Lonely Souls

by Karice Bolton

  “What are you smiling at?” he asked.

  “Oh! Nothing, just how much I’ve learned,” I replied, beyond embarrassed and somewhat paranoid that he knew what I was thinking; thankfully, that was impossible. It was just my transparent facial expressions giving away my ecstasy.

  “You know all these scary, fiery spells are great, but I think I need to teach you a thing or two as well,” I said, trying to shift the focus off of me.

  “Oh yeah?” his voice was low and full of intrigue. He dropped his arms back to his sides, and I could once again focus.

  “Let’s say you use your little ‘be still’ spell, and they free early and zap you? If you had me by your side, I could heal you.” My voice was a little haughty, and I liked the extra punch it provided.

  “Good point, Triss.” His grin was wide. “I will be sure to sign up for the first class you’re willing to give on that subject matter. Will they be private lessons?”

  “Most certainly,” I teased.

  “You are something else, Triss.” Logan was laughing now and a little bit of anger started to stir inside of me.

  I wasn’t being funny. I could play his game too, but why was he laughing? I was being coy.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “I’m surprised by how little you’ve changed. That’s all.” His eyes met mine, and thrilling sensations began zipping through my body. How could he do that to me off of just one look? I didn’t seem to have that same effect on him, and it bothered me. I have very much changed since he saw me last. That’s a really cruel thing to say, like I’m just stunted mentally or something.

  I looked away, but he did not. I could feel his gaze penetrating through me.

  “You can dish it but not take it, huh?” He walked over to his pack and started searching for something.

  I did my best to ignore him, but I really didn’t want to. He was far too fascinating to let out of my sight again. Lesson learned on not writing people back.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him taking out a small blanket. He began to unroll it and place it under the pine tree that had most of its bottom boughs missing, providing the perfect amount of shade. He went back over to his bag and grabbed sandwich bags filled with all sorts of things. Trying to act completely disinterested, I stared down at the forest floor, but I turned my head only slightly so I could still see what was going on. He began spreading out the baggies on the blanket and then took out some paper plates and napkins.

  “Hey, Triss, do you want some lunch or did you just want to pout over there for the rest of the day? Either’s fine by me. The view is sensational regardless,” he said without taking his eyes off of me. I could feel them dancing from place to place over my body.

  I was mortified. He beat me at my own game. This doesn’t happen to me once, let alone twice.

  I turned to face him with my arms folded across my chest.

  “I’m not pouting, and I’m very different than when you last saw me.”

  “Really? I somehow remember that same stance when you didn’t get your way on the playground or in a hallway full of lockers.” He was rolling with laughter now.

  I marched over to the blanket and plopped down. I was infuriated, but I’d have to change my tactic to keep him at arm’s length. That’s what I wanted, nothing more than a guy to pal around with. That’s all I could afford right now. Meeting my match at this age was nothing I needed to be off thinking about, but it feels like that’s what’s happened, and I couldn’t let it.

  “I’m sure you had a line of females out your back door that you could pick on relentlessly and they’d take it, but that doesn’t work out here and it never will. Not with me. If you’re looking for someone to antagonize, I’d suggest going to college back in Illinois.” I did it. That’ll teach him to mess with me.

  But why? What did he even do? I can’t even remember! It was something insulting wasn’t it, or am I just feeling guilty because I like being with him? I continued to stare at the blanket while I tried to figure out what to do next.

  Logan’s voice was soft and nurturing and it interrupted my thoughts.

  “Triss, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m not exactly sure what I did to start this, but I apologize. I’d love to tell you that you are nothing like you were in sixth grade, but I’d be lying, and I will never lie to you. Everything that I loved about you back then is present sitting here in front of me, except now you’ve grown into a woman who is unbelievably strong, brave, and beautiful. Your stubbornness, independence, and tenacity amazed me at that age when you were setting everyone straight, and you somehow ruined me,” his voice stopped.

  Ruined him? How? I looked up at him and knew none of this was his fault. I was overwhelmed with emotions, and he was the poor soul I was taking it out on. He had been nothing but sweet and supportive, and I decided to pout because I reminded him of an earlier me? How ridiculous.

  “Sorry,” I whispered, completely embarrassed.

  “Don’t be. You’re going through a lot. More than I can pretend to know,” he replied gently.

  I looked back at all the baggies spread in front of us to distract myself. There were sandwiches, chips, brownies, and nuts. I’m sure he packed them himself. A dog was barking off in the distance, probably belonging to some fellow hikers who didn’t light things on fire with a wand.

  “This looks really nice,” I said sheepishly.

  “I want to clear a little something up that you keep bringing up before we eat. You mentioned it at the park too.” His azure eyes were searching mine, creating the stir that I kept trying so hard to keep down.

  “Yeah? What’s that?” I asked, dreading whatever it was.

  “You keep alluding to this infamous line of girls who’ve been apparently following me around most of my high school years.”

  My mouth went dry. I didn’t know which way he was going to go with this. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

  “What about it? I’m only teasing,” I lied.

  His azure eyes narrowed slightly as he reached for my hand.

  My heart missed a beat or three. My breath caught as I turned away to recover. This wasn’t the topic that I was expecting.

  “Triss, can you look at me? It would mean more if you did,” his voice almost a whisper.

  Looking back at him, his haunting blue eyes were burning through me. They were beautiful, and the man behind them was asking for my attention, the man not a boy.

  “Sorry, I’m just fighting so many things right now,” I mumbled, trying to shift the focus off of what was really going on.

  “I know, and that’s why I’m not going to make anything difficult for you, but I must clear something up because you very clearly have the wrong idea about me.” His eyes were intense and carried a meaning behind them I didn’t think possible.

  His hand was holding mine firmly, and I slowly nodded.

  “Do you really think I had to come all the way out to Seattle to go to college?” His eyes held a liveliness I longed for, or maybe it was him that I longed for. “It’s because of you, Triss. You’ve never been far from my thoughts. Everything I’ve ever done or thought about has included you in some form. You just didn’t know it.”

  The breath I gulped earlier started to slowly escape in pieces.

  “I never wanted to hold you back from experiencing everything your world out here had to offer, so I never said anything.” His deep blue eyes locked on mine once more. “As for the girls you keep alluding to, if there were any, I didn’t notice them. I had a one-track mind. I’m not into wasting time, mine or anyone else’s. I don’t know how else to get this through your head. But you’re the only one I’ve ever dreamed of being with. You’ve saved me on many levels, and I’m forever in your debt, and I’m willing to wait for however long it takes.”

  My already fragile world started spinning. I’d been doing so well compartmentalizing everything. Now looking into his eyes, I saw a world that I wanted to be included in, but I wasn’t sure I was read
y or ever would be. I couldn’t say anything. No words would come.

  He let go of my hand and moved forward toward me.

  “I’ll always be here waiting for you,” he said, touching my chest with his fingertips, drawing a shape of a heart. His touch left me absolutely breathless. I could only focus on his lips. I wanted a kiss so badly, but that would be so unfair to him.

  “We should probably eat a little and get back for your birthday dinner. Your aunt will kill me if we miss it,” he said, sitting back filling the void I was unable to. He knew exactly when not to press me, but I wanted something more.

  I still didn’t know what to say and unfortunately that didn’t stop me from talking.

  “Logan, those are the sweetest words anyone has ever spoken near me, let alone to me. I’m at a loss for words. I’m worried I won’t be able to give you what you’re looking for, not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t. Not right now anyway.” My voice was a notch above a whisper. I didn’t want to look up at him.

  “Triss, I’m in no hurry. I wasn’t kidding. You are one of a kind and worth waiting for,” he replied, matter-of-factly.

  “It’s still hard to believe that you didn’t have girls beating down your door,” I teased, hoping to lighten the mood.

  Catching my attempt, he scooted forward and moved his legs while he grabbed one of the sandwiches. His body seemed so long laid out like that on his side. I knew he was tall, but this was pretty impressive. Balancing on his elbow, he looked up at me with a wide smile and shook his head.

  “I didn’t say they weren’t beating my door down, I just said I didn’t notice,” he laughed.

  “Nice,” I said, reaching for a sandwich. “You’re pretty incredible, and I thank you for sharing your awesomeness with me.”

  He started laughing harder and threw the empty baggie at me, but the wind picked it up and carried it a small distance, dropping it on the buttercups that had made a home mixed in with the tall grass.

  “You suck at flowery romance, Triss,” he grinned.

  “Maybe you’re too smooth. Have you thought of that?” I asked, internally scolding myself. I would be heartbroken if he lost any of his kindness. I looked over at him, and his lips tugged into a smile as soon as our eyes met. He certainly wasn’t one to be kept down long.

  I grabbed one of the baggies that held the chocolate goodness, and silence fell between us once more. Weeks had gone by since my mom’s disappearance, yet I felt like it had been years in some aspects and only minutes in others.

  “Are you going to be okay at the Witch Avenue Ceremony? Did you let them know you’re going to participate after all?” he asked.

  My heart fell a little, but I did my best to lift my own spirits. I did have to still live in the harsh reality that wasn’t meant to be mine.

  “Yeah, I emailed them and one of the elders, Brenda, replied back. They’ve been holding a spot for me.” A lump began forming in my throat, and I refused to give in.

  “Well, as a friend, I’ll be there every step of the way. Anything you need, I want to help. One more thing though before we head back.” He grabbed his leather journal again, flipping to a different section.

  “Oh no, not again!” I teased, and he couldn’t hide his grin.

  “Okay, found them. I’ve got four different type of conjured souls traced out here. I actually traced them out of a spell book, so they should hopefully resemble reality a little better than the stick figures I insulted you with earlier. I was kinda curious if any of them matched what you saw in the floral shop.” He spun the journal for me to see.

  The images, although different, all had a similarity to them that was frightening. The first image I saw definitely wasn’t like the one in the floral shop. First of all, it looked completely human and had feet. The next one was closer and looked like it was supposed to be transparent, but the head wasn’t right. The third one, however, was exactly like it. I didn’t even bother with the fourth. The head in the third image was distorted with a jaw that didn’t seem attached and looked as frightening in the drawing as in person.

  “That’s the one,” I said, pointing at the image that gave me shivers even in the drawing. Anxiety started building in my abdomen, and I tried hard to push it aside. There was a question I wanted to ask, but I doubted it would be one that he wanted to answer. I’d never been one to hold back my feelings or concerns and I shouldn’t start now.

  “Have you conjured up these beings, Logan? Is that why you have the images in your book?” I stared at him, hoping the answer he gave me would make it easy to dismiss him. Maybe that was my out. I’d find out something so horrendous that it would be impossible to have feelings for him. The silence continued. He wasn’t answering me.

  Finally, he nodded.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “My mom’s car got broken into repeatedly, and I knew who kept doing it. The police couldn’t charge them because of lack of evidence, so I took the matter into my own hands. After my father’s death, I felt like I had to do things to protect my mom, to protect us. In my eyes, I was the head of the household. I knew I could scare them just enough. And it worked.” His lips twitched a little as he remembered.

  How could I be angry with that for a reason? Even when I think he’ll provide me with an out to rid myself of these feelings for him, he comes off as even more likeable. A sigh escaped.

  “Are you upset with me?” he asked.

  I shook my head and Logan’s finger quickly touched my lips sending a shock through my system.

  “You’ve got a bit of chocolate,” he murmured, his fingertips gently tracing my lips.

  My own plan was failing me AGAIN.

  “Thank you,” I uttered.

  “Let’s get off this mountain and count our victories. Nothing was torched or destroyed,” Logan said, dropping his fingers and hopping up from the ground.

  He knew what he was doing, and it was working.

  Chapter 13

  The Witch Avenue covenstead was bustling with people. The parking lot was full, and everyone was dressed beautifully. They rolled out the cobalt-blue carpet onto the sidewalk. Huge flower arrangements were placed all along the pathway leading to the front of the stone building. The arrangements were full of roses, delphiniums, Bells of Ireland, and daisies. No doubt Meredith had kept herself busy at the floral shop. She even managed to create a potted row of forget-me-nots in between all the arrangements. I knew she made the arrangements extra special since I was taking part in the ceremony. I was relieved to have that kind of support. I couldn’t wait to see what the inside looked like. I had stopped by earlier in the morning, and nothing was set up yet so it would be interesting.

  My nerves started working overtime and I wasn’t sure why. Logan put his hand on my shoulder as we made our way from the car. I smoothed out my ivory lace dress and took my hair down from the ponytail I had it in. I couldn’t make up my mind how I wanted my hair. These bangs were starting to get frustrating.

  “There’s nothing to be worried about, Triss. You’ll do amazing,” he whispered, his breath skated over my neck, creating more confusion for me.

  I turned to look at him and smiled. No words came out.

  Aunt Vieta and Ellsy came to our side. They came in a different car. We had made our way to the beginning of the blue carpet and Logan, Ellsy, and my aunt stopped and motioned for me to continue down the path by myself. The elders were lined up waiting to greet all of us who were about to enter the Witch Avenue Coven. There were eleven of us entering this year.

  “Beatrice,” Frank bowed his head and stuck out his hand, “we are so grateful you are joining us today. We were worried.”

  Nobody called me Beatrice. Most people didn’t even know that was my name. I did my finest not to cringe as I took his hand. It was a limp handshake at best. His hand was cold and clammy. It wasn’t the best start to my journey down the carpet. I waited till his eyes came back up to greet mine. Frank was more of an acquaintance. He had been with the o
rder longer than I was alive, but our family never seemed to intermingle with his. His black and grey hair was plastered back with shiny hair gel. I really wanted to get on to the next person.

  “Thank you for understanding, Frank. I appreciate you allowing me to change my mind so many times. I know it couldn’t have been easy with planning,” I said, my voice flat.

  “No issue at all. We knew you’d come around eventually,” he replied, letting go of my hand not nearly soon enough. “We all loved your mom. She will be missed. These things happen though.”

  “Thank you,” I muttered and stepped back, looking into Frank’s eyes, for what, I didn’t know. He smiled at me, and then turned to speak with another.

  ‘These things happen?’ It’s not like someone accidentally hit a squirrel in a car.

  The nausea overtook me, and I suddenly found myself glancing back at Logan and everyone. Logan, Aunt Vieta, and Ellsy were standing in front of the rhododendrons chatting with some of the other attendees. Logan looked over at me, sensing my glare, and threw a tight-lipped grin at me. I was certain he was close enough to have heard Frank’s words. I tried to smile back at him, but it wouldn’t come. Logan nodded at me and excused himself from the group he was with.

  Logan’s stride was quick and deliberate, getting to me in only a few seconds.

  “Are you okay?” Logan asked, his brows furrowed in disgust.

  I shook my head.

  “Do you want to go home?” His voice was stern.

  I shook my head again. I glanced up the carpet to see seven other elders waiting to greet me.

  “Will you walk up the rest of the way with me?” I asked.

  “I don’t think that’s customary. But I think under the circumstances, they’ll have to get over it, won’t they?” He smiled at me, taking my hand.

  “Thanks,” I whispered, stepping back into reality. I was strong enough to get through this.