Longed-For Hunger

by Marisa Chenery

  He crossed the warehouse and brushed past Akori who then fell into step behind him with Kysen hard on his heels. “Were you supposed to go see Nyx?” Akori asked. 85

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  “Yes, damn it.”

  Akori laughed. “I’m sure she won’t be mad at you for standing her up. Much.”

  Denger turned on Akori. “I’m glad you can find yourself able to laugh at my expense. Just wait until it’s your turn and you’ve found your mate.”

  Visibly blanching, Akori said, “Now that was a low blow. You know if I ever find the woman who is supposed to be my mate I’ll run in the opposite direction as fast as my legs will carry me.”

  Thinking of how strong a pull Nyx had on him, it was Denger’s turn to burst out laughing. “You won’t stand a chance of escaping your fate, Akori. Ra has decreed we all will find our mates. What Ra decrees always comes to pass. So you’re basically screwed.”

  Akori scowled. “Aren’t you late or something?”

  Having reached his quarters, Denger shook his head at Akori while he and Kysen continued down the hall without him. He went inside and headed for the bathroom. He’d take a quick shower then go to the bookstore. He could only hope that Nyx wouldn’t be too pissed off that he hadn’t shown up.

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  Chapter Eleven

  When Nyx arrived at the bookstore, she immediately went in search of Janet. She found her at one of the bookshelves close to the back of the store. The smile her friend gave her when she first spotted her faded. Nyx knew what Janet saw. She’d seen what a sleepless night had done to her face when she’d looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror that morning.

  “You look like hell, Nyx,” Janet said with concern. “When I told you to take Saturday off, I thought you would have enjoyed your weekend with Denger. What happened? Did he stand you up?”

  “No. I spent Saturday with him as planned, and most of Sunday.”

  “For someone who spent that much time with her new hottie, you don’t look like a woman who enjoyed herself. Did you sleep with him and he turned out to be crappy in bed?”

  Her cheeks heated with a blush. “No, it wasn’t that.” She had nothing to complain about where Denger’s skills in bed were concerned. She just had a problem with him being a homicidal killer. Not that she was going to tell Janet that. Janet gave her a knowing smile. “So he knocked your socks off. Then why do you look as if you’ve been to hell and back?”

  “It’s not something I really want to get into. Just do me a favor. If Denger happens to show up, tell him I’m not here.”

  Janet frowned. “Let me get this straight. You’re going to hide from the man who gave you great sex and you want me to lie to him?”

  “Please, Janet. Just do this for me. All right?”

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  After she searched Nyx’s face, Janet nodded. “Fine. I’ll do it. I don’t understand why you want me to, but I’ll do it. It’s not about you feeling guilty about sleeping with him? You can’t let the memory of Derek come between you and the next man in your life.”

  “It’s not that. I know Derek wouldn’t want that. Why I don’t want to see Denger anymore has nothing to do with Derek.”

  “I won’t push,” Janet said. “Like I said, I still don’t understand but I’ll do it.”

  “Thanks. Hopefully Denger will take the hint the first time and you won’t have to do it again.”

  Janet waved what Nyx had said away. “Don’t worry about it. Why don’t you work at the front of the store so you can keep an eye out for him in case he does show up?”

  With a nod, Nyx left Janet and went to where she’d suggested. She took a look out the front window. So far the coast was clear. Nyx had a really strong feeling that Denger would show up. After all the calls he’d made to her this morning, and her letting the machine get each one, the chances were really high that he would try the bookstore next.

  Her fears soon came to be realized when Nyx caught sight of Denger way down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street headed her way. Running to the back of the store, she called Janet’s name to give her the heads-up, then ducked into Janet’s office and slammed the door shut.

  * * * * *

  Stepping inside the bookstore, Denger swept the inside with his gaze. He couldn’t see Nyx anywhere. Spotting her boss, Janet, he walked over to her. Janet gave him a friendly smile. “Hey, Denger. How are you?”

  “Good, thanks. Is Nyx around?”

  “Sorry, she isn’t. She called to say she couldn’t come into work today. There was some sort of family emergency. Have you tried leaving a message on her machine at 88

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  home? I know when she’s out she’ll sometimes call from wherever she is to pick them up.”

  “Yeah, I already did that.”

  “Well, I can tell her you stopped by if she happens to call in later.”

  “That would be great. I guess I’ll see you around.”

  Turning on his heel, Denger headed out of the store. Janet was lying. Nyx was there hiding from him. He’d smelled her scent as soon as he’d stepped into the bookstore. It was fresh, probably only minutes old. Obviously the other woman was helping Nyx avoid him. The big question was why.

  The uneasy feeling that for some reason he’d scared Nyx off settled over him. Once when they’d been kissing the day before she’d swept her tongue over one of his fangs but she really hadn’t reacted to it. So it couldn’t be that. Longing to be with Nyx, his blood hunger riding him, Denger forced himself to walk away and not look back. He’d leave her alone for now, but once he figured she’d be home from work, he’d stop by her apartment and see if she would see him then.

  * * * * *

  After work, Nyx rushed home and locked herself in her apartment. She’d half expected to find Denger standing out at the front of the building waiting for her but much to her relief, he hadn’t been. She’d then made a mad dash to the front entrance. Sometimes it sucked that her building didn’t have underground parking. In no mood to cook a meal for herself, Nyx threw a frozen dinner into the microwave. As she stood near it waiting, she found herself thinking the front entrance buzzer was going to go off at any minute. Feeling the muscles in her shoulders and neck tighten with strain, Nyx forced herself to relax.

  She took the dinner out and slid it onto a plate. Forgoing the kitchen table, she took it to the living room and turned on the television. She put the dinner on the coffee table to wait for it to cool a bit so she could eat it.

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  Her gaze landed on the piece of leather that sat on the table. Nyx picked it up and ran it through her fingers. It was what Denger had used to tie back his hair. He’d forgotten the day before when he’d rushed out of her apartment. She’d found it on her bedroom floor that morning. Her first reaction had been to throw it out but she ended up not being able to.

  She rubbed the leather against her cheek. Realizing what she’d done, she forced herself to move it away from her face. He’s a killer, Nyx. Don’t ever forget it. God, she was going to drive herself crazy. Even though seeing Denger take out that guy in the alley had scared the crap out of her, Nyx found herself unable to stop thinking about him. She all too clearly remembered how good it had felt to be held in his arms, to have him make love to her. Her traitorous body melted each time she thought about it. And it had been good thoughts about Denger that had made it so she didn’t sleep a wink during the night.

  About to put the piece of leather back on the coffee table and pick up her dinner, Nyx froze halfway when her buzzer went off. She fisted the leather in her hand as she went stiff as a board. It was Denger. She just knew it and some small part of her that had a death wish wanted nothing more than to let him in. Her more sane part had her staying exactly where she was.

  The buzzer went off again. The noise seemed to reverberate inside her head. Nyx closed her eyes and took d
eep, even breaths. She’d ignore it and Denger would go away. He couldn’t get inside the apartment even if he managed to get someone to let him into the building. She had her apartment locked up tight. Five minutes, then ten, then fifteen went by and the buzzer didn’t go off for a third time. Nyx got up and made her way over to the living room window that looked out over the front of the building. She took hold of the curtains and only opened them a crack, just enough for her to see outside. She glimpsed the sight of Denger’s broad back as he walked away.

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  Yanking the curtains closed, Nyx went back to the couch and picked up her meal. A sense of disappointment washed over her. Denger really hadn’t tried that hard before he’d given up. She then gave herself a mental slap. That was a good thing, not a bad. She picked up the television remote and flipped through the channels while she ate. She really was pathetic. The first man she started to have feelings for after losing her husband and he turns out to be a murderer. And those feelings hadn’t gone away yet. What kind of person did that make her?

  * * * * *

  Denger walked away from Nyx’s apartment and ducked around the corner of the building next to it. Not seeing anyone around, he flashed himself back to his personal quarters. The mood he was in, he didn’t want to run into Blythe or Desiree. When he’d returned from the bookstore wondering what the hell he’d done to push Nyx away, they had taken one look at him and brought him to the kitchen to talk. Thinking maybe one of them could help him figure out what he’d done wrong, he’d told Blythe and Desiree how Nyx seemed to be avoiding him. Neither one of them had been able to offer him any good advice other than not to give up on Nyx, but also to give her some space if that was what she needed right now.

  Denger still didn’t have a fucking clue how he was to manage those two things at the same time. Knowing what Nyx meant to him, he couldn’t exactly stay away from her. Her rejection was eating at him. Not giving up on her meant he had to somehow get her to either see him or talk to him. That required him not to give her the so called

  “space” Blythe and Desiree thought Nyx might need. By the gods, he was confused. Weaponing up for another night of hunting the undead, Denger hoped like hell he ran into a whole shitload of them. Right about now, it was the only thing that would help him feel more like himself.

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  Chapter Twelve

  A week. It’d been a damn fucking week since Denger had last seen Nyx. She still hadn’t returned his phone calls and going to her apartment got him nowhere. He didn’t even bother to go to the bookstore. It didn’t take a genius to know that would only end up being a dead end as well.

  The forced separation from Nyx was eating at Denger, making him unfit company for anyone. He’d probably snapped at everyone at least once. And it didn’t help matters that his blood hunger had reached the point where it was clawing at his guts. He’d held off finding a donor to feed from but he couldn’t hold out for much longer. In another few days, he’d be feeling it bad.

  He knew the risk he would be taking if he did feed from a donor. At this point in their relationships with their mates, both Mehen and Set hadn’t been able to feed from anyone but them without suffering painful consequences. If Nyx was truly his mate, and he was starting to wonder if he’d been mistaken about her since she was having no problems shutting him out of her life, he would suffer the same kind of pain. But he had to do something.

  Right after dinner, another meal he found he couldn’t stomach, Denger left the headquarters and headed downtown. He still had a few hours before he and his fellow warriors would go out hunting. He decided now was as good a time as any to do what he had to do.

  Once he parked his Mustang, he headed for one of the bars. It was a bit early for some of them to be open, but not all. Finding one, he stood out front until he caught the eye of a woman, a slim brunette dressed in a short skirt who had showed up at the bar with a bunch of other women. When she gave him an interested look, he quickly 92

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  slipped into her mind and planted the suggestion that she wanted to make a call on her cell phone and to tell her friends she would meet them inside afterward. When the other women left her, he then planted the suggestion that she follow him. Without saying a word, he led her to the back of the next building. Once they were out of sight, he took her in his arms. She went up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. Denger kissed her back but got no enjoyment out of it. Her lips didn’t feel right beneath his. He didn’t even like the feel of her against him but he fought his aversion. Leaving her lips, he settled his mouth on the side of her neck. He grazed her skin with his fangs but they refused to drop. He felt nothing. No anticipation of the feeding and no arousal that usually came with it. It just felt all wrong. When the woman shuddered in his arms and moaned, Denger came close to changing his mind. He would do this. He had to. Nyx had left him no choice. Closing his eyes, he brought her image up in his head. He forced himself to pretend it was her he held, not an anonymous donor he’d picked up. That worked. His fangs extended and he sank them into the woman’s neck. She cried out, rubbing herself against him while he fed. The instant her blood hit his stomach, the cramping in his gut became three times stronger. Another mouthful and it had him gasping in pain. Denger released her neck and swiped his tongue over the bite mark to heal it. He then forced the woman to look at him. It took only a couple of seconds to wipe him and his biting her from her mind. Once finished, he sent her back to the bar to be with her friends with only the memory of her making her call.

  In more pain then when he’d left, Denger returned to his car and drove back to the headquarters. He’d just fucked himself royally. He needed Nyx more than ever. He’d gone from painful but still manageable blood hunger to the extreme in a matter of minutes. Before finding his mate, that would have taken months to come about. Now only his mate’s blood would appease it.

  After parking his car in the docking bay, Denger went to the door that connected to the living area and punched in the code on the security pad. Then under that, he 93

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  pressed down on the piece of rock set in the wall. The door clicked open as Denger licked his finger to heal the miniscule wound Ra’s gift had left behind. He shut the door behind him. Denger let out a groan and held onto his stomach as a particularly vicious cramp gripped his guts. He leaned back against the closed door and shut his eyes, forcing himself to breathe through it.

  “You fed from a donor, didn’t you?”

  Denger opened his eyes and looked at Takan who now stood in front of him. The warrior had moved so silently Denger hadn’t heard him approach. “I didn’t know what else to do. A whole week has gone by and Nyx still refuses to see me. I haven’t got a fucking clue how to fix it.”

  “Look at me,” Takan said.

  Even though the other warrior perpetually had his hair hanging in front of his face, Denger met what of his gaze he could see. The sensation of falling into Takan’s eyes alerted Denger to the fact that Takan was having one of his visions. He kept his gaze locked with him as Takan lifted his hand and placed it on Denger’s chest over his heart. Just another thing he did when he had a vision. It supposedly helped him to see his visions better.

  After a few seconds, Takan lowered his hand and stepped back. He shook more of his hair into his eyes. “If you leave things how they are now with Nyx, you will lose her. Go to her now and explain what you are.”

  Denger pushed away from the door. “Don’t you think I would if I could? She won’t let me near her.”

  Takan shook his head. “You’re thinking like a mortal, not one of Ra’s Chosen. A locked door is no obstacle for one of us. If she won’t see you, then place her in a situation where she has no choice but to.”

  “Damn, Takan,” Denger said. “Sometimes you can be as cryptic as Ra. But this time, I know exactly what you mean.”

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  Takan seemed to stiffen at Denger comparing him to the sun god. “If you understand, then I suggest you do it.” He then backed away. “I’ll tell Mehen you’ll be a little too busy to hunt tonight.”

  Denger watched Takan go. He hadn’t realized that being compared to Ra would be a touchy subject for him. Pushing that bit of information away, more concerned with what he planned to do, he flashed himself outside to the front of the headquarters. At a brisk run, it didn’t take him long to reach Nyx’s apartment building. He walked up to the front entrance and used his mind to unlock it. Stepping inside, he let the door close behind him before he took the steps two at a time to her floor. Making no noise as he walked to her door, he leaned his ear against it. The sound of her television told him she was indeed home. Taking a deep breath, he used his mind to unlock the locks one at a time. He grasped the doorknob, turned it and pushed the door open.

  Nyx stood in the middle of the living room, her face completely white. “What are you doing? How did you get in here?”

  Denger frowned. This, he hadn’t expected. Nyx wasn’t just upset for some reason, she was scared of him. He took a step toward her. “You shut me out. You didn’t leave me much choice.”

  She held her hands out in front of her to ward him off. With each step he took toward her, she took one back. “What do you mean? Are you going to kill me now?”

  That brought Denger to an instant standstill. “Kill you? Of course I’m not going to kill you. Why on earth would you think that? I could no more harm you than I could rip my own heart out.”

  “I…I saw you kill that man. You stabbed him and then he just sort of disintegrated.”

  “Shit,” Denger said under his breath. “I had no idea you saw that. It wasn’t what you thought you saw.”

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