Questing Heart: Fighting Heart Erotic Bad Boy Romance Series Book 2

by Hamilton, Nicole

  “That’s brilliant to hear, Joanna.”

  “But there’s something else… something personal…”

  “Yeah?”

  “A question. Do you find me attractive, Cody?”

  Cody turned towards Joanna and she turned to face him, her hair falling to one side of her angled face. An image of Ashley flicked through Cody’s mind, but he remembered his rule put it aside. Ashley didn’t want him – she had made that clear.

  “Joanna, you are a beautiful lady.”

  “Perfect. That’s all I wanted to hear you say,” The woman laid down her glass of wine, the leather sofa creaked as she moved across, leaning over him. Her blouse was open at the top and Cody glimpsed the alluring mounds of her cleavage for the first time. Her skirt creased up her thighs as she moved over Cody’s legs, and when her lips found his, Cody didn’t fight. His arms gently slid around her back and their lips touched. There was heat in their connection. They kissed hungry and passionately.

  “I want to be your muse, Cody... How can I become your muse?” she said breathily. “Shall we?”

  She pointed to the bed and pulled Cody by his hand. Her eyes saw the swelling in his jeans and she smiled coquettishly. There was no hiding Cody’s desire or excitement. But still something was bugging him, calling him through the heat of lust. As they moved to the big soft bed, Joanna started to shed her clothes. Her blouse fell away to reveal a fine slender body with full breasts supported in a lacy bra. She unzipped her skirt and wriggled it to the floor. Cody ravaged her full hips and smooth looking thighs with his eyes. She wore maroon lace underwear. She looked fantastic, packaged to perfection. In his lust-filled gaze, Joanna shifted her body to tempt him further.

  “Joanna…” said Cody, unable to gather his thoughts as his eyes roamed her body.

  “So then, I think we’ve fixed the sleeping arrangements,” she said, turning to Cody by the bed. She pulled him in close and now he saw more definition in her face, evidence of her ten years age difference. There was beauty within it all. They kissed softly, then ravenously, and she slid down onto the bed, gently tugging Cody to lie on top of her. His worries about their business relationship and future appeared and subsided as Cody got lost in lust and sensation. As yet he hadn’t asked her anything about herself, and it bothered him mildly within the lust and the intoxicating taste of her. Who was this sexy, classy woman? She was his agent yes, and he was about to make love to her, and he didn’t know where it was leading, or where it would end… He thought of Ashley’s texts. Then he thought of Ashley, who he knew so well inside a week it felt like he’d known her his whole life.

  Her tongue filled his mouth and danced with his. Her hand cupped his face. Her left hand. Cody’s eyes caught hold of the pale line of skin around her ring finger, the finger where marriage rings are worn. The skin there was slightly sunken and paler than the rest. Ten seconds later Cody broke the kiss.

  “Joanna, you are so beautiful… “

  “I want you, Cody…I want you inside me…”

  “But not yet, Joanna… I don’t want this to spoil things between us. Not now…”

  The woman was close up filling his vision with her beauty and his senses with her scent and softness. Cody could so easily have kissed her… Her kisses, her eyes were wonderful and yet… She read his gaze and withdrew.

  “You still love her, don’t you Cody?”

  “Love… is a strong word…”

  Joanna gently rolled away and laid back. Instantly he missed the weight of her body and the feel of her soft warm skin. “You are a dish, Cody. And I will do my best to help you all the way. When you’ve finished pining for that girl, we’ll see what we can do about us. Cody, you really know how to frustrate a girl… but, you may as well sleep in this bed though. We can’t have you looking frightful for the literati tomorrow, can we?”

  Cody feared his lust would get the better of him, but he didn’t want to spurn Joanna altogether. She was his agent. And the slightest regret lingered in him that he had not taken her body as she had wanted him to. Joanna was Cody’s ticket to the bright lights and a better future. He couldn’t believe he had just turned down such a beautiful and attractive woman. Cody swore at himself and eventually fell asleep feeling Joanna’s warmth beside him. The next morning Cody was more tired from the struggle with his desire, than if he had slept on the sofa.

  But when he saw Ashley at The Great Stag that night Cody felt like celebrating that he had resisted Joanna’s sweet temptation. If anything, he felt terrible that he had let things with Joanna Laws get so far…

  While Ashley looked for a hotel that night Cody went out to dinner with Joanna Laws as per his duty but he could barely think of anything other than Ashley. He laughed at Joanna’s jokes and she gently mocked him for his unrequited love. They were now friends and had almost been lovers. Cody felt the dynamic between them was already shifting in a positive way, making her friendship safe. At the end of the evening, parting on good terms and both a little tipsy, Joanna paid the bill and they left. Out in the cool city air, with the Roman wall and gates just beyond them, Cody felt glad to have finished the meal and enjoyed Joanna’s company without any damage done to either relationship. He was happy and relieved. He guessed she was still married or recently divorced – it had been a near miss, so now he knew he would never go there, especially with Ashley back on the scene. But he still felt kinship and respect for Joanna. And a hint of attraction. She was on his team and she was the boss. Joanna smiled and turned to face Cody outside the restaurant, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

  “You know what, Cody? I’ve got a lot of respect for you.”

  “Really? What for?”

  “I know you wanted me as much as I wanted you last night.”

  “Ummmmm… maybe...”

  “Yeah, right. I thought you were going to burst out of those trousers of yours… But you were the professional one, not me,” in spite of her words, her eyes were still pulling him in like a siren.

  “Really? I was professional last night?”

  She laughed. “Almost. But, to seal our more professional footing, I really must have one final kiss. Think of it as sealing the ending on our briefest almost-relationship. You do kiss rather well, Mr Barnes.”

  “Um. Are you sure that’s wise, Joanna?”

  “No. Wise-schmise. But look I’ve just taken you to dinner, we can have a little kiss, and then go to our separate beds. How about that. Maybe one day, I will be your muse.”

  Joanna smiled - his pretty agent. Surely she deserved one final kiss. Just one… They leaned close together and Cody pressed my lips gently to hers. Their mouths opened instinctively, and their tongues reached for one another. No. Cody pulled away feeling the electric heat coming from Joanna taking hold of him. Cody put his arm out for her to link with hers and they began to walk together, slowly like two old friends. But ahead of them, beneath the archway of the York city gate a slender young woman, her pale face framed by a curtain of blonde hair stood stock still. Cody froze, mirroring her body language. It was unmistakably Ashley. And she had seen every moment of the kiss. It was written all across her face. Ashley made an unhappy smile, crossed her arms and walked away. No. No way, thought Cody. Not like this. His heart turned over in his chest. It couldn’t end like this…

  Eight

  So you could say my first night in York didn’t end as well as it began. I checked in to a joint called the White Rose B&B. For the same price as a Travelodge I was going to get a free breakfast, and from what I’d seen the place was homely and full of lovely old-school chintz. It reminded me a little of the home I’d grown up in, but not enough to make me miss it. Even so, I needed to get out for some air. After thinking about Cody’s eyes, his smile and his enthusiasm at seeing me, I regretted turning down his offer of going out to dinner. But I still think Joanna, could have turned against me if I’d gone, and who needed that? But I was still hopeful of seeing him, in an accidental kind of way. So around nine-forty five I
headed out for a walk. I wasn’t dressed for a date or any kind of romantic tryst. I just wanted to see him again to talk, and to say goodnight. I wanted to surprise him, so I walked along the road within the vast walls of the old Roman city, and looked in each of the restaurants that studded the route from The Great Stag. I spent fifteen minutes looking before I decided to give up. They weren’t in the pub, and didn’t seem to be in any of the other restaurants nearby, and many of them were so big, dark and deep I couldn’t hope to see inside. I realised I was being dumb. I headed back to the White Rose to sleep it off when I suddenly heard voices behind me. They came from nowhere, but they caught my imagination. I must have recognised them. There was talk of a kiss. And it was then I turned round, recognising them with my heart in my mouth. I quietly swallowed it back down in the shadows of an ancient stone archway. I saw Cody and Joanna locked in an embrace, kissing. It was a tender probing kiss - the type of kiss I had secretly hoped for when I left the B&B to find him. She had stolen it before me. Why didn’t Cody tell me they were lovers? Maybe he didn’t want to upset me. Maybe there was another reason, but from now on, all I knew was that Cody had been taken by the sophisticated woman in the sexy suits. I would have to respect that. From now on, Cody was just a friend. But I hoped he could still be the friend I needed.

  Later that night, after I barricaded myself in the B&B Cody sent me a text message. I didn’t want to read it, having lived through a bundle of male excuses in the last month. I closed my eyes and finally read it over my greasy full English breakfast as I pondered my long journey to no home and no hope in London.

  Hi Ashley. I know what you thought you saw. Things are not as they seem. Please don’t go. Stay and meet up with me tomorrow, ok?

  Yeesh. The first half of the text sucked. What I thought I saw? It was such a man-excuse that I almost discarded the second part of the text. But I couldn’t. I needed Cody, and in spite of what I had seen I knew he wasn’t a bastard like Brandon.

  Please don’t go. Stay and meet up with me tomorrow, ok?

  I looked at my phone. “Okay Cody. I’ll stay for one more day.” After all, what did I have to go home for? I picked up a copy of the festival brochure and scanned for Cody’s name on the programme. There. Under today’s date was the venue and time with Cody’s name beneath in small print. Another day, another country pub venue. I had almost two hundred and fifty of my wages left from Purdy’s. I intended to go back to London before I wasted any of my hard earned savings pursuing whatever I was pursuing in York. And I decided to let Cody wait instead of replying to his text. Maybe it was a little cruel, but by keeping Cody on his toes, I guessed I would be able to gauge the real level of his feelings towards me and Joanna. I liked Cody and I wanted to trust him… but hey, once bitten twice shy.

  It was eight o’clock when I walked into The Rusty Shovel, an old Tudor pub with a low ceiling. It was full of chatter. Inside this little pub there was barely room for a stage, and there were people wherever I looked. I found an empty stool at the end of the bar, ordered a small glass of white wine and took out my festival brochure before any strangers had the chance to bother me. When I’d settled in, I looked around. I had one goal tonight. I wanted to talk with Cody, and I wanted to talk to him alone. If he was just a friend, that was fine, but I needed to speak with someone I could trust. Yeah, I admit I wanted more, but sometimes you have to take what you can get. Cody as a friend was better than no friend at all. I looked all the way around the pub, scoping it for Cody and his sophisticated squeeze. I saw there was a brown door through to another bar, but I didn’t much fancy traipsing around with drink in hand, lest I stumbled into some local letch. No. The reading and signing area was at the end of the room flanked by pop-up signs. I decided to stay put and wait it out. Unfortunately, among a wall of posters about new writers, I saw a close-up smiling photograph of none other than Brandon Lynes. I just hoped it wasn’t some kind of omen.

  Cody passed me by from the other bar, the beautiful Joanna Laws following close behind him. Her good looks upset me, and her chic suits annoyed me. She was all over him like a rash. Why hadn’t I seen what a catch Cody was before now? He didn’t see me until after he took his place behind a lectern. As he said Good Evening, his eyes passed over my face and latched onto me. His eyes brightened and smiled without smiling and I felt it. I smiled back without wanting to. I could feel his warmth. His voice changed, and as I heard him read a piece some things began to make sense to me for the very first time.

  “This girl was more than just the usual girl. She wasn’t simple two dimensional prettiness, or enough to catch the eye and draw you into some idle reverie. No way. This girl was more than three dimensional. She was heat and light and sound and taste. She was the Eureka feeling of a new discovery, she was the burst of warm pleasure upon seeing spring trees in blossom. She was the gentle whisper of a forest breeze on a summers day. She was all of these things and much more. And yet I was in the grey and cold while she was in warm and haze of summer. Not because she was cold to me, no, but because she was so beautiful but she just couldn’t enjoy the shine of her own sun. She was so busy running she didn’t look in the mirror. She was so busy fighting, she didn’t know her beauty brought peace.”

  His eyes fell on mine more than once. I felt the audience was disappearing and the gap between us shrinking. I knew Joanna was still there, but she was dimming from my view. I saw only Cody.

  At the end of the reading Cody crossed the floor, parting the crowd as they clapped him. I heard one guy next to me say “clever but a bit too much purple prose for my liking…” and I gave him dagger eyes. Cody reached me. Across his shoulder I saw Joanna Laws, her head arcing up over the crowd until she found us. I watched her eyes widen and her face change as Cody seized me. He hugged me as I sat on the barstool. I hugged him back, and then he pulled back to look at me.

  “All this crap is so surreal, Ashley. I’m so glad you’re here. I was worried that you thought I was…”

  “Having an affair with your agent? That’s none of my business, Cody,” I shrugged, trying to sound matter of fact. But after what I had heard him read that so wasn’t easy. His writing was personal. I was sure his writing was for me.

  “Having an affair? Jeez! That’s exactly it. I’m not having an affair with anyone whatsoever.”

  “Cody,” I softened my voice. “Cody. It’s fine. It’s none of my business. But we are still friends, right? Because I really need a friend right now.”

  He stood a little way back and appraised me. “What happened?”

  “It’s Brandon. Things have changed and I need your help to get away from him…”

  Cody nodded.

  “Of course, Ashley. Remember at the café? You told me everything and I’m telling you everything here. There is no affair.”

  “I saw that kiss, Cody. Please, just be my friend.”

  He was about to say more, but I saw him change his mind. “I’ll always be your friend, Ashley. Don’t ever doubt it.”

  “Good,” I said. I squeezed his arm.

  “Now, I was supposed to be signing books right now. I’d better go. Wait, okay?”

  “Yeah. And you should probably tell Joanna who I am. She looks a little jealous right now.”

  Cody nodded with an awkward smile. “She’s just a friend, Ashley.”

  “A very good one, I’d say,” I said. I tried not to be bitter, but my real feelings may have slipped out. Maybe he regretted things getting as far as they had with her now that I had shown up, or was I simply just flattering myself? Either way, I needed his help and I wasn’t going to be put off by Joanna. Maybe I’d failed in winning Cody’s love, but I certainly needed his help to rebuild my life. In fact, even if you included my own family, I felt Cody was the only one I could trust…

  Nine

  Brandon Lynes sipped from his hip flask and looked at himself in the mirror. In one hand he held a paperback. A photograph of his own fine face was set into a square on the back cover. In his other h
and was a silver hip flask. He looked into the mirror as he read, enjoying the quirks of his face and the timbre of his voice as he rehearsed the sound of different words. Should he lengthen that syllable, or lengthen the final one of the sentence? One way was cool, the other was cooler still. He laughed at himself and remembered the way Ashley mocked him with fondness. When she laughed - back in the earliest days when it seemed like she would love him - it made him melt and filled him with desire all at once. He remembered the playfulness of her laugh. He remembered the way her eyes squinted when she was happy. Then he recalled her softness, and the sweetness of her neck as he nuzzled and the warmth which overcame him as her arms drew him near. Brandon looked at his face in the mirror and his humour faded. He slung the paperback on his bed and left the room.

  In her room Amanda was studying, sitting on her bed surrounded by a mess of study books and novels. She heard the knock and put a pen to her lips and contemplated the visitor. The knock came again, and Amanda stood up from her bed. “Wait a minute,” she said, and swiped her hand across the duvet, dragging the books down the length of her bed until they spilt into the empty tub she kept to store them. She looked into the mirror, especially at her brown eyes, full of hope and sorrow all at the same time. She smiled so hard and she almost believed it. Her face lit up the mirror as if someone had turned on the lights. She teased the string of her vest down over her shoulder, exposing the soft skin. She changed her face to cutesy neutral and went to the door.

  She opened the door and pressed her body to its line, so her curves were emphasised. She had played this game before, and she knew what worked. Brandon stood blinking at her, and then his eyed roamed down her body. He saw the exposed shoulder, leaned and teased some of her hair in his fingers.

  “Look at you, Amanda. Just look at you. You will always be my best girl.”

  Amanda rolled her eyes, hoping Brandon didn’t see the effect his old lines had on her all the same.