Lonely Souls

by Karice Bolton

  “It’s hard to believe. I mean, I do believe it, but I don’t.”

  I was sitting upright again, watching a couple play with their new puppy. I was trying to draw parallels between the magic world and the world without. I grew up in a home full of the traditions, and yet in one afternoon, I saw more magic than I ever had in my entire life and not in a good way.

  “Did you and your mom talk much about your heritage and the beliefs of your ancestors?” Logan asked.

  “Are you referring to the arrowhead?” I asked, moving my hand to block the sun out of my eyes.

  He nodded.

  “Yeah. I know quite a bit, but there was a lot more to learn. My mom didn’t tell me everything. I even wondered if that was why I was meeting her at the beach. I know she was looking forward to going over everything with me this summer, like genealogy and things like that in greater detail. But yeah, she filled me in on quite a bit. The coven was actually upset with her for letting me know so many details. They didn’t think it was good to influence what my interests might be, but every time I was at the cottage really incredible things would happen, and I embraced it,” I replied. “She had no choice.”

  “I know. I’ll never forget being five or six and watching you sit outside with a raccoon. The thing wasn’t mad at you, it wasn’t hissing at you, and your mom didn’t go outside screaming to chase it away. My mom almost had a coronary because all she could think of was rabies, but your mom told my mom to calm down and that no raccoon or animal would ever hurt you. That image stuck with me.” He smiled, intently tracing my face with his blue eyes. “What? Why are you scowling at me?”

  “Sorry! I just don’t understand with knowing so many weird things about me from such a young age, why you would be at all…” my voice trailed off. Anything I said would come out wrong.

  “Enamored with you?” he guessed, his eyes twinkling.

  “Yeah, exactly. I mean, it’s kind of weird to have a chick who can become one with nature to the point of birds landing on her head and raccoons staring at her. It sounds worse to me than a crazy cat lady,” I laughed.

  “There’s nothing wrong with a crazy cat lady and well,” he paused, “hmm. I guess you are kind of weird, but I like it.” His brilliant smile caught the look of one of the female rollerbladers dressed in a skimpy camisole. I thought she was about to skate into one of the lampposts, and I found myself scooting a little closer to him.

  “I knew it would only be a matter of time before you figured it out and left me. It’s genetic. I’m doomed.” I was only kidding but the words I spoke kind of hurt. Was that what I was really worried about more than anything? If I didn’t let him in, then I would never get hurt like my mom did. I had to change the subject to a safe zone again.

  “Left you? I don’t even have you,” he whispered, shaking his head.

  “Anyway, to answer your question, I know that I have a connection to the wilderness and every living thing in it. My mom mentioned our ties back to Artemis, and I know that’s the path her side of the family chose to follow closely. It just seems that I’m the lucky one who can commune with nature.” I smiled and twirled my finger in the air. “Yay me!”

  “The gifts you have are pretty unique, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that is what she wanted to talk to you about on the beach,” he nodded, grimacing.

  “Gifts? Ha!”

  “Seriously, Triss, the abilities you have, combined with magic, could really change things,” his voice hushed so the beachgoers wouldn’t overhear.

  “How so?”

  “If you have more on your side than just the human world, the possibilities could be endless for the good that could be spread,” he replied, “or the evil.”

  “I’m at a complete loss, Logan. Just because I could probably take care of myself in the woods doesn’t mean that’s a useful set of skills. In case you forgot, we own a floral shop in the middle of a city, and we help people heal when we can. I make soaps, tinctures, oils, bouquets, and teas so people can calm themselves from the hustle and bustle of city life and burning themselves out in the corporate world. That’s pretty much it.”

  He placed his hands on mine and looked at me, scowling a little.

  “I’m all for keeping family secrets, secret.” He bit his lip, while he thought about what he wanted to say.

  “What do you mean? Yours or mine?” I asked frightened.

  The breeze off the water was beginning to pick up, and I was getting the shivers. The beach was starting to clear out a little bit, and it made for a more intimate setting, not that I was looking for that, but at least we could talk without the fear of being overheard. I was rubbing my arms trying to warm up, and Logan wrapped his arm around me to take over.

  “What did your mom tell you about your dad?” Logan’s voice was hesitant.

  The anger started building deep within my soul at the thought of him. There was nothing to know about him, and I didn’t want to know.

  “Very little. He left me when I wasn’t even a year old. Never got anything from him, not even a birthday card. Not much to say about the jerk,” I replied.

  Logan was silent, pressing his lips together. A shadow came across him, and I knew he was debating about what to tell me.

  “Are you the slightest bit curious about him?” he finally asked.

  “It’s hard to be curious about someone who abandons you. Curiosity would just lead to more hurt most likely, and I’m not a big fan of putting myself out there to get beat up.”

  He nodded.

  “What aren’t you telling me?” I asked.

  And then it came pouring out.

  “Your father left your mother because he had turned back to black magic and wanted to raise you that way,” he replied. “And she wanted, for obvious reasons, no part of that lifestyle.”

  My stomach began to get queasy. This wasn’t possible. Why would she never have mentioned this?

  “Back to black magic? What do you mean back?” I asked. “And why do you know all of this?”

  “I know it because I would listen to my mom’s conversations with your mom. My mom never thought I was listening, but anything to do with you, and I wanted to know,” he said, avoiding my eyes. There was something he wasn’t telling me.

  I reached up and grabbed Logan’s hand that was draped over my shoulder. I was full of questions, but none would formulate. I was sickened to think my father was part of black magic, but then I happened to be sitting next to someone who experimented as well. Maybe my father only experimented and my mother overreacted. I felt ashamed of myself for suddenly giving my father the benefit of the doubt and discrediting my mom’s judgment. Regardless of the exact scenario, she’s the one who stood up and took care of me growing up.

  “The reason I said turned back to black magic is that he was born into a family of dark sorcerers. When your father met your mom, he dropped all ties with his family and that world. Unfortunately, from what I could gather, he was somehow lured back into that lifestyle. It can be a pretty tempting path,” he stopped himself.

  “What’s tempting about it?”

  “A lot of things,” his voice low and burdened with the knowledge that I didn’t have.

  “Like?” I questioned. I was not going to let him off. I needed to know what drove my father away from us, or more pointedly, what was more fulfilling to him than his family.

  “The power,” he mumbled, not looking into my eyes. My heart fell as I wondered if he could ever be tempted back.

  “What else?” I prompted.

  “The discipline it requires and the control.” He looked up at me, his expression tormented. “It’s a real victory when it can be mastered.”

  “Are those things that you felt?”

  “At times,” he nodded, not looking away, but rather intensifying his gaze. “Have I frightened you?”

  “No, not at all,” I lied. I was a little frightened and not necessarily for the most obvious reasons.

  “I’m sorry for telling
you that about your father,” he said. “But if you were raised with black magic like your father wanted, good things wouldn’t have come about.”

  “What? I could sic a coyote on someone or something?” I flippantly replied. “It’s obviously not a good idea to be involved in black magic, but I doubt I’d offer something to that world that they can’t already steal or figure out.”

  “You’re right. But is it about training animals to attack people? No. It’s the fact that you can tap into the world’s energy, no matter the form and do things with it. That’s what’s intriguing about your particular skillset. You have the ability to hone into the life forces of the world. That’s not something to be taken lightly.”

  “I never thought about it that way,” I replied.

  “Think about it. It doesn’t matter if it’s getting animals on your side or growing huge vegetables, somehow whatever it is that you want to accomplish that involves anything living with an energy field, you seem to master. You may not see it that way, but that’s the gift you have.”

  “Triss, I’m not trying to make things overblown but finding out how little your mom taught you about protecting yourself was really disappointing. I can understand that she was hesitant because of your father, but she should’ve at least taught you the basics,” Logan replied. “It’s really done you a disservice. I mean, I’ll be able to teach you a lot of things but having to backtrack is only wasting time.”

  “What more do you think I need to learn?” I asked.

  “After today’s events? I’d say just about as much as I have to offer,” he muttered.

  “Without going into the dark arts, though, right?” I couldn’t believe I asked that.

  He smiled and squeezed me close.

  “Triss, I wouldn’t ever want you to see that side of life, and I certainly don’t want to revisit it. There might be times when you think you’re on the verge, but I won’t ever let you go there,” he whispered.

  I rested my head on his shoulder and wondered if that was something that he could really protect me from. If my father and his family before him were part of it, how could I be certain that I wouldn’t fall into it eventually? I wondered why my mother wouldn’t have at least told me this about my dad. It might have made it easier than thinking he just left us.

  Logan’s phone buzzed with the text from his mom that everything was clear. I was now living a life where people I loved had to secure buildings before I entered. It was time to go to the cottage where no one could find me. The clouds were already rolling in, and I felt the same with my emotions. I didn’t want to live in fear, but it didn’t seem like I had much of a choice.

  “I think we’ve got to get out of here as soon as we can. Do many people know about the cottage?” he asked.

  “No. It was our little sanctuary. Besides your family and my aunt’s family, I can’t remember anyone ever going there. It was the one place where no one could pester us.”

  “Let’s hope that’s the case. It’s far enough out that hopefully we won’t be followed, and no charms will land at our feet. There’s a little motto I’ve got to teach you that I learned,” he said. “It’s just a Latin proverb, but it’s a good life lesson, especially in light of everything.” He grinned. He was so mature compared to the other guys I knew. Latin proverbs? My word.

  “Lay it on me,” I said, trying to hide my smile. He truly amazed me.

  "It sounds cooler in Latin, so I’ll say that first, Alterius non sit, qui potest esse sui,” his lips curled in just the right way as he spoke the proverb beautifully.

  “Which means?” I teased him.

  “Don't depend on someone else if you can be your own master," he replied.

  ”That’s a beautiful expression, quite fitting. Please tell me you only know bits and pieces of Latin,” I said.

  ”Only bits and pieces,” he assured me, helping me up from the bench.

  I didn’t believe him.

  “Now, let’s get back to the house and figure out what we need to do,” he said.

  He kissed me on the top of my head, somehow elevating my feelings for him once more.

  Chapter 16

  We pulled into the driveway, and everything seemed fine. Aunt Vieta and Ellsy had made sure everything was okay in the home before they gave Logan the “all’s clear” text. Walking up to the door, my eyes fell on the potted plant that was left on our doorstep.

  “I thought you said they checked everything out?” I turned to Logan.

  “They did. What’s the big deal?” he asked, looking at the potted plant.

  “Begonias, that’s just great,” I whispered to myself more than to him, the color draining from my face.

  “What’s the problem?” Logan asked, coming up behind me.

  “Begonias are a warning. They mean to beware.” I turned around, gauging his reaction.

  “I know we’ve been through a lot and are probably facing even more, but I don’t think you should assume that because you know the meanings of every flower known to man that everyone else does,” Logan mumbled. “Someone was probably trying to brighten your day, not ruin it.”

  “Do you really believe that?” I asked coldly.

  He didn’t answer.

  “Listen, you have taught me a lot, and I know I’ll be learning so much more from you, but I have a lot to offer you as well, if you’re willing to learn. I know this was left as a warning.” I stepped over it. “Don’t touch it. It has a curse on it. Do you smell that?”

  There was a slight sulfur scent.

  “Yeah, I do,” he admitted.

  “That’s not the natural scent of a begonia. I’ll tell you that much,” I said, turning around and grabbing his hand, pulling him inside.

  “This has got to be a partnership. It’ll get us where we need to go a lot faster,” I continued, “if we both listen to each other.”

  Glancing up at him, he had a grin stretching across his entire face.

  “Am I always funny to you?” I asked lightly.

  “Nope. You just have a way about you, Triss. Bossy as ever, but I love it. It’s not something that I ran into all that much after I left here. Girls always told me what I wanted to hear, and it got old real quick.” He let go of my hand and shoved his hair back from his face.

  “Aunt Vieta?” I hollered, switching subjects.

  She came puttering out of the kitchen with one of my mom’s daisy-print aprons on. These constant reminders of my mom were getting really tough. I needed them to keep me going, but it was like a stab in the heart everywhere I looked.

  “Yes, dear,” she said talking to me, but looking at Logan somewhat disapproving.

  “I’m over here,” I said, waving my hand in front of her face.

  “There’s a cursed begonia plant on our front porch. I’m guessing it wasn’t there when you guys came home?” I asked.

  “Oh, no.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t on the porch, sweetie. We came in through the front door, and nothing was sitting there. You know, the dogs were barking next door about fifteen minutes ago. I wonder if there’s a connection,” she muttered, her voice becoming more exhausted with every syllable.

  “Probably,” Logan replied, as we all followed my aunt into the kitchen.

  “Maybe I should stay longer,” Ellsy’s voice met us as we entered the room. “I don’t need to leave tomorrow.” She looked more stressed than any of us, probably because she saw her son in action that afternoon. She was wringing her hands, sitting at the kitchen table. She changed her outfit from the ceremony, back into our staple of yoga pants. A change of clothes suddenly seemed like a very good idea.

  “I’m still not completely feeling myself and seeing that welcome basket on the front porch didn’t help matters,” I said, ignoring Ellsy’s suggestion. I was going to let Logan handle that. “Logan, can you grab some of the cedarwood oil out of the pantry? The diffuser is on the counter. I think we could all use some healing compounds right now,” I said. Not to mention the un-hexing propertie
s I mused. “I’m gonna go upstairs and change. I’ll be back down in a minute to make us some different teas that will hopefully get us sorted a little better.”

  “No hurry, dear,” my aunt’s voice was weary.

  Logan was already in the pantry searching for the cedarwood oil as I darted down the hall. If Logan and I really were going to go somewhere for a little while, I would need to make a list of the oils and incenses that I’d want to take with me. Granted, if we were in the middle of the forest, I’d have plenty at my fingertips, but the way things had been going, we needed to go out there already prepared.

  I was rummaging through my drawers trying to find my University of Washington sweatshirt, when I found one of my old plane ticket stubs. I started to throw the ticket aside, and something caught my eye. The confirmation code began with “AS” followed by a long line of numbers, exactly like what was in my mom’s planner. Pulling the sweatshirt over my head as I headed back downstairs to tell Logan, excitement began running through my body with the thought that I might be one step closer to figuring things out about my mom.

  Logan was back in the pantry and his mom and my aunt were no longer in the kitchen. He was staring at shelf upon shelf of dried herbs, tinctures, and oils that we had organized so well.

  “Logan,” I said with my voice low. “I think I figured out what the random letter-number code was in the planner. Check it out.” I shoved my old plane ticket in front of him.

  “Nice one,” he said, a smile spreading across his lips.

  I backed up quickly realizing how close I had gotten to him and how hard it was for me to be that close without my mind wandering.

  “Let’s go to the study and see what’s up. I think you might have figured it out,” he said in amazement.

  “I wonder where she was planning on going, or having me go?” I whispered as we walked to the study.

  “We’ll find out shortly.”

  I flipped the light on in the study and went over to the desk. My head started pounding again, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of what happened at my receiving ceremony or this plane ticket.