A Little Ray of Sunshine_A Christian Romance

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  Max waved it off. “It’s yours to do with whatever you want.”

  Ryan wondered briefly what it must be like to be able to give so much to people. He tried to be generous when he could, but the reality was, that after tithes and savings, he had bills, a car payment, and rent that ate up a good chunk of his income from BlackThorpe.

  When Yuka and his mom left the family room, Ryan sat back down when his dad and Max did. Max leaned forward, elbows resting on his thighs.

  “How are you doing, Ryan?”

  “Happy to be home, for sure. Physically, still a bit tired, but hopefully that’s it. The lab techs came and drew blood earlier, so I suppose I’ll hear from the doctor if there’s anything more that needs to be addressed health-wise.”

  “Good. Glad to hear it.” Max hesitated then said, “Have you considered speaking to a therapist?”

  “A therapist? Like a counselor?” Ryan asked.

  Max nodded. “I think it might be important.”

  “I’m fine, but I’m sure Hannah could probably use someone to talk to.”

  His dad exchanged a look with Max before he said, “I think you might need someone to talk to as well, son. I know you haven’t spoken in depth about what happened over there, but I’m sure it wasn’t…easy.”

  Ryan frowned and looked away from his dad’s knowing gaze. He didn’t want to tell his family everything that had gone on while he was in captivity. Honestly, he just wanted to forget that the past several months had even happened. He wanted to figure out how to get back to a normal life…and whatever that would mean as far as his future with BlackThorpe Security was concerned.

  “It wasn’t easy,” he admitted. “But it’s over, and I just want to move on.”

  “Sometimes moving on isn’t as easy as just deciding to do it,” Max said, his tone gentle. “Everyone can benefit from having someone to talk to, and sometimes it’s easier if that someone is a stranger. I have a few recommendations, if you’re interested.”

  “Like I said, that’s definitely something Hannah will need,” Ryan said, not willing to accept that help for himself.

  “Just don’t shut the idea down, son,” his dad said, his tone much the same as Max’s. Almost as if they expected him to fly off the handle at their suggestions.

  Why that was, he didn’t know. It wasn’t as if he had a horrible temper or anything. Yes, he was getting a bit annoyed at the pressure they were putting on him, but it wasn’t anything he was going to react to. After all, these were two men he respected, and he knew they only had his best interests at heart.

  “Coffee?” his mom asked as she walked back into the room holding a tray. Yuka followed her carrying another one.

  A short time later, Hannah stepped into the room, Jason in her arms. He looked happy as he waved his arms around, but she looked like she hadn’t slept at all. The dark circles that had eased a bit on the flight home were now back in full force. As soon as she saw that others were in the room, she came to a halt.

  “Is Jason ready for a bottle?” his mom asked.

  “Uh…yeah, I’ll get it,” Hannah said as she turned back around to leave the room.

  “I’ll see if she needs help.” Ryan jumped to his feet and followed after her. He found Hannah in the kitchen with Jason in one arm as she opened the fridge. “Here, why don’t you let me take him while you get his bottle ready.”

  Hannah glanced over at him then nodded. Her body seemed to sag once he’d taken Jason from her. Even though the baby wasn’t that heavy, Ryan could imagine that she wasn’t used to carrying his weight around.

  “Hey, big boy,” Ryan said as he bounced him gently. He hadn’t thought too seriously about having kids even though he and Mitch had talked a bit about marriage when he’d been home the last time.

  Hannah moved silently around the kitchen, placing the bottle in the warmer then pouring herself a glass of milk from the fridge. “Would you like one?”

  “Uh. No thanks,” Ryan said. “To be honest, I’m not a big milk drinker unless it involves cookies.”

  She took a sip from the glass then set it on the counter while she checked the bottle. “I didn’t use to be, but I want something cold to drink and figured that I could use the calories.”

  When she reached to take Jason from him, Ryan shook his head and held out his hand for the bottle. “Why don’t you let me feed him while you get yourself something to eat.”

  She hesitated then gave him the bottle. “Did you want something to eat, too?”

  “What are you in the mood for?” Ryan asked. “I’m sure Mom has all the fixings for sandwiches in the fridge. Or there are probably cans of soup in the cupboard.”

  “A sandwich is okay for me. Is that okay for you?”

  Ryan nodded, watching as she went back to the fridge. She returned with a package of deli meat and some cheese. “The bread is in that container there.”

  Still as silent as ever, Hannah pulled out several slices of bread and began to make them each a sandwich. Her movements were slow, and Ryan felt his concern for her grow.

  “Are you doing okay?” Ryan asked, unable to help himself.

  Hannah glanced up then turned her attention back to the sandwiches. “Yeah. Just hungry.”

  “You look like you didn’t sleep.”

  She looked at him again, but only for a moment. “I’m not used to having to listen for a baby. I kept worrying I’d sleep through him waking up and needing me.”

  Ryan looked down at the baby as he drank from his bottle, realizing that except for that first night when they’d been rescued, he’d never heard him cry. Surely, though, he’d be loud enough to wake even the soundest of sleepers.

  “Well, if you want to lie down for awhile after eating, I’m sure Mom would be happy to keep an eye on him.”

  Hannah slid a plate with his sandwich across the counter to him. “I’ll see how I feel after I eat something. I hate to impose.”

  “You’re not imposing,” Ryan assured her. “My parents are used to babysitting. I’m sure they’d be happy to watch him for a bit so you could rest.”

  She sat down on the stool next to his and gestured to Jason. “I can take him now.”

  “Nope. We’re good.” Ryan looked down at Jason and smiled. “Aren’t we, buddy? You go ahead and eat.”

  Though she hesitated, in the end, Hannah picked up half her sandwich and took a bite. After she took a second bite, she said, “Does your mom make the bread?”

  Ryan eyed it then shrugged. “Not sure about this particular loaf, though I do know she used to make our bread all the time. Once she had her aneurysm, she stopped being able to do a lot of the physical stuff she once did. I’m not sure how much of it she’s been able to take back on. I know Danica—my youngest sister—had started doing some of the baking when I was home last year.”

  “It’s delicious,” Hannah said. “I never really learned much about baking. Just being able to cook was about the limit of my abilities.”

  “I’ve learned to make the basics myself,” Ryan said as he set the empty bottle on the counter. “Am I supposed to burp him or something now?”

  The corners of her lips quirked up briefly. “I can do that.”

  Ryan thought about arguing, but truthfully, while he’d been confident he could handle a bottle-feeding, he wasn’t as sure that he could get a burp out of the little guy. He handed the baby over, watching as Hannah propped him up on her shoulder then began to lightly pat his back in upward motions. Before long, the tiny body released a burp that a grown man would have been proud of, shocking Ryan.

  When Hannah saw his expression, another smile curved her lips, this one lingering a bit longer. “He has a remarkable capacity for burping, I’ve discovered.”

  Once the burping was over, she settled Jason in the crook of her arm and picked up her sandwich. Ryan made quick work of his own then got up to make himself another cup of coffee. What he really wanted was a nap, but he wasn’t going to lie down until he knew that Hannah was
also going to have the chance to have a rest as well.

  When his mom and Yuka walked in a few minutes later, Yuka immediately zeroed in on the baby.

  “Oh my goodness. Isn’t he a sweetie!” She came over and bent down so she could run her fingers over his head. “I love his curls. Can I hold him?”

  “Sure,” Hannah said then helped settle him in Yuka’s arms.

  “Do you want to take a nap, sweetheart?” his mom asked as she cleared Ryan’s plate away. “Actually, you both look like you could do with one. We’ll look after Jason for you, Hannah.”

  She appeared to hesitate but then nodded. His mom and Yuka chatted while Hannah finished her sandwich and Ryan drained the last of his coffee.

  “Are you sure you’re okay with him?” Hannah asked once she was done with her food.

  “Definitely,” his mom said. “If we need you, we’ll wake you up. Don’t worry about us. We’re old pros, right, Yuka?”

  “Well, you’ve had more recent experience than I have,” Yuka said with a laugh. “And even then, our experience levels are quite different. Ten to one in children ratio. Not counting grandchildren. I’m excited to get an opportunity to spend some time with a baby.”

  “See,” his mom said, slipping an arm around Hannah’s shoulders. “You’re doing Yuka a favor by letting her take care of Jason.” She pressed her lips to Hannah’s temple. “Go get yourself some rest.”

  “Okay. Thank you.” With a quick glance at Ryan, Hannah kissed Jason’s head then left the kitchen.

  “Is she okay?”

  Ryan looked over to find his mom watching him. “What do you mean?”

  “Just that I thought she’d be looking less tired and more relaxed by this point. Instead, she seems to be getting…worse.”

  He couldn’t argue with his mom’s observations. “I think she’s still trying to get used to the changes. Her life has been something completely different for over a year. More than that, actually, when you take into account that she’d been living in Afghanistan for a while before the kidnapping. From what I gather, she’s used to being on her own, even before she went overseas. I’m pretty sure being around all of us has got to be a bit overwhelming.”

  His mom didn’t look totally convinced, but she did nod. “I hope she gets some good rest, and then I’ll try and feed her some more. I wish I knew what types of food she liked.”

  Ryan thought back over the conversations they’d had in the cell. Their five questions. “Fried chicken. Although, we did have that on the plane home. Maybe your chicken and broccoli rice casserole? I know that’s always a family favorite. She’d probably like that too.”

  “That sounds good. A little bit of comfort food for us.” His mom picked up her phone. “I’ll text Gabe and have him bring home some chicken. He said he’d be back mid-afternoon.” She gave him a smile. “Thanks, sweetie. Now go get some rest of your own.”

  Ryan wearily climbed the stairs to his bedroom, glancing at the closed door of the room that had been given to Hannah as he made his way past it. He hoped that she was resting. Though he knew it wasn’t possible, Ryan wished they still shared a room. It had been easier for him to keep track of her condition, to know when she slept, to get her to talk in the darkness of the cell. He hadn’t anticipated feeling the separation so acutely, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Hannah rolled over, groaning at the stiffness in her body. She would have thought that sleeping on a nicer bed would lead to fewer aches and pains, but she was sleeping so soundly that not moving for several hours meant there was time for stiffness to invade her joints.

  The clock on the nightstand said it was just after five o’clock, and judging from the light at the edges of the curtain, Hannah assumed it was afternoon, and that she hadn’t slept through the night. She hoped that Yuka and Emily had been okay with Jason for so long. Between needing help from them and the night nurse, Hannah was starting to feel like a failure as a mother. Like she couldn’t manage to care for him on her own.

  With a sigh, she slid out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She splashed some cold water on her face then dried off with a soft, plush towel. As she brushed her hair, she caught a glimpse of herself in the large mirror over the sink and slowly lowered the brush, her hand tightening its grip on the handle. Once again, the foreignness of her body washed over her as she stared at her reflection. Unwilling to deal with it just then, Hannah dropped her gaze and quickly finished pulling the brush through her hair.

  She dropped the brush on the counter and left the bathroom without looking at herself again. Back in the bedroom, she pulled on the clothes she’d taken off before falling into bed hours earlier. The bag containing the rest of the clothing she’d been given in Kabul sat beside the bed. Soon she needed to unpack it and put the clothes away in the empty drawers and closet. To accept that for the next little while, at least, this was her home.

  Feeling relatively presentable, Hannah left the room and was immediately greeted by the enticing aroma of food. She wasn’t sure what was cooking, but it smelled delicious. She made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Several people were gathered there, most of whom she recognized from the day before, but she didn’t focus on them in her search for Jason.

  “Mitch has your baby.”

  Hannah turned to see Maya standing beside her. “I’m afraid I don’t know which one is Mitch.”

  “He’s the one who looks just like my husband,” Maya said with a smile. “The two of them are in the living room.”

  “And Jason too?”

  “Yep,” Maya said as she linked her arm through Hannah’s. “Let’s go rescue him.”

  “Bring them all back, Maya,” Emily called out as they left the kitchen. “It’s time to eat.”

  In the living room, Hannah spotted Mitch sitting on the couch next to the blonde she’d met the night before. As she approached them, they both smiled at her. Though Jason looked content in Mitch’s arms, Hannah was eager to have him back in hers.

  “You’ve gotta give him back now, Mitchy,” Maya said. “And your mom said it’s time for dinner, so everyone needs to come to the kitchen.”

  Mitch got to his feet and handed the baby to Hannah. “He’s a real sweet baby. Does he ever cry?”

  “Not often,” Hannah said as she cuddled him close and walked with them out of the living room.

  After they’d gathered in the kitchen, Steve said a prayer of thanks for the meal. The food was all laid out on the island counter, but instead of people swarming it to fill their plates, they all hung back, apparently waiting for further instruction.

  “Here,” Emily said, holding out her arms. “Let me hold Jason while you fill up your plate.”

  By then, Hannah had figured out that it was just easier to go along with their suggestions, especially when they made sense. Handing over the baby, she took the plate Steve held out to her. As she approached the food, her stomach growled, but she knew better than to take too much, regardless of how appetizing it all looked. The last thing she wanted was to have to throw food out. Instead, she took a little bit of everything and hoped she could eat it all.

  “Looks good, doesn’t it?” Ryan stood beside her with a plate holding more food than hers did. “Mom asked what you might like. Since we’d had fried chicken already, I figured maybe her famous chicken broccoli rice casserole might be second best. And the biscuits are homemade.”

  “It all looks delicious,” Hannah said. “I hope I can do it justice.”

  Ryan gave her a smile, the skin at the corner of his eyes crinkling. “Just do your best.” He nodded toward the dining room. “Let’s go sit down. I think they put a high chair in there for Jason too.”

  When they entered the dining room, they found that Steve had already put Jason in the high chair at the long wood table. It was a fancy looking chair that had the seat set at a bit of a recline. While Hannah put her plate down on the table next to Jason, Ryan set his down on the baby�
�s other side.

  “Did you manage to get some sleep?” Ryan asked as they began to eat.

  “Yes, though, as usual, I still feel like I need more,” Hannah said. “I wonder if that will ever be gone. The never-ending need for more sleep.”

  “I think it will. Just give it some time.” He glanced at her, one corner of his mouth lifting in a half-smile. “I was guzzling coffee this morning in hopes that it would keep me awake, so you’re not alone in your struggle.”

  Hannah took a bite of the casserole, closing her eyes in appreciation of the flavors. When she opened them again, she found Ryan watching her, a smile on his face.

  “Mom’s a great cook,” he said then took a bite himself. “This was always a favorite growing up—even with the broccoli—so I asked for it tonight.”

  “It was a good choice,” Hannah said. She spread butter on the biscuit she’d taken then broke off a piece and put it in her mouth.

  As they continued to eat, Ryan was drawn into conversation with Bennett, who had come to the house with Grace and their little girl. Hannah focused on her food, taking small bites and eating slowly, hoping she’d be able to finish all she’d taken. It was hard to zero in on any of the many conversations going on around her, so she chose to just eat and keep an eye on Jason.

  Once she managed to finish her food, she lifted Jason from his high chair and settled him on her lap. Bennett’s daughter made her way around to Hannah’s side and stared at Jason.

  “My baby,” she declared with absolute certainty.

  Hannah smiled at her and turned so that the little girl could see him better.

  “I think it’s time for you to give Olivia a sibling,” Ryan said as he nudged Bennett with his elbow. “A baby of her own.”

  Bennett and Grace exchanged looks then after Grace gave a brief nod, Bennett smiled and said, “Well, now that you’ve mentioned it. We have a little announcement to make.”

  “A baby?” Emily asked, excitement making her blue eyes sparkle. “You’re having a baby?”

  Grace nodded. “That’s what the tests and the doctor have said.”