Tales From a Second Hand Wand Shop- Book 1: They Were the Best of Gnomes. They Were the Worst of Gnomes.

by Robert P. Wills

Chapter Thirty-Two(ish)

  Wherein Akita Disposes Grimbledung’s Body

  “Grimbledung!” Shouted Drimblerod as he rushed to his crumpled partner.

  RatShambler was still facing out on the street and had not seen what had occurred. “Tell Grim that any time he feels like changing me back would be fine by me. Oh, and the Constable said he’d be coming back to collect on these tickets. He should be by any minute now.”

  ‘SHUT UP, RAT!” Howled Drimblerod as he tilted up his partner’s lifeless head.

  What’s going on in there?” Asked RatShambler.

  “YOU KILLED GRIMBLEDUNG!” Drimblerod stood and turned towards the door. “You stupid rat! You killed him!”

  “What?” Asked RatShambler, “How’d I kill him? I’ve been out here all night long.” He maneuvered the wagon around so he could look into the shop. Curses from the street came into the store as the wagon blocked even more of the traffic. “What happened?” He asked as he looked at the crumbled Gnome. “What happened to Grim?”

  Drimblerod stalked up to RatShambler, “You kicked him, you idiot. You kicked him and killed him. And the Constable is on his way here.” He looked down at his dead partner, “And you have no one who can change you back.” He raised his wand and aimed it between RatShambler’s eyes. It flashed menacingly. “Not that you need to worry about that now.” The wand cracked like thunder as a lightning bolt sprang from it and struck RatShambler neatly between the eyes. The bolt continued through RatShambler’s head and across the street, charring a lamp post. It fell to the ground as bits of cinder. Drimblerod glared at RatShambler as the hole in his head quickly began to close in on itself.

  “That hurts you know.”

  “So does killing my partner and friend!”

  “Someone’s gonna pay for that lamp post” said Akita as he stepped past RatShambler into the doorway. “And ya better not discharge that wand on the strrrreet again or I’ll fine ya somethin’ fierce for that as well.” Akita watched as the hole in RatShambler’s head sealed itself up. There was not even a discoloration to show that a substantial hole had been blasted there moments before. “Interestin’,” he commented.

  “Constable Akita!” Drimblerod said worriedly. “Why don’t we talk out in the street.” He moved to block the Constable’s view of the store.

  “And that’s how you ask a lawman in.” Said Akita as he pushed past the Gnome into the store. He quickly surveyed the store and stopped as his gaze fell on the heap that was Grimbledung. “What’s goin on here?” He growled.

  “It was an accident!” Wailed RatShambler, “It wasn’t my fault!”

  “And that’s how you confess to a lawman.” He looked RatShambler up and down. “What happened to the Gnome?”

  “I DON’T KNOW! I wasn’t even looking when it happened.” RatShambler pondered recent events, “Perhaps I kicked him while I was kicking the door.”

  “That was when I came by the first time. ‘Cause of the racket.” He bared his teeth. He had been still asleep when some pesky citizen had pounded on his door. “Ya got a ticket for that,” he narrowed his eyes, “ya kept doin’ it after I left?”

  RatShambler blinked at the Constable. “But I wanted to get in and no one was answering and I....”

  The Constable turned away from the beast to face the other Gnome; that was all the confession he needed. “So what’r you going to do with him?” He asked. “Anyone we need to tell?”

  Drimblerod paused. He had no idea, really, of Grimbledung’s past- family, associates. Nothing. “I have no idea if he had family.” Tears welled up in his eyes, “I guess I didn’t really know him at all.” Drimblerod, completely at a loss of what do it, began to cry.

  Akita shook his head, tongue waggling back and forth. “That’s not gonna help him out any. Arrrre ya gonna doing anything more productive than that?” Akita, with many years as a Constable behind him, had dealt with many deaths and, overall, felt sorry for the loss the people felt. He remembered when his own mother had died; he was inconsolable and went on a month-long tear. It had made the parchments for the better part of the month: “BEWARE- Mad Werewolf on the Loose!” They had proclaimed. “Rum Running Short in Cool Springs,” and finally by the last week, “Orcs Request Special Council Meeting- Town’s Becoming Too Rough For Them”

  “This is all that comes to mind” sobbed Drimblerod.

  “So that there Gnome was kicked then.” Akita moved over to the body and appraised it. “No magicin’ then?”

  RatShambler, now also tearing up answered for the sobbing Gnome, “No, that’s it. I kicked him I suppose.” Tears began to roll down his long face, “Take me away I suppose. That’s what I deserve for killing such a nice Gnome. I suppose.”30

  Akita growled deep in his throat. “Yerrrr all hopeless.” He brandished a twisted wand- a Unicorn Horn- and aimed it at Grimbledung’s body, “And useless.” He barked something that may have been an incantation, or may have just simply been a bark. He jabbed the wand at the dead Gnome. In a flash of light, the body was gone. Only his wand remained.

  Drimblerod stopped crying and looked where Grimbledung’s remains had been only a moment ago. He jumped to his feet angrily, “What’d you do to him you dog!” He closed the gap between them quickly and looked up at the Constable. Both still had their wands out. “What’d you do with my friend!” He demanded.

  Akita took a step back. Grief often gave people more courage than any potion ever could. It also often removed any and all common sense. He planned on ignoring the ‘dog’ comment unless it was made again. “Take it easy, Mister Axebreath.” He said, making sure he enunciated every word clearly. Growls now could make the entire situation spiral out of control. “Really. I took care of your friend in the best way possible,” he said as he backed away from the door. His wand was at his side but ready for action. He kept his eyes on the Gnome’s wand as he backed out of the shop. “He’ll be taken care of.” As he got to the door he glanced at RatShambler, “We’re gonna have to talk later, you and me.”

  RatShambler sighed. “I’ll be in town, Constable,” he replied, even though he was already mentally going over the benefits and drawbacks of joining either a spice or a silk caravan.

  Drimblerod took a step towards the door, “Where’d you send him?” He sniffed. “Sorry about the ‘dog’, Akita,” he added sadly. “Really I am. Uncalled for.”

  Akita shook his furry shoulders. “He’s dead and not by magic. I sent him to the best place for that.”

  Drimblerod narrowed his eyes. “Where to, Akita?” He began to raise his wand.

  “The morgue, of course.” With that he backed around the corner and loped off. Quickly.