Perfectly Good Nanny

by Paty Jager

  Did she get all the photos she needed? She seemed to know a lot about antiques, but could he really get enough out of a few pieces of furniture to pay her wages?

  He wanted her stay here legitimate. With his ex-father-in-law starting rumors in Halverton, it would be hard enough to keep people from thinking poorly of Carina and himself.

  The water started to cool. He turned off the faucet and stepped out of the shower, toweling off. Wrapping it around his waist, he headed for the stairs.

  “No! Don’t take her!” Carina’s shouts from the living room set his heart racing.

  He looked around and spotted her sitting up on the couch. Hurrying over, he sat down beside her. When he raised his hand to push the hair out of her face, she pulled back, fear lighting her eyes and contorting her face.

  “No, I didn’t mean to.” Her hands and arms raised, whether to ward off a blow or grab something, he couldn’t tell.

  Brock grasped her shoulders and shook her. “Carina, honey. It’s me Brock. Wake up.” She attempted to fight him at first. Her robe slid down her shoulders, bunching above his hands. The sight of her creamy shoulders and long throat caused his groin to come to life.

  “Shh.” He pulled her tight against his chest. Her body sagged against him as sobs wracked her body.

  “No one’s going to hurt you. I’m here.” He crooned as he smoothed her soft hair and breathed in her sweet, floral scent. When her crying abated, he continued to hold her.

  “What didn’t you mean to do?” he asked and felt her stiffen. “These dreams aren’t manifestations, they come from something real.”

  She tried to pull out of his embrace, but he wasn’t ready to let her go.

  “Is this something to do with your arrest?”

  Her head nodded, rubbing on his bare chest. Brock grit his teeth to keep his groin from exploding. It had been a long time since he’d been naked and held a woman. The skin to skin contact and her soft curves in his arms just about took him over the brink of sanity. But he had to keep a level head and discover his nanny’s secret.

  Sixteen

  “What happened?” Brock put a finger under her chin, lifting her face up to his. Tears clung to her dark lashes.

  Wiping at the tears, Carina sniffed. Swallowing hard her lips trembled. “I lost a child.”

  Her eyes sought his and his gut reaction was sorrow for her and the child. “If only I’d—” She shivered. Brock gathered her into his arms.

  “If only you’d what?” He ran his hand up and down her back, feeling the soft skin and silky fabric under his rough hands.

  “Listened to Perry.” She pushed out of his arms. “I can’t stay here. You shouldn’t have someone watching your children who killed her own.” When she started to stand Brock pulled her back down into his lap.

  “I don’t believe you kill your child.”

  “You don’t understand.” She flailed her arms and legs trying to break loose.

  He held on even as his exhausted body cramped. “No, I don’t understand. Tell me how a woman as devoted and loving as you could kill a child.”

  She stopped struggling and turned in his arms. Placing her hands on either side of his face, she stared into his eyes. “I-I went to help my mom move furniture. Perry told me not to. He worried the whole time I was pregnant. He didn’t want a child—he wanted an ornament to look good with his CEO who believed a family man worked harder,” she gulped. Her body shook. “But I didn’t listen and my baby. She came too early and I killed her.”

  Brock’s heart stopped. He saw the horror of the moment in her blue eyes. He pulled her to him. “You didn’t harm your baby.”

  She pushed away from him. “It was my fault! No one else’s. I killed her.” Tears trickled down her cheeks. “Brock, I can’t stay here. What if I do something to harm your children? I have to leave.”

  “No. You don’t. I know you would never harm my children. Just like you didn’t intentionally harm your baby.” Brock couldn’t deny the fear and sorrow in her eyes.

  “I can feel it here.” She pounded on her chest. “I died in here. And Perry left me, saying I lost the baby just to bring him down.”

  Brock took her head in his hands and kissed the tears on her cheeks. Tasting the saltiness of her pain and breathing the scent of her sweet skin, he knew he’d do whatever it took to make her believe she didn’t kill her child. Lowering his lips to hers, all he wanted to do was chase away her fears.

  Relief seeped out of Carina at telling Brock. When he kissed her, the whole world seemed right. As if her past no longer existed. Winding her hands in his long hair, she found it wet, and his body naked. The hard bulge between him and her thigh sent a shiver of longing throughout her body.

  Her robe slid the rest of the way down her shoulders, pooling in his lap. His hand left the heated path it made down her arm long enough to flip off the lamp.

  In the darkness, he slipped her night clothes over her head, leaving her naked in his lap. Only the thin barrier of her robe on his lap separated them. As his hands grasped her breasts, she moaned softly. He pulled her back against his hard body. His tongue made a wet trail down her neck to her shoulder. She leaned against him, reaching up behind her to draw his lips down to hers.

  His hands continued to mold her breasts before gliding down her torso to the pulsing spot between her legs. When his fingers whispered down the inside of her thighs, she wiggled and sighed as heat coursed through her. The magic of his hands had her pressing closer, wishing for more.

  Sliding his hands under her bottom, he helped her stand. The robe slithered passed her legs as he turned her to face him. His warm, wet mouth sought her nipples while his hands spread her legs and drew her down onto his lap.

  His firmness brushed against her throbbing center as she knelt on the couch straddling his lap. Taking him in her hands, her body surged anew. His firmness and length aroused her. Feeling the velvety softness of his arousal, she wanted him—wanted to give herself to him completely. She ached to have him fill her and feel the love of a good man. If only once in her lifetime.

  Without waiting for a sign from him, she shifted, placing her body over his shaft and lowering slowly, enjoying the moans and heavy breathing of the man under her. When it felt as if the tip would touch her heart, he took over, moving in smooth, unhurried motions.

  Carina flung her head back, gyrating against his motions and panting. The sensations rocked her senses, exploding lights in her head, culminating in blackness before the sensations started all over again. Brock grasped her nipples, rolling them between his fingers. The simple act along with his rhythmic thrusting spiraled all feeling to her center. Whispering his name on a whoosh of air, she collapsed to his chest.

  When the sparklers in her head dimmed and she could speak, Carina, raised up to look into his face. “I’ve never… Oh my.”

  Brock grinned and kissed her. “Me either.” He hugged her tight, enjoying the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest and her wrapped around him. Making love to her filled the emptiness he’d harbored for so long. What he felt for Carina wasn’t the simplistic love of childhood, nor the animalistic lust he had for Cindy. No. The woman in his arms warmed him for the way she loved his children, relished life for the simple things, and her bravery. How many women would leave everything they knew and loved to start a new life?

  He heard the upstairs toilet flush. “As much as I’m enjoying holding you, we better get you dressed and off to your room before Maddie decides to do a bed check.”

  “Oh. I forgot about the children.” The distress in her voice endeared her even more.

  “Shh. I’ll wrap this towel around and head up like I just came out of the shower down here.” He lifted Carina off his lap, groaning as he slipped from her body. Having her wrapped around him created contentment he wanted to relive again and soon.

  Small footsteps sounded on the upstairs hall. “Are you okay?” he whispered, wrapping the towel around himself, hoping the coolness of the wet
cloth and the sight of his daughter would shrink the appendage holding the towel at a point. Brock scanned the length of Carina’s naked body. How would he keep his hands to himself in the morning.

  “Hurry before she comes down,” Carina said, digging around on the couch for her nightie.

  “Just put your robe on and slip into my room when you come up,” he said, smiling and heading for the stairs.

  “I’ll not have Maddie catch me slipping into or out of your room.”

  “I was afraid of that.”

  Brock disappeared up the stairs. Carina sat on the couch listening. She could hear Brock’s deep voice and then Maddie’s young voice. Their footsteps moved to the girl’s bedroom. After a few minutes, Brock’s heavy footsteps padded down the hall to his room.

  She found her night slip slung across the farthest arm of the couch and slid it over her head. As the material skimmed across her sensitive nipples, a rush of heat seared her body. Passion rippled down low in her torso, rekindling the fire Brock had detonated.

  Sliding her arms into her robe, she pulled it tight around her. Now that she knew the security of his arms and the passion of his kisses, how was she to leave? She couldn’t be his nanny indefinitely. After telling him about losing her child, there was no way a family man like himself would even think of becoming attached to a woman like her.

  She hugged her arms around her and climbed the stairs. What was she to do now? At the top, she listened and looked toward Maddie’s door. Not a sound came from the room and light didn’t glow under the child’s door. Her two greatest fears were that Brock would not trust her with his children knowing her past, and Maddie would find Carina sleeping with her father.

  Carina tiptoed down the hall to her room and opened the door quietly. The latch barely clicked when she shut the door. Crossing the room to her bed, she untied the robe and slid it down her arms, tossing it across the footboard.

  Something moved on the bed. Her heart thudded in her chest. She scanned the shadows at the head of bed.

  “What are you doing in here?” she hissed.

  “I wanted you to fall asleep in my arms.” She could just make out Brock’s eyebrows wiggling as he threw back the covers revealing his naked body and open arms.

  “We can’t do this. Not with Maddie just across the hall.”

  “She’ll fall deep asleep now that she knows I’m home safe.” He waved her forward with his hands.

  Carina hovered at the edge of the bed. She didn’t want to give in. She knew what they’d done in the living room was unacceptable, but had been unavoidable. She’d tried to ignore her attraction to Brock since the day she stepped onto his front porch.

  “Brock, spending the night in your arms might chase away my dreams, but it doesn’t change the facts.” When he didn’t respond, she continued, “You could decide at any time to toss me.” She motioned from her to him. “This would just complicate things. Not the least, what if Maddie finds out.”

  “Marry me.”

  Carina gaped at him. He couldn’t possibly mean what he just said. He was against marriage.

  She looked around for his towel and found his tightie whities instead. Picking them up off the floor, she tossed them to him. “Don’t say that unless you mean it.” She held up a hand when he started to speak. “I won’t marry just so you can have me in your bed.”

  Brock sat up. “You’re good for this family.”

  Carina walked to the head of the bed and brushed his hair up off his forehead. “I’ve become fond of your children and their father, but I can’t. That isn’t a good enough reason to marry anyone. And besides, you don’t want someone like me.”

  Brock wound his arms around her, pulling her down onto the bed. “How do you know what I want?” He kissed her neck and started up her jaw. Shivers of delight tingled her senses.

  “You want a farm woman. Someone who can help you with the cows and give you more children.” She turned, avoiding his lips. She wanted to taste him again, but to give in to one kiss would melt her defenses.

  “I want you.” With that bold statement, he captured her mouth with his. She was lost.

  His quick hands stripped her night slip over her head and elicited pleasure to her body before she had a chance to object—or wonder how he planned to steal out of the room in the morning without Maddie being the wiser.

  ****

  Brock woke with his arms wrapped around Carina. Her body molded to his in a pleasing way, her bottom tucked against his groin already bringing him to life. Looking over at the clock, he groaned. There wasn’t going to be any hanky-panky this morning. He had to get out of this room before Maddie stirred.

  Easing his arm out from under Carina, he felt her move. If she woke up, he’d be tempted to linger in bed. It was a wonderful thought, but not a wise one. Sliding across the bed, he dropped his legs over the edge and picked up his shorts.

  When he had his shorts on, he left the room, quietly walking down the hall to the bathroom. Once inside he breathed a sigh of relief. Maddie wouldn’t think anything of seeing him come out of this room. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Flashes of conversation from the previous night were disjointed between explicit reminders of the affect of Carina’s body against his.

  Marry me . He started. Had he really asked her to marry him? Pulling the shave cream out of the cabinet, he piled a white mound in his hand and stared at it. He didn’t remember her jumping in his arms and shouting, ‘yes’. That was a good thing.

  But then after what they did last night it would be caddish of him not to marry her. His hand shook as he reached for his razor. What if she became pregnant? They hadn’t used anything. Was that why she didn’t want to marry? She was afraid she’d lose another child? He thunked himself in the head and splattered shaving cream all over the mirror.

  Of course that was why she didn’t want to marry. She believed she couldn’t bring a healthy child into the world.

  He’d been thinking with his cock and not his head. Damn! That was the cause of his disastrous marriage to Cindy. But she didn’t like kids. Carina adored Maddie and Tate. If nothing else, marrying her would give the kids what they needed. He smiled. And some good romps in bed for him.

  He was foolish. She deserved more from a marriage than that. She deserved a man who loved her.

  ****

  While in his room dressing, Brock decided to wait and see if Carina brought up his proposal. When he arrived in the kitchen, Maddie already had coffee brewing and bacon frying.

  “Carina’s slow this morning,” she said, not looking up from her task of cracking eggs.

  “Maybe she waited up for me last night,” he replied, hoping guilt didn’t show in his words.

  “She did. I’m surprised you didn’t see her.” The vague comment jerked his head around. Did she know about their romp on the couch?

  “She must have gone to bed before I got here.”

  “Must have.” Maddie looked up at him. The censure in her eyes just about knocked him to his knees. She knew.

  “Maddie…”

  “Daddy, don’t lie to me.” She tossed an empty egg shell on the counter and turned to him. “I know you and Carina like each other.” Her face turned red. “And I know that you slept with her last night.”

  When he started to open his mouth, she held her hand up. “I don’t care. If she makes you and this family happy, I don’t care what people say.” She pointed a finger at him. “But don’t lie to me. Cindy lied to me all the time, and you started doing it too. Until she left. Don’t start it again. I’m old enough now to know the truth.”

  “Freckles, I only lied when Cindy was here to save your feelings.”

  “Well, I’m big enough now you don’t have to save my feelings. I like Carina. And if you don’t ask her to marry you, I’ll…well, I’ll think of something.”

  Brock pulled Maddie into his arms, embracing her and kissing the top of her head. “I already asked her and she refused.” The more he thought about her ref
usal, the more he wondered at her reasons.

  Maddie pulled out of his embrace. “Why? Because of us kids?”

  “No.” Carina’s answer startled both of them.

  “How long have you been standing there?” he asked, straightening and walking toward the woman who’d captured his daughter and gave him the gift of a passion-filled night.

  “Long enough.” She patted his arm and moved past him to stop in front of Maddie. “Honey, I told your father no, because,” she looked at him as if he had the answer, “I don’t belong here.”

  “What do you mean you don’t belong here?” Brock’s anger grew at her insistence she knew better than him.

  “I grew up in the city. I’m only here for a while, just to get my life back in order after…you know.” She turned to him, asking with her eyes not to tell Maddie.

  “A miscarriage isn’t your fault.”

  He thought she was going to hit him. Her hands fisted and her face reddened.

  “Carina, I’m sorry.” Maddie threw her arms around the woman.

  Wiping at the tears trickling down her cheeks, Carina stared daggers at him. “I don’t want sympathy. If I wanted that I’d have stayed in Chicago with my smothering mother and cloying friends.”

  “You need to realize it wasn’t your fault.” Brock poured a cup of coffee and sat at the table.

  “I’d rather not talk about this right now.” Carina moved about the kitchen finishing the breakfast Maddie had started.

  Brock stood and crossed the room to place a hand on Carina’s arm. If Maddie knew they slept together, then he didn’t need to restrain himself from touching Carina. She may have refused to marry him, which he had to admit stung a little even though it also relieved him, but she couldn’t deny the passion that flared between them. When Carina looked at him, he tipped her face up and kissed her full on the lips. She started to pull away, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close.