Emma's Secret

by A. P. Jensen

  Her heart sank when he didn’t move, didn’t speak. Was he relieved? Angry? She couldn’t tell.

  “Don’t you think this is something we should talk about?” he asked finally.

  She shook her head. “No. I was hoping we could stay friends.”

  “Friends?” The force of his voice was so explosive, she jumped. “Emma, you’re going way overboard here. You just said you’re not angry and now you’re breaking up with me? Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

  She gripped her hands together. “I’m not angry. I just realized we’re not meant to be together. I was hoping we could part on good terms. I mean, we enjoy each other. We’re friends.”

  “We’re a hell of a lot more than friends! We’ve been lovers for a year! That’s the longest relationship I’ve been in!” He rose and paced towards the window and back. “Jesus, I forget one thing and you’re ready to break up with me. What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “I haven’t seen you for a month,” she said defensively.

  “I’ve been busy!” he spat, still pacing.

  “This isn’t the first time you’ve put business before me.”

  He jabbed a finger in her direction. “So that’s what this is about. I own a huge company. I’m bound to miss a few things.”

  “Yes, you are. That’s why I’m breaking this off.”

  Why was he making this harder than it needed to be? Shouldn’t he just shrug and walk out? Isn’t that what guys do? It’s what Ben did. What was the matter with him? Maybe she was the first to break up with him. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t taking it well.

  “You’re breaking up with me because I missed a couple of dinners?” he asked with such scorn, she flushed.

  It was her turn to jump up from the chair. He was turning it all on her, trying to make her feel like she was wrong when he was the one who couldn’t keep his commitments. “I’m breaking up with you because this is bound to keep happening. Why are you fighting with me about this?”

  “Why?” He came toe to toe with her. “Because you’re overreacting.”

  She didn’t back away. “Fine. You can think whatever you want. I’m overreacting. You don’t want to be with an irrational female. Goodbye.”

  Even as the words flew out of her mouth, she inwardly wrung her hands. This was turning out ten times worse than she imagined. Why were they yelling at each other? Walk away, she told her body, but it seemed drawn like a magnet to the man nearly vibrating with fury.

  “What’s gotten into you?”

  She gave his chest a shove that made no impact on him whatsoever. “There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s you-” she stopped herself and shook her head. “There’s no point in this. We both need to move on.”

  “Move on?”

  “Yes. Move on. It’s going to be a new year. We can both start off fresh.”

  “There must be more to what you’re saying. You’re just telling me out of the blue that we’re over?”

  “You care for me like you care for your car. When it has trouble you fix it. You like its convenience, but you forget about it most of the time because it’ll be where you left it.”

  “I care,” he insisted.

  She sighed, “I think you do but-”

  “But what?”

  “I want someone who’s here- someone who doesn’t forget dinners and anniversaries. Someone present.”

  “I work in the city. You need to understand that.”

  “I do! That’s why I’m breaking it off. I need someone here.”

  “You’re not making sense,” he muttered.

  Emma spread her hands, bewildered. “You must have known this was coming.”

  “Do I look like I knew this was coming?” he shouted.

  “Don’t yell at me!” Her blue eyes speared him. “You think I haven’t felt you holding back from me? You’ve been doing it for months. It’s time for us to let this go.”

  “I want you in my life! Why do you think I keep coming back to you?”

  “Sex.”

  “I can have sex any time I want it,” he said and froze.

  He saw hurt flicker over her face, but she didn’t break eye contact.

  “I know you can.”

  He started towards her. “I didn’t mean that.”

  She held up a hand and this time, he stopped. “You’re one of the most eligible bachelors in the city. You can have anyone you want. I don’t know why you keep coming back to Bellingham, but sooner or later, you’ll get tired of me. One of us has to end it.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I want you.”

  She shook her head. “You’ll get over it.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus, I come here because you’re the only one that doesn’t pressure me for anything. You’re not asking me how much money I rake in, where our relationship is going or even when I’ll be back. You just go with the flow.”

  “We don’t even sound like a normal couple,” she moaned.

  “I can’t say anything right. You mean something to me, you must know that.”

  You mean something to me, she thought. Emma remembered the way Leo watched Georgina, the way Tommy went out of his way for Anna. She thought of her parents and the way they doted on each other. It wasn’t enough. She deserved more, right? She deserved someone who was crazy about her. She and Peter had crazy chemistry, but they tiptoed around each other’s emotions and were careful not to intrude over invisible boundaries. Anger and hurt swirled in her chest, making it hard to breathe. Couldn’t he see past what she was saying? She cared too much and he didn’t care enough.

  “You mean a lot to me too,” she said in a hollow voice. “But our relationship isn’t based on anything concrete. We see each other whenever your schedule allows and we’ve never gone further.”

  “Is that why you’re calling us off? Because you haven’t gotten a commitment from me?” Peter said angrily. “Okay, what do you want?”

  I want you to love me, to be here because I need you! “I’m not asking for anything.”

  “So instead of telling me what you need, you break up with me? You’re acting crazy.”

  “Peter, you know what I’m saying is true. We don’t have that kind of relationship-” she began when he hauled her against him and covered her mouth with his.

  She tried to push him away, but his tongue delved into her mouth and she was engulfed in desire. Her mind shrieked at her that this wasn’t a good idea, that great sex wasn’t enough, but her body didn’t care. She was so starved for touch- she would deal with the pain later. Peter boosted her up and pinned her to the wall. She wrapped one arm around his neck as he unbelted her robe. Her body was engulfed in heat. His hand slipped between her legs and she moaned.

  “When did you decide to break up with me?”

  “Peter,” she gasped and wrapped one hand around his wrist.

  “When?” he challenged.

  Her eyes sparked with need and fury. “Yesterday.”

  “So you already knew you were going to dump me when you took me to bed.”

  Their eyes locked as he positioned himself and slid into her. Emma caught her breath and clenched inner muscles. The tendons in his neck stood out and the hand gripping her ass clenched.

  “You want me just as much as I want you,” he breathed and rolled his hips.

  She gasped and bit her lower lip. When she would have closed her eyes against him, he commanded her to keep them open. She obeyed helplessly. She wrapped her legs around his waist and clutched his shoulders. He slowly thrust in and out of her. When she let out an impatient sound, his eyes glinted and he took her hard and fast. When she climaxed, she raked her nails down his back. He arched against her and came. Peter slumped against her and lowered her until her feet touched the ground. She shook uncontrollably against him. She couldn’t stop the way her hands clutched him to her. They panted for breath and when he looked down at her, his eyes were narrowed with temper. He pulled out of her slowly, making her shiver.

&
nbsp; She leaned against the wall for support and pulled the edges of her robe together. Although they’d just had each other, she felt the cold begin to invade her bones again. Peter never looked at her like this before. It was a mixture of betrayal and loathing.

  “You want us to be over, so be it,” he said.

  He walked upstairs. She trembled against the wall and wrapped her arms around herself. She heard him rummaging around and a minute later, he reappeared. He shrugged into a shirt and fastened his pants. He didn’t look at her as he slammed the door on his way out. The brief gust of frigid air that burst into the house made her shudder. She was alone again. It was what she wanted. It was better this way, right?

  CHAPTER SIX

  Anna walked into the bakery at three in the morning to find Emma pulling out her first batch of almond poppy seed muffins. Emma only baked when she was upset. Anna’s lips tightened, but she didn’t comment as she shrugged out of her jacket and got her apron. As Anna arranged muffins on a tray, she glanced at the dark circles under Emma’s eyes. Her usually animated face was blank.

  “What happened?” Anna asked quietly.

  Emma shook her head, not ready to talk and kept moving around the kitchen. Anna let her stew for half an hour before she stepped into Emma’s path and wrapped her arms around her.

  “Are you okay?”

  Emma nodded. “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not. You broke up with him?”

  Emma nodded.

  “Do you want him back?”

  Emma shook her head violently, though her eyes were filled with conflicting emotions. “We’re better off apart.”

  Anna squeezed her hands. “Are you sure this has nothing to do with the anniversary of your parent’s death?”

  “I guess it has something to do with it, but you can hardly call what we have a relationship. He hardly remembers me!”

  “How did he take it?”

  Emma blushed and then paled. “He was angry, but in the end, he agreed.”

  Anna’s eyes widened. “He agreed?”

  Emma got back to work. Anna wanted to grill her, but she saw the hurt brewing beneath the surface. For the next hour, neither spoke as they moved around the kitchen in perfect harmony, baking the pastries for the day. They were both lost in troubled thoughts. When the last sheets were put in the oven, Emma set the timer and moved to the coffee pot. Anna sipped her coffee and leaned against the counter, waiting.

  Emma sighed. “I saw Ben.”

  Anna spewed coffee over the floor. “What?! When? Where?”

  “Yesterday. At the graveyard.”

  “What did he say? What did you say?” Anna demanded.

  “He said he was sorry, he didn’t know what to do that night, he still loves me,” Emma said tonelessly.

  Anna set aside her mug and rubbed Emma’s stiff back.

  “We argued. I don’t know what to do about him. I don’t think I can forgive him. When I saw him, all I could hear was what he said to me that night and remember him walking away while I held my mom and begged him to help. And Peter… I love him, but he doesn’t know what my favorite flower is or how I like my coffee.” When Anna looked confused, Emma waved it aside. “I’ll get over Peter.”

  “Why didn’t you call me? Geez, Ben and Peter? I don’t know why you even came into work,” Anna said, shaking her head.

  “I don’t want to be at home right now.”

  Anna nodded, understanding softening her face. “Georgina will be keeping us busy with her wedding. Not only are we making her cake and desserts, we’re also her bridesmaids. We have fittings and favors to make on top of running the bakery.”

  Emma was cheered by this information. Anything to keep her busy was better than going home and remembering the way Peter looked at her before he left. “Bring it on.”

  Derek slammed Peter’s office door open. Peter didn’t look up from the computer. He continued to type as Derek stalked over and slammed his hands down on the desk.

  “Okay, I give up. This has to stop!” Derek declared. “You’re working yourself to death. I’ll drive you to Bellingham myself!”

  Peter didn’t react or look at his friend. He continued to scowl at the computer screen.

  “I mean it, Peter. It’s been a month since you saw the baker chick, you look like crap and you haven’t said a word to anyone.”

  Derek waited for a response and received nothing. He walked to an outlet in the corner and unplugged the computer. Peter erupted from his chair, grabbed his friend by the shirt and hauled him close.

  “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You want me in the city, working my life away so we can get richer. I’m doing it, so leave me alone,” Peter hissed.

  Peter released his friend and plugged the computer back in. Derek hitched himself on the corner of Peter’s desk and examined him closely. He usually reserved his intuition and observations for business, but he was worried about his best friend. It was Peter’s own fault for taking on so much work that Derek had time to hassle him. Peter’s normally messy office was so neat, Derek suspected he was cleaning it when he had nothing to do. Peter’s hair was rumpled as if he kept running his hands through it, his suit was wrinkled and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.

  “What the hell happened to you?” Derek demanded.

  No response.

  “Did something happen between you and the baker chick?” Derek ventured uncomfortably.

  Peter’s eyes flicked to him and the anger there told Derek all he needed to know. He held his hands up.

  “Hey, I’m your friend. I’m just trying to help.”

  “You can help by leaving me the hell alone,” Peter growled.

  “Is she pregnant or something?”

  Peter jerked as if he’d been shot. He stared at Derek for a full minute before he shook his head.

  “No. She didn’t say so.”

  “Oh.” Derek raked his mind for another possibility. “She cheat on you?”

  Peter gave him a baleful look. “She dumped me.”

  Derek hooted with laughter and slapped the desk. “For who?”

  Peter glared. “No one. I forgot about her on our anniversary. She says she needs someone who lives in Bellingham, someone present.”

  “Does she know who you are?” Derek asked incredulously.

  “She doesn’t care who I am.”

  “Doesn’t care?” Derek repeated, uncomprehending. “All women care about money.”

  “She has her own money.”

  Peter’s hand tightened into a fist on the desk. He’d been blind sided when she said she wanted to break up with him. He knew she had a right to be angry with him, but to flat out break up with him after loving him through the night seemed so… cold. Fury caused him to show her what she was giving up, but it was he who ached for her. He was haunted by that vulnerable look on her face as she watched him leave. She craved him, cared for him, yet she broke up with him. Why? It didn’t make sense.

  Since leaving her, he was forced to admit he took her for granted. He assumed he could keep his distance from her and come back whenever he wanted her. Emma never whined or expected anything from him. He knew he was at fault for some things, but why hadn’t she talked anything over with him instead of ending it? Normally, breaking up was a bluff to get a guy’s attention, to have him correct his actions, but in Emma’s case- she wasn’t playing a game. She meant it. She slept with him, calmly told him they were over and hoped they could be friends. What bullshit.

  Emma didn’t fight to keep him- she let him go as if the past year hadn’t meant anything to her. That stung. He couldn’t figure out the undercurrents in her mood when he’d been there. He sensed something else was going on, but he was completely at sea as to what that could be. He wondered if her bakery was in trouble, but Tommy cleared that up quickly. If it weren’t money, what would compel her to kick him out of her life and start over? He was missing something huge, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

  “You�
��re scaring me,” Derek said bluntly.

  Peter glanced at his friend. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re not.”

  “I will be.”

  “Do you, uh, like um, love her?” Derek coughed.

  Peter stared at him for a long moment before he shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “But you want her?” Derek was on more stable ground now, basic concepts he understood.

  Peter hesitated for the briefest second before he said, “Yes.”

  “Well, what are you doing moping in Seattle?”

  “She broke up with me,” Peter said sourly.

  Derek raised his brows. “When have you ever taken no for an answer?”

  Peter didn’t want to admit how battered he felt by Emma’s words and actions. He turned his chair and looked out of the floor to ceiling windows that lined his office. He tapped his fingers thoughtfully on the arm of the chair. Emma desired him, but pushed him away. It slapped at his pride. Yes, he forgot their anniversary and he only made it down to Bellingham once a month, but she accepted that until now. What changed?

  “This is why I only have one night stands. Seeing you like this is depressing.” Derek dug in Peter’s desk drawers for something to eat. He came up with a bag of Doritos. He ripped open the bag and crunched noisily.

  “Do you remember their faces?” Peter asked.

  Derek munched thoughtfully. “For the most part.”

  “You’re a bastard.”

  “I’ll never be anything else.” Derek slid off the desk and headed towards the door. “I don’t expect to see you until you’ve either worked her out of your system or come back with her.”

  “Come back with her?”

  “If you manage to sweet talk her, you’re going to have to give her more than you gave before. Did you ever ask her to move to the city?” Derek asked with his mouth full.

  Peter raised his brows. “For someone who’s never been in a relationship, you seem to know what I’m supposed to do next.”

  “Women are all the same. Weren’t you invited to a wedding in Bellingham this weekend?” Derek asked with a shudder.