Tales From a Second Hand Wand Shop- Book 1: They Were the Best of Gnomes. They Were the Worst of Gnomes.
Page 78
Chapter Forty-Four
InTerN Mission; Failure
Corporal Colossus stood on the hill outside of Aution. The fully ablaze Aution. He felt as hot as the flames he was watching. “Any sign of them?” He called again. He had his men spread out along the top of the hill in an effort to spot his compatriots.
After several long minutes, one of the Halflings spied Corporal Gigantus and his squad as they filed out of town. “I see them!” He called triumphantly, “On the northern edge of town!” He pointed to assist his Corporal to see where they were.
Corporal Colossus moved beside his man, “Good work, Mountainous. Go let them know where we are.”
With that the private took off towards the line of Halflings, waving as he went. Colossus turned and scowled at the remaining Halflings, “Anyone have any word on who started the fire?”
The second in command Halfling spoke up, “No one from our group did it, Corporal. Maybe it was the Intel Squad. It’s always dangerous when you take Intel Folk and put them out in the wilds.” The other Halflings murmured their approval. Whenever something went wrong -justified or not- it was the Intel Halflings that were to blame. It was not mere coincidence that their banner had an old grey Scape Goat on it. The ‘Goat of Knowledge’ the Intel Folk reverently called it. Everyone else knew the real reason.
“If it was them. They better hope none of them made it out of town.” Corporal Colossus said to no one in particular. He turned and watched as his troop finally caught the attention of the other squad. As he reached the head of the column they seemed to exchange words. Then he saw that Halfling punch his Halfling in the head. The group marched past the now unconscious Mountainous. “Well, well; Corporal Gigantus, you made it out as well.” As they came, he counted the Halflings behind him, “And with all your men.” Losing men in battle meant they weren’t around to discipline later. If one was going to lose a battle, one should at least have the satisfaction of Criminal Incompetence Assessment (CIA) proceedings. Blaming the Intel Folks was fun, but could grow tedious after a while. Having a CIA to kick around fresh blood solved that.
Finally, Corporal Gigantus and his men reached the top of the hill.
“Any news on who started the fire?” Colossus asked.
“Oh, I know who started it. That I know for a fact.”
Corporal Colossus raised an eyebrow at his fellow Corporal, “Who?”
“It was this Gnome. This crazy Gnome. We were at the Jamboree, having a pretty good time honestly, when he started it.” Corporal Gigantus got a far-away look in his eye, “I’d swear he was half Halfling with how he acted. Right there in the middle of the entire town, innocents everywhere, he started the blaze. Panic ensued. People were trampled.” He looked at Corporal Colossus, “It was glorious.”
Corporal Colossus shoved his fellow Corporal. “GLORIOUS? Some Gnome burned the town to the ground instead of us and you think it’s glorious? Wait till the Lord High Priest hears this.” He shuddered involuntarily, “You won’t think it was glorious then.” There was a CIA in his future, and it would leave a bad taste in his mouth. There was no avoiding it; that’s just what a CIA did.40
“Only if he finds out,” offered Gigantus, “if we get to this Gnome first and shut him up. No one will be the wiser.”
The two Halflings turned and watched as Aution burned. “Fine. Fine. We’ll find that Gnome and he’ll be sorry he ever crossed a Halfling,” said Corporal Colossus.