Microsoft Word - Starter Boyfriend.doc

by Lana Jovanovic

  “It’s pretty funny,” Zoe admitted. “Sure, you have to have an open mind to enjoy it, but…”

  “I have an open mind,” he said quickly as if defending himself. “I’m cool with it—I just wanted to make sure that you were too.”

  “It’s fine,” Zoe nodded, “but I don’t mind leaving, if you have something else you’d like to do—” Colton’s eyes narrowed and she thought she saw the corner of his mouth flick upward.

  “Did you have something in mind, Zoe?” he asked as he rubbed his lips and chin. Zoe didn’t take her eyes away from his mouth. There were a lot of things she’d like to try to do, but she’d never tell him that.

  A gust of cool wind rushed up her back along with a splatter of rain water that soaked through her top and sizzled against her cold skin. The shock of the water and the temperature of the wind pushed Zoe Colton’s arms. With a gasp of shock, she twisted around to see how wet she’d become and only noticed a few damp spots at the small of her back.

  “Not too bad,” Colton’s voice murmured close to Zoe’s ear. She turned slowly and looked up at him. His hair fell lightly against his forehead, shadowing the depth of his eyes, but not enough to hide the fact that he was staring at her funny. “Your hair’s a little wet,” he touched a strand and together they watched the end curl up around the pad of his finger.

  Zoe felt immobilized standing so near to him. She knew she should probably step back a little, but she couldn’t, not when he was holding her hair, not when his lips slowly parted and his head dipped closer to hers, not when the heat from his chest burned a hole in her palm and the tightness of his fingers gripping her sent goose bumps across her skin.

  “We could leave,” Colton murmured. “I don’t know where we could go, but… we could go.”

  Zoe didn’t want to go anywhere.

  She lifted her eyes to his and smiled, uncertainly, shyly, and then looked down at his mouth again. He sighed, his fingers moving slowly from her side around the small of her back where his palm pressed flat to pull her hips closer to him. She shifted closer, moving up on her toes, turning her body toward his. And as she lifted her eyes to meet his once more, to send him an encouraging gaze, Colton was suddenly jostled from behind and plowed into her. His arm wound around her quickly, but the embrace only lasted a moment before Colton turned away from Zoe to see who pushed him.

  “I’m so sorry!” A man exclaimed as he grabbed Colton’s shoulder. “It was an accident—

  are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?”

  “Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Colton stammered. “You?”

  “Yeah,” The man laughed nervously. “Just feeling a bit stupid, I wasn’t looking where I was going—many apologies.” The man smiled at Zoe and then took the arm of another and the headed off into the rain.

  Colton sighed and turned back toward Zoe, his arm dropping from around her waist. She took a deep breath to control the sudden flutter of her nerves and smiled. Colton rubbed his mouth again and then pointed behind him. “So… why don’t we go finish watching the play?”

  Zoe nodded and took the arm he extended to her. She noticed when he didn’t wrap his fingers around hers like he had been all night, and was aware that he was sitting a little stiffly in his seat. He didn’t relax for the rest of the evening; he didn’t even laugh at hysterical parts in the play. He just sat at her side with a far away look and a worried expression etched across his handsome face. She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she wasn’t sure where to start, so instead, she reached over and tentatively wrapped her fingers around his.

  In the darkened theater, his eyes met hers. He smiled and drew her hand completely into his, but no matter how warm the embrace, his eyes were still far, far away. Zoe desperately wanted to bring him back to the place they had found standing together under the theater awning, but she wasn’t sure how and had no idea where to start.

  --

  Lesson Eight: “Can’t stand the heat in the kitchen—get a little closer to the fire.”

  Colton climbed slowly out of the driver’s seat of his work truck and wiped sweat from his brow to the back of his hand. It was unseasonably hot for mid-April in New York. The rain that had rushed in during his date Friday night had been quickly followed by intense humidity and heat come Monday. Colton spent most Mondays out at his clients’ homes and businesses to check on the status of new projects and to take care of any problems.

  So instead of working inside the cool air condition of his shop workroom, he’d spent nine hours under the bright sun working to the point of exhaustion and a pounding headache.

  He didn’t mind the physical toll of the work at all; it helped him figure out the increasing uncertainty he felt after spending another evening with Zoe.

  He learned one important thing Friday night: He was intensely attracted Zoe. Attracted with such ferocity that all he had thought about during the second half of that ridiculous Banana Hammock play, and while he walked her home under a lightly dripping sky, was kissing her senseless and easing himself into her apartment, into her bed, into her heart.

  Such sexual thoughts filled him with two kinds of guilt—guilt that he was somehow betraying Cara and guilt that he was physically drawn to Zoe in any regard. Zoe deserved someone who didn’t daydream about getting her into bed or think about how intense making love to her would be. Zoe needed someone who thought of her under more tame situations—someone didn’t think about how sexy she was all the time. She needed someone who liked her for her personality, and while he did like her for the intelligent, quirky, shy creature she was, his body betrayed him all the time. If she ever caught on to that, he’d just be some guy like all of the other guys in the world.

  He wanted to be different.

  He wanted to be “the one” for someone. Maybe that someone was Zoe or maybe she was Cara. He didn’t know, and he wanted to find out. But not too quickly. He was glad their near kiss had been interrupted. He had become so aroused just sitting next to her that he knew one kiss would have probably been his undoing. He had been willing to take that chance—to ruin the fine friendship that they were creating by turning things physical—

  by kissing her. That man jolted him back into the present. After thinking about it, Colton realized that if their kiss had been as amazing as he thought it would be, he would have tried his hardest to convince her to go to bed with him. Then she would have assumed that all he cared about was how he could satisfy himself physically.

  He didn’t want to lose another woman in his life.

  So to calm down and keep things platonic, Colton had kept distant from Zoe for the rest of the night. He ended their evening with a little hug and a pat on the arm. He’d seen the confusion and maybe disappointment in her eyes as she entered her building. He hated disappointing her and had wanted to take it all away with a kiss that he knew they both wanted. He almost did by quickly stepping up the stoop toward her, but, as if by a heavenly blessing, the rain picked up and fell in heavy buckets. He left promising that he’d call and then had hurried to the curb to hail a cab. He hadn’t looked back as the cabbie drove off and he hadn’t called her either.

  Separation was the key to taming the lusty feelings, he decided; separation and extreme physical labor. Colton spent the weekend planting trees and shrubs and laying stone slabs in a few Hampton gardens. The harder he worked the less he thought about Zoe and his more carnal needs. Plus, it was easier to fall asleep at night and not think about sex when he was physically drained.

  He carried his hard weekend work through the start of the week and was now feeling the biting sting of fatigued muscles. Pushing open the back door of his business, he stepped into the workshop and closed his eyes at the feel of the cold air on his hot skin. Sadly, despite his best efforts of really exhausting himself, the moment he was in out of the sun and had time to relax his mind shifted to Zoe. Instead of organizing heavy bags of soil and fertilizer to forget about her, he decided to check in with Jamie to make sure things were going well in the
front shop.

  Colton proceeded to the next room where they kept inventory and other supplies, and as he walked through the door he was shocked to find Minnie sitting on the floor surrounded by opened cardboard boxes, bubble wrap, and packing peanuts. She was removing the bubble wrap from a royal blue vase, which she set on the shelf with matching vases.

  There were boxes everywhere and his once empty shelves—thanks to Minnie’s destructive episode weeks ago—were now full flower pots and other containers.

  Colton saw much more of his sister since he’d started taking Zoe out. He was starting to become suspicious of her constant appearance in his life. Not that he minded her being around, he and Minnie had a much better relationship than he and Preston. Colton liked her company most of the time, but now her presence just made his stomach hurt with anxiety.

  Minnie looked up at he approached and smiled. She pulled a new vase from the box and began to peel back the clear tape that held the bubble wrap around the glass.

  “Minnie, what are you doing here?” He tried to keep himself calm, but physical exhaustion tended to bring out irritability and he wasn’t in the mood for a Zoe lecture.

  “I told Jamie to call me when your shipment of new vases came in,” Minnie answered. “I wanted to inventory them and put them away for you—it’s the least I can do.” She paused what she was doing to really look at him. “Wow, Colt, you look torn up—you okay?”

  “Exhausted,” he answered as he looked over the boxes and the vases she’d already shelved. “Thanks, you didn’t have to do this.”

  “Yes, I did,” Minnie said firmly. “And I gave Jamie a check to pay for some of the damage—she already took it to the bank to be cashed. I’m almost done here. I’m supposed to pick up Paige from school—band rehearsal or something—and then we’re going to go to Zoe’s for a bit.”

  Colton was instantly on guard. He waited for Minnie to ask him if he wanted to tag along, or worse, about his date. He waited for her to tell him not to be scared to take a chance on Zoe. He waited for other pointless encouraging words she’d been spouting at him for the past few weeks. Shockingly, she didn’t say anything. Minnie focused on removing bubble wrap from another vase.

  “This one’s nice,” she said as she examined the bright red bowl in her hands.

  “That’s it?” Colton asked firmly.

  Minnie turned to look at him. She raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow into the air and blinked. “Is what it?”

  “That’s all you’re going to say about Zoe?” Colton asked. “That you’re taking Paige to her apartment?”

  “Yeah,” Minnie answered with a laugh. “What else should I say?” Colton crossed his arms over his chest and waited. He knew she was going to say something else—scold him for not calling like he said he would, tell him that Cara was never coming back so it was pointless for him to pine after her. Minnie would say something about such things. His sister wasn’t capable of butting out of anyone’s business, she really wasn’t.

  “You’re not going to say anything else?” His irritated voice stilled Minnie’s hands. She turned her full attention on him, her eyes clearly worried and cautious.

  “No, there’s nothing else to say,” Minnie answered. “Besides, Zoe asked Paige and me not to really be involved in your dating life or offer up our opinions anymore. We’re only supposed to talk if you ask for our opinion or want to talk about anything. Do you… want to talk about something?”

  “No.” Colton said firmly.

  He was glad that Zoe had spoken with Minnie and Paige about their obtrusive involvement. He and Zoe had needed a little push to get together, but they didn’t need hand holding. Colton had been planning to talk to Minnie about butting out, he was glad that he didn’t have to now.

  “I don’t need to talk about anything.”

  That was a lie, but he needed to find a more objective person to talk to about the things he was trying to work out in his head.

  “Okay, that’s fine,” Minnie smiled as she unwrapped another red bowl. “Just know that I’m here if you do want to talk to me about Zoe. Or if you need advice with anything.” Suddenly Colton was frustrated again. He felt like Minnie was saying more than she was and it aggravated him that she wasn’t listening.

  “I don’t need advice—and I will call her, okay?” Minnie held up her palms in surrender, “Chill out… I didn’t say anything about calling.”

  “I know what you’re thinking!” Colton exclaimed. His heart was starting to pound in sync with the painful pulse at his temples. He rubbed the back of his neck, grimacing at the grimy dirt he felt there. He was hot, sticky, dirty, and tired. The longer he stood there talking with his little sister, the more frustrated he became. He didn’t like feeling that way.

  “I can see it in your eyes,” he snapped at her. “I know you, Minnie.” Minnie’s eyebrow shot up a bit more. She stared at him for a moment and then turned her attention back on the vases. She worked silently while he stood a few feet away with his arms crossed over his chest, his foot nervously tapping.

  “I’m gonna call!”

  “Okay,” Minnie murmured.

  “I just… I’ve been a little busy…”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  Something in side of him snapped—he wasn’t sure what. “What’s that supposed to mean!” Colton shouted.

  “For Christ’s sake, chill out!” Minnie shouted back. Her eyes flared with intense rage and her fingers curled around the bowl she was holding. He knew that if he riled her up too much she’d chunk it at him. They were close enough that she’d hit him with no problem.

  Colton couldn’t help himself though; he was spinning out of control, so full of emotions that he just didn’t want to deal anything anymore.

  “I’ve been busy,” he snapped.

  Minnie slammed the bowl on to the shelf so hard others around it tinkled together. She twisted around more and glared up at him.

  “I didn’t say anything and my silence didn’t imply that I was saying anything. God, what the hell is wrong with you? Why you all twisted up? I didn’t come here to talk about Zoe; I came to help you out. I know you’ve been working hard and I know you’re confused, but really, chill out.”

  Colton opened his mouth to defend himself more, but stopped when the door from the front of the shop swung open and Paige appeared. He couldn’t help it—seeing her frustrated the hell out of him. He had to turn around and take several deep breaths before the desire to kick them both out of his business disappeared.

  “IT WORKED!” Paige squealed with delight and spun around on her little sneakers.

  Colton turned and watched as she danced around the boxes happily; the skirt of her uniform frilling out like a bell, her hair—styled in uncharacteristically flat, smooth, wispy strands—jutted out like helicopter blades. She stopped spinning and dumped her heavy book bag on the ground. Reaching back she pulled her hair in front of her shoulders and ran her fingers through the strands petting them lovingly.

  “It worked,” She said breathlessly. “It stayed flat all day long!”

  “It looks great!” Minnie smiled happily. “It looks really great, Paige, I almost didn’t recognize you!”

  “I know, it’s fantastic! I feel like I could be in Seventeen magazine.” Paige pressed the calm ends of her hair to her lips and spun around again. “And guess what else… he spoke to me today. He actually smiled and spoke to me—guess what he said, Minnie.”

  “What?” Minnie pulled her knees to her chest and hid her smile in them. Seeing his sister’s joy in Paige caused Colton to relax. She was so rarely pleased by things. Besides, he could never be too upset with Minnie—she made it very difficult.

  “He said: Great hair, Red, looks hot.” Paige began to squeal as she hopped up and down.

  “He called me hot! Ohmigod, I can’t wait to tell Zoe! Thanks so much for getting me the flat iron, it totally the best present ever! My mom just didn’t care about my hair before.

  She didn’t understand
how socially unacceptable I was.” Paige paused in twirling, wrapped her arms around her impossibly thin body, and hugged herself hard.

  In a dreamy voice, she sighed: “Clint Masterson, the cutest boy on the bus, told me that I look hot. This is the best day ever!”

  “I’m happy for you,” Minnie said as she reached into the last cardboard box and took out two bowls. “I’m almost done here and then we’ll head out and go see Zoe. Say hi to Colton.”

  Paige twirled to face him. “Hi!”

  “Hi Paige,” Colton smiled. “You do look nice today.”

  She looked like she’d had her hair professionally styled and blow dried. Gone was the puff of red, frizzy troll-doll hair, and in its place was something far tamer and sleeker looking. However, the new hair style did absolutely nothing to tame Paige’s naturally excited state.

  “Thanks, I feel nice,” she gathered up her hair and ran her fingers through it. She watched him for a moment or two and then turned back to Minnie.

  Like Minnie, Paige didn’t ask him anything about Zoe or inquire if he had a good time on his date. She just stood there bouncing back and forth while waiting for Minnie to finish up. While Minnie finished up, Colton busied himself by breaking down the boxes that she’d already unpacked. He listened to Paige tell Minnie about her day and about all the compliments she’d received on her hair. She occasionally looked over at him and when he was certain that she was about to ask him something about Zoe, she’d launch into another tale about her hair.

  While Colton welcomed not being pestered all the time, it was scary to think that he’d be alone in all of this. Sure he’d ask for help if he really needed it, but he supposed part of him was encouraged by their pestering. If there was no one to encourage him, would he even make another move?