Blessed Tragedy

by HB Heinzer

  “How in the hell did you get all those tickets?” Jake growled at me, almost grilling me like I was on the stand. I just smiled at him, and he knew one call to my brother Jon and I could have had any seat in Fenway Park for the night, or any night.

  Baseball was my passion. Ever since I was a little girl the only place I wanted to be was on top of the Green Monster. The first time I sat up there with my father my heart skipped a beat and I had a feeling of passion like never before. I came alive.

  My days started staring at the park and often ended listening to the crowded park singing Sweet Caroline in the distance, as I drifted off to sleep. It was my level of comfort.

  “Quit daydreaming and let's get out of here!” Jake barked and snapped me right back into reality. I was free till Tuesday when all my final exams consumed my life, making my brain ooze directly out of my ear. “After you sir” I replied.

  ****

  “Wooooooooo! A toast! To freedom and Fenway!” I screamed as we all saluted to each other with our plastic cups full of ballpark beer. “I'll drink to that” Shay chimed in as others shouted in agreement with us. She hated baseball, but hated missing a good time even more. With a smile on her face she was my date for the night.

  We all made our way to our third base line seats as the stands started to pack in. It was damn near impossible to wade through the crowds when the stands were full without some guy trying to grab a cheap feel. I looked good tonight although not as good as the busty blonde Jake had on his arm. I would never understand why he toted around these trophy wives in training while all he really wanted was a Justin Timberlake look-a-like in his life. Maybe a bit of each?

  I was sporting my favorite red sparkly Red Sox cap with my long brown pony tail pulled through the back of the cap, along with my favorite pair of worn skinny jeans and a white Red Sox tank top. Perfect for the beautiful Boston evening. I like keeping it casual, Lord knows growing up my mother packed me into every pink, crinoline infested, ladylike dress she could get her hands on. Some days I just wished I grew up poor. Which I always knew was a selfish thought.

  I was too caught up in my own daydreaming to notice the two guys who sat down in front of us. One was the typical tall, dark, preppy, and handsome that I had been on oh-so-many dates with. Guys like him just bored me to pieces. The tales of pre-law or pre-med classes made me want to snore over my fancy dinners that never filled me up. But my father liked them and I felt like I had to be someone I am not just to get his approval.

  The other guy though, there was just something about him that almost made me snap my neck staring. Shay immediately noticed my curiosity giving me an elbow to the ribs. “Don't hurt yourself there Charlie” she whispered.

  He was tall, very tall. At least a foot taller than my short five foot frame, maybe more. But what I noticed the most was his arms. Visible muscles under a sea of colorful tattoos. “Am I going to have to pick your jaw up off the ground girl? Get your shit together before homeboy notices!” Shay looked at me like I was a ghost.

  Tonight she looked impeccable. Her short black hair gently styled into a side bang, perfect smile that lights up a room, and her caramel mocha skin is completely flawless.

  As soon as I started to break my stare he turned around and we were locked in an elementary school staring contest. His deep blue eyes paralyzed me. My stomach felt like it was full of butterflies, my panties immediately were soaked, and I felt as though I was losing my damn mind! No man had ever had an impact on me as much as this mystery man did in that moment. I felt like a pre-teen at one of those seven minutes in heaven parties. Did he know who I was? Damn near everyone in Boston did!

  “Shay, join me to the ladies room?” I begged, just to get out of the uncomfortable situation I found myself stuck in. Since when did my sanctuary of Fenway Park become so uncomfortable? This was going to be a long night, and the only way I knew to comfort myself was with a full cup of beer at all times.

  “Anything for you Charlie!”

  As we made our way to the bathrooms I felt like all the blood had rushed out of my body, and I was floating on a cloud. My legs were Jell-O, and I tripped a couple times. What the fuck was happening to me? When I finally snapped out of it I leaned into Shay, who was examining me just like I was some kind of patient of hers. “Do you think he knew who I am?”

  “Who doesn't know who you are?” she laughed at me.

  “A girl can hope right?” I giggled back like the school girl I had become. Immediately the mood had lightened which is exactly what I needed tonight.

  My friends called me Charlie but my real name was Charlotte Ann Windsor. My mother a local historian and my father a world class pediatric surgeon who pioneered dozens of modern pediatric procedures at Boston's famous Children's Hospital. Philanthropists in the local community. Pillars of high society. Something I could walk away from tomorrow and never look back. It was a shadow I hated, because of the unwanted attention it brought. Scrutiny I learned to deal with, especially during my out of control teen years.

  “More beer Shay?” I asked.

  “You bet your ass! Tonight we celebrate!” Shay replied with gusto.

  “Celebrate what?” I was confused as hell, what the hell was there to celebrate? The upcoming week of tedious testing? Or the fact that we had three days before the hell began?

  “Your new found boy toy girl! Go gettem girl!” I couldn't help but laugh at Shay. She was always so optimistic! Acting like I was some kind of outspoken, confident broad or something.

  As we giggled in the beer line making complete asses of ourselves the guy in front of us turned around annoyed at the bitches having way too much fun, and there he was again. Mr. Tattoo. Just staring at me with a look of oh shit, I sorry, in his eyes.

  I wanted to ignore him until he turned around to actually speak to me. “Bentley Young, we can't seem to stay away from each other this evening” he said as he leaned in to shake my hand. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. To be honest with you, I am surprised I didn't hit the ground in that moment.

  A shove from Shay snapped me out of my trip to Mars and I put my hand out to meet his. “Charlotte, but my friends call me Charlie”.

  As he touched me there was a spark. More like fourth of July fireworks. I thought I was going to blow up right then and there. His touch engulfed me. Just as all the lustful feelings flowed through me like electricity he pulled away. I could tell he was intrigued just by the look on his face. He had the same feeling flowing through him, I just know it.

  “Well, it is very nice to meet you Charlie. I hope to see more of you this fine evening.” And Bentley strolled off into the crowds as the announcers started getting the fans riled up for the game. There was no feeling like a Red Sox Vs. Yankees game in Fenway park. It was the best game you really could go to as a fan.

  Shay gazed at me with a look of humor in her eyes. I was never flirty with a guy, ever. Right then she burst out into song “Bad boys, bad boys, what cha gonna do? What cha gonna do when they come for you?”

  I spit my beer out everywhere laughing, while strangers stared at the scene. She certainly is a word doctor if I have ever met one! We rushed back to our seats before the first pitch, I didn't want to miss it and secretly I really wanted to check out the other scenery.

  Shay had come to live with our family after her mother was killed in a car accident when we were young. Maybe ten if I remember correctly, but it feels like she has always been my adopted sister and best friend. We always joked that we were the same Ebony & Ivory that Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder sang about back in the 80's. On occasion we can actually get some Boston U sorority ditzes to believe it too. Those moments were priceless!

  Being the only biological daughter in a sea of boys had been hard, but it helped me to hold my own as I grew. Besides Shay, I grew up with three older brothers, all of who are huge baseball fans. Baseball games were a family thing, weekly. Thankfully none of my brothers joined his evening or I knew I would never be able to get a word
in with Mr. Tattoo. Their overbearing need to protect me after all the shit I got into in high school overshadowed any ounce of trust I should have gained with my good behavior in college.

  “What took you ladies so long?” Jake asked with a look of suspicion as we shuffled back into our seats. He knew from the moment he saw our mischievous grins we were plotting something and he was dying to be included. But, the less people who knew of my school girl crush the better.

  ****

  As the innings went on and the Sox started raking in the runs the crowd was getting more and more lively. Mr. Tattoo would turn around and flirt a little, sometimes just give me a pantie wetting grin, but it was doing the trick.

  By the time the seventh inning stretch came we were hammered. To use the word drunk would have been an understatement.

  In typical Fenway tradition we heard the music start, and we all chimed in on cue “SWEEEEEEEEET CAROLINNNNNEEEEE BOM BOM BOM!”

  At that moment Bentley jumped over the seats, grabbed my hands and pulled me to dance. Could this really be happening right now? Everyone I was with gasped and watched with a sense of protection, just waiting for him to make the wrong move. All while plotting our hook up in the same moment. Right there in the aisle we were dancing to Fenway's traditional tune, all smiles, like in a movie.

  “GOOD TIMES NEVER FELT SO GOOD! SOO GOOD! SOO GOOD! SOO GOOD!”

  In that moment, this tough looking mysterious man dropped to his knees serenading me for all to see. My face flushed as-red-as the hat on my head, but I didn't care, I was having a ball with it. Who was this mystery man and what was he doing to me?

  The ballpark photographers all clamored over to take a picture of the scene Bentley had created on the third baseline. Clicking away in hopes of selling some souvenirs.

  When the song ended he took my hand and placed a small kiss on it and headed towards the exit. Almost like he had methodically been planning his early musical exit. His touch nearly sent me over the edge. It was euphoric. Something I had never experienced in my entire life. I wanted to touch him back but I was frozen in shock. Was I being punked?

  The dozen friends that packed the row with us just stared at me with a blank face. Some whispering to the other, some with their mouths hanging open waiting to catch a fly, everyone else cracking jokes about my new boyfriend. The fact was they knew I was unavailable. I had dated around through college but never took an actual boyfriend and I wasn't planning on that changing till I was done with college in a year.

  It was then I became aware of the fact that he walked away. I was never going to see him again. Panic. Pure panic! This man who just sent electricity through me walked away and I would never see him again! I needed his touch, I wanted his hands all over me. What could I do?

  “I think I am going to head out for just one last beer before the game ends,” I excused myself and headed in the general direction my new fetish. Just then Jake threw in his two cents “Uh huh, like you need another beer, good luck finding him, he is long gone!” and I bolted!

  When I realized there was no way I would catch up with him I stopped for a beer and headed back towards my seat. Just as I reached the entry way for the section I heard a voice behind me, “You were just going to let me walk away like that?” and my heart sank. I turned around to find my school girl crush standing so close to me I could smell him.

  The mixture of cologne and beer was almost heavenly. I found myself wanting to grab him right then and there and plant my lips right on his. I wanted to taste this stranger I knew nothing about. Yet I was frozen. But he wasn't.

  He took me in his arms, right there in the tunnel for anyone to see. Putting his arm around my waist and the other on my face. As he brushed his knuckles down my cheek, he leaned in and planted the softest most sensual kiss, I had ever experienced on my lips. I melted in his arms. The way he made me feel in that moment was foreign. He might as well have stripped me naked and took me against the wall with the sensations that were going through my body. After his romantic gesture he let me go and backed away repeating his question.

  “Uh... I... I... didn't think... I... don't know” I stuttered out. I couldn't speak worth a shit. What the hell was wrong with me? His spell was potent and I couldn't break free.

  “I thought you were interested by the way you have been looking at me all night long. I must have been wrong.” His words were like a small knife right into my chest. “I don't normally make it a habit of hooking up with strangers in a ball park” I spit out at him. What the hell am I thinking? I like this guy! He is going to run!

  “I'm not a stranger anymore Charlie, remember you introduced yourself.”

  “I wouldn't think that made us friends.” I said and continued to sabotage any chance there was in seeing this man again.

  As he walked away from me I was finally able to breathe again. When he was standing there next to me I might as well have been in my birthday suit for all of the ball park to see. It was embarrassing and I had these feelings I have never been exposed to. I knew I blew it with him, but a feeling of relief came over me. “I don't need a guy in my life right now anyway!” I mumbled as I headed back to my seat.

  As I rounded the corner there was Shay and Jake chatting it up with Mr. Tattoo. They are conspiring with the enemy! When they noticed me on my way to the seat they pretended like they weren't doing anything wrong. There was no way I was letting Shay get away with it.

  The game ended and we stumbled back to our apartment only a couple blocks away. When I hit my bed I knew I have overdone it with the alcohol for the night and I was out in seconds.

  ***

  All weekend brought dreams of Bentley. Dirty dreams, like the kind you have when you fall asleep watching Cinemax and you wake up to the cheesy porn remakes with horrible plot lines. Saturday and Sunday nights I found myself waking up turned on, soaking wet and in need of a cold shower. What am I a horny teenage boy now?

  I replayed our kiss in my mind, repeatedly. I scolded myself for walking away. I beat myself up over the way I treated him. How could I be so heartless when I wanted him more than any man, ever?

  No matter what I tried I couldn't get him out of my mind, but he was long gone. In a city with six hundred thousand people I would never see him again.

  I decided I would blog about it. Not like it was much of anyones business, but it was what I did when I was bored. I opened my Macbook Pro and let all that I could remember from Friday night type out onto my keyboard. The drinks, the chance meeting in the beer line, the scene we made dancing, and Bentley serenading me, and against my better judgement I included the kiss. I knew I wasn't going to see him again so what kind of harm would it cause. I didn't use his name, he could ride off into the sunset, safe from my crazy life.

  I was smart enough to schedule the post for later in the week so I wouldn't be near my computer when my friends started to harass me about the posting. “Tuesday morning should do!” I mumbled to myself as I hit schedule.

  ***

  Monday morning brought me my last day of freedom before three days of pure hell, known to us college folks as final exams. I decided after I crawled my ass out of bed I would see if Shay wanted to head down to Starbucks and grab a frap before a pedicure. I reached her bedroom but she was no where to be found. Maybe I should have left my bed before noon?

  I headed out to Starbucks pulling my phone out on the way to see if I had any e-mails. I couldn't help it, since I gave up my Blackberry for an iPhone I was addicted to everything about it. Nothing new in the world of my social life, or lack there of.

  I walked in and ordered my drink and pulled out my phone to check in on Foursquare. I sat down and enjoyed my drink with a copy of the newest celebrity gossip column. It had been a long while since I found myself in any of the Boston area tabloid type columns so I secretly enjoyed the fools who landed themselves in the trash. Secretly I wanted to make sure no one caught a picture of that kiss from Friday night.

  It was at that moment I got this
eerie feeling that someone was watching me. It was fuckin' creepy! I finished up my coffee and got ready to head out to the salon, quick. Without looking up I headed towards the trash can when felt like I walked into a brick wall.

  “I am so sorry... I should have been....”

  When I looked up to apologize to whatever it was in my clumsy path I was shocked. Bentley was standing in front of me with an amused smirk on his face like he planned on me running straight into him.

  “Fancy meeting you here Miss Windsor” he said with a laugh. How did he know my last name? His smile was probably the most perfect I had ever seen. I couldn't stop sizing him up. He was wearing a tight white shirt with some black writing on it with a pair of dark blue jeans with a backwards Red Sox hat on.

  “How are you doing Mr. Young?” I barely choked out.

  “I was having a sub-par day until I saw your beautiful face Charlie,” he said without skipping a beat. “I missed you over the weekend, I was hoping to run into you at another game. I was greatly disappointed when I didn't because I have something for you.”