Little Secrets--The Baby Merger

by Yvonne Lindsay

  No! She squirmed in her seat.

  “Is your lunch okay?” Kirk asked with a curious expression on his face.

  “Great,” she said, taking another bite, this time with less audible enthusiasm.

  She’d have to eat more carefully in the future, she decided, if enjoying her sub had this effect on him. And if his reaction had the same domino effect on her. So she’d have to remember to control herself. That couldn’t be too hard, could it? She had no plans to eat with him again after this, did she? In fact, she had no plans to spend any more time with him than their jobs absolutely required.

  For some stupid reason, that thought caused a pang of something deep inside—something she didn’t quite want to define. He lied to you, she reminded herself. By omission, yes, but keeping his true identity from her that night had been deliberate, and she still had no idea why he’d done it or what he’d hoped to gain by it. So ask him, the little voice at the back of her mind said pragmatically.

  Maybe she would. But that would mean spending more time together, wouldn’t it? Besides, referring to that night would bring back the memories of how she’d behaved so uncharacteristically. Of what they’d done—and of how it had made her feel.

  Darn it! Maybe it was hormones, she thought. She’d never been the type to play sex kitten. In fact, she’d always been slightly embarrassed and a little uncomfortable when the girls around her in college, and even sometimes here in the office, ever discussed their sexual activities. But there was something about this guy that opened sensual floodgates she hadn’t known existed. She’d always thought that maybe she was just slightly different from the other women she knew—less passionate, less sensual. But maybe she’d just been waiting for the right man to come along.

  Except he wasn’t the right man, was he? He was her boss. He was a sneak. And yet he was the best lover she was ever likely to have in her lifetime.

  She sighed and put down her now empty wrapper. She’d been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn’t even realized she’d finished the sub.

  For the next several hours, Kirk chaired a discussion between Sally and her team on the best way to begin implementing the proposal. By the end of the workday, she didn’t know if she was energized because she was so excited about seeing her spark of an idea being set on the road to fruition or exhausted at the thought of all the work ahead. She did feel a deep sense of satisfaction, though, and she’d begun to see Kirk in a new light.

  He had that rare talent of listening—and listening well—to what her team had to say. And when he injected his own thoughts and ideas, he was gracious about accepting criticism if those ideas were challenged. A part of her wished she’d never met him that night, that instead she’d had the chance of meeting him in the normal course of work and of seeing whether the attraction that crackled between them like static electricity might have grown naturally over time rather than exploding all at once in the accelerated fling they’d had.

  But now they were linked by a baby. Her mouth turned dry as sawdust. While she wanted to have as little to do with Kirk as possible, she would never deny her child access to their father. The very thought was impossible to her, especially when her own relationship with her dad was such an integral part of who she was. But how could they coparent a child when there was still so much tension between them?

  Maybe she was getting ahead of herself. She had plenty of time to think about all that. Plenty of time to work out adequate coping strategies and discuss this situation they had found themselves in like rational adults. People did that all the time, didn’t they?

  But did they spend half their time fighting a magnetic pull so strong she felt like a helpless tide being influenced by a supermoon? She didn’t want to think about that right now. She’d have to put it on the back burner for as long as she could. But, judging by the quick glances flung her way by the man sitting next to her, that wouldn’t be very long at all.

  Seven

  The meeting finished and Kirk hung back, talking to Nick, as Sally gathered her things together and stopped to give instructions to a handful of people. He liked watching her in action. Hell, he liked watching her, period. As if she sensed his perusal, she looked up and caught his eye. And, yes, there was that telltale flush of color on her cheeks. He was finding it more and more endearing each time he saw it.

  Finally she was ready to leave, and he fell into step with her as she headed to the elevators.

  “Feeling okay?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, seriously. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

  “You’re carrying my baby,” he murmured close to her ear. “I think I’m entitled to be concerned.”

  She stiffened at his words. “So, what? You want to monitor me twenty-four-seven? Is that what it is?”

  The idea had merit.

  Sally huffed an impatient sigh. “Look, it’s still early, and I can assure you I will do whatever is in my power to stay healthy and to ensure that everything goes as it should.”

  Somehow that didn’t satisfy him. For reasons even he didn’t understand, it just didn’t go far enough.

  “I’m sure you will,” he agreed. “But you have to admit, sharing that responsibility has its advantages, too.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked as they stepped into the empty elevator.

  “I don’t know if you’ve been sick yet, but what if nausea does occur?”

  “Then I’ll deal with it,” she said grimly and crossed her arms over her body. “I’m a big girl, Kirk. I’ve been looking after myself for a good many years now. I think I can cope with a pregnancy.”

  “I’ve no doubt. But I’d really like to be a part of things. I know this news has come as a shock to both of us, but I’d like to think that together we can get through it. Look, can I see you home so we can talk about this in a more private setting?”

  Sally rolled her eyes at him. “You’re not going to leave me alone until I agree, are you?”

  He didn’t want to leave her alone at all. The thought came as a shock, but it felt right at the same time.

  “I like to get my way,” he conceded. “But I’d feel happier if you conceded that this is something we should iron out sooner rather than later.”

  “Oh, of course, your being happy is so very important,” she said with a touch of bitterness. “Okay, then. You can take me home. Benton will be waiting downstairs for me. I’ll have to let him know.”

  It was a small victory, but Kirk was happy to take it. Benton was waiting in the elevator lobby of the parking garage, and Kirk stepped forward to introduce himself. The man looked him over as if he was a potential threat before relaxing an increment when Sally stepped forward with an apologetic smile.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you notice of this, Benton. Mr. Tanner and I need to extend our discussions, so he’ll be taking me home this evening.”

  “Whatever you want, Ms. Harrison. I’ll see you in the morning, then?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  Kirk walked Sally over to his SUV and helped her in.

  When they arrived at her apartment building a few minutes later, he pulled into the parking space she indicated. They rode the elevator to the top floor, and he followed her into an elegant and well-proportioned apartment. While it was mostly decorated in neutral tones, an occasional pop of color drew his eye—a cushion here, a throw rug there. But overall there was very little to tell him about the woman who intrigued him far more than he wanted to admit.

  He moved to the large windows that looked out in the direction of Lake Washington. It was growing dark, and across the lake he could make out the twinkle of lights around its rim. A sound from behind him made him turn. Sally had pulled the band from her hair and was tousling her fingers through the mass of spun gold. He liked this more relaxed version of her more than the buttoned-down
woman who headed her social engineering department. On second thought, he liked the naked, warm and willing version from just over a month ago the best, but she’d made it quite clear they weren’t going to go there again.

  But it was oh so satisfying, he reminded himself. And yet look at the trouble it has put us in, he countered. Kirk slammed the door closed on his thoughts and looked at Sally more closely. Beneath her makeup he could still see the telltale signs of the stress she’d been under today. She had to be exhausted.

  “Look, I won’t take up a lot of your time. I know you need to get something to eat and then probably have an early night.”

  She barked a cynical laugh. “Are you my mother now?”

  He gave her a half smile of apology. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m overcompensating.”

  “You think?” She moved toward the kitchen. “Did you want something to drink? I have beer, water, wine.”

  “A beer, thanks.”

  He watched as she poured the beer into a tall glass then opened a small bottle of sparkling water for herself. Of course she wouldn’t be drinking alcohol. The realization hit him hard. She was going to have to make so many changes. So many adjustments. It was hardly fair, was it?

  “Take a seat,” she said, bringing their drinks through to the small sitting room.

  Kirk sat at one end of the sofa, and Sally took the other end. Awkward silence stretched between them.

  “You wanted to talk, didn’t you? What about, exactly?” Sally asked.

  “The baby, for a start. How do you feel about it?”

  “Shocked, surprised. Scared.”

  “Yeah, me too. I hadn’t planned on this at this stage of my life.”

  Sally sat a little more upright. “And just when had you planned it for?”

  He couldn’t tell if she was sniping at him or genuinely curious. He decided that honesty was probably the best policy right now.

  “To be honest, I had hoped to start looking for a wife about five years from now and hopefully start a family a few years after that.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Look, I know it sounds clinical, but I grew up with a lot of instability. Being able to make a plan and stick to it kept me anchored when things were tough at home, even when my dad was still alive.” He didn’t want to admit his father’s weakness to her. He’d spent his entire adult life working hard to erase those memories, to overcome the hardships he and his mother had endured—and he’d succeeded. He wasn’t about to be made to feel ashamed of that. Not by anyone.

  Sally shrugged and took a sip of her water. “That makes sense, I guess. I’m sorry things were so hard for you.”

  “You know that saying about gaining strength through adversity? Well, I decided to adopt that a long time ago. And I’ve managed to achieve a lot of success by staying strong and keeping my focus on my goals. But now I need to reevaluate. This child we’re having, I very much want to be a part of its life, Sally. I don’t want to be a weekend father or an absentee parent. I want to be there, for everything.”

  “That could be difficult, considering we’re not even a couple.”

  “But we could be. We already know we’re compatible in the bedroom.”

  “Too compatible, it seems,” she commented acerbically.

  “Look, I never considered having a committed relationship or starting a family until I’d achieved my career goal targets because I never wanted a child of mine to miss out on anything—whether it be financially or emotionally. You want the same thing, right? For our child to have everything he or she needs to be happy, healthy and safe? Loving parents are part of that package. Perhaps we ought to consider being a couple.”

  “What, go steady, you mean?” she said with a gurgle of laughter.

  “More than that. We should get married. Think about it—it makes perfect sense. This is only a one-bedroom apartment, right? Where would you put the baby when it’s born? Have you even thought about that? And what about work? Do you plan to be a stay-at-home mom or continue with your career?”

  Sally put her glass down very slowly. “Kirk, we only just found out about this pregnancy today. We have plenty of time ahead of us for decision making. Let’s not be rash.”

  “Rash? I don’t think so. It’s logical.”

  “I’m sorry, but it isn’t logical to me in the least. We hardly know each other, and I’m not sure that I want to be married to you. I’m certainly not going to make a decision like that on such short acquaintance.”

  Kirk fought back the arguments that sprang to the tip of his tongue. It was clear she was feeling more than a little overwhelmed by his suggestion, which was entirely understandable. She needed time to think, and so did he. If he was going to campaign successfully to win Sally’s hand, he would have to go about it carefully.

  “At least think about it,” he urged. “And talk to me—seriously, anything. Any questions, any problems, bring them to me and we’ll solve them together.”

  “Oh, I’ll be thinking about it,” she admitted with a rueful shake of her head. “I imagine I’ll be thinking about little else. By the way, I don’t want anyone else to know about this just yet.”

  He nodded. The only person he would have shared the news with would have been his mother, and with her gone he had no one else. No one else except the child now nestled inside the woman sitting opposite him. A feeling bloomed within his chest—pride tinged with a liberal dose of an emotion he’d had little enough experience with. Love. It was odd to think that he could love another being before it truly came into existence in the world, but he knew, without doubt, that he loved his child, and the intensity of the emotion shook him to his core.

  * * *

  Sally wasn’t sure what was going through Kirk’s mind, but if the determined look on his face was anything to go by, she was going to have some battles on her hands over the next few months. Probably over the next few years, she amended. He was a man used to having his way—it was inevitable that they were going to bump heads from time to time when it came to deciding what was best for the baby.

  Her head swam. Discovering she was pregnant was shocking enough. Dealing with Kirk as her baby’s father was another matter entirely—especially now that he seemed to believe they should get married.

  Over the past couple of years, life had shown her that you had to reach for the things that mattered most to you. Had to fight for them. Her best friend from college, Angel, who’d turned out to be a secret European princess, had shown her how important it was to follow and fight for your dream.

  Dissatisfied with a politically arranged betrothal based only on expedience with no affection attached, Angel—or, Princess Mila, as she’d been officially known—had broken with tradition and done everything in her power to ensure she won her betrothed’s heart, even at the risk of losing him altogether.

  Just weeks ago, they’d celebrated the christening of their first child, a little boy who would become crown prince of Sylvain—and to Sally’s eyes, when she’d visited to attend the ceremony, neither Angel nor King Thierry had ever looked happier or more fulfilled.

  She wanted that. She wanted a man who would look at her the way King Thierry looked at Angel. There was no doubt in the world that Angel was his queen in every sense of the word. While Sally had always hoped to be a mother someday, she’d intended to start that stage of her life by finding the right man to be a husband and father first. Had planned to bring her child into a home already filled with love and trust. How could she have any of that with Kirk? She didn’t love him—she barely knew him. And trust? Not a chance. The only positive traits she could assign to him were his appearance, his bedroom skills and the fact that he seemed to be a very capable boss. Her boss, in fact. And that added another layer of complication.

  Sally wanted a life that was lived with purpose. One that yielded great re
sults for others as well as for herself. She wanted to make a difference, and she ached to fulfill her potential. It’s what she’d spent at least eight years of her life studying for and even more time interning at Harrison IT for. And yet despite her dreams, she continued to remain in the background. Knowing she was being held back by her phobia was one thing, but having a baby added a whole other layer to things.

  Kirk had spoken of his career plans, but what would this do to her long-term goals? No matter what anyone said, life was very different for a woman in the workplace. That glass ceiling was still well and truly in place, and there were few women in the upper echelons of management. She’d hoped that one day, if she could overcome her phobia, she might earn a position up there. That the people she worked with would respect that she’d climbed her way up that corporate ladder, striving as hard as the rest of them.

  No one would take her seriously if she was married to the vice president. Any advancement in her career would be looked upon as being won because of who she was, not what she brought to the role.

  “Look,” she started. “I’ve got a lot to think about, and you’re right—I’m tired and I need an early night. Would you go, please?”

  “You promise me you’ll have something to eat?”

  She gave him an are-you-serious look.

  “Okay, okay,” he said, holding up one hand. “Don’t shoot me for caring. You have no idea what it was like to watch you crumple like that this morning.”

  He made it sound like he actually cared.

  “I will have something to eat.”

  “I cook a mean omelet. If you have eggs, I could make it for you.”

  Her mouth watered. “Fine,” she said, making a sudden decision. “I’m going to grab a shower. I’m not sure what’s in the fridge, but go knock yourself out.”