Whisper of Surrender

by Melanie Shawn

  The white logo punctuated with a heart popped up on her screen.

  What are you looking for? Jess silently read the question.

  “What am I looking for?”

  Even to her own ears, it sounded like a loaded question. She clicked the boxes that provided the most general terms of her qualifications.

  Gender: Men. As much as she’d sometimes wished she could bat for the other team because it would give her more options, she was strictly dickly.

  Age range. She hesitated before selecting. At twenty-eight she had no desire to date anyone younger than her, nor did she want to date anyone that much older than her. She chose twenty-eight to thirty-two, but then she worried she was limiting her options too much.

  Online dating was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Some people, like those “not actors” on the commercial, were lucky and got pricked on their first attempt while others (herself included) couldn’t seem to get pricked no matter how much searching they did.

  But what was her alternative? Not only was the Whisper Lake dating pool the size of a dog bowl, it was also limited to people that she’d either known her entire life or knew everything about because any newcomers were immediately vetted and their life stories were loaded on the gossip train and distributed through town.

  This time of year there was always a new crop of tourists, but she considered them more of a fling-type situation. They generally didn’t come to the lake to find true love. She checked out the drop-down menu options. Her choices were committed relationship, casual relationship, or just here for fun.

  It was an odd thing to ponder considering up until a couple of years ago, she’d been living on borrowed time. When you never expect to see thirty, planning for the future isn’t necessary.

  But since receiving her new heart, and lease on life everything had changed. It had taken a little bit to adjust. But she was starting to.

  The honest answer was that what she wanted was the kind of true love that was as rare as a unicorn. Some people didn’t believe that the magical beasts existed, but she’d grown up in the same house as the single-horned creature in the form of her happily married parents.

  John and Bonnie Myers were hashtag-relationship-goals. People always commented on how strong their relationship was. Some had even asked her if they were really like that or if they were different at home. The honest answer was yes, they were different at home. At home, they were worse. They were even sweeter and showed even more PDA.

  Jess couldn’t count the number of times she’d seen her dad playfully swat her mom’s rear or how many times she’d witnessed her mom snuggle up to her dad on the couch. They were like teenagers who couldn’t keep their hands off of each other, and they were celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary in two weeks.

  It was an incredible relationship to witness, but they did set the bar high.

  Her phone buzzed, and she looked down to see the man whose face lit up every time her mother walked into a room.

  “Hey, Daddio!”

  “Hey, baby girl. Did you get my message?”

  “Do you mean the one you left at nine-sixteen on Tuesday night?” Jess lowered her voice to mimic, okay mock, her father.

  John Myers was a man of habit. Each voicemail he left, he made sure to include his name, the day, and the time of the message because that was what he’d done in the days of answering machines, new technology be damned.

  “You think you’re real funny, don’t you?”

  “What?” Jess asked innocently.

  “You know you have an appointment with Dr. Richmond tomorrow.”

  “Yes, dad. I know. I’m the one that told you, remember?” It had been three months since her last appointment, and although everything had been good then, she still got butterflies thinking about going in.

  “I can take you.”

  “It’s okay, Dad.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “I know, but it’s fine.” As much as Jess appreciated her father’s unending support, it could be a little much sometimes.

  Growing up, her dad was always watching her, just waiting for her lips to turn blue or her breathing pattern to change. As a kid, she just wanted to be a kid. She didn’t want to be reminded all of the time that she was sick, even if she felt sick all of the time. She didn’t need it reflected in the faces of the people around her.

  Of course, she knew that it hadn’t been his intention to upset her, but there were times it had felt almost as suffocating as her condition.

  “You know, just because you’re an adult now doesn’t mean you have to do this alone. Your mom and I are here if you need us.”

  “I know.” And she appreciated it.

  “Speaking of your mother, she said something about some questions for a game at the party.”

  “Yes! You and mom are going to play the Newlywed Game. Brynn is coming up with the questions.”

  Brynn was her other best friend. The third musketeer. When Jess had mentioned that she was throwing her parents an anniversary party, Brynn immediately offered to help.

  “I don’t understand why we’re even doing it. Your mom and I are not newlyweds,” her dad complained.

  John Myers was a fun, outgoing guy that had no problem being in front of a crowd if he had a speech to give or some other purpose, but he was also shy and hated unnecessary attention. When she’d mentioned the idea to her mom, who was also shy but not in the same way, she’d thought it would be fun.

  “Yes dad, you’re not newlyweds. Mom’s been putting up with you for forty years so if she wants to play a game. I think it’s the least you could do.”

  “She’s been putting up with me? Oh, and I guess because your mother’s perfect it’s been a walk in the park for me?” he teased.

  It was a running joke in the family that Jess thought her mother was perfect. She did, but that was because she was.

  “You’re right.” Jess agreed, knowing exactly how to push his buttons. “I’m sure it’s been torture being with her all these years. I can’t believe you lasted this long with her—”

  Her dad took the bait and cut her off, “I don’t know what I would do without your mother.”

  He talked a big game, but he worshiped her mom and could never follow through on any derogatory statements about her, even as a joke—even though he did maintain she wasn’t perfect.

  “Good, so I guess playing a game isn’t too much to ask?”

  “Jessa Nicole.”

  She knew she’d won when her dad used her first and middle name.

  Figuring it was getting close to time to leave, she glanced over at the clock and gasped. She was late. “I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow after I see the doctor.”

  “I can take you. I don’t mind.” He tried again.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow, Dad. I love you. Bye.”

  “I love you, baby girl.”

  The phone disconnected and she stood, downed the cocktail of prescriptions she’d be on for the rest of her life, rinsed out her cup, and grabbed her purse as she hustled out the door. As much as people liked to tease Jess because she was always late, it wasn’t intentional. She tried to be on time, but somehow it never quite worked out that way.

  Take this morning. She’d gotten up on time and had been right on schedule until she sat down to have her second cup of coffee. A couple of phone calls later and she was fifteen minutes late.

  Thankfully, she was her own boss as co-owner of The Mane Attraction, so the only person that could fire her was her business partner Amelia, who was very aware that she was punctually-challenged before they decided to take over the salon.

  Technically, the salon was supposed to be open from ten to six, but she never scheduled a client before ten-thirty because, like Ali and her cooking, Jess was well aware of her shortcomings. Thankfully, Amelia, was punctual, organized, and had a head for numbers. They were the perfect pair.

  Even though she was in a hurry, she paused after opening her front door
and did a quick scan down both sides of the street. The coast was clear.

  She hurriedly stepped onto her porch, then shut and locked the door behind her. She hightailed it to her car, making sure to keep her head down until a magnet force caused it to raise, and she saw the one person she’d hoped to avoid.

  Ethan Steele in his basketball shorts, tennis shoes, and no shirt. He ran with the grace of a cheetah and the power of a lion. The sunlight shone down on him, highlighting the thin sheen of sweat that covered his shoulders and torso. He looked like he belonged at a Men’s Health cover shoot.

  Jess cursed beneath her breath even as her mouth watered from the sight.

  Damn. Now, she’d spend the rest of the day with visions of his muscular calves, rippled abs, and chiseled back popping up in her head like computer viruses.

  He’d been running by her house several times a week for over a year now. And although she couldn’t prove it, she was sure that Ethan was orchestrating his morning workout to coincide with the time she left for work to mess with her.

  The most frustrating part about that was, it was working.

  CHAPTER 2

  Ethan Steele made sure to keep his eyes focused straight ahead as he ran past Jess’s house. When he’d turned the corner and seen her locking her door, he gave himself one moment to appreciate the curve of her backside that was on display in her form-fitting black pants. Her dark hair was pulled up exposing the smooth curve of her neck down to her shoulder. His eyes briefly traced the area that had always driven him crazy before swooping lower to the angel wing tattoo that lined her shoulder blade. But when he saw her start to turn he forced his gaze back on the sidewalk in front of him.

  Jessa Myers dressed in a burlap sack would be difficult for him to ignore but it was near impossible when she was decked out in the pinup clothes that had been her signature style since she was a teenager. She was a flame, and he was a moth. She drew him in like nothing and no one else in his life and even though he was sure that he was going to end up getting burned, he couldn’t resist the pull she had on him.

  He did manage not to glance in her direction as he ran by, but only because he knew it drove her crazy when he ignored her on his runs. He knew that because he’d overheard her telling her best friend Ali that it did over a year ago when the two women were an aisle over at the grocery store.

  “Why do you care if he runs by your house?”

  Ali’s question had caught Ethan’s attention since he’d changed his running route to include a detour down Jess’s street after she’d undergone a heart transplant. At the time he’d been worried and wanted to check on her, but since she wasn’t the kind of woman that appreciated that kind of gesture, he’d known he needed an excuse to even be in the vicinity.

  The first day he’d stopped by during his morning run, and her mom had answered the door. They’d chatted for a little bit, and she thanked him for checking in. The second day her dad came to the door, he’d been less talkative, but Ethan knew it was because he’d been worried about Jess. He could see the fear in the man’s eyes. He recognized it because it was exactly what he’d been feeling at the time.

  He hadn’t gone up to the door again, but for some reason it made him feel better to run by her house. Just seeing it and knowing she was inside made him feel better. Sometimes he’d get lucky and pass by just as she was leaving for work.

  So, when he’d heard them at Lakeside Market, he made sure to stay out of sight as he eavesdropped on their conversation.

  “I care because I know he’s doing it to piss me off,” Jess spat back at Ali.

  He’d grinned when he’d heard that, loving that Jess thought she had his number, and also loving that she couldn’t prove it.

  “Or maybe he’s just trying to stay in shape,” Ali, sweet Ali, countered, giving him the benefit of the doubt. She was wrong, but he sure did appreciate it.

  Jess’s only response had been an indiscernible sound of disagreement before diverting the conversation to “happier subjects.”

  The truth was, he wasn’t doing it to piss her off, but he sure did like knowing that he could get under her skin.

  By the time he made it to the corner of her street, he heard the engine of her Dodge Charger start up behind him. He counted down in his head…five, four, three, two,…

  When he got to one, she sped by, doing thirty-five in the twenty-five zone. Just like she was always fifteen minutes late, she also always drove ten miles over the speed limit. In his official law enforcement capacity, he’d pulled her over several times and given her warnings. He’d never actually cited her, but he’d threatened to.

  Not that she took his threats seriously. Ethan Steele had always been by the book, no nonsense, and no excuses except when it came to the people he loved. Then he was the biggest pushover on the planet. Thankfully, the list of people he loved was pretty short. Otherwise, he’d be in big trouble.

  His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he answered it on his Bluetooth headphones.

  “Steele.”

  “Hey man, you got plans for dinner tonight?” One of Ethan’s oldest friends Kade McKnight asked.

  Yeah, he did. It wasn’t delivery, it was DiGiorno. Since he’d joined the U.S. Marshals Service Violent Fugitive Task Force a few months earlier, he’d been living off of frozen food. Between his regular duties at the sheriff’s office and his new role on the task force, his schedule was so erratic that buying groceries that could go bad only ended up with rotten food and a smelly kitchen.

  “No.”

  “Good. Meet us at Lanterns at seven.”

  “Us?” Ethan smirked. His friend had only been back in Whisper Lake for a couple months, but he sure hadn’t wasted any time in becoming an “us.” He’d gotten engaged a few days earlier.

  “Us,” Kade repeated. “Me and Ali.”

  “And Jess.” Ethan heard Ali’s voice pipe up.

  Jess.

  “And Jess,” Kade repeated.

  “I’ll be there,” Ethan replied.

  The call ended and he wondered if Jess knew that he was going to be at dinner. She tended to avoid him in social situations. In a town the size of a postage stamp, that wasn’t always easy to do. And now that her best friend Ali was marrying one of his oldest friends Kade it might be damn near impossible.

  Ethan smiled at that thought.

  Jess was an enigma and the greatest challenge in his life. Ethan had always gone after what he wanted. He wasn’t a man that sat around waiting for things to happen, he made them happen. Except for when it came to Jess.

  They shared undeniable chemistry and the attraction between the two of them was indisputable. He would’ve initiated a relationship years ago, but she’d made it clear that was not on the table. So he’d waited.

  He’d thought that part of her reluctance to give them a shot was because her health had been so precarious for so many years. But she was two years out from a heart transplant, and from all accounts the healthiest she’d ever been and she still acted like he was a fly at the picnic of her life.

  She was always swatting him away, and if it were any other person, he’d take the hint and move on. But this was Jess, and she had a habit of lashing out when she felt unsure or out of control. He knew that she had to feel something for him. He saw it in the way her eyes dilated and her skin would flush whenever she saw him. He felt it in the way her eyes would seek him out whenever they were in the same place, which he orchestrated more than once. He had zero interest in the ballet, art festivals, or movie nights on the lake, but if he knew Jess was going to be somewhere, he went. And as much as she acted like she didn’t like him being there, there was always a moment of disappointment in her baby blue eyes when he said he was leaving.

  He lived for that moment.

  His phone buzzed again.

  “Steele.”

  “Why do you always answer the phone like that? If people are calling you, don’t you think they know your name already?”

  His smile widened at
the other woman in his life that could get away with murder. “Hi, Nana!”

  “Am I interrupting something? You sound out of breath.” His grandma’s voice sounded hopeful as she stage-whispered, “Are you with someone?”

  “You think I’d answer the phone if I were with someone?”

  “If it’s me calling, yes.”

  She wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t tell her that. “I’m out on a run.”

  “Oh, good. I think I noticed some love handles hangin’ off your six-pack,” she teased.

  “Are you back on dry land?” His grandma had been on a three-week cruise to the Bahamas. It was his eightieth birthday gift to her. She’d always talked about wanting to go on one, but he knew that she’d never pull the trigger, so he did it for her.

  “Yes, sir. We docked an hour ago. I just checked into my hotel.”

  “Did you already grab the lotions and shampoos?”

  Daisy Steele took frugal to an art form. He couldn’t remember her ever buying condiments, she “collected” them from fast food restaurants and dedicated an entire drawer to store them. She also had “good plastic” that she washed and stored like it was fine china, also collected from fast food establishments.

  “Of course I did. I’m not going to have to spend a dime on toiletries for the next six months thanks to this vacation.”

  “It’s the gift that keeps giving.”

  “Yes, it is. In more ways than one. I met someone.”

  Shock caused Ethan to slow to a stop. His grandfather had passed over four decades earlier. And even though she’d been single all of Ethan’s life, never once had he heard his grandma mention anything about dating again. “You did?”

  “Yes. She’s-”

  She’s?!

  “-thirty and a doctor and lives in Chicago. She’s the spitting image of a young Patty Duke. You’re going to love her.”

  Ah, that made more sense.

  Ethan had no idea who Patty Duke was, but it didn’t matter. His grandma could be setting him up with Emily Ratajkowski, and he wouldn’t be interested. Because Emily and Young Patty Duke weren’t the woman he was interested in. They weren’t Jess.