"Oh the creek!" The Viscountess suddenly appeared at Gabrielle's side as if by magic, beaming at Gabrielle. "Felix and his brothers played there every day. I know he enjoyed being able to share that with you, dear. I couldn't have chosen a more perfect bride for him than if I'd picked you out myself."
Like a force of nature, the Viscountess suddenly had Gabrielle and her stepmother moving again, both of them almost in a daze as they continued their stroll, Felix's mother between them, chattering away and providing a much-needed buffer. Surreptitiously glancing around, Gabrielle immediately knew that no one had even noticed that she had been about to tear into Cordelia, right there and in public. She felt ashamed that she'd failed Mother in such a way, and so grateful for the rescue. Even stranger, Mother didn't seem upset with her or Cordelia, although she did keep them apart for the rest of the tea.
As Gabrielle chatted and sipped tea, the tension that had wound itself around her spine during her conversation with Cordelia slowly relaxed. Every time Cordelia caught her eye, she would stiffen again, but only a little. Hopefully she would be able to avoid her stepmother for the rest of the Season.
******
"What do you mean you invited them to dinner?" Gabrielle was incensed and Felix couldn't understand why. Her nostrils flared, eyes sparking with fiery heat, and she looked so much like the hellion he'd first married that for a moment he thought he'd somehow traveled back in time. "You said you wouldn't make any more decisions without me!"
"Life altering decisions, sweetheart," Felix said, rubbing his temple. This was not the way he'd imagined spending their time before Philip and Cordelia arrived. "Not who to invite over for dinner."
"I don't want her here!" his wife shrieked. With her fists clenched at her sides, she looked as though she was contemplating throwing something at him again. Possibly a punch. When she glanced at a heavy china vase that was sitting on a nearby table, Felix frowned.
"Gabrielle!"
Her nostrils flared again and then she straightened, chin up, chest out, and eyes like lit coals. Obviously she'd caught the warning note in his voice - he wouldn't hesitate to spank her if he felt she deserved it, and then she'd have to sit through a dinner she didn't want with a roasted bottom.
"Yes, dear, of course, dear, whatever you say, dear." The simpering sneer in her voice made him wince before she turned and stalked towards the kitchen. Ostensibly to inform Jacques that they would have guests for the evening meal.
"Sweetheart..."
Ignoring him, she just moved fast down the hall.
For a moment, Felix contemplated following her, but he decided not to. He'd expected her to be in a good mood when she'd arrived home from his mother's tea, but instead she'd been quiet and introspective. Then he'd thought that hearing Philip and Cordelia were coming to dinner would cheer her up, or at least start a conversation... but it certainly hadn't been the one he'd aspired to. Since he'd already done nothing but make the situation worse, and she'd managed to control herself and keep from doing anything that would require punishment, he wouldn't prod her and risk pushing her into acting in such a manner that would. Instead he would let her calm down. After dinner, once Philip and Cordelia left, he could ask what was bothering her.
To his relief, his ploy seemed to have worked. Gabrielle arranged a menu with Jacques and then went to her room to dress for dinner. When she came downstairs, she looked resplendent in a silk dress made of varying shades of pink, trimmed with gold braid, and her hair done up high on her head. Small diamond earrings hung from her ears, but the simple gold chain around her throat made him frown. Tomorrow he would go to the jewelers and pick out some pieces for her. He'd noticed that her jewelry box wasn't very full, and most of what it held was appropriate for a debutante or a child, not for a woman married to a Viscount's son.
"You look beautiful," he said, bowing over her hand and giving it a kiss, allowing his admiration to show.
To his consternation, she didn't seem as thrilled as she usually did by the compliment; she seemed uncertain and appeared a little sickly. Was she not feeling well? Was that the real reason she'd come home from tea out of sorts and had been upset about their dinner guests? Concerned, Felix opened his mouth to ask, but then the doorbell rang. Immediately, Gabrielle braced herself, with all the determination of a soldier about to enter battle.
Sighing inwardly, Felix turned as Taylor opened the door, admitted the Marquess of Dunbury and his wife. Beside him, Gabrielle stiffened even further as Cordelia rushed towards them, a huge smile on her face.
"Welcome back to London!" she said, hugging Felix. He hugged her back gently, and then, just as gently, pushed her away. A frown creased her brow until he turned to Philip, holding out his hand for a greeting. Felix's lips twitched as he realized that Cordelia's navy satin dress matched Philip's waistcoat. He wondered if Philip had noticed. Cordelia turned to smile at Gabrielle. "Hello, again, Gabrielle."
Felix frowned. Again?
"Welcome to our home," Gabrielle said, her face looking somehow pale and wane, reminding Felix of his worry that she wasn't well. Still, she air kissed with Cordelia, and then Philip gave her a hug and a fatherly kiss on the forehead.
"You look beautiful Gabrielle, and the house is lovely," Philip said, not one iota of his expression betraying he had been the one to find it originally and knew it had come fully furnished. Gabrielle beamed up at him, looking a bit less strained.
"Thank you, sir," she said. "I hope you've been well."
"Very," he said affably, holding his arm out to her. Gabrielle took it and began to lead him down the hall to the dining room, leaving Felix and Cordelia in their wake.
Torn between his happiness at seeing his friends again, his worry over Gabrielle, and his protectiveness of her, Felix found that he couldn't quite erase his frown.
"Why didn't you welcome Gabrielle home as well?" he asked, stiffly holding out his arm.
Cordelia blinked up at him, her lovely hazel eyes looked a bit pink around the edges, now that he could see them closer. "I saw her earlier today at your mother's tea," she said. Which immediately made Felix wonder exactly what had occurred at the tea between the two women. "I don't think she was very pleased to see me."
The sadness in her tone made Felix feel even more torn between the two ladies, because he'd also seen how unhappy Gabrielle had been upon her return that afternoon. Before, he would have wondered what Gabrielle had done, sure that gentle Cordelia couldn't possibly have precipitated the event. Now, he just wondered what happened.
"Perhaps because you hadn't been to visit her on your own already?" he asked, trying to keep the censure out of his voice as he began to lead her towards the dining room, at a much slower pace.
"I did come... but..." Cordelia took a deep breath. "When I heard you weren't at home I decided to come at a different time. It's just been so... so calm and I've been feeling so wonderful, and I was afraid that without a buffer between us that, well, Gabrielle might ruin that. But I know it was wrong and cowardly, I should have visited whether you were at-home or not. Philip had a... a discussion about that this afternoon."
By the rising pink in her cheeks, Felix took that to mean that Philip had spanked his wife for neglecting her duty as a stepmother. So he tamped down on his resentment over Cordelia's assumption that visiting Gabrielle could have ruined her happy state. It would take more than just a few weeks apart and a reunion to change the way the two women behaved with each other, and it seemed as though Philip already had his wife in hand, and Felix would have to be content with that. No matter how much he wanted to scold Cordelia.
"I think that, if you give her a chance, you'll find that Gabrielle will be a much better friend than she was a stepdaughter. Now that you don't have to live together, I'm sure you'll get along better," he said.
"I hope so," Cordelia replied, smiling up at him tremulously. Feeling as though he'd made a good start at mending the breach, Felix smiled back as they entered the dining room.
******<
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The smile on Gabrielle's face felt brittle and strained, making her cheeks hurt as Felix and Cordelia finally walked into the dining room, looking at each other the way they always had.
Inside, her emotions were raging. Some were familiar, when it came to Felix and Cordelia, like jealousy, bitterness, and envy. Others were new, like the fear that was strangling her. The disappointment that nothing had changed. The well of misery that made her feel like she was falling, so much so that for just a moment she thought she was going to faint.
Glancing at the Marquess, she could see that he either suspected nothing or didn't care. Of course, he could rest easy in knowing that Cordelia was his. She might flirt or keep other men (namely Felix) hanging by a metaphorical hook, like a fish, but she would never betray the Marquess. She loved him.
Gabrielle had no such assurances.
The hope that she'd felt, the hope that had kindled out in the country, was crumbling to dust, and it tasted like ashes in her mouth.
Wrapping her old emotional armor around her like a familiar shroud, Gabrielle turned away from looking at either her stepmother or her husband, and focused on her table. The silver chargers underneath the china were gleaming, the candles were long and tapered, and the flowers in the center were full and bountiful, but not so high that it would be impossible to see over them and carry on a conversation. Perhaps that last had been a mistake. Gabrielle could have used a more potent shield than her own icy determination, even if it was made of flowers.
Because she was avoiding looking at them, she missed the adoring look that Felix gave her and the frown when he saw she didn't seem to have noticed that he entered the room. She also missed the wincing way Cordelia sat down - something she would have both understood and sympathized with.
The first few courses of the meal were pure torture as Felix and Cordelia chattered and gossiped, obviously intent on renewing their close friendship. It was strange - when Gabrielle wanted to summon tears, she could do so at the drop of a hat, but when she actually felt like crying, all her efforts were put towards keeping the tears at bay. Which she was grateful for, because it would have been extremely humiliating to sob into her potato and leek soup just because Felix was regaling Cordelia with some of the stories about his childhood that he had shared with Gabrielle just mere weeks ago.
They were just stories after all. Nothing significant.
So Gabrielle calmly sipped her soup and stayed silent, because who cared if Felix shared stories with Cordelia? Who cared if he showed her the parts of himself that Gabrielle had thought were hers, that she'd been so delighted by because it was something she'd known he hadn't shown Cordelia?
Chasing all the hurt and other, finer and more delicate, emotions in her heart into a little box, she closed it up tightly. This was her life. Her initial consensus had been proven correct - she had been foolish to hope for more. Foolish to think that a few weeks in the country with her husband might mean replacing Cordelia in his affections, much less fall in love with her.
The Marquess inserted his own remarks into the conversation, although he seemed happy to let Cordelia and Felix hold the reins. No one seemed to notice that Gabrielle wasn't participating. She'd become used to that living in Dunbury House, but Felix's family had included her and so it felt almost unnatural to be so quiet. Inwardly, she cursed herself for ever losing the habit.
As their soup bowls were cleared and the trout in lemon sauce and capers brought in, Felix suddenly remembered he had a wife.
"Gabrielle slipped and injured her ankle in the creek," he said. "I started teaching her chess while she recovered, to keep her entertained."
Such a simple recounting of the games they’d played shouldn't have felt like a betrayal, but it did. Was every moment of their time together going to be presented to Cordelia for her to know? Would none of the memories remain shared between them and no one else? Gabrielle's heart felt like it had been stabbed. Taking a bite of the fish, the sourness of the sauce feeling all too right, Gabrielle avoided her husband's eyes.
"She's very good at it, I've been playing for years and I struggle to beat her now," he said cheerfully.
"That's wonderful," Cordelia said, and Gabrielle could feel her stepmother's eyes on her as well. She ignored them both. "Philip's tried to teach me, but I haven't really the head for it. I'm much better at whist."
"Perhaps Gabrielle will play with me some time," the Marquess said. Gabrielle looked up to meet his eyes. The expression on his face as he looked at her was filled with curiosity, but she doubted it had anything to do with the chess game. He didn't look quite as foreboding as she would have expected; in fact, he looked almost concerned. "If you'd like a more advanced teacher than Felix, that is." The sly grin he sent in the direction of his friend made him look almost approachable.
This was the Marquess at his best, the almost fatherly way he'd been with her on the night of her come-out. Gabrielle found herself giving him a small smile back. "That would be lovely, thank you, sir."
To her right, she could practically feel Felix frowning at her as she turned her attention immediately back to her plate. Part of her was snidely delighted to have his attention on her, to know that he knew she was ignoring him. Another part of her wished he wasn't focusing on her, because she didn't know how well she would be able to control her temper if she was actually required to speak to him and her stepmother.
Unfortunately, now that her husband had remembered her existence, he apparently wanted her to speak as well.
"Gabrielle, sweetheart," he said, as she tried to keep her shoulders from stiffening at the endearment, "what was your favorite part of our trip?"
"The solitude," she replied, eyes on her plate as she lifted another forkful of food.
Felix coughed and she felt a tiny spike of victory.
"It must have been nice to have a break from all the noise and constant company in the capital," Cordelia said. Gabrielle wanted to sneer at her stepmother. In the past she would have. Perfect Cordelia to the rescue, attempting to spread peace and joy everywhere. Showing off what a delightful lady she was, smoothing over Gabrielle's rough edges. Which, of course, just made Gabrielle look even more like a harridan and Cordelia even more like a sweet, genteel lady. She couldn't just keep her mouth shut and let everyone pass over it and start a new topic of conversation, she had to point out by her example just how much better she was than Gabrielle.
Resentment churned and Gabrielle's jaw clenched to keep her from saying anything more. She knew it would only make her look worse and - even more lowering - probably earn her a spanking from her husband for daring to be rude to darling Cordelia.
The silence hung heavy over the table and Gabrielle knew all eyes were on her.
She lifted another portion of fish to her mouth.
"Gabrielle." Felix's tone was reproving.
Gabrielle chewed, lifting her eyebrow at him as if to say - you answer her. Obviously Gabrielle couldn't. Her mouth was full. Oh darn.
Sighing, Felix turned back towards Cordelia. "It was very pleasant to be away, although it's nice to be back as well. I enjoyed the break from all the social activities while it lasted. And my parents certainly enjoyed having us until they came back to London."
"Did you enjoy getting to know the Viscount and Viscountess, Gabrielle?" Cordelia asked, in that coaxing way she had. That tone that said 'see how hard I'm trying to reach out to my stepdaughter?' It grated on Gabrielle's already overtaxed nerves.
"Very much," Gabrielle said, before falling silent again. She took another bite of fish.
"My parents adored her," Felix said swiftly, filling in the gap. "They asked her to call them Mother and Poppa immediately."
Silverware clattered against china, the sound loud and surprising enough that even Gabrielle looked up to see what had happened. Cordelia's face was rather pale, her eyes huge as she stared across the table at Gabrielle.
Clearing her throat, Cordelia picked up the fork again. "How lovely."
> Bitter satisfaction simmered as Gabrielle realized that her stepmother was somehow hurt by the idea of Gabrielle calling someone else mother. Although, Cordelia had admitted that she thought of Gabrielle as more of a sister, apparently some part of her still felt replaced. Rejected. It felt good, powerful, to see that something about Gabrielle could actually hurt Cordelia, rather than the other way round. And so she did exactly what she'd been telling herself not to do - she lashed out.
"Mother is the sweetest, most generous person in the world," she said smoothly, her voice laced with saccharine sweetness. "She welcomed me immediately and made me feel right at home, like I was her real daughter. We spent every afternoon together and she's already taught me so much. She's everything I ever wanted in a mother."
It was all true, but none of it needed to be said so outright, especially not to Cordelia. In her heart of hearts, Gabrielle knew that Cordelia had tried, to the best of her ability, to be a good stepmother to Gabrielle. But she had been young and inexperienced herself, in no way ready to be a stepmother to such a resentful stepdaughter and an indifferent husband. And Gabrielle knew that Cordelia's marriage to the Marquess hadn't been motivated by a desire to cause a huge upheaval to Gabrielle's life or to rub in Gabrielle's face what she would never have, and, logically, she knew that Cordelia's desire to marry Gabrielle off hadn't been purely selfishly motivated...
But knowing all of that didn't change any of how it made her feel.
Now if only she felt better looking at Cordelia's sad face. It was almost enough to make her falter and apologize, until she caught sight of Felix's expression. He looked just as condemning and angry as the Marquess - and he had no right to be! Ignoring Gabrielle all evening while dancing attendance on Cordelia, and now being just as angry at Gabrielle as Cordelia's husband? Shouldn't her own husband have some kind of faithfulness?
Gabrielle's Discipline (Bridal Discipline Book 3) Page 21