Radio Gaga

by Nell Dixon

  I’d already told Shelly about the snake piddle when I’d texted her to say Mum had gone. I’d also told her about meeting Angus.

  “What was he like, the fiancé?” Shelly settled back in one of the armchairs.

  “He didn’t say very much. Made no effort to talk to me or anything.”

  “Maybe he was embarrassed. You did get off to an awkward start.”

  “It doesn’t really matter I don’t suppose anyway as long as Mum is happy.” I wished I believed that but deep inside it still hurt that neither Angus nor my mother were very bothered about me. Since the horrible moment when I’d overheard Mum’s conversation I’d been trying hard to put it into some kind of context and see if there was some way I could work through my feelings. Despite my best efforts I still wasn’t there yet.

  Shelly eased off her shoes and wiggled her toes before taking a sip of wine. “Oh, that’s better. Do you know what time you’ll be on?”

  “Between six-thirty and seven I think. It’s that funny, quirky piece they do right before the weather.”

  The pizza arrived and we were about to dive into the box when the presenters in the studio announced my big moment.

  ‘Today Trish went to meet the intrepid Chloe Lark, the local radio presenter who caused so much attention when she collapsed at a charity abseil. Chloe is taking on her worst fears each week in a new series that has everyone talking. This morning Chloe was up for a new challenge, handling snakes at the zoo and Trish went along to find out more.’

  “Oh my God.” I placed my hands over my eyes and peeped through my fingers as Shelly shushed me.

  The screen cut to Trisha smiling and looking perky in the reptile house. The camera panned across to an amorphous yellow blob with a squeaky voice.

  “Oh my God.” The yellow blob with the peculiar scarf was me with the snake. “I had lipstick on my teeth.”

  “Oh hush.” Shelly leaned forward in her chair flapping her hand at me to stay quiet.

  The segment was a tele-visual car crash. Trisha looked and sounded pretty, professional and chipper. I resembled a fluffy Easter chick gone wrong. My grimaces every time the snake moved made me look like a contestant in a gurning contest. Even Shelly was left gasping for breath and holding her sides by the time the snake peed on me, as Trisha made a comedy ‘ugh’ face and eye roll at the camera.

  “Oh God.” I leaned forward and rested my forehead on my knees unable to carry on watching.

  “I’m sorry, Clo,” Shelly spluttered. “That was absolutely brilliant – classic. Babes if that doesn’t make you a star, nothing will!”

  My mobile threatened to vibrate itself off the coffee table with incoming texts.

  ‘Chloe, was that u? Classic’ From my hairdresser.

  ‘OMG, brilliant!’ Country Clare

  ‘Luv u and snake’ Bhangra Bob

  ‘U should have worn the hat’ Merv

  Shelly plucked a tissue from the box on the table and dabbed at the tears of laughter in the corners of her eyes.

  “That was epic!”

  So much for me looking glamorous, pretty and cool on my TV debut. It seemed my destiny lay in being one half of a comedy act with a giant snake. The doorbell sounded and Shelly went to see who was there while I topped up my wine glass and tried to look on the bright side.

  Shelly returned with Ben and Tash. All three of them were grinning like loons.

  “I haven’t laughed so much in ages. That was brilliant Chloe. They’re even going to repeat it on the ten o’clock news.” Tash beamed at me.

  “I thought champagne was in order to celebrate your TV success.” Ben set the chilled bottle down on the table while Shelly fetched more glasses from the kitchen.

  I forced a smile as he expertly popped the cork on the champagne and filled the glasses before the contents of the bottle would escape down the sides onto the surface of the table.

  “Cheers!” Shelly raised her glass.

  “To Chloe,” Tash added, and clinked her glass against mine.

  “Chloe – and the snake!” Ben agreed, a wicked twinkle in his eyes as he took a sip of champagne.

  My mobile continued to vibrate as more texts and voicemails poured in, although a quick look told me none of them were from my mother. It shouldn’t have mattered to me. I knew now what she thought of me and my career and where I ranked in her life. But it still did matter, and it hurt.

  “Circus school next. I wonder what they’ll have you doing there?” Tash mused.

  “Not the high wire act I hope,” Ben muttered. Shelly snorted in an unlady-like fashion.

  “Ha, bloody ha. It’ll probably be clowns. Red noses, big shoes and buckets of goo.” I was glad my suffering was a source of amusement to someone.

  “No, you might get juggling, or being a ringmaster.” Tash tried to cheer me up.

  “At least you got your wish to be on TV.” The twinkle disappeared from Ben’s eyes.

  “Yes, are you going out to celebrate?” Tash asked.

  “We’re planning on going clubbing later. Why don’t you two come with us?” Shelly asked.

  “Oh yes. I haven’t been out for ages, or Ben. Its blues and twos night at the Queens club tonight too.” Tash practically bounced in her seat with excitement and Shelly perked up at the mention of blues and twos.

  “All those hunky firemen, police and paramedics.” Shelly virtually dribbled into her champagne.

  Ben looked as if his drink had turned to lemon juice. “I don’t think…”

  Tash interrupted him. “Stop being such a stick in the mud. We’d love to come; we can order a taxi and make a good night of it.”

  For the first time since we’d met her she seemed animated. Ben reluctantly agreed to accompany us. More I thought to keep an eye on Tash than for any pleasure in our company on a night out. I don’t know if it was the alcohol, the TV experience or Ben blowing hot and cold that had me feeling more depressed by the minute.

  Tash and Ben helped us to polish off the pizza and the rest of the champagne before they went back upstairs to get ready. Shelly was completely hyped up about it being a blues and twos night at the club.

  “This could be it! Remember, blue, that’s what the fortune teller said.” She cracked open the small suitcase she lugged all her beauty stuff around in and started preparing to paint her nails. “They might even let us in the club for free now you’re a famous celebrity.”

  I sort of hoped no one would recognise me after seeing myself in that ghastly Live it Up sweatshirt. I left Shelly painting her toenails and singing Bowie’s Fame to herself, loudly and tunelessly, while I answered some of the texts. Obviously I ignored Merv’s.

  One text came from a number I didn’t recognise. Not that it meant anything as people change numbers all the time and I’m rubbish at remembering to label them.

  ‘you looked gorgeous 2nite on TV. A star.’

  Whoever sent it clearly needed a trip to the nearest opticians. I hoped the text hadn’t come from Neil, he’d always found my TV ambitions hilarious. I sent back a quick thank you and went to beg a face mask from Shelly’s mobile cosmetic’s shop.

  A few hours later, fully glammed up and teetering on our high heels, Shelly, Tash and I poured ourselves into the back of a black cab. Ben got in the front, his expression still suggesting he was only accompanying us under duress.

  The street outside Queen’s club was heaving with people. Blues and twos night was obviously a popular event. My heart sank into my high heels when I saw how many pretty girls in very short skirts were waiting to get inside. I sneaked a peep at Ben to see if he’d perked up at all with the sight of so much totty.

  Inexplicably, my spirits rose when he still wore the same look of grim resignation that he’d worn when he’d entered the cab. With my hair twisted up into a topknot and wearing my best and most flattering dress I didn’t expect anyone to recognise me from the unflattering slot on the news. It was all the more disconcerting then when one of the bouncers shouted.

&nb
sp; “Yo, snake girl. You can cut the line. That was awesome on the TV tonight. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to throw up.”

  Shelly gave me a meaningful dig in the ribs and I scuttled forward with Tash and Ben in tow to jump the queue and enter the club. The line of Ben’s jaw tightened even more when we were waved inside without having to pay and given our first drinks for free, plus a pass to the VIP area.

  It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness inside the club. A pretty girl in a skimpy pink cocktail dress showed us into the VIP area and presented us with a complimentary bottle of champagne. My head was still buzzing from the drinks I’d had earlier in the evening so I was determined not to drink too much too quickly.

  Rather disappointingly, there appeared to be something of a shortage of hunky firefighters and police on the dance floor. I could even have sworn I saw Imran lurking in the shadows near the bar and he definitely wasn’t a member of the emergency services. Shelly, however was consoled for the lack of men by the bottle of champagne and cheerfully filled up the glasses.

  I looked around the club and wondered why I wasn’t more excited. This was what I’d been hoping for. People to recognise me, a taste of the celebrity lifestyle, and yet everything felt flat, like the dregs of a bottle of lemonade that’s been open for two days.

  Tash and Shelly were having a ball. They disappeared off to the dance floor in search of men leaving me with Ben. Or rather me with Ben and a seemingly never-ending stream of random strangers who had all seen my TV debacle and wanted to tell me a) how funny it was and b) offer me drinks or c) request autographs and phone pictures.

  Ben’s expression became frostier and frostier as the night wore on. Tash and Shelly were busy enjoying themselves but somehow I wasn’t in the mood to dance. I did venture down to join them a few times, Ben stayed where he was barely sipping at his champagne and looking thoroughly disgruntled.

  “Ben really hates being here, doesn’t he?” I yelled in Tash’s ear to make myself heard above the music.

  She nodded. “I think he only agreed to come because he thinks he should keep an eye on me.”

  “Does he normally hate clubbing?”

  She shook her head. “It’s not his favourite thing but since.” She stopped talking, a stricken look on her face.

  A tall skinny youth danced his way in between us so I lost my chance to ask her anything else.

  “Hi Chloe.”

  I squinted through my false eyelashes trying to remember his name. “Nice to see you again, um, Kevin.”

  He smiled at me apparently pleased that I’d remembered his name. I edged back as he continued to jog from one foot to the other, flapping his arms like a stunted chicken as he separated me from Shelly and Tash.

  “It’s great here, isn’t it?” He leaned in so I could hear him and I tried not to flinch at his stale, beery breath.

  “Yes.” Oh lord, Kevin had to be the club equivalent of the ‘nutter on the bus’. If he asked me if I came there often I’d start giggling.

  “Can I get you a drink?” he puffed.

  “That’s very kind of you, but my friends have already got me one.” I waggled a hand in the direction of the VIP area.

  “Oh right.” He flapped his arms even more enthusiastically as the music changed to an upbeat number.

  The people around us were giving him a wide berth, presumably in case he knocked them over or trod on their toes.

  “I saw you on the telly.”

  I smiled to show I’d heard his comment.

  “You looked gorgeous.” His face, already flushed with exertion turned an even deeper shade of red.

  “That’s very kind of you.” Where were Tash and Shelly? I needed someone to rescue me.

  “Is everything okay?” A deep male voice sounded right behind my ear as a hand settled on my waist. Heat burned through the thin fabric of my dress.

  “Ben!” I turned around straight into his arms.

  A shiver of delight ran through me as he held me, his dark blue eyes gazing into mine.

  “You were giving off desperate signals.” His mouth was inches from my ear, his breath warm on my skin.

  “I was praying for a rescue.” I glanced around but Kevin had vanished as suddenly as he’d appeared leaving me in Ben’s seriously hunky arms.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Everyone surrounding me seemed to vanish as my world narrowed down to Ben. I gazed back up at him hoping and praying he would kiss me. Not the tiny chaste kiss of the previous night, but a real, proper kiss. Our eyes met and I tried to read the emotions in those sea-blue depths.

  “I don’t think you’re enjoying being here any more than I am.” He released me.

  I stayed rooted to the spot for a moment. My pulse still raced from where he’d held me. The confusion must have shown on my face because he frowned and marched away from me, back to the VIP area. Dazed, I looked around and saw Tash and Shelly busily chatting up two fit looking blokes over by the bar.

  “Sorry, love.” A man bumped into me, slopping some of his lager onto my dress.

  I threaded my way through the throngs of dancers and headed back to the VIP area. Ben had resumed his seat on one of the dark blue leather couches and was busy reading something on the screen of his phone.

  “Why don’t you go home, then?” I took the space on the sofa next to him as he replaced his phone inside his trouser pocket. “You don’t want to be here, so why not go home?” Irrational anger bubbled up inside of me.

  “What about you?” His eyes offered a challenge.

  My heart skipped a beat. “What about me?”

  “Come home with me.”

  I blinked at him, thinking I’d misheard him over the noise of the club.

  “What about Shelly and Tash?” My palms started to sweat. I must have misunderstood him. He probably was just suggesting we shared a taxi back to the house.

  His gaze locked into mine and my pulse raced even faster. I hadn’t misunderstood.

  “I’ll talk to Shelly and Natasha.”

  Stunned, I grabbed the remains of my glass of champagne and knocked it back in one gulp as Ben went off to speak to his sister and my friend.

  In no time at all Ben and I were ensconced in the back of a cab speeding back towards home. He’d made no move to touch me, no kisses, no hand holding, nothing. He stared out of the side window of the taxi as we drove, not even speaking.

  Doubts started to tug at me, eroding my confidence and popping my champagne-induced buzz. What was I thinking? The taxi pulled to a halt and Ben paid the fare, frowning at me when I offered him half the money.

  The night air was cool and I shivered on the doorstep as he unlocked the outside door. Inside the communal hallway I paused, unsure if I should say goodnight, ask him in for coffee or follow him upstairs.

  He closed the outer door behind him and turned to face me. I thought my heart would break its way through my chest and wing its way towards him, it was beating so hard. Suddenly that invisible current between us was back.

  “Here we are then.” I sounded as if I’d been sucking helium from a balloon; my voice was high-pitched and squeaky.

  “Looks that way.”

  “I expect you’re glad to get out of the club. All the attention and people wanting my picture and everything and…”

  He silenced my babbling with his lips. Ben tasted of champagne, wine and hot male. His body was firm and hard against mine as I kissed him back, tasting him. I revelled in the feel of his hair, soft as silk where it curled into the nape of his neck as I held him to me, his kiss deepening.

  His hands moved lower to cup my buttocks so I was pressed closer to him leaving me in no doubt that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Desire heated in my stomach. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d wanted a man this much. Certainly I’d never felt this way about Neil. This was pure unbridled lust.

  “Your place or mine?” If we didn’t move soon I might feel compelled to start unbuttoning his sh
irt right there in the hall way.

  “Yours. Tash will bring Shelly back to mine.” His breath was warm on my ear as he kissed the sweet spot right below the lobe.

  Oh my God, we were actually going to do this. Reluctantly I eased myself free so I could find my key from the tiny little bag I had slung over my shoulder. My fingers were shaking so hard I fumbled with the fastener prompting Ben to take it from me and extract the key.

  He opened the door and gently pulled me inside the flat. I stumbled inside, anxious to feel his lips on mine. The front door clicked shut behind me as he took me in his arms again. A shiver of excitement ran through me as he manoeuvred his hands under the hem of my dress.

  The sensation of his hands as he slid his fingers beneath the scanty material of my knickers to caress my skin drove me crazy. I tugged at the buttons on his shirt, somehow managing to prise them through the buttonholes so I could touch his body.

  We moved along the hallway to my bedroom, kissing as we walked. Ben lost his shirt and I lost my shoes, my knickers and my inhibitions as we went. Inside the doorway to my room we paused. My breath caught in my throat as I caught sight of Ben’s bare chest in the moonlight. Overlaying the firm muscle lay a tracery of pale scar tissue, the ridges and bumps I’d discovered with my fingertips when we’d been kissing in the hall.

  Something in my expression must have betrayed me.

  “Does it put you off? Seeing this?” His gaze fixed on my face. His question was low and guttural, tearing at my heart.

  I shook my head. “No.” My overwhelming feeling was sorrow that someone had done this to him. He could have died. All I wanted was to take him to bed and kiss each and every one of those ugly welts as if I could somehow take them away.

  I stretched out my hand and ran a finger over the ugliest ridged scar. Ben shrank away from my touch at first as I traced from the crest of his hip around his side and towards his spine.

  “Shrapnel.” He remained as still as stone after that initial movement.