A Little Ray of Sunshine_A Christian Romance

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  Hannah still wasn’t sure, but as it stood, she didn’t have much choice. “Thanks.”

  “If you want, I can help you set up your phone,” Ryan said. “I’m not sure which one he got for you, but it’s probably one of the newer ones. I’m going to go ahead and set up the one he left for me too, simply because I need a phone while I’m here.”

  “Why don’t you two go into the family room? It will be more comfortable there,” Emily suggested.

  “Yep. I’ll just go grab the stuff.” Ryan turned to her. “Is it okay if I go into your room to get the electronics he left there for you?”

  “Sure, that’s fine.” It wasn’t like she’d really claimed the room for herself yet. The bags they’d given her in Kabul still sat on the floor beside the bed, packed.

  “Here. I’ll take you to the family room,” Emily said after she dried her hands.

  “Can I help you clean up here first?” Hannah asked, not comfortable with being waited on like she had been for the past two days.

  Emily waved a hand at her as she shook her head. “I actually enjoy doing it. Sometimes Steve will come and help me, which I enjoy even more.” The older woman gave her a wink before sobering a bit. “There was a time when I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to take care of my family again, but with their love and support—along with some wonderful therapists—I’m almost back to normal after my aneurysm. Doing things like this help to reinforce that normality for me.”

  “That’s wonderful you’ve made such a great recovery,” Hannah said as she picked up the bouncy seat and followed Emily from the kitchen. She knew that not everyone made a full recovery after something like that.

  Emily led her into a room at the back of the house that had an overstuffed couch along with several matching armchairs and a loveseat. There was a large coffee table in front of the couch which is where Hannah assumed they’d work with the phones. She set the bouncy seat on the floor then settled down beside it.

  “I forgot to ask if I needed to feed Jason,” Hannah said, suddenly feeling like the worst mother in the world.

  “No worries, hun,” Emily said with a smile. “He had a feed just before the nurse left, so he should be good for another hour or so. She made up a few bottles and left them in the fridge, so we just have to put them in a warmer.”

  “I’m not sure when the lab people are supposed to be here, Mom,” Ryan said as he came into the room, “But can you let us know when they arrive?”

  “Sure thing, sweetie.” Emily flipped a switch beside a large brick fireplace, and Hannah watched as a fire came to life.

  Large windows looked out on a wide verandah and the snow-covered backyard beyond it. It looked like they’d received significant snowfall so far that year, but inside the house, sitting in front of the fire, Hannah felt cozy and warm. It was a home she would have dreamed of owning had she realized such a place actually existed.

  Ryan set several boxes on the coffee table then sat down on the thickly carpeted floor beside her. “Let’s start with the phones.”

  He handed her a box and picked up an identical one for himself. He got his box open first then laughed as he held it out to her. “I think this one is yours.”

  As Hannah took in the rose gold color of the phone, she couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips. She shot him a sideways glance. “You aren’t secure enough in your masculinity to be seen with a pink phone?”

  Ryan laughed. “Apparently not.”

  Hannah handed him the case she’d opened. “Then I guess you’d better have the black one.”

  For the next little while, Ryan helped her with the phone, leaning close to show her certain things through the set-up process. His nearness took her off guard for a moment because she wasn’t used to being so close to people in general, men in particular. But for some reason, she found herself watching Ryan’s hands, noticing the light dusting of dark hair on his forearms, revealed where he’d rolled up his sleeves. Then there was the scent of whatever he was wearing as cologne or maybe his shampoo or body wash.

  But it was more than just a physical awareness of him. She found herself wondering how to make him smile more. And what would make him laugh again. That part of her awareness of him was perplexing.

  From the time she was old enough to have noticed boys, Hannah had thought something was wrong with her because she hadn’t had crushes on them like the other girls in her class had. Oh, she’d noticed if they were cute, but she’d never wanted them to look at her, to pay attention to her. She’d never wanted to be theirs.

  At one point, when she’d mentioned it to another girl in one of the foster homes, she’d suggested maybe Hannah was attracted to girls, but that definitely hadn’t been the case either. Hannah had finally decided that she’d somehow lost the ability to connect with people. To want to connect with a man on such an intimate level.

  Given some of her experiences in foster care and more recently with the kidnappers, Hannah figured it was just as well that she hadn’t been able to form an attachment with a guy. Or that she hadn’t even wanted to.

  So what was this going on with Ryan? She didn’t understand it at all, and she really didn’t want anything more than friendship with him. While he came with a huge loving family, she came with a boatload of baggage. More baggage than any man in their right mind would want to take on. And that had been before she’d been kidnapped, assaulted and given birth to a baby.

  “Hannah?”

  She lifted her gaze and found Ryan watching her, a concerned look on his face.

  “You okay?”

  Hannah nodded and gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile. “Sorry. Just spaced out for a minute there.”

  “Did you want to take a break before we tackle this?”

  “No. I’m fine. It’s just been awhile since I last dealt with technology.”

  “It hasn’t changed too much,” Ryan said, “but if you didn’t use it a lot even before you were kidnapped, then it might take awhile to adapt.”

  Hannah reached out and bounced the seat for Jason, smiling as she watched him wave his fists at the toys that dangled from the bar above him. Pushing aside her earlier thoughts, Hannah tried to keep focused on what Ryan was telling her. She’d deal with her thoughts later, when she was alone—if she dealt with them at all.

  “I’ll try my best to pick it up again. Hopefully it’s like riding a bike.”

  Ryan chuckled, causing Hannah to glance over at him. He’d leaned back on his hands, a grin on his face. “Not sure how much like riding a bike it is. I will say that even though I use technology all the time, I still have to learn new stuff. It’s like we don’t have enough things to do in our lives, they gotta keep releasing new phones or new versions of the operating systems.” He sat forward and gestured to the phones sitting on the coffee table. “We’ll figure this out together.”

  Hannah picked up her phone, feeling the weight of it in her hand. Her old phone, the one that had probably gotten lost somewhere on the other side of the world, had been about half the size and much lighter. She thought of all the pictures she’d had on it, wondering if they’d all backed up on the cloud like they were supposed to.

  “Put in your account information,” Ryan instructed. “Once you do, you should have access to any of the apps you’d downloaded before, and anything that you’d backed up.” He paused. “Were you good at backing up your stuff?”

  Hannah shrugged. “I tried to remember to do it once a week or so, but sometimes I’d forget. Things would get so busy that I wouldn’t remember for a couple of weeks.”

  “You’re in good company. Lots of people don’t do regular backups.” He gestured to the phone in her hand. “Just put your info in, and we’ll see what you last backed up.”

  She stared at the screen for a moment, trying to remember things she’d spent the last year not focusing on. The email address part of the login was easy enough, but the password took a couple of tries. Once the information was accepted, Ryan
helped her through the rest of the process, even the part where they set it up so that all she had to do was touch the phone with her thumb to unlock it. That certainly hadn’t been a feature on her last phone.

  “Here.” Ryan held out his hand. “Let me put my phone number in your contacts. I’ll do an entry for each of my numbers because my Minneapolis phone will still be active. I just need a new phone.”

  Hannah handed him her phone, trying not to laugh when, after tapping on the screen for a bit, he lifted it and took a selfie. Apparently satisfied with the picture, he did a few more things, only glancing briefly at his phone when it chirped.

  After he handed her phone back, he picked his up. He focused on it for a minute, then held it out to her. “Here. Take a picture for your contact information.”

  Hannah clutched her phone as she stared at his. A picture? Oh no. That was not going to happen. “Uh…” She tried to think of an option as she took Ryan’s phone. When Jason squeaked next to her, Hannah turned to look at him. Before she could think twice, she lifted the phone and took a picture of Jason. “There you go.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  When Ryan took his phone back, he stared at the screen, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Not quite what I had in mind, but it will work for the time being.”

  As far as Hannah was concerned, it would work forever. Unless he wanted an updated picture of Jason. In which case, he was welcome to take as many as he wanted.

  They’d finished setting up their phones and were working on the laptop when Emily came back into the room. “Ryan, sweetie, the lab people are here. Do you want to meet them in the kitchen or here?

  “Maybe the kitchen would be better,” Ryan said as he got to his feet. “I’ll bring the little guy.”

  Hannah stood and followed them out of the family room down the short hallway to the kitchen. Ryan’s dad was there talking with a couple of women. Ryan set Jason’s bouncy seat on the counter, only moving away when Emily neared.

  “Hello,” the older of the two said with a smile as she held out her hand to Ryan. “I’m Sally Pressley, and this is Robyn Hines. We’re here to take some samples for the lab.”

  Ryan shook her hand then, as Hannah did the same, he told the woman, “I’d say it’s a pleasure, but to be honest, I have a bit of an issue with needles.”

  Hannah stared at Ryan, surprised that he’d confess to something like that. Most the time it seemed like men just toughed it out, trying to hide their fear.

  “I can go first,” Hannah offered.

  Ryan shook his head. “It’s probably best I don’t see the needles going into you before it’s my turn.”

  He took a seat at the table but kept his head turned toward where Emily was talking to Jason. The other lab tech came to Hannah’s side.

  “There is also an order for a urine sample,” she said, holding out a plastic container with an orange lid. Hannah took it from her gloved hand along with a paper bag. “You can just put the container in here when you’re done.”

  Hannah wasn’t sure where the nearest bathroom was, so she went up to her room to use the one there. Thankfully, the increased amount of water she’d been drinking since her release meant that getting the sample they wanted took no time at all. After putting the container in the bag, she washed up and returned downstairs.

  Ryan looked up as she walked in, decidedly paler than when she’d left him. She gave the bag to the other lab tech then moved to sit at the table.

  “Here you go, sweetheart,” Emily said as she handed Ryan what looked like a chocolate chip cookie. Steve had taken Emily’s place beside Jason, grinning as he watched Ryan.

  “Mom, I’m not six anymore,” Ryan said in protest, but Hannah noticed that he still took the cookie.

  “I know, baby,” Emily said as she patted his shoulder, “but you looked like you needed one.”

  Hannah pushed up the sleeve of the sweatshirt she wore, trying to ignore how easily it slid up past her elbow. The bones of her wrist and elbow were more prominent now with her weight loss, and it made her body feel foreign to her. Like her personality, her soul, had taken over someone else’s body.

  The lab tech made quick work of tying the rubber tubing around her upper arm. And in yet another sign of the changes in her body, the woman had no problem whatsoever finding a vein in Hannah’s arm. Before heading over to Afghanistan, having her blood drawn usually left her with a bruise. Some lab techs did just fine, but more often than not, she had someone who had trouble finding a vein.

  The lab tech quickly switched out vials then released the strap around her arm. After removing the needle, she pressed a cotton ball to the needle mark and bent Hannah’s arm up. She finished labeling and marking the vials before she slipped them into the carrying case they’d brought with them. By the time she was putting a bandage on Hannah, Ryan had reappeared with his own paper bag.

  The medical side of Hannah was curious about what the results might be, but as a patient, she was worried and hoped that nothing showed up that couldn’t be solved with some extra supplements.

  “Thank you for cooperating,” Sally said as they finished gathering up all their things, putting the needles and other medical waste into a container they’d brought with them. “The doctors will contact you regarding the results.”

  “We appreciate you coming out here,” Ryan said as they shook hands again.

  He walked them to the front door while Hannah stayed in the kitchen with Jason, Steve, and Emily.

  “Do you want something to eat?” Emily asked. “A cookie perhaps?”

  Hannah smiled as she took one from the jar Emily held out. “They must be pretty good if they can make Ryan feel better after a blood draw.”

  “He’s never liked needles. Used to scream at the top of his lungs whenever he had to get an injection.”

  As she looked at Jason, Hannah said, “I guess this little guy is going to have to have a few shots soon. The doctor didn’t say when exactly though.”

  “I never enjoyed taking the kids for their shots.”

  Hannah had never thought she’d be having to deal with something like that. Though she’d never consciously decided that she wouldn’t have a family of her own, apparently that idea had taken root within her at some point. It wasn’t until she’d discovered she was pregnant with Jason that she’d realized that she had, in fact, accepted that a family wasn’t in her future.

  During her time in captivity, with so much time to do nothing but think, Hannah had come to the realization that she had a few messed up ideas about herself and her situation. And those ideas had been present even before she’d been kidnapped. Feeling abandoned by the world after her kidnapping had created even more issues for her to deal with.

  Hannah bent over and nuzzled Jason’s foot, hoping to hide the emotions that were no doubt playing on her face. She didn’t want to deal with any of it. She just wanted to pretend that her life began the minute she stepped off the plane, back on Canadian soil, with Jason. It would be much easier if she could just forget everything that happened before that moment.

  It was too bad the world didn’t work that way. Somehow, she needed to make sure that she could deal with Jason without passing on her baggage to him. And if she could do that without having to bare her soul to a therapist, all the better.

  When Ryan returned, he went straight to the fridge and pulled out a jug of milk. Lifting it in the air, he asked, “Do you want some? Mom’s cookies are best served with milk.”

  Though Hannah wasn’t sure she could eat another cookie, a glass of milk sounded good. When she said as much, Ryan got two glasses from the cupboard and poured milk into them. Steve and Emily each had cups of coffee that smelled good, but hot drinks hadn’t been what she’d missed while in that cell.

  Hannah sat down at the counter next to Jason and took slow sips of the milk while Ryan and his parents chatted. She recognized the names of Ryan’s siblings a few times in reference to a double wedding. Then there was
talk about some houses that were being built. It wasn’t until the conversation turned to Ryan’s job that he fell silent.

  “Alex and Marcus were excellent at keeping in touch with us,” Steve said. “Every week they called to let us know what they were doing to try to locate you.”

  Ryan popped the last bite of cookie into his mouth and reached for another.

  “That whole time was horrible for a lot of people,” Emily said, her brow furrowed. “And what a rollercoaster of emotions. Each time news came that someone was rescued or released, we hoped it was you. When it wasn’t, our hopes would plummet, but we’d still pray that you would be the next one released. The time following the last release until we got that video from you was so very hard.”

  “We shouldn’t have been there,” Ryan said, his voice low and angry.

  “What do you mean, son?” Steve asked.

  “I told them before we left that I didn’t trust the guys we were working with. I told them we shouldn’t go.” Ryan glared down at his glass of milk. “But they ignored me like I didn’t know what I was talking about.”

  Steve reached out to rest his hand on Ryan’s arm. “You can’t harbor that anger, Ryan. It will eat you alive.”

  Ryan stayed quiet, his head bent. Hannah could literally feel the anger coming off him in waves. She thought back to what Ryan had said about maybe it was God’s plan that he ended up there so that she could be rescued. It appeared that while he could say those words, he hadn’t truly accepted his situation the way he’d made it sound like he had.

  She glanced at the clock on the wall then finished the rest of her milk. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to give Jason a bottle and see if he’ll go down for a nap.”

  “Okay, sweetie,” Emily said as she got up from her seat. “Let me get you one of the bottles the nurse prepared.”

  Hannah lifted Jason out of the bouncy seat then took the bottle from Emily and made her way up the stairs to her room. Once free of the tense air in the kitchen, she let out a long sigh. Inexplicably, she was feeling a bit hurt at the knowledge that Ryan still resented his being kidnapped. Not that she blamed him, of course, but it was a clear reminder that if things had gone the way he’d wanted them to, he never would have been kidnapped, and she and Jason would still be over there, facing an uncertain future.