Foreign Affairs

by Patricia Scanlan

  ‘Coward,’ Kieran taunted.

  ‘I’ve a suit in the cleaners, it might be ready today. I could wear that if you feel it’s absolutely necessary.’ He grimaced.

  ‘I do,’ Jennifer said firmly, winking at Paula.

  ‘You’re a little dictator,’ Kieran retorted.

  ‘I am,’ Jennifer agreed. ‘And you need a little dictator in your life. That’s why I’m going to help you choose your replacement secretary for when I’m on my maternity leave.’

  Kieran’s jaw dropped. ‘You’re not serious?’ he declared.

  Jennifer nodded.

  ‘When?’

  ‘November.’

  ‘Congratulations, Jenny, I’m delighted for you.’ Kieran stood up and came across to her desk and hugged her. ‘Well that’s a bit of a fib, actually.’ He sighed. ‘You’re not going to leave me, are you? Please, Jenny, don’t leave me. I’ll really get going on this crèche business. I promise. I don’t think I could face getting someone to replace you.’ Jennifer was secretly chuffed that her boss thought so highly of her. She liked working for Kieran and she hadn’t thought about giving up her job. She wasn’t sure if she’d like to stay at home all day. Even Brenda was delighted to be working part-time again.

  ‘I haven’t really thought about it, Kieran,’ she said. ‘But it’s nice to know I’m appreciated.’

  ‘You are, you are,’ he said fervently. ‘Even if you do order me around and make me wear suits.’

  The phone rang. ‘I’ve work to do even if you pair haven’t.’ Jennifer picked up the receiver and took the call.

  Ronan phoned about four that afternoon to say the computer had gone down in the office, there was high drama and he’d probably be late. Paula happened to be in the office when the call came through and, when Jennifer hung up, she suggested they go out for a meal. They hadn’t been out together for ages so they phoned up Beth and made arrangements to meet in Captain America’s later that evening.

  They had a lovely time, gossiping and laughing, and Beth was delighted when she heard Jennifer’s news. ‘I almost feel sorry for you in one way though,’ she said wickedly. ‘I don’t know how you’re going to pick a godmother for this infant.’

  ‘Oh, stop it,’ Jennifer groaned. ‘I suppose it will have to be Brenda. Can you imagine the huff she’ll get into if she isn’t godmother to my first? After all, I’m Claudia’s godmother.’

  ‘Maybe you’ll have twins,’ Paula joked. ‘Ask Kieran to be the godfather and they’ll always get free hol-idays.’

  ‘You’re awful,’ Jennifer scolded. ‘Kieran’s very generous.’

  ‘I know he is,’ Paula agreed. ‘I’m just kidding.’

  After their meal they strolled along to the Shelbourne and relaxed over a drink. Jennifer had soda water and lime. Now that she was pregnant she wasn’t drinking alcohol, and besides she had the car and she never drove and drank. It was relaxing being with the girls and they hardly noticed the evening passing until Paula said with an exclamation of horror, ‘Lord Almighty, it’s gone half eleven and I’m due on the seven a.m. flight to Heathrow in the morning. I’m off to Sardinia for a few days to scout around locations and I haven’t a stitch ready.’

  ‘Lucky you.’ Beth sighed. ‘Surely with all the gorgeous men you meet, there must be someone who’s caught your fancy.’ Paula caught Jennifer’s sympathetic gaze. Only Jennifer knew that Paula was crazy about Nick.

  ‘Men are more trouble than they’re worth,’ Paula said lightly, but her eyes were sad.

  ‘I’d have that kind of trouble any day,’ Beth grimaced. There was no man on her horizon and she was lonely.

  ‘Well if I don’t get home, I’ll be having man trouble.’ Jennifer stood up to go. ‘Beth, are you going to come with me or Paula?’

  ‘I’ll drop her home,’ Paula said. ‘It will save you all the trouble of having to go to Wadelai and back to Drumcondra.’

  ‘OK,’ Jennifer agreed. They walked her to her car and kissed her and wished her a safe journey home. Jennifer started up the engine, glanced in her mirror and slid out into the flow of traffic around Stephen’s Green. She switched on her car radio. Late Date was just starting and she heard Val Joyce’s deep mellifluous tones introducing Dean Martin, singing Memories Are Made of This. Very apt, she thought happily and hummed along. The traffic was light and she reached Drumcondra in less than twelve minutes. She was driving through the Botanic Avenue junction when a car broke the red light. She saw it coming, tried to swerve, but it was too late. Jennifer felt immense terror as she felt the impact of the car and was sent skidding across the road. Her last thought before darkness enveloped her was of her baby.

  Chapter Eighty-Three

  ‘I’m here, Jennifer, you’re all right.’ She could hear Ronan’s voice from a distance. Jennifer felt very peculiar. She opened her eyes, saw Ronan gazing down at her in concern, and closed them again. The world stopped swaying.

  ‘The baby?’ she asked dry-mouthed.

  ‘It’s OK. The two of you are OK.’ Ronan didn’t dare tell Jennifer that the doctors were worried about the baby. She was lucky to be alive and to have escaped relatively lightly from the crash. She had two broken ribs, bruising and concussion. More seriously, she was threatened with a miscarriage.

  ‘Ronan?’ Jennifer started to cry.

  ‘It’s all right, Jennifer,’ he soothed. ‘The doctors and nurses are taking care of you.’ A nurse came, accompanied by a doctor. ‘We have to examine Mrs Stapleton,’ she said gently. ‘You can come back when we’re finished.’

  Ronan nodded and walked through the cubicle curtains. He felt like crying. When he saw Jennifer all bruised and battered he wanted to strangle the drunken driver who’d crashed into her. Kit and Jim were in the waiting-room.

  ‘She’s awake,’ he said tiredly. ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen about the baby.’

  ‘Oh, Ronan, I’m sorry.’ Kit started to cry. Ronan put his arms around his mother-in-law. ‘It could have been worse,’ he said gently. ‘Jennifer could have been killed.’ Jim went and got them coffee and they sat silently, waiting until Ronan was allowed back into the ward.

  He stayed with her as long as he was allowed and begged the nurse to let Kit and Jim say goodnight to Jennifer.

  ‘Only for a minute,’ the nurse warned. After Kit and Jim had kissed her tenderly and told her not to worry, he brought his parents-in-law home. They made him stay the night with them. He lay in Jennifer’s old bed but he could not sleep. All he could think of was the moment when he opened his front door to find a policeman standing on his doorstep with the news that Jennifer had been in a car crash.

  Ronan started to cry. If anything happened to Jennifer he’d never get over it. She was his rock. His life revolved around her. ‘Please, God, take care of Jenny and let our baby be all right,’ he prayed earnestly, wishing the night was over so that he could be with her.

  She was the most beautiful baby Jennifer had ever seen. It was Danielle lying in her arms. She had big blue eyes and long black lashes and a downy head of dark hair, a little button nose and a perfect rosebud mouth. Jennifer felt utterly serene as she held her baby. It was as if they could read each other’s minds.

  I’m your baby, I’m Danielle.

  I know, my darling. I love you.

  I love you too. Don’t be sad. I’ll always be with you.

  Jennifer gazed into her daughter’s bright blue eyes. The love she felt for her overwhelmed her. All that night she held her daughter in her arms until just before dawn when the baby closed her eyes and Jennifer felt a terrible grief. She woke with a start and knew her baby was dead. Some time later she began to miscarry.

  ‘She was beautiful, she came to say goodbye to me. She stayed with me all night. She just lay in my arms looking at me and I knew what was in her mind and she knew what was in mine.’ Jennifer sobbed against Ronan’s shoulder. ‘I’ll never forget her eyes, Ronan. Oh my baby! My beautiful, beautiful little baby.’ Jennifer clung to Ronan, who tried h
is best to comfort her. She had obviously been hallucinating from the drugs they’d given her. But if it comforted Jenny to think the baby had come to her, he wasn’t going to say otherwise.

  Jennifer leaned against Ronan and felt his strength. They’d have another baby, she knew it. But no child would ever be as precious as her little blue-eyed daughter who’d come to her in the night and said goodbye.

  Chapter Eighty-Four

  ‘Can I have a word with you, Rachel?’ Noreen knocked on the bedroom door. Rachel’s heart sank. Not another loan. Noreen was always the same, borrowing and conveniently forgetting to pay it back. It wasn’t only money she borrowed. She constantly ‘borrowed’ from Rachel’s wardrobe and used her make-up. It was very irritating.

  Rachel felt ghastly. She wasn’t in the mood for Noreen. She had laryngitis and tonsillitis. The antibiotics she was taking made her feel sick. She was out on a Cert for a week. She wouldn’t be back to work until after Easter, but already she was fed up being on her own in the house every day. Still, she’d rather be on her own than have to listen to Noreen rabbiting on.

  ‘Rachel, are you awake?’ Noreen called.

  ‘Yeah, come in,’ she croaked.

  Noreen peered around the door. ‘I won’t come right in,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to catch anything.’

  Typical, thought Rachel. Her landlady was not the most sympathetic of characters.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Rachel asked.

  ‘Well I know you probably won’t be too happy about it but I’m selling the house. I’ve got a visa, I’m going to the States.’

  Rachel was gobsmacked. ‘Oh,’ she said inadequately. ‘Oh . . . fine.’

  ‘I thought I’d better let you know, so you can start looking for another place. Or maybe you could go home for a while. The sign is going up tomorrow and the auctioneer expects a quick sale,’ Noreen said briskly. ‘I’m off now, I’m going to Wexford for the weekend. I hope you’ll be feeling better. See ya.’

  ‘See you,’ Rachel murmured. She lay back against the pillows and let the news sink in. Now that it had come to it, she wasn’t dreadfully sorry to hear that Noreen was selling. It meant that she was going to have to get up off her butt and get a place of her own.

  She had more than enough in her building society for a mortgage but she had made no move to get a place of her own. My trouble, Rachel thought crossly, is that I don’t like hassle. She pulled the duvet up under her chin and wished Noreen had not made her disturbing announcement. She was just going to have to endure a bit of hassle and that was all there was about it. Rachel felt glum at the thought. If anyone had told her she’d still be sharing with Noreen and still be teaching in St Catherine’s after four years, she wouldn’t have believed it.

  After she left home she’d scuttled under the nearest rock she could find and stayed there. Well her rock was gone, she was out in the open now. She was going to have to sink or swim. One thing was certain, she was not going back to Rathbarry.

  Rachel got up out of bed and wrapped her dressing-gown around her. She was just as glad that she had the house to herself. At least she wouldn’t have to listen to Van Morrison caterwauling all weekend. Noreen played him non-stop as loud as she dared. The neighbours had complained several times.

  The sitting-room looked as if a bomb had hit it. The kitchen was even worse. Noreen was dead lazy about the house. But then, she had a lodger to run around after her, Rachel thought wryly. She was sick of it, Rachel decided as she tipped a brimming ashtray into the fireplace.

  Not that she had any sympathy for herself. She needn’t have stayed once she’d got to know what Noreen was like. She had every opportunity to go and get her own place. She was earning good money. There were plenty of houses for sale. She was just a lazy coward, Rachel chastised herself.

  She tidied up the sitting-room, set the fire, lit it and made herself a cup of tea and buttered some cream crackers. Then she picked up the evening paper that Noreen had stuffed down the side of the chair. Rachel turned to the property pages and perused them with interest. She was doing sums in her head when the phone rang. It was Ronan to tell her that Jennifer had had an accident and was in danger of losing the baby. Rachel didn’t hesitate.

  ‘I’ll be up in two hours,’ she promised. ‘I’ll just pack a bag.’ She raced around the place trying to get herself organized. ‘Stop panicking, Jennifer needs you,’ she muttered as she let her antibiotics fall. She damped down the fire and put the fireguard up. Her cup and plate lay where she’d left them. Rachel switched off the light and closed the door. For once she was going to leave her dishes. The sitting-room was a damn sight tidier than when Noreen had left it, even with a dirty cup and saucer on the floor.

  Rachel put her bag in the boot, put her foot on the accelerator and drove as fast as she could to Dublin. She had decisions to make, she knew, but right now Jennifer was her priority. Her sister-in-law had always been very good to her. Now she might be able to do something to repay that kindness. It was the least she could do. Maybe when she was in Dublin she would see a house she liked. There was nothing written in stone to say she had to live in Bray for the rest of her life.

  Chapter Eighty-Five

  The party was in full swing. She’d been a director of TransCon for a year now and Paula had decided it was time she bought a place of her own. She’d looked at houses, and mews and apartments. She knew what she wanted. A place with all mod cons, easy to maintain, near enough to the office and the airport.

  ‘I suppose now that you’re a director, you’ll be heading for Dublin 4,’ Jenny had teased her, but Paula wasn’t going to spend hours stuck in traffic so that she could have a posh postal address. In the end she’d bought a two-bedroom apartment not far from her rented one. It was in a small exclusive complex off Griffith Avenue, near enough to where she’d lived with Helen all those years ago.

  It was on the top floor of a three-floor block. Her sitting-room looked south to the mountains. Paula decorated the apartment in light warm pastel colours. Her kitchen was pine. She bought a pine dresser like her mother had. It made her think of home. But that was where the resemblance ended. Paula’s fitted kitchen was as modern as could be. She had a small utility room off it for the washing-machine, tumble-drier and ironing board. The lounge was bright and spacious. She kept it uncluttered, with just two huge plush sofas at right angles to the fire and a low marble-topped coffee table in between them. She used apricot and cream colours. It was a warm welcoming room in winter and cool and airy in summer. French doors led to a tiled south-facing balcony that ran the length of the apartment. A small alcove off the lounge opened out into a dining area. She had shelves built on the back wall and kept all her books and records and CDs neatly stacked. In front of them was a round oak table and six chairs which matched her fitted shelves.

  The master bedroom was en suite, and Paula decorated it tastefully in peach and green. Huge mirrored wardrobes gave an impression of space, and the deep-pile pale green carpet gave the room a rich luxurious air. Patterned peach curtains matched the colour of the bedspread. The tie-backs and pelmet were trimmed with green. Kieran asked her jokingly if she thought she was Joan Collins, when he saw the bedroom. Paula endured the teasing. She’d earned her little bit of luxury. The guest-room had two divans covered in pretty pink chintz bedspreads which matched the curtains. Nicola called it her room and had stayed on ‘holidays’ several times.

  Paula had kept meaning to have a house-warming party. But as usual she’d been up to her eyes. Christmas came and went. The current brochure was out on time and things eased off. Just before the beginning of the new season at Easter, there’d been a lull in her pace of life and she finally decided to have a hooley.

  Hooley was the right word for it, Paula smiled to herself, as she listened to the hum of conversation and laughter filling her home. Ronan was teasing Jenny about something, trying to cheer her up. Jenny was still terribly pale after the accident and miscarriage, Paula noted as she walked around with a plate
of hors d’oeuvres. Paula was doing her best to try and get her friend’s spirits up. But she understood her need to grieve. It was a worry, though.

  Beth was chatting away to Kieran, who caught Paula’s eye and smiled. He had not married Tina and was not dating anyone. Rachel was laughing at something Hugh, Paula’s neighbour from across the landing, was telling her. The girls from the office were flirting with Paul, Dermot and Donald, three gorgeous detectives who shared a downstairs apartment.

  ‘I wonder what ever happened to Green Car and Co?’ Jenny grinned after Paula introduced them. Paula smiled, remembering their innocent teenage infatuation. So much had happened to herself and her best friends since then. Life had been easy when she was young. She’d had no complications to trouble her. She glanced around the crowded room looking for Helen and Nick. They were kissing in the alcove. Pain darkened her eyes. Paula bit her lip and walked back towards the kitchen, unaware that Kieran was watching her. A shocked expression on his face.

  Don’t think about it now, she told herself fiercely as she tossed the salad she was serving with the enormous cold buffet she’d prepared with Jenny’s help.

  She carried it in to the dining table and said brightly, ‘Come and get it.’ The hordes descended on the food and there was much laughter and oohing and aahing as the guests tucked in with delight.

  ‘Great party,’ her friend Gwen assured her. This was a compliment indeed. Gwen partied the world over, from Australia to America. It was a way of life and she lived life to the full. The air hostess was looking like a million dollars in a clinging black dress which showed off her every curve. There’d been no need for her to bring Häagen-Dazs from America this time. The ice cream was on sale in Ireland now and several large cartons of the rich creamy concoction had gone into the making of two huge baked Alaskas that Paula was serving for dessert.

  It was after three in the morning before the final guests left. Helen and Nick were staying the night. Nicola was staying at a friend’s house and Paula impulsively insisted they sleep in her room. She’d sleep in one of the divans. Jenny, Beth and Rachel had offered to stay and help tidy up but Kieran had told them to go home. He was washing up.