The Boy Who Has No Redemption (Soulless Book 8)

by Victoria Quinn

  “She’s really sweet.”

  “Yeah, she is. It makes up for all the annoying things she does.”

  “Like?”

  “Just little sister stuff.”

  “I wish I had a brother or sister sometimes.”

  “Well, you will soon,” I said automatically. “You can have mine.”

  Her eyes lit up at the offer. “I love your family…they’re the best.”

  I was grateful for them every day, especially after what happened with my mom. “Yeah, they are.”

  “What time is it?” she whispered.

  “Late.”

  “Like, how late?”

  “Two.”

  She cringed. “I hope your mom keeps her until the afternoon…”

  “I’m sure she will.” I knew exactly what my mom was doing and why she was doing it. It was a little awkward, but thoughtful. If Lizzie didn’t exist, my private life wouldn’t be visible, because it was a little difficult to do it all night long for the first time with a teenager down the hallway.

  “I can’t believe my daughter is graduating tomorrow.”

  “It’s exciting.”

  “I just can’t believe she’s going to be in high school in the fall. That means boys, drama, one step closer to adulthood…” She sighed in sadness, like she didn’t want to let her go. “I’m excited to have my own space again, but at the same time, I can’t picture my life without her there. She’s my best friend.”

  “She’ll always be your best friend, baby.”

  “I know.”

  “And we still have a few years to enjoy her and watch her grow into a great person.”

  “Yeah.” She continued to look at me as she played with my fingertips. “I like how you say we.”

  “Because it is we.”

  “But it’s not we in the sense of us being together. It’s we in the sense that she’s yours.”

  I didn’t know anything about being a father, but I did know how to love Lizzie like a daughter, and that was pretty easy. Disciplining her and all the other aspects of parenthood were foreign to me right now, but I’d nailed the most important part. “She is mine.”

  I sat in the stands with Emerson and her parents. The field was packed with kids, and it was hard to see Lizzie because she was so far away. But I watched her grab her diploma and shift her tassel as she left the stage—with a great sense of pride.

  Emerson was emotional, her eyes watering slightly here and there. Her arm was hooked through mine, and sometimes she rested her cheek on my shoulder, squeezing me tightly like her parents weren’t there to watch.

  Some people in the stands turned to look at me like they knew exactly who I was. I wore a ball cap and sunglasses to hide my appearance as much as possible because I didn’t want the day to be about my minor celebrity.

  But word traveled fast in a crowd.

  Her mom was a little cold at first, but she quickly warmed up when she saw how happy her daughter was.

  How happy I made her.

  When the ceremony was over, we moved with the crowd until we made it to the field and located Lizzie. She was talking to her friends, her robe unzipped to reveal the lime-green dress she wore underneath. When she saw her mom, her eyes lit up and she walked over to give her a hug, wearing heels on the grass and handling them well.

  Emerson hugged her tightly and held on for a long time.

  I pulled out my phone and snapped a picture since neither of them noticed. It was a candid picture, capturing the heart of the moment so well. I liked it so much that I made it the picture on my home screen.

  Then her grandparents came over, and hugs were shared all around.

  I became the photographer, taking their picture on my phone.

  Emerson’s mother and father left the frame, and her father took my phone out of my hand. “Get in there, Derek.”

  I smiled then joined them, standing on the other side of Lizzie, placing my arm around her shoulders. The three of us took a couple pictures.

  “Can I have some with just Derek?” Lizzie asked.

  Emerson smiled then stepped away.

  My eyes softened as I stood there with her, looking down at her with pride.

  When we were finished, Lizzie walked over to her mother. “Mom, do you have it?”

  Emerson opened her purse and pulled out a small present in a gift bag. It was blue with blue tissue paper. Lizzie came over to me and held it out.

  I stared at it blankly, unsure what was happening. “Is that for me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I think I’m the one who’s supposed to give you presents, Liz.” I took the bag from her but didn’t open it.

  She smiled. “Just open it, Derek.”

  I gave her a suspicious look before I parted the handles, removed the tissue paper, and lifted the white mug. My eyes read the black print across the surface. World’s Best Teacher. I stared at it for a long time, and slowly, my eyes watered, picturing a memory I hadn’t witnessed—the two of them in the store at Christmastime—because I’d left. But she still wanted to give it to me, thought I still deserved it and I was still a part of this family. I got them back, I got this moment that I thought I’d lost, and that made me so grateful to be there that very second…to get another chance.

  I lowered the mug and looked at her, knowing my eyes were wet and no amount of blinking would fix it. “Thanks, Liz.”

  Her eyes were wet too as she moved into my chest and hugged me.

  I hugged her back, and this time, I wasn’t sure if I could ever let go.

  The next day, we drove up to my parents’ cabin.

  The weather was beautiful, with lots of warmth and sunshine, and it allowed them to see this magical place during my favorite time of the year. The trees were green and visible without the piles of snow on top, there were pinecones on the ground, and the surface of the lake shimmered with the sunshine.

  “This place looks totally different.” Lizzie looked at the lake from the patio, seeing the water move under the sunlight, the tall trees that hugged the cove. She pointed up into the sky. “Look, there’s an eagle.”

  “I think it’s a hawk.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in real life before.”

  “There’s a lot of wildlife out here.”

  She looked down to the pier. “Is that your boat?”

  “Yeah. My dad and I go fishing whenever we make trips out here. Ever fish?”

  She shook her head.

  “I can teach you if you want.”

  “I don’t know… I feel bad catching them and eating them.”

  “My father and I always throw them back.”

  “Oh, okay. I can do that.”

  “Cool. We’ll go in the morning. That’s when they’re most active.”

  Emerson stepped out of the back door and joined us. “Wow, it’s really beautiful here, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah.” Lizzie continued to look at the lake. “Derek and I are going fishing in the morning.”

  “Really?” Emerson stood beside her and placed her arm around her shoulders. “You don’t strike me as the fishing type.”

  She shrugged. “Derek does it with his dad, so I thought I’d try.”

  “You’re welcome to come along,” I said. “The boat is big enough.”

  “Nah,” Emerson said. “You two go along without me. Just sitting in one of these chairs and staring at the lake is enough adventure for me.”

  Lizzie turned to me. “What else do you guys do when you’re here?”

  “Hiking,” I said. “There’re a couple trails around here. My dad and I saw a bear once.”

  “Wow,” Lizzie said. “That sounds cool.”

  “And we make s’mores at night,” I said. “It’s a tradition.”

  “I’ve never done that before,” Lizzie said. “Only seen it on TV.”

  “Then we’ve got a lot of stuff to do this weekend,” I said. “Let’s get to it.”

  I made burgers on the gril
l, and we ate in front of the fireplace.

  Lizzie sat in the armchair between us, just the way I used to sit between my mom and dad when I was little. We would watch the fire and talk about what we did that day, and I would ask my dad questions about insects and anything else that crossed my mind.

  “It’s so hot during the day but cold at night.” Lizzie shifted her chair closer to the fire.

  I walked to the cabinet near the house and pulled out a couple of blankets. I handed one to Emerson first, who gave me a soft smile, and then gave another to Lizzie. “This should help.” I took a seat again and observed them get bundled up and watch the fire.

  “Can we do s’mores now?” Lizzie asked.

  “Good idea.” I grabbed a couple sticks, squished the marshmallows on top, and then passed them around. “They’re the best when they’re a little brown and crunchy, so you’ve got to keep rotating them like on a rotisserie.”

  Lizzie copied me.

  Emerson purposely caught hers on fire then brought it close to blow out the flame. “I like mine a little burnt.”

  Lizzie continued to mimic me so our marshmallows would be the same.

  Emerson put her s’more together and took a bite. “Oh yeah, that’s good.”

  “Okay, I think they’re done.” I pulled mine out, and Lizzie did the same. “Now we build our s’mores. So, we take two graham crackers—”

  “Like this?” She put two squares of the graham cracker on the plate, along with a piece of chocolate on each side. Then she placed her marshmallow on top of half and pushed the s’more together.

  I smiled as I watched her. “Yeah, exactly like that.”

  Lizzie and I sat in the shadow under the canopy with our fishing lines in the water. She looked around at the lake, the waves lightly tapping against the stern of the boat. It was quiet, the occasional hawk screeching in the sky. “So, we just wait?”

  “Yep. Fish aren’t biting today.”

  “Maybe they’re too smart.”

  “Maybe.”

  After she stared across the water for a while, she turned back to me. “You and Mom seem happy.”

  “Yeah, we are.”

  “Good. She’s herself again, which I really like.”

  “Me too.”

  “I’m surprised she hasn’t agreed to marry you.”

  I shrugged. “She will when she’s ready.”

  “Are you going to ask her again?”

  “I will…when the time is right.”

  “If she doesn’t say yes, I’ll pull her hair until she does.”

  I chuckled. “Thanks. But I kinda imagined she would say it without being extorted.”

  “What does extorted mean?”

  “Being forced, basically.”

  She nodded in understanding. “What are you working on right now? Is the rover thing done?”

  “I handed that off to NASA a while ago.”

  “Then what project are you working on now?”

  I really liked talking to Lizzie because she was curious about all kinds of things, but she had the ability to communicate like an adult. She had low self-esteem sometimes, but she was so smart. “Actually, I’m working on the rocket again. I think I’m almost done.”

  “You are?” she asked in surprise. “Mom said you kinda just gave up on it.”

  “Yeah, I did. But I’m back on it.”

  “Cool. I’m sure it’ll work this time.”

  I smiled. “Thanks, Liz.”

  We sat in front of the fire, and Lizzie was knocked out so cold that she was snoring.

  Emerson touched her arm and gently shook her. “Lizzie, go to bed.”

  She didn’t even wake up.

  Emerson shook her again. “Lizzie?”

  Lizzie turned away and pulled her blanket higher without waking up. Her snores continued.

  “We had a long day,” I said. “I’m not surprised. I always tried to stay up late, and I failed every single time.” I rose out of the chair then kneeled to scoop her into my arms.

  “You don’t have to carry her, Derek. She’s old enough to take herself to bed.”

  “I don’t mind.” I held her against my chest and carried her into the house and up the stairs, placing her in the bedroom where I used to sleep when I was little. I set her on top of the bed then pulled the covers over her.

  She still didn’t wake up.

  “Night, Liz.” I turned off the light, shut the door, and then returned to the patio.

  Emerson had moved into Lizzie’s chair so she could sit beside me in front of the fire. She smiled at me as I came back and sat beside her. The glow of the fire hit her beautiful face perfectly, becoming a memory I would cherish forever.

  I grabbed her hand and held it.

  Her head remained turned so she could look at me instead of the fire.

  I kept looking at her too, so grateful that this had happened, that she was really there with me. “I love you.” I interlocked our fingers and kept a firm grip, so she wouldn’t slip away even though she was going nowhere.

  She held my gaze, her eyes steady. “I know you do.”

  My lungs automatically pulled in a breath of air when I heard her say that to me. I loved her more than anything in the world, and I was so grateful that she knew that, that she believed me, that my idiotic mistakes didn’t diminish what I truly felt in my heart.

  “I know I’m not an expert or anything…but I’m pretty sure it’s only supposed to be one piece of chocolate on a s’more.”

  I smiled slightly, reliving moments I’d had with my mom, when I showed her my way of making s’mores, and she adopted that lesson even though she knew it was wrong. It became our thing…and I got to pass it down. “The first time I made a s’more, that was how I did it. My dad told me it was wrong, but my mom went with it—and we’ve been doing it ever since.”

  Her eyes softened to a whole new level.

  “Besides, two pieces of chocolate are always better than one.”

  She smiled. “True. I’m glad Lizzie has joined your traditions.”

  “Yeah, she fits right in.” I enjoyed fishing with her, even when we didn’t get a single catch, and I enjoyed telling her about the different kinds of trees on our hikes. She was curious and absorbent, interested in anything I shared with her.

  I turned to the spot that had been marked for nearly thirty years, where the energy of that memory remained even decades later. “That was where my dad asked my mom to marry him.”

  “Really?” She looked at the spot I indicated with my hand. “That’s sweet. No wonder this place is so special to you.”

  “Yeah.” I stared at it for a while before I turned back to her. “My dad asked me to do it, actually. He asked me to get down on one knee with him and present the ring…and I asked if she would marry us both.”

  Her eyes watered as she imagined it. “Oh my god, that is the most precious thing ever. He made it impossible for her to say no.”

  I could remember it well, remember the sound of the crickets on that quiet night. I remembered my mom’s reaction, the way she succumbed to tears immediately. I remembered the love in her eyes, the way she loved us both, loved me as her son even before she said yes. “Yeah…he did.”

  “Can we stay here forever?” Lizzie sat in the chair in front of the fire, her face covered in chocolate and sticky marshmallows. “This place is the coolest. We’re nowhere near a pizza place, and it’s still awesome. That’s how amazing it is.”

  Emerson smiled at her daughter. “I love it too.” She was bundled up in her blanket, the person she used to be before I hurt her. It took her a while to lower her walls, but once they were gone, they never came back up. She found it in her big heart to forgive me, to be stronger and wiser than I’d ever been.

  “My family is coming up tomorrow,” I said. “They’re gonna stay for a couple days.”

  “They are?” Lizzie asked in excitement. “Cool. What for?”

  “We thought we could have a graduation party for y
ou,” I said. “Dex is coming up too.”

  “Really?” Lizzie turned to her mom. “Did you know about this?”

  “No, actually.” Emerson looked at me on the side of her daughter. “But that sounds like a lot of fun.”

  “Sweet,” Lizzie said before she settled into the chair.

  It turned quiet, the sound of the fire burning, the crickets weaving their soundtrack into the night. The stars were visible and bright, out here in the middle of nowhere where time stood still. But the adrenaline was pounding in my veins because my heart wouldn’t stay steady. I was nervous when I hadn’t been nervous the first time I did this.

  I got out of the chair, slipped my hand into my pocket, and grabbed the ring I’d tried to give her before, and then I slowly lowered myself to one knee in front of them both.

  Lizzie’s eyebrows were high up her face, and she quickly turned to look at her mom, her mouth opened wide. “Oh my god…Mom.”

  Emerson was frozen to the spot because she clearly had no idea this was coming. Her eyes were open and still, the flames reflecting on the surface. She gripped the arms of the chair as she stared at me.

  Lizzie turned back to me, a grin wide on her face.

  I kept my eyes on Emerson as I held the ring. “This is how I should have asked you in the first place—and I’m sorry that I didn’t. I’m not just asking you to be my wife, but I’m asking you to be a part of my family and to let me be a part of yours. I’m asking both of you to marry me, because I know you come as a set, and I know I’m man enough to love you both. I want to be a father to your daughter, a husband to you, and to spend the rest of my life taking care of both of you…and loving you with all my heart.”

  “Yes.” Lizzie turned to her mother and waited for her answer.

  Emerson was already in tears, her eyes bright in the light of the fire, looking at me the way my mom had looked at my dad when he asked the same question. Her hands moved to her cheeks, and she wiped away the rivers of tears, sniffling, and then doing it again because the tears wouldn’t stop.