Fast & Loud

by Cheryl Douglas

  Shit. She was crying again and I hated myself for not being more understanding. I should have dropped to my knees and begged her forgiveness for being an insensitive asshole, not tried to defend myself for being a horny bastard with no more control than a teenager.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” she said, shaking her head. “I have to get out of here.”

  “No!” I wrapped my arms around her from behind, hauling her against my chest when she tried to leave. “No. You’re not leaving me again. Last time I watched you walk out the door like a stupid prick. I’m not going to do that again.”

  “Last time I wasn’t questioning whether you would ever cheat on me,” she said, letting the tears stream down her face, since I had her arms pinned.

  “I swear to God,” I said, burying my face in her neck. “I would never cheat on you, sweetheart. You’re the only one I want.”

  “That wasn’t true today, was it?” She sniffled. “Your body wanted someone else.”

  I closed my eyes, trying to find the words to make her stay. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t handle it the way I should have. But nothing like this will ever happen again. I’ll only work for matronly women and men from on, if that’s what you want.”

  “What I want,” she said, softly. “Is to be able to trust my man and have him trust me.”

  “You can trust me.”

  “It’s ironic,” she said, holding her body rigid. “You were so worried about another man coming between us. I never thought I’d have to worry about another woman.”

  “She’s not going to come between us.” I couldn’t let anything come between us. I’d never survive without this woman now that I remembered how much I needed her. “Not unless you let her.”

  “I need time, Dex. Time to process all this.”

  “No, what you need is to stay here with me and forget this ever happened.” I drew her back, letting my hardness prod her spine. “Let me help you forget.”

  “Sex isn’t the answer to everything,” she said, sounding dejected. “If it was we never would have divorced.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Cora

  It had been three long days and nights since I saw Dex. I missed him, but I had too much pride to call. He’d texted a couple of times to let me know he missed me, but I couldn’t respond. I was too confused.

  I’d been so happy having him back in my life, but it felt like we were doomed to repeat past mistakes. Jealousy and suspicion were still like an insidious disease, breaking down our relationship, only now he wasn’t the only one. Every time I thought about that bitch I wanted to go over to her house and tell her off for coming on to my man. Except he wasn’t my man anymore. Not really. And the rumor mill reported Josh had kicked his wife out of the house, which meant she was free… to pursue other options. If I continued to keep Dex at arm’s length, how long would it be before he took her up on her offer?

  I propped my chin in my hand and stared at my computer screen. I was supposed to be working with a web designer on the website for the restaurant, but I couldn’t focus on anything. I just kept seeing her naked, her hands all over Dex, while his body begged for her attention.

  “Hey there,” Bryan poked his head in the door, which I’d left unlocked. “You look like you could use this.” He held up a take-out cup from the café across the street, earning him a smile.

  “I could,” I said, crossing the room to take it from him. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. I was just passing by and wanted to make sure you got the quote I sent you the other day.”

  “I did,” I said, peeling back the plastic lid on my cup. “Sorry I haven’t responded. I’ve been meaning to.”

  “That’s okay, I assumed you had a lot on your plate.” At my questioning look, he said, “I heard what went down with Dex and Belinda. Josh told me. I’m sorry, Cora.”

  That was the thing about living in smallish town with a popular watering hole. Word got around fast. “It is what it is, right?”

  I didn’t want to know what Josh had told him. Probably the same story he’d told me when I asked. That he’d always suspected there was something between Dex and Belinda and catching them together the way he had just confirmed it.

  “Guess that means he won’t be working on this place after all, huh? When I saw you guys together I kind of just assumed it was a done deal.”

  “A done deal,” I repeated, thinking of our reconciliation, not the job. “Yeah, I thought that too.” I forced a smile. “I guess people get divorced for a reason, right? They’re not compatible. I’d do well to remember that.”

  He rested his hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes. “I know it’s not easy. If you ever need someone to talk to—”

  “She’s got me.”

  I looked over to see Dex crowding the doorway, his arms crossed, looking as intimidating as all hell. I should have known it wouldn’t be long before he forced me to have this out face-to-face.

  “Didn’t expect to see you ‘round here, Dex.” Bryan let his hand fall, but not before giving my shoulder a squeeze.

  “Why the hell not?” he asked, pushing his sunglasses up on his head. His hand was still bandaged, reminding me of the day I couldn’t seem to forget.

  “Word on the street is you’ve been havin’ a little trouble lately,” Bryan said, rolling his tongue in his cheek.

  “Don’t believe everything you hear, Johnson,” Dex said, crossing the distance between. “Most of it is shit made up by people with an ax to grind or nothing better to do.”

  “If you say so, man.” Bryan looked at me. “Anytime you want to go over that quote I sent you let me know, sweetheart.”

  “Fuck off, Johnson,” Dex said, glaring at him. “Last time we crossed paths I put up with your bullshit. I’m not in the mood today. Get out so I can talk to my…” His eyes drifted to me. “Ex-wife.”

  “You didn’t know a good thing when you had it,” Bryan said, smiling at me. “That’s your problem. Most men would give their right arm for a woman like this. You had her and didn’t treat her right. Now you think you should get a do-over even after you fucked everything up letting Belinda—”

  Dex slammed him against the wall, his face in Bryan’s.

  It happened so fast I barely had time to gasp. “Dex! Don’t!”

  “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, so keep your mouth shut.” Dex had a fistful of his shirt, which he used as leverage to slam him against the wall again. “You don’t know anything about my relationship with Cora and you sure as shit don’t know anything about what happened with Belinda, so if you think you’re going to use this to make inroads with my girl, think again.”

  “You still his girl, Cora?” Bryan asked, glancing in my direction.

  Without responding to the question, I said, “Dex, let him go. Please. We need to talk.” I could tell he was wound as tightly as I was and this couldn’t go on. We had to have it out, once and for all.

  “Remember what I said, Johnson. I see you around here again and I’ll—”

  “I think it’s up to Cora to decide if she wants me around,” Bryan said. “What do you say, sweet thing? You want—”

  “Bryan, you need to go!” I could practically feel Dex’s rage from across the room, and even with one bad hand I knew the kind of destruction he was capable of. I didn’t want to be responsible for that. “Now!”

  Dex lowered his hand before stepping away from Bryan, giving him an escape route.

  “Cora, you can do better than this guy,” Bryan said, still poking the bear. “You know you can.”

  “Here’s the thing,” I said, stepping up to Bryan. “I took one look at Dex seven years ago and felt things for him I’d never felt for another man before or since. If you’ve ever been in love, you know what I mean.” I drew a breath, knowing Dex must be hanging on my every word. “He was my everything and my life was just… better with him in it. So if you think anyone will ever take his place for me, you’re so wrong.”


  “That’s a damn shame,” he said, hanging his head.

  “You and I can’t work together, Bryan.” I didn’t want there to be a question that my loyalty lied with Dex. I may not always understand or agree with every choice my ex made, but I could live with that, I decided.

  “I get that.” He looked over my head at Dex. “I guess the best man won.”

  It was never a competition because Bryan had never been in the running as far as I was concerned. “The best man for me.”

  We both watched Bryan leave before Dex came up behind me and wrapped his arms against my waist, tugging me back against his chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I hate that people are talking about this, calling into question the way I feel about you.”

  I knew what people were saying, that my ex was a man-whore and I was a fool to think about taking him back. But they didn’t know what I did. They didn’t know how much he loved me. “I don’t care what they say.” It was true. The only thing that mattered to me was the way Dex and I felt about each other.

  “I do. I don’t want people saying shit about you. Calling you stupid for giving me another chance.”

  I turned to face him, needing to get it all off my chest. “Does it hurt me to know another woman could get to you like that? Yes.” I wanted to believe I was the only one who could arouse him, but I refused to allow one moment in time, one mistake, to ruin what we’d been rebuilding.

  “She didn’t get to me,” he whispered. “That’s just it. She couldn’t get to me. No other woman could.” He reached for my hand, resting it against his heart. “Cora, I got your face tattooed on me years ago because you owned my heart. It’ll never belong to anyone else.”

  Hearing that made me smile, and I knew he was telling the truth. He and I had a connection not even a judge could breach. Still I asked, “You promise?”

  “Listen to me,” he said, curling his good hand around my face. “I know you’ve been with other men. And I’ve been with other women. Do I hate that that’s a fact? Hell, yeah. But I can’t change it.”

  “I wish you could,” I said, softly. “I wish we both could.”

  “But none of that matters now. Whatever we had with other people was just physical, right?”

  I nodded, thinking I’d never felt this soul-deep connection with another person in my life. That’s why the sex with Dex was incredible, because he was the only man I’d ever made love to.

  “I was going through the motions, just trying to get through the pain of losing you.”

  “I did that too.” Abstinence would have been a smarter path, but sometimes I just needed to feel someone’s arms wrapped around me. But that always left me feeling even more hollow and empty because they weren’t Dex’s arms.

  “I’ve always been so jealous of you because…” He stepped back and I instinctively moved closer. “I felt powerless.”

  “What do you mean?” It was hard to imagine a man as powerful as Dex ever feeling weak.

  “I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few days, trying to figure out why I’d lose my shit every time a guy looked at you.”

  “And?”

  “I thought they had something I didn’t, like maybe you’d find something in one of them that you hadn’t found in me.” He smiled. “But that’s when I realized I could be everything you needed me to be.”

  “You already are.”

  With the exception of his little lapse in judgement the other day, I couldn’t think of a single thing I’d change about the man standing before me. He wasn’t the man I married. He definitely wasn’t the man I’d divorced. But he was the man I’d fallen in love with… again.

  “I don’t have to be jealous of anyone else, ‘cause I’m the guy you married.” He kissed me, a sweet chaste kiss that left me wanting more. “And maybe if I’m real lucky I’ll be the guy you marry again.”

  “I want that, Dex,” I whispered. “I want a second chance with you. To get it right this time. To make it last.”

  “Oh, it’ll last, baby.” He picked me up, twirling me around. “Because there’s no way in hell I’m letting you get away again.”

  Epilogue

  Dex

  One Year Later

  We’d just come home from celebrating the grand opening of my beautiful wife’s restaurant. Yeah, she was my wife again and I was the happiest fucking man alive about that. I’d proposed to her after we’d been ‘dating’ for six months. And this time she got to have the white wedding she’d never had, with our friends and family there to wish us well.

  I’d made the restaurant into everything she’d wanted it to be and she’d rented out the apartment above when she moved into my place. Correction. Our place. Before it was a house. Cora made it a home. Our home.

  “I’m so proud of you,” I whispered, kissing her neck. “You’re making all your dreams come true.”

  She smiled up at me, looking happier than I’d seen her since… our wedding day. The second time around. “There’s only one thing left that would make my life perfect, Dex.”

  “Name it.” There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

  “I want to have your baby.”

  I stared at her, stunned. It’s not that we hadn’t talked about it, but we’d decided to wait a few years, until her restaurant was established and she didn’t have to work so many hours.

  She smiled. “Well? How do you feel about that?”

  Was she kidding? I’d give anything to for her to have my baby. “If you’re sure you’re ready…?” Please say you’re ready.

  “I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” she said, linking her hands with mine. “I love what I do, but every time I see a baby there’s this stirring in my belly. I want your baby,” she whispered.

  And those four little words were all it took to get me hard.

  “Please say something,” she said, laughing lightly. “You’re making me nervous here. Was I out of line, suggesting this after we agreed to wait?”

  I bent, scooping her in my arms without another word. I couldn’t tell her how much it meant to me that she wanted to have my baby. I had to show her.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, squealing as her high heels fell to the ground as I raced up the stairs with her.

  “What do you think I’m doing?” I buried my face in her neck, inhaling her when we got to our bedroom door. “My beautiful wife tells me she wants my baby and you think I’m going to waste time talking?”

  I set her down on the bed and started to take my suit off. I hated wearing them, but for her… anything.

  “Dex?” she asked, leaning forward on her elbows. “You’re sure about this? There’s no going back after we make this decision. It’s a forever commitment.”

  I grinned as I unbuttoned my shirt. “Kind of like the tattoos, huh?”

  “I’m serious,” she teased, running her bare foot over the bulge in my pants. “We make a baby and you’re stuck with me for life.”

  That’s what I wanted… her… for life. “I’m good with that.”

  Her face lit up as she started unbuttoning all the tiny buttons running the length of her white dress. “How many kids do you want?”

  We’d talked about this before, but now that the time had come and I could see how excited she was, an army would work for me. “As many as you want, angel.”

  “Three, at least.”

  I chuckled. “Then I guess we better get to work, huh?” I stood before her naked while she was still wearing a white strapless bra and matching lace thong. Something shifted between us. All the teasing was gone as I slowly moved up her body, pressing my lips to her soft skin as I went. “This is the right time for me to get you pregnant?”

  “Timing is perfect,” she assured me, arching her neck, inviting my kiss.

  “In that case, I’m going to make love to you all night long. As many times as I can.” I licked her nipples slowly, savouring her sweet moans as she pressed into my mouth. “I want to fill you. Over and over again.”

 
; She threaded her hands through my hair, holding my mouth right where she wanted it. “I want that too.”

  “I’m going to come so deep inside you.” I couldn’t wait. I could already feel the pre-cum leaking out just talking about it.

  “Yesss…”

  “But first I want—”

  She cut me off by rolling over so she was on top of me.

  “Hi,” I said, grinning when she was straddling me.

  “Hi,” she said, a saucy smile lighting her beautiful face.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Taking care of my man.”

  Fuck. There was nothing I loved more than watching her go down on me. Except being deep inside of her. Or licking her until she came all over my mouth. Or tying her up and tasting every inch of her luscious body until she came over and over again for me. Or taking her from behind and exploding inside of her while I watched that perfect ass, bearing my name. Damn. There were so many things I loved doing with her. I couldn’t choose one.

  “You do that and I’m not going to last. I’m going come inside your mouth,” I said, sticking my thumb between her full lips as she slid down my body. “And we won’t get our baby that way.”

  “I just want a little taste,” she said, winking at me. “I’ll make sure every drop ends up exactly where it belongs.”

  I laid back, knowing she was going to take me on the expedition of a lifetime. Just like she did every time. I closed my eyes, groaning, as soon as her lips closed over my shaft. The suction was strong and her lips warm and wet as I wrapped my hands in her hair, helping her take it deeper.

  “That’s it, sexy.” I watched her, barely able to keep my eyes open as the pleasure invaded every part of my body. “Take it deep.” She was a pro at taking it deep, just like I liked it. Judging by the hot little humming noises she made every time she sucked me off I wasn’t sure who enjoyed it more, me or her. “Ah, so fucking good.”

  I kept thinking about what she’d said. I want your baby. Seeing my woman pregnant with my baby would do me in. I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of her. Her belly round. Her tits full. I clenched my teeth as she licked up and down.