Foreign Affairs

by Patricia Scanlan

  ‘Brenda, you’ve got to stop looking at other people and comparing your life to theirs . . . It doesn’t work like that. You’ll never be happy,’ Jennifer insisted. ‘You look at Paula and think she has a wonderful life. On the surface it looks like that but, believe me, Paula has suffered a great deal, especially recently, over something very personal. Her emotional life is a shambles.’

  ‘Is it?’ Brenda was astonished.

  ‘Yes, Bren, it is. Everyone has their own private problems. Don’t ever envy anyone. You don’t know what they’ve suffered. None of the three of us knew you were in bits, did we?’ Jennifer arched an eyebrow. ‘You put on a brave front just as Paula does, and I do, and Rachel does. So don’t compare. It only makes you dissatisfied.’

  ‘I suppose Paula thinks I’m an out-and-out bitch, Brenda said sheepishly.

  ‘No, she doesn’t. She’s feeling sorry for you at the moment,’ Jennifer said reassuringly.

  ‘I suppose I’d better go down and apologize.’

  ‘We all said things in the heat of the moment.’ Jennifer grinned. ‘A jumped-up little scrubber and a born-again virgin were two of your better ones, I have to say.’

  Brenda laughed in spite of herself. ‘Mam told me I had a sharp tongue, and she was right,’ she said ruefully. ‘Will Paula talk to me again, do you think?’

  ‘Of course she will. Come on,’ she urged. ‘We’ve only three days left. Let’s enjoy them, have a bit of a laugh.’ They walked down the stairs together.

  Paula stood up when she saw them coming. ‘I’m sorry Brenda. I didn’t realize you were under pressure,’ she said immediately.

  ‘I’m sorry too,’ Brenda said. Her lip trembled and her voice was wobbly.

  ‘Aw, come on.’ Paula gave her a hug. ‘Let’s forget it all and make the most of our last few days. Come on, lie down on the lounger and put on some high factor cream. I’ll bring you out a nice cold drink and a slice of watermelon. Tonight the four of us will go and have a girls’ night out in Corfu. What do you say to that?’

  ‘It sounds great.’ Brenda gave a shaky grin.

  ‘What sounds great?’ Rachel appeared, looking bright-eyed and bubbly.

  ‘We’ll tell you when you’ve told us all about your date,’ Paula teased.

  Rachel blushed.

  ‘Did you see that?’ Jennifer grinned. ‘Bring us all a drink, Paula, and we’ll sit down and hear all about it.’

  Five minutes later Paula appeared with four frosted glasses on a tray and a packet of Club Milks.

  ‘I just put a little drop of Malibu in yours,’ she said to Brenda. ‘Now Madame,’ she handed Rachel her glass, ‘begin from the beginning.’

  ‘I have to meet him for lunch at one-thirty,’ Rachel protested. ‘I’d better go and get ready.’

  ‘You’ll be ready,’ Paula said.

  ‘He’s coming to visit me in Dublin if I get a place of my own. He told me he’d do all my carpentry work.’ Rachel smiled.

  ‘When you get a place in Dublin,’ Jennifer interjected.

  ‘I’ve been thinking about that.’ Paula eyed Rachel as she sipped her drink. ‘I’m going to be doing a lot of travelling soon. Because, although he doesn’t know it yet, Kieran Donnelly is going to expand Holiday Villa to the Caribbean and the West Indies. I’ll be telling him so when I get back.’ She smiled at Jennifer, who gave her the thumbs-up sign. ‘The thing is, my apartment will be empty for a lot of the time. So why don’t you use it as a base when you get a job in Dublin, until you’ve found a place of your own? It will give you time to look around. You won’t be under pressure to buy the first place you see,’ she suggested.

  Rachel stared at her. ‘I don’t know what to say.’ She was flabbergasted.

  ‘Say yes,’ Paula said briskly.

  ‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’ Rachel was ecstatic. She knew beyond any doubt, now, that she was going to leave Bray and find a job in Dublin. How could she not after an offer like that?

  Paula turned to Brenda. ‘You worked on computers, didn’t you, Brenda?’ she said casually.

  ‘Yeah.’ Brenda nodded.

  ‘Well it’s just a thought,’ she said airily. ‘Kieran’s getting a crèche organized at work and if Holiday Villa expands to the Caribbean and the West Indies, I’m going to need more staff. I could take on part-timers and job-sharers and see how it works out. If you could bear to put up with me as a boss, we might be able to work something out. You’d get travel perks too.’

  Brenda was speechless.

  ‘I wouldn’t be in the office most of the time. It’s very much a team thing in TransCon, isn’t it, Jenny? We don’t go in for bosses much nowadays. Compared to the days of Jolly Johnson.’ She grinned at Jennifer.

  Jennifer laughed. ‘True,’ she admitted. ‘I end up ordering Kieran about rather than the other way around.’ She could have hugged Paula for her kindness.

  ‘But, Paula, after all the things I said to you. How can you turn around and offer me a job? We’ve never got on.’ Brenda couldn’t figure it out.

  Paula laughed. ‘There’s a first time for everything, Brenda. Besides, your hormones are awry at the moment. Let’s just say I like a challenge.’ She glanced at Jennifer. ‘Or so your sister tells me. What a challenge it would be for us to get on. And for you to feel you were achieving something. It could all end in tears, of course. We won’t know until we try, will we? We can always do a trial period.’

  ‘When do I start?’ Brenda asked.

  ‘It’s going to take me a good while to get organized, that’s if Kieran agrees to this, but I think he will,’ Paula said confidently. ‘We certainly won’t be selling holidays until next year. You can wait until after the baby’s born, if you like.’

  ‘I’d like to be in on it from the beginning, if possible. I’d like to be involved.’ Brenda sat up straight and stared at Paula. ‘I’d like to help you make a go of it. I can work mornings.’

  Paula stared back at the woman who had always been so prickly with her and so jealous of her friendship with Jenny. It could end in tears, but somehow she had a feeling it wouldn’t. ‘I’d like to help you make a go of it,’ Brenda had said. That was good enough for her.

  ‘As soon as I can get the go-ahead from Kieran I’ll be knocking on your door,’ Paula said firmly.

  ‘Right,’ Brenda said. ‘You’re on. Pass me the Club Milks, please.’

  ‘Are you expecting a baby, Brenda?’ Rachel asked in surprise.

  ‘Yes, I am.’ Brenda nodded.

  ‘Congratulations and the best of luck,’ Rachel said warmly.

  ‘Thanks, Rachel,’ Brenda said, catching Jennifer’s eye.

  Jennifer gave her a little smile and a wink. ‘If Kieran’s organizing this crèche, I’d better get Ronan on the job when I get home. It would be nice to have two little cousins in it together,’ she said lightly.

  ‘Good thinking,’ Paula approved. ‘Rachel, I think your lunch date has arrived.’

  Rachel gave a little shriek. ‘Look at the state of me, I haven’t a bit of lipstick on or anything.’

  ‘You look great,’ Jennifer declared.

  ‘Go get him.’ Paula grinned.

  ‘Enjoy yourself but don’t eat too much. We’re having a girls’ night out tonight,’ Brenda told her.

  ‘I won’t. See you later,’ Rachel called back as she started to walk across the olive grove to meet Ken.

  The rest of the day passed lazily by. The housekeeper gave them a delicious lunch of Avgato, a Greek omelette, which she served with a feta cheese salad.

  Paula phoned Helen, who was delighted to hear from her, and was anxious to hear how the holiday was going and wanted to know when she would be back. Brenda phoned Yiannis to tell him that she was going out that night, and the rest of the nights, with the girls. She would not be seeing him any more, she told him regretfully. He was not pleased. Brenda wouldn’t have minded seeing him again. The sex had been very satisfying. But after the events of the day, she felt it might not be the wisest thing. />
  They swam and read and chatted lazily by the pool. Rachel arrived home around four bearing a beautiful carved wooden horse. A gift from Ken. She was thrilled with herself and had his name and address and telephone number safely tucked away in her bag.

  There was a great air of jollity around the villa that evening, as the four of them prepared for their night out. All the tensions and undercurrents were gone. Enjoyment was the order of the day. Brenda drove, as she’d decided not to drink any more, because of her pregnancy. They shopped for presents. Brenda bought Shay a beautiful leather belt and tie. Jennifer did the same for Ronan. And, after some consideration, Paula did the same for Kieran. He deserved it. Rachel bought more crockery, amid much teasing. Starving after their spending spree, they trooped into a restaurant called Mezadakia, that served the most mouth-watering array of ‘mezes’ dishes, which left them stuffed to the gills. They lingered over coffee and indulged in a truly satisfying gossip. Then they went to a night club and danced and flirted and had great fun.

  When they got home, Jennifer made more coffee and they all sat on the terrace laughing and chatting until the early hours. A day that had started off so disastrously had ended up delightfully. The four of them went to bed feeling much happier than at any time during the past week.

  ‘Why did you do that for Brenda?’ Jennifer asked as they got undressed.

  ‘It was a bit impulsive, to be honest.’ Paula grinned. ‘I don’t know if it will work out. It was just that she looked so miserable when she told you she was pregnant. In spite of everything I felt sorry for her. All we can do is give it a try.’

  ‘You always tell me I’m a softie,’ scoffed Jennifer. ‘Brenda was very taken with the idea, though. She’s determined to see it through.’

  ‘It could work very well,’ Paula said.

  ‘And you’ve sorted Rachel out.’ Jennifer smiled.

  ‘Look, Jenny, she’s got to get out of Bray, it’s a disaster for her. She does nothing there. At least if she moves up to Dublin she can socialize with us and have a bit of fun.’ Paula got into bed and stretched languorously.

  ‘And are you sorted out?’ Jennifer asked softly.

  ‘More than I was when I came here.’ Paula gave a little smile. ‘You were right. I have wasted a lot of time. It’s time to move on and stop clinging to a dream.’ She turned to look at Jennifer. ‘Are you OK?’

  Jennifer nodded. ‘As long as I’ve got Ronan I’ll always be OK. I can’t wait to get home to him. And I want to try for another baby as soon as possible.’

  ‘I think you’re right, Jenny. I’m glad you feel like that.’ She yawned. ‘All in all then, you could say the holiday’s been a success all round despite a very shaky start.’

  ‘I think you’re absolutely right, Paula.’ Jennifer switched out the light and smiled in the dark. ‘In spite of rows, affairs and a rainy day, it hasn’t been a bad holiday after all and the great thing is, it’s not over yet.’

  Epilogue

  Rachel gazed down at her tan and wondered if it had faded. The nearer she got to home, the lighter her colour seemed. When she’d been dressing in the villa that evening, she’d looked golden brown in the mirror. They’d all stayed out in the sun for as long as they could before it was time to dress and leave. She sighed happily. It had been a wonderful holiday. Especially the last few days, when everyone seemed in much better form and there was lots of laughter and good humour.

  She thought of Ken and a smile came to her lips. It had been a lovely surprise when he’d presented her with the carved wooden horse at lunch. She’d been very touched to think that he’d gone to the trouble of buying it for her. She looked forward very much to his proposed visit. The minute she got home, she was going to try for a job in Dublin. Whether she got one or not, she was going to take up Paula’s offer of moving into the apartment. Noreen wanted to sell the house. Well she could sell it. But Rachel wasn’t going to hang around while she did it. She’d made up her mind, she was going to commute to school from Dublin. If she didn’t feel like driving she could always take the DART. By next week she would be installed in Paula’s apartment.

  Paula had told her she could move in as soon as she liked. Not that she intended staying there for ever, either, Rachel told herself sternly. She would get a place of her own and be independent. And start to have fun. Jennifer had suggested that the four of them should meet once a month and go for a meal or a drink. They all thought it was a terrific idea.

  Rachel felt full of energy and anticipation. She couldn’t wait to move out of Noreen’s. Jennifer, Brenda and Paula had offered to help move her stuff. They were as pleased for her as she was for herself. She felt warmed by their affection. Having friends was a wonderful thing. Brenda had invited her to visit any time and she would. There was something lonely about Brenda, although she seemed very gregarious. Brenda often looked at Paula and Jennifer when they were sharing a joke or chatting together and Rachel knew Brenda felt a bit left out. Paula and Jenny never noticed. It was not deliberate. They just didn’t realize it.

  Rachel understood. She empathised with Brenda. How often had she felt left out of things? She remembered the loneliness of her schooldays when she’d been the outsider standing on the edge of the precious circle that all were not allowed to join. Still, Brenda was much more cheerful now. The last few days had been very healing. All the horrible tensions had gone. Brenda and Jenny seemed much closer. They’d all decided at dinner last night to go away for a weekend together, sometime before Brenda’s baby was born, because they’d had such a nice time these last few days.

  Rachel peered out the window of the 737 and saw the south coast of Ireland come into view. There was so much to look forward to and so much to do. She couldn’t wait to get started.

  Brenda sucked a barley sugar to stop her ears from popping. It wouldn’t be long now, she comforted herself. Jennifer, who was sitting beside her, asked her if she was all right.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she smiled and gave her sister’s hand a little squeeze. Jennifer smiled and squeezed back. Brenda sat back in her seat as the plane steadily descended. It was hard to believe the holiday was finally over. They’d had such fun the last few days. It had all turned out well in the end. She couldn’t believe that she was going to work for Paula Matthews . . . and that she was looking forward to it. Paula had been a revelation to her. As long as she’d known her, Brenda had always felt the other girl was a snooty know-it-all. She’d felt jealous of her and Jenny’s friendship. The holiday had changed all that, when Brenda broke down and told them she was pregnant. Paula had been extremely kind to her after that. She’d brought Brenda tea and coffee and cold drinks, whatever she wanted, as she lay by the pool, and told her she was to lie back and make the most of it. ‘You’ll have three kids and Shay looking for attention when you get back, so lie back there and enjoy being waited on.’

  They’d all been very good to her, fussing over her. Brenda had revelled in it. She felt much better too after the talk she’d had with Jenny. At least she didn’t have to pretend to be ecstatically happy about being pregnant. Jenny understood. They’d gone for a walk on the beach the previous evening, just the two of them. Brenda really enjoyed it. The new closeness was very important to her. It helped lift her spirits. She didn’t feel as gloomy at all now, despite the pregnancy. Jennifer told her she’d babysit for her once a fortnight so she and Shay could have a night out. Brenda appreciated it. And she wouldn’t take advantage, she told herself firmly.

  She was a bit nervous about the job. She didn’t want to make a show of herself in front of Paula. That was one of the reasons she’d asked to be involved from the very beginning. The more she knew about the whole operation the better. It would be very different from being a minion in Bugs Bunny’s boring office. But it would be demanding and exciting. And she’d have much more in common with Jenny and Paula. She might even treat herself to a briefcase, she thought with a smile.

  She rooted in her bag for another sweet and saw the big bottl
e of White Linen she’d bought for Kit. It was a peace-offering. She owed her mother an apology. She regretted her nasty remark. She’d bought Shay a bottle of brandy as well as his belt and tie. She’d always have her memories of Yiannis and her exotic little foreign affair, but Shay was a good old stick and she knew in her heart and soul that she was lucky to have such a tolerant husband, even if it was his fault she was pregnant.

  Brenda sighed. It would be nice if the baby was a boy. It would be good for John to have a brother. But this child was definitely the last one. Perhaps she’d try and persuade Shay to have the snip. It would take the worry out of sex and make life a lot less complicated.

  The plane flew along the Wicklow coast. She could make out Brittas Bay over Rachel’s shoulder. Soon she’d be home. And the holiday would be like a dream. But at least she wasn’t going home to her rut. She had a new job to look forward to. And a closer and warmer relationship with Jenny. That was the best thing to come out of the holiday, Brenda decided. Being close to her sister meant a lot.

  Jennifer was dying to get home. She’d missed Ronan terribly. Even though she had enjoyed the last few days of the holiday enormously, she was glad to be on the plane back to Dublin. She had to admit though, she was in a much more positive frame of mind than when she’d left. Those last few days had been very therapeutic. She’d really relaxed and made the most of it. Physically she felt much more like her old self. Her bruises were practically gone. Her ribs weren’t sore any more. Her appetite had come back and that empty scared hollow feeling was gone. She would never stop mourning her baby. No child to come would replace Danielle. How vividly she could conjure up the beautiful little face of the child who had visited her the night of her miscarriage. She knew Ronan felt she’d been hallucinating because of the drugs they’d given her. But Jennifer knew her baby had come to her to say goodbye. She would derive comfort from that thought as long as she lived. Jennifer wondered would she get pregnant easily. It would be nice to be pregnant at the same time as Brenda.