The Gauntlet

by Lindsay McKenna

  Relief, sweet and splintering, flowed through Cam, and a huge, nameless weight was lifted from his shoulders. Miraculously, he felt lighter, more free. As he drove on, mile after mile through the countryside that paralleled the bay, he gradually understood what had happened. He’d finally released his family—and it had been Molly’s love that had made it possible.

  Cam savored the realization, the hours flowing around him in a cocoon of memories and good feelings. He’d never forget his family. No. They owned a piece of his heart and his memory. He knew that Molly would never feel threatened by that, and that he’d always hold Jeanne and Sean close in a good and positive way.

  By the time they reached the bridge that spanned the Chesapeake Bay and would guide them by Annapolis, Molly stirred. Cam divided his attention between driving and watching her slowly awaken. How badly he wanted to see her wake up in his arms some morning after making slow, beautiful love all night. Each of her movements was graceful and unhurried as she stretched and yawned.

  “I was dreaming,” Molly said in a sleepy voice, her eyes half open. The spans of the bridge crisscrossed like shadows on the windshield of the car.

  “Happy dreams?”

  “No…”

  “Tell me about it.”

  Molly dragged in a deep breath. “They were about my father.” She studied her hands. Several of her fingernails had broken during the ejection. That was how she felt inside presently: broken up. Glancing over at Cam, she saw the softening of his mouth, the tenderness in his blue gaze when it held hers briefly.

  “I know his not contacting you hurt,” Cam ventured.

  “Do you really think he loves me?” Molly grimaced. “What a stupid thing to ask. I know he loves me. That sounds silly.”

  “No, not silly at all.”

  “I feel abandoned, Cam.”

  “I know. But—” he smiled gently “—you’ve got me, plus your friends Dana and Maggie. You aren’t alone.”

  Molly reached out, sliding her hand across Cam’s. It was such a natural response. His long, strong fingers wrapped around her hand, and some of the pain fled from her heart. “Friends are so important to me. I don’t know what I’d have done without all of you through the past five years.”

  “Your father loves you, Molly. He just doesn’t realize it yet.”

  She couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice. “I’m so angry at him, Cam. I nearly died out there yesterday. He could’ve called. He would’ve flown down to see me if I was really important to him.” Her eyes mirrored her anguish as she looked out the window, not seeing the beauty of Maryland. “He’s got Scott so wrapped around his finger that he didn’t call, either.”

  “It’s a messy, complex situation,” Cam agreed quietly. “I think the only thing that will help will be time and keeping the lines of communication open, Molly.”

  “Oh, sure. Once I get back to my apartment, I’ll call him and say, ‘I’m okay, Father. I almost died out there, but I’m fine now.’”

  “Your father has too much pride. It’s a very expendable emotion, Molly. Don’t wear it like he does. Do whatever it takes to let him know you love him and Scott. I know it’s hard, but it’s the only option you’ve got unless you want to close up the way he has. That could last years. I’ve seen it happen in other families. Is that what you want?”

  “No,” she muttered. Rubbing her temple, she said, “I don’t want to talk to him. I’m too emotional right now. I’ll write a letter instead.”

  Cam nodded. “Letters are fine. I’m proud of you, Molly. I really am.”

  She managed a slight smile. “Nobody said living was supposed to be easy, did they?”

  “Sometimes it’s more a can of pits than a bowl of cherries.”

  Laughing, Molly wanted to throw her arms around Cam’s shoulders and kiss him. There was such care and love in his eyes as he glanced over at her. Her heart beat painfully hard beneath her ribs. Yes, she loved Cam. Nearly losing her life had forced Molly to rip away the blinders and admit the truth. Did he really love her? A part of her thought so. Another part didn’t know. Time, she cautioned herself. They had to have time.

  “I’m going to take you over to your apartment and then go over to TPS for a while,” Cam told her. In another hour and a half, they’d be home. Home. What would it be like to have Molly at his house? It would be a home then—not the empty shell it was now.

  “You’ve got work to do?” Molly asked in disbelief.

  “Well,” Cam hedged, “I have to get this accident report filed and on the commandant’s desk by Monday. Now, don’t go looking scared, Molly. You’re in the clear on this. No grades will be given to either student. I’m sure the commandant will want the test repeated.”

  “By Martin and me?” she demanded, her eyes widening.

  “Not if I can help it,” Cam answered grimly. No way in hell was he going to let Martin get at her again. On Monday, Cam would learn the commandant’s decision.

  * * *

  “It appears to be a fluke in the test,” Captain Rawlins told Cam and Vic, who stood at parade rest in front of his desk. He placed the file in front of them. “Schedule Martin and Rutledge to fly on Wednesday. They’ll also have to fly again on Friday with different students. I expect Rutledge to have her next test-flight program ready for Friday, Vic.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Captain,” Cam said tensely, “I’m going to step out of line and say that I don’t feel it’s in Martin’s or Rutledge’s best interests to have them fly together again.”

  Rawlins looked up. “Oh?”

  Cam squirmed. He couldn’t prove Martin had done anything wrong on that flight. To stand here and accuse him of such would be stupid and foolhardy. Rawlins would want proof, and he had none. “Sir, there’s a real personality conflict between them. Vic will validate that—”

  “Yes, sir, there is,” Vic chimed in.

  Scowling, Rawlins sat back in his leather chair, scrutinizing them. “That won’t wash, Cam, and you know it. If you want, check Martin out on spin tests before you send them up if you’re worried about his performance. If he screws them up, let’s reassess his capabilities.” He jabbed a finger at him. “But that’s the only scenario where I’ll reassign Rutledge to another pilot so she can complete the necessary spin-test requirement for graduation. Understand?”

  Disheartened, Cam nodded. “Yes, sir. I’ll go up with him this afternoon.”

  “Good. Dismissed, gentlemen.”

  Out in the hall, Vic walked at his shoulder. “You’re worried about something, Cam. What is it?”

  “Nothing,” Cam muttered, keeping his personal feelings tightly controlled. Rawlins had given him a way out. He’d take Martin up in an F-14 this afternoon and make him do spins until he was airsick, if necessary. But if Martin passed the examination, Cam was helpless to stop the test from being reflown.

  * * *

  Martin walked cockily across the apron from the hangar, helmet and duffel bag in hand. He grinned over at Cam.

  “You look a little green, Captain Sinclair. Did my spins get to you?”

  Cam shook his head. Darkness was coming over the air station as they walked to the waiting van that would take them back to Ops. “Your spins were acceptable, Mr. Martin.”

  His smile widened. “So I go up with Rutledge on Wednesday. Is that it?”

  Climbing into the van, Cam nodded. “That’s right.” After he got back to TPS and changed into civilian clothes, Cam was going over to visit Molly. He felt sick inside, helpless to protect her when his gut was telling him Martin was up to something. But what?

  * * *

  Molly smiled and stepped aside to allow Cam into her apartment. He had Miracle with him, and she leaned over, hugging the dog affectionately.

  “This is a surprise,” she said, closing the door. Cam wore a pair of ivory corduroy slacks and a cranberry flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The shadow she saw in his eyes lessened her smile. “What’s wrong, Cam?”
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  There was no sense in scaring Molly or making her worry about his unproved suspicions. “Nothing.” He forced a smile. “You look pretty.” Molly wore a dark blue turtleneck and a plaid wool skirt that grazed her ankles. She looked old-fashioned, beautiful and incredibly delicate as she stood before him. Cam tried to separate his feelings from his reason for coming over. It was almost impossible. Molly’s blond hair lay in mussed abandon around her shoulders, her green-and-gold eyes alight with such happiness that Cam wanted to crush her in his arms and hold her forever.

  “Thank you. Come in. I was just making some lemon tea from my grandmother’s old recipe.”

  “I like your grandmother. I’m just sorry I never got to meet her,” Cam said, following Molly in the kitchen. Everywhere he looked the decor was Oriental. Instead of stainless-steel bowls, Molly had copper ones that hung from various hooks around the modern kitchen stove in the center of the room.

  “She’d have loved you,” Molly told him, meaning it. Pouring the tea into two delicate china cups, she handed one to Cam. “It’s been quite a day. Everyone with the exception of Martin was really glad to see me at school. I got pats on the back, handshakes and congratulations.” Molly laughed and moved to the living room and sat down on the couch. Cam sat on the overstuffed chair nearby.

  “Anybody who survives an ejection is looked upon with respect,” Cam informed her.

  “Heck of a way to earn respect.” Molly laughed, curling her feet beneath her, and smoothed out the wrinkles in the plaid skirt.

  “You’ve changed those guys,” Cam said seriously, sipping the fragrant, tart tea.

  “At first they thought I was a joke because I was a woman invading their strictly male territory.”

  “Yes. But after five months, with hard work, savvy and your own brand of statesmanship, you’ve changed their minds.”

  Molly grinned and watched Miracle come and lie down between them, resting her head on her paws. “My womanly diplomacy, you mean.”

  “Exactly. TPS is better off because of your presence here. A gentler spirit has made the men realize there’s more than one way to approach and solve problems.”

  “You mean,” Molly suggested, “I’ve taught them you don’t need to bang heads, curse and outshout the other person to get your point across.”

  Cam nodded.

  “What’s bothering you?”

  He moved uncomfortably. “You have to fly with Martin on Wednesday.”

  Molly frowned and compressed her lips. She held the cup between her slender fingers. “I guess I knew that in my heart. There’s no reason why the commandant wouldn’t order us to repeat it, is there?”

  “No….” And then Cam told her about retesting Martin on spins earlier that day. He saw some of the worry leave Molly’s eyes.

  “Want to take a look at my Friday test? It’s a really good one.” Molly got up and went to her office and got the printout. She spread it across the coffee table, and they knelt beside each other, checking her test. Cam devoted his attention to her mathematical figures, and the complexity involved in it.

  “Looks good,” Cam congratulated.

  “At least I won’t have to fly it with Martin. I hope I get Dalton. He’s really a top pilot.”

  Cam smiled. “See? You’re already behaving like a test-flight engineer. You’ve got your favorite pilots picked out.”

  Gathering up the printout, Molly smiled. “You’re my favorite pilot, but I’ve never flown with you.”

  Sitting down on the sofa, Cam smiled. “I trust your assessment is strictly an emotional and personal opinion, Ms. Rutledge?”

  Molly nodded and sat down next to him, curling into her favorite position. “I like what we have, Cam,” she admitted hesitantly. “Maybe this is the wrong time and place to talk about us, but after Saturday, something happened.”

  Cam held the teacup gently in his hands, slowly turning it and studying the flowers painted on its sides. “I like what we’re becoming to each other, Molly,” he admitted quietly. He turned his head and held her lustrous green gaze. “Dammit, I’m having one hell of a time keeping my hands off you, keeping my feelings to myself and giving you the room you need in order to focus on TPS.”

  His admission flowed through her like a warm wind after an icy, chilling storm. “Saturday ripped away a lot of things,” she whispered.

  “Saturday was hell,” Cam said flatly. “Hell.”

  “Is this why you’re so worried about me flying with Martin? Because you…” She hesitated, hating to put words in Cam’s mouth. “You care for me?”

  Placing the teacup on the coffee table, Cam moved toward her and picked up her free hand. “I care very much, Molly.” His voice vibrated with barely leashed feelings. “Everything I said to you in the hospital when we kissed and I held you, I meant. Nothing’s changed. It’s just that…well, dammit, it’s the wrong time for you.”

  “Me?”

  “You’ve got a month of school left. You need to focus on that, not on us.”

  Her mouth curved faintly. “Cameron Sinclair, you’ve been a part of my focus from the day I met you in the hall staring blackly at me.” Molly realized she might have said too much and hastily added, “But you’re right, it’s only a month.”

  “It’s important that you graduate for yourself, Molly. If I walked into your life, like I want to, I’d end up destroying your focus. I know that.”

  She grinned recklessly. “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

  “Marines know they’re number one, angel.”

  With a laugh, Molly clapped her hands. “I never realized you had this playful, teasing side to you. I like it!”

  Her laughter went straight through him like blazing, heady sunlight. There was so much Cam wanted to share. His smile dissolved and he held her delighted gaze. “One month,” he promised her thickly, “just one more month, and then, Molly Rutledge, you’re fair game—so watch out.”

  She thrilled to the dangerous undertone in Cam’s dark voice. The need to love him, to share her dreams, her hopes with him, spiraled hotly to the surface. Stilling those needs, Molly nodded. “Okay, one month.”

  With a groan, Cam stood. “I want you to know it’s hell being around you. But it’s the sweetest kind of hell I’ve ever experienced.” There was something to say about taking his time with Molly. Cam found himself enjoying nuances he’d never discovered about any woman.

  Getting to her feet, Molly said, “I’ve got a favor to ask of you.”

  “Sure.”

  “You have the duty at the station tomorrow night?”

  “Yes, I’m station-duty officer. Why?”

  “I want to make one last computer run of my flight test before I print out the one I’ll give to Vic. I’d like to do it tomorrow night over at TPS. Since you’ve got the duty, you’ve got the key to let me in after hours.”

  Cam nodded and slowly walked to the door with Miracle at his side. He didn’t want to go home. He wanted to stay here tonight, with Molly. “No problem. How about if we both go out and eat and I’ll take you over to TPS after that?”

  “Great idea.”

  “Our first, unofficial dinner date,” Cam teased, opening the door. If he didn’t leave now, he’d stay. God, how he wanted to stay. Molly looked lovely standing there, her hands clasped in front of her.

  “Make it 2100? That’s when you close up the school. We can run over to the base restaurant, grab a bite and then go back. It will only take me an hour to run my program.”

  Groaning, Cam nodded. “Some date.”

  “You’ll survive, Sinclair. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She leaned up on tiptoe, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Good night.”

  “See you in my dreams,” Cam whispered, kissing her lightly on the lips, but wanting to capture her and hungrily make love with her.

  * * *

  They were sitting at the restaurant on base when Cam’s beeper went off. As duty officer, he carried one for the entire twenty-four hour shift. Molly
frowned and sipped her coffee. Any problems that arose, he had the responsibility to handle them. When he came back from making the phone call to the duty office, he looked unhappy.

  “There’s been a break-in at the exchange,” he told her. “I called Shore Patrol and they have a key for the school. I told them you have permission to go there.” He glanced at his watch. “It will probably take me an hour to check this exchange problem out.”

  Molly rose and slipped the strap of her purse over her left shoulder. As always, they were in flight suits while on the base. “Fine, I’ll be kept busy, believe me.”

  “I wanted another half hour here with you,” Cam complained, walking her out the door after paying for their meals.

  Molly smiled as she stood outside the restaurant. A Shore Patrol truck would pick her up and take her to TPS. “See you later.”

  Cam waved and walked toward the parking lot at the rear of the building. The crisp November night was frosty, his breath white. The hour he’d planned on savoring with Molly was gone. With a sour smile, Cam got into his Corvette and shut the door. Well, he would just have to be patient and stop trying to plan odd moments alone with her like this. Being on SDO duty meant expecting the unexpected.

  * * *

  The Shore Patrol driver opened the rear door to the darkened facility for Molly. She thanked him and he nodded. Once the door was closed, the young sailor locked it again. Locating the switch, Molly flicked on the hall lights. The place was deadly quiet as she turned and climbed up to the second floor via the emergency exit stairs.

  Noticing a dim light in the computer room down at the end of the hall, Molly frowned. She hadn’t seen it from outside the building because the room was windowless, as most mainframe computer rooms tended to be. Perhaps Cam had forgotten to turn it off during his last tour of the facility before locking up for the night.

  Her garrison cap in one hand and her briefcase in the other, Molly pushed open the door to the facility. There were four rows of computer terminals, three monitors at each station. Her frown increased. She always worked at terminal two, monitor three, and that’s where the light was on. Moving down the long room, Molly turned and halted. She saw that her flight test was on the screen of the monitor. Not only that, but as she moved closer to inspect, she noted that the printout was of her forthcoming Friday test.