by Jade Kerrion
It was not the first gift he had bought for Noelle.
That first gift he had never given to her.
He swallowed the ironic chuckle. Life had a sick sense of humor. Of course, Noelle would be the one who would awaken him emotionally after Millie’s death. Who else could, but the woman who had, back in high school, almost inadvertently wrecked his fledging relationship with Millie?
CHAPTER NINE
Noelle sneaked out of Hope’s bedroom and closed the door on the napping child. Hope had become fretful after lunch and wailed an objection when Noelle carted her off to bed, but she fell asleep within minutes. Noelle returned downstairs to find Grace happily playing with her new toys beneath the Christmas tree, and Connor on the couch. His head was reclined, his eyes closed, but he looked up as she approached.
“Sorry I woke you,” she said.
“I wasn’t sleeping.” He extended his hand to her. She took his hand and allowed him to tug her gently to the couch. She tried to ignore the traitorous flutter in her stomach. Widowed. Two children. Middle of nowhere. I’m going back to Los Angeles.
Yet somehow, her objection didn’t seem as vehement as it had been previously.
Their fingers remained entwined, yet his grasp was loose and gentle. It was perfectly obvious to her that she could pull away any time she wanted.
He said quietly, “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done this Christmas.”
She forced a bright smile. “You know me. Always had a soft spot for…” She gulped. Damn, she didn’t want him to think she had only been acting out of some misplaced affection for—
“Strays?” Connor sounded sad, but not ironic or bitter. “Holly had many stories about some unfortunate animal you’d picked up and nursed back to health. I remember, back in high school, that pit bull mix—”
“Roger. White with fawn markings. I eventually found him a good home with the Markhams.”
“I know. They put him to sleep a couple of years back—”
“Cancer,” Noelle murmured. She kept track of all the strays she had adopted out.
Connor nodded. “But several of his puppies are still living with the Markhams. They look a touch more aristocratic than their father. Their mother was Ms. Fiona’s whippet.”
Noelle choked back a snort of laughter. “Really? I didn’t hear that.”
“Caused quite a scandal. One of the pit bull-whippet mixes had puppies of her own last year. We were about to adopt one for Grace, and then…” He shrugged, the motion oddly defensive. “Plans changed.”
Her fingers tightened around his. “I’m sorry. Millie was a wonderful person.” She hesitated. “What happened?”
“Internal hemorrhage. Bleeding. She’d delivered Hope early in the morning, and we spent the day together. Everything seemed fine, and I left after dinner to take Grace home. Minutes later, I got a call from the hospital saying she’d complained of chest pains and lost consciousness. Everything spiraled from there.” He drew a deep breath. “She passed away about an hour later.”
His hands were cold. Noelle pressed both her hands over his to warm them.
“Grace never got to say goodbye to her mother.”
Noelle bit her lip. Now was not the time to burden Connor with Grace’s trauma over her mother’s last words to her.
He changed the topic abruptly. “I have something for you. It’s under the tree.”
She tugged her hand out of his and retrieved the sole remaining package under the tree. “Is this it?”
He nodded.
She returned to her seat beside him and turned the gift over in her hand. “I don’t have anything for you.”
“You’ve already given me more than I expected.”
Her heart raced. Her rational thoughts scattered at the sincerity and hope in his voice. The combination would melt any woman’s heart. “Do I open it now?”
His eyebrows drew together. “No,” he blurted the word out.
He had almost said yes; she was certain of it.
“Take it home,” he said. “I’m sure your father and sister are waiting for you to celebrate Christmas with them. I’ll stop by later today, check on your dad.”
“I’ll wait. We’ll go together when Hope wakes from her nap. With your strained back, it’ll be hard for you to manage alone.”
His dark eyes met hers. “What will you do when you run out of excuses to stay around and help?”
His quiet voice sent a tremble through her. “Make something up, I suppose.” She kept her tone flippant.
“Would you really make up an excuse to stay, or will you just disappear?”
She swallowed through the lump in her throat. “I’m going back to Los Angeles when Dad is better.”
His eyes shadowed. “I see.”
“But it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t renew old friendships, or that you should heroically turn down a pair of helping hands that we both know you desperately need.”
Connor shook his head. “Noelle, I don’t know how to translate female innuendo. I haven’t been on a first date since high school. What are you saying?”
What was she saying? She wasn’t entirely sure. Noelle pressed her lips together. “I’m saying that for as long as I’m here, I’d like to spend time with you and your children. I think you’d appreciate the help, and I’m sure Grace enjoys my company. Just having someone else around will give you the break you need.”
He was silent for a moment. “It will,” he said finally. “And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed more than just friendship.” He drew a deep breath. “It’s been a while and—I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t be. I wasn’t clear because…it wasn’t clear.”
Connor chuckled. “You’re confusing me again, but I think we’ll manage.” He looked at the gift she held. “Go ahead. Open it. Now that we’ve cleared the air, you probably won’t get the wrong message from it.”
Wrong message? Jeez, what did he buy for her? An engagement ring?
No, the box was too large for a ring, but even so, she unwrapped the gift with some trepidation. Her heart thumped as she recognized the name of the local jeweler. She glanced up at him. “Connor?”
“I hope you like it.”
She flipped up the cover to reveal a sapphire and diamond tennis bracelet. Wait, surely those weren’t diamonds. They sparkled like diamonds though. Her breath caught. “It’s beautiful. It’s too much.”
He shook his head. “You saved Christmas for my children, and this was before my accident. Since then, you’ve saved it several times over.”
“I can’t—”
“You can. Keep it, please. It comes with all my thanks.”
His simple words touched her. “Thank you.” She allowed him to fasten it on her wrist and held her hand up to admire the bracelet as it caught the light. “Sweet heavens, it’s gorgeous.” A thrill of delight raced through her. Impulsively, she turned and kissed him.
He stiffened as shock jolted through the both of them. She pulled back and stared into his dark eyes.
What she saw in them shivered through her.
Need.
Desire.
And a great deal of caution.
Widowed. Two children. Middle of nowhere. I’m going back to Los Angeles.
She couldn’t tear her gaze away from him. He made no move toward her, but he did not move back either.
Widowed. Two children. Middle of…oh, to hell with it.
Noelle placed her hand gently against his cheek to steady him, or perhaps it was to steady herself. Their lips touched, and their breaths merged. His lips were firm and the caress of his tongue gentle and teasing as he deepened the kiss, immersing her into an ocean of sensation. She drifted, anchored only by the grip of his hand against her back. His warmth surrounded her, and his clean, masculine scent, touched with hints of amber and musk, shot straight into her head like a blast of crystal meth.
Sweet heavens. He was unbelievably sexy, even intoxicating.
W
hen she finally broke away, her head spinning and her heart pounding, she couldn’t quite recall what her objection to him had been.
Connor stared at her like a man coming out of a daze. For several moments, neither moved until his sharp inhalation of air cut through the tension that lay heavily between them. His glance darted to Grace who sat under the tree, apparently blissfully unaware of their kiss.
Noelle nodded her understanding. Under no circumstances could they hurt the child; on that point, at least, they were agreed. He relaxed against the couch, and after a moment, she leaned against him, moving slowly to not jostle his injured back. He wrapped an arm around her; his cheek rested against the top of her head. His breath stirred wisps of her hair.
The quiet and simple intimacy of the cuddle was as physically soothing as it was emotionally shattering.
It felt right.
It didn’t surprise her. “Kindred spirits” was the closest she’d come to describing her inexplicable connection with Connor since the day he tackled the school’s quarterback to help her protect a rabbit. No doubt he had forgotten the incident, but she hadn’t, and at that moment, she couldn’t think of anything she wanted more, anything she would look forward to more each day than the reassurance of returning to his arms.
It felt right, but it was crazy.
It wasn’t what she’d wanted at all, was it?
The foundations of her world—of her life in Los Angeles—trembled, but they still held.
~*~
Later that evening, the festivities migrated to Holly’s living room, filling Noelle’s childhood home with conversation and laughter. A sturdy grate kept the children away from the blazing fireplace, and Holly made multiple trips into the kitchen to stock the food trays with crackers, sliced deli meats, cheese, and an amazing selection of desserts.
After a brief moment of indecision, Noelle settled into the curve of Connor’s arm. Who cared who thought what? She was with her family; if she couldn’t be honest with them about her evolving feelings for Connor, who could she be honest with?
Holly, thankfully, made no comment, although Noelle noticed her sister’s gaze rest on the sparkling bracelet on her wrist. The private interrogation would follow, no doubt. Alan Langford was neither shortsighted nor tactful, but he too seemed content to keep the conversation flowing along a neutral stream. In a small town, there was no shortage of neutral, though gossipy, conversation topics, ranging from pets to marriages, from school-yard fights to pregnancies, although Connor had remained professionally discreet on the latter.
Noelle enjoyed his easy interaction with her family, and the patient way he handled his children. Grace, for all her belligerent attitude against her father, immediately went to him for comfort and care when she fell heavily on her knee while ice-skating in her socks along the corridor. Hope was much less shy about her affection for and attachment to her father. She looped back around to him after each round of exploring the house and clung to his knee until she received a kiss on the forehead and a gentle pat on her diapered butt, ushering her off into the great big world once more.
Connor’s smartphone rang. Noelle scooted away from him so that he could pull it out of his pocket. While she stoked the fire, she caught snippets of his conversation. She did not miss the way he tensed.
He hung up, his face tight.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“It was Jason. His wife just went into labor, and he asked if I could meet him at the hospital.”
Holly’s brow furrowed. “She’s early, isn’t she?”
Connor nodded. “She’s in good hands, but I think Jason just wants another doctor around—mostly to tell him not to panic.”
Noelle chuckled. “Isn’t Jason your partner at the clinic?”
“Yes, and like all good doctors, he’s thoroughly logical and professional until his wife is the one in the bed.”
Try as she might, Noelle could not detect any bitterness or irony in his voice. Still, the situation couldn’t possibly be easy for him, bringing back recollections of last Christmas, when his wife had been the one in the bed.
Connor stood slowly, a hand braced against his back. “My car is still in the ditch. Could I get a ride to the hospital, please?”
“I’ll take you.” Holly reached for her keys and headed to the door.
Connor glanced at Noelle. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
She waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it. If it gets late, I’ll take the kids home, or perhaps we’ll camp out here, in sleeping bags by the fireplace.”
Grace perked up. “Really? We can go camping?”
Hope wailed when she realized her father had left, but when Noelle picked her up, she settled into an occasional disconsolate whimper. In fact, Noelle suspected quickly that the whimpers were entirely for effect. They happened only when Noelle looked at Hope and Hope realized someone was watching her. “Sneaky child,” Noelle chided and kissed the whimper away. She glanced up and saw her father’s gaze on her. “What?”
“Just thinking how good you look together.”
“If you’re thinking of match-making, don’t. I don’t think Connor is ready to move on.”
“If he weren’t, he wouldn’t be sitting with his arm around you. Connor’s a simple man, that way. Faithful too.” Her father snorted and turned his attention to the magazine he held. “He’s a good man, too good to be played around with.”
Noelle frowned. “What are you saying, Daddy? We’re both adults; we know what we’re doing.”
“Do you? You broke lots of hearts in this town, Noelle. Don’t break Connor’s too. He doesn’t deserve it.”
~*~
It was past 1 a.m. when Connor walked into his house. Noelle uncoiled from the couch, where she had been napping beneath a heavy comforter, and propped herself up on one elbow. “How’s the baby?”
“Mother and baby are doing well.” Connor smiled. He dragged his hand over his face. “I’m sorry it took so long.”
“Did Jason fall apart?”
He chuckled as he sank down on the couch beside her. “He did a great job, considering it’s his first.”
“And how’s your back?”
“It’s holding up. Swapping out the ice and heat packs early in the injury really helped. Thank you.”
“No problem.” Noelle peered closely at him. “You look…good.” She heard the surprise in her own voice.
“I handled that better than I thought.” He sounded surprised and satisfied. “It was a little hard at first. Newborn. Christmas…”
“Even though Christmas is technically the celebration of a newborn’s birth,” Noelle said drily.
“Yes, even though.” Connor laughed. It was a tired sound, but it rang with sincere humor. “I think being there for someone else helped me not fall apart. It was…” He stared at the neat piles of discarded Christmas wrappers Noelle had gathered, smoothed, and folded. He laughed, a sound that warmed her. “Do you reuse them too?”
“Of course. Doesn’t everyone?”
“I do. I didn’t think anyone else did. It drove Millie crazy. She said it added to the clutter in the house, and she was probably right. It didn’t help that we couldn’t quite recall where we’d stashed it the previous year, so we ended up using all new wrapping paper anyway. Oh, what a day it has been.” He leaned his head back against the sofa. The motion bared his neck, and she was touched that he didn’t think twice about appearing vulnerable when he was alone with her. “It feels like I’ve grown up more in the past twenty-four hours than I have in an entire year.”
She placed her hand over his. “You’ve spent the entire year growing. It’s just the first time you’ve paused long enough to reflect.”
“I suppose.” He stared at their entwined fingers. “What about you? How have you grown since leaving Havre de Grace?”
“Oh, it’s been so long. I told myself I was keeping Mom company after the divorce, but really, I just wanted to get away from a little town and all the e
xpectations that form up around you before you even enter first grade.”
“Like taking over your dad’s pet store?”
“See! You heard that one too.” Noelle huffed. “People think that destiny is an ancient concept in a modern world. I just say no one really understands the concept of destiny unless he or she was born in a small town where everyone knows everyone and, worse, has an opinion on everything. The opinions are like brick and mortar. They form a wall that shepherd you down one path without giving you an opportunity to look around.”
Connor chuckled.
“Didn’t you mind?”
“That people expected me to become a doctor and take over the clinic when my father retired? No.”
“Did you even consider anything else?”
“Not really. Not seriously, at any rate.”
“And it didn’t bother you?”
“I guess some people find the familiarity—or destiny, as you call it—comforting. I like knowing my neighbors, even when they stop me in the middle of the grocery store aisle to talk about gout. I like knowing I can pick up the phone in the morning, make a couple of phone calls, and find someone to keep an eye on Grace and Hope during the day.”
“I thought you had the whole of next week off?”
“I did, and then Danica gave birth a month ahead of schedule. Jason’s going to need time with his new family, so I offered to go back in to the clinic.”
“Small town communities,” Noelle murmured. She knew all too well how it worked. She had no doubt Jason had stepped in to cover for Connor many times during the previous year. Friends covered for each other; that was just how things were in Havre de Grace. “Why don’t you leave Grace and Hope with me?”
“Aren’t you going in to the pet store?”
“Yes, but I think Grace will enjoy it there. Besides, she likes hanging out with me.”
“Yeah, she does.” He glanced at her. “Your Christmas break isn’t turning out the way you imagined.”
“No, but that’s not to say I’m not enjoying it.” She smiled. “Like your Christmas, it’s turning out to be a great deal more than I expected.”