The Saucy Lucy Murders

by Cindy Keen Reynders

  Eva wrinkled her nose. “If I’d fixed this place up, I’d have gone with a retro look. Leather sofas and lava lamps and a black wrought iron bed.”

  “I thought this might suit Aunt Gladys better,” Lexie explained. “Remember, she is in her seventies.”

  “And she was also a Las Vegas showgirl in her heyday. Remember the photo album she showed us one time? It had pictures of her wearing all those lame’ costumes that showed her butt. Oh, and those goofy headdresses and tasseled boob pasties she wore. Oh, my God!” Eva rolled her eyes dramatically. “You’d think she was actually proud of herself.”

  “Eva, girl, watch your language,” Lucy scolded.

  Eva darted an irritated glance at her aunt.

  “Aunt Gladys made a good living as an entertainer, Eva,” Lexie said. “She put Cousin Bruce through Harvard law school. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “But Bruce is such a big loser! He’s still living off fried rice and fish heads in the Orient. And now he’s totally abandoning his mother.”

  “Lexie is only taking Aunt Gladys in for a few months until Bruce returns from Singapore to take care of her,” Lucy commented.

  Eva snorted. “Right, like I believe that. Bruce will never come to get her. He’s made a life of staying away from Aunt Gladys and her harping.”

  “Eva, honey. Honest, we’re only keeping Aunt Gladys temporarily.”

  Eva threw her arms in the air. “Whatever, Mom. I just still can’t believe she got herself in trouble at the rest home. She’s pretty ancient to be doing the mattress mambo with some old fart.”

  Lucy made an outraged sound. She turned bright red, whipped a fan from her purse and began to wave it madly in front of her face.

  Lexie squeezed Eva’s shoulders, silently asking her daughter to spare her aunt from such bold, but truthful language. “Sweetie, I don’t think there’s an age when doing the, uh, mattress mambo, is against the rules. Unless you do it in a retirement home.”

  “Exactly,” Eva said. “She is a complete Looney Toon.”

  “Eva, dear,” Lucy interceded. “It isn’t charitable to pass judgment on Aunt Gladys or her lifestyle.”

  “Whatever.” Eva glanced around the renovated attic with a shrewd eye. “You don’t think this place’ll be a little too Miss Daisy for her? I mean, this is an old bag who takes shots of tequila straight up, screw the worm.”

  “Eva!” Lexie glared at her daughter.

  “Well, that’s what Dad always used to say. He never liked Aunt Gladys much.”

  “She never liked him either, honey.” Considering her experience with men, Aunt Gladys had probably seen through Dan’s good looks and smooth talk years ago. Why couldn’t Lexie have done the same?

  “Speaking of Dad,” Eva said. “Have you heard anything from him lately?”

  Lexie exchanged glances with Lucy. She’d told her sister about the letter she received from her friend in California bearing news of Dan and Davina’s newest arrival. Lexie and Lucy agreed if Dan didn’t soon tell Eva she had a baby sister, Lexie should.

  “I got a letter from Ann Tollerton the other day. She mentioned him.”

  Eva’s expression brightened. “What did she say?”

  “Ahem.” Lucy walked toward the door. “I’m off to church, ladies. It’s potluck Sunday, and I need to collect my chicken stew and chocolate pudding. I’ll see you later.” With that, she ducked out of the attic.

  Eva stared after her Aunt, then turned to Lexie. “What’s going on, Mom? What did Ann say?”

  “Eva, sit down.” Lexie steered her daughter to the sofa where they both plopped down. “Ann said your father and Davina had a baby girl.”

  “Really.” Eva blinked, then turned to stare out the round attic window. “My bedroom’s empty so I guess they can put the baby in there.”

  “Eva, are you OK?” Lexie patted her daughter’s back. “I know this is a shock.”

  “Sure. I’m fine.” Suddenly Eva put her face in her hands and groaned. “Jeez, Mom, why didn’t he tell me? Why doesn’t he talk to me anymore? I don’t even know my little sister’s name.”

  Lexie felt sad for her daughter. It must be hard to have been the apple of her daddy’s eye for so long, then have him abandon her. What was he thinking?

  “I’m sure he’s just so caught up in this new life he’s making some poor choices.”

  “Doesn’t he love me anymore?” Eva asked miserably, looking at Lexie with tear-filled eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “Oh, no. It’s not your fault. It was never your fault. You are a good person, a good daughter. Your father’s apparently dealing with some emotional challenges. Give him time.”

  “You’ve always made excuses for him, Mom. And he was awful to you.”

  Lexie shrugged. “I married him and I stayed with him. That was my choice.”

  “Why didn’t you ever leave him?”

  “You were little. And you loved your daddy. I didn’t want to spoil that for you.”

  “Oh, Mom.” Eva hugged her mother and the two of them sobbed softly. After a while, Eva pulled back. “We’re OK now, aren’t we? We don’t need him.”

  “I don’t. But someday you may want to have a relationship with him again. He is your father, after all.”

  Eva stood and brushed away her tears with the back of her hand. “That doesn’t mean I need him.”

  Lexie stood next to her taller daughter. Tall like her father. When he’d blasted off into the ozone layer with Davina, did he have any idea how much he would hurt his little girl?

  “Don’t make snap decisions, sweetie. We all have our disappointments, but life has a way of changing things as time goes on.”

  “Well, right now I don’t care if I ever talk to that jerk again. He’s got a new wife and a new baby so he obviously doesn’t need to pay attention to me any more.” Eva grabbed her jeans jacket and put it on, then turned to Lexie. “When are you and Aunt Lucy going to pick up Aunt Gladys from the funny farm?”

  “We’re leaving tomorrow. Can you still come home and mind the café?”

  “Sure. I’ll be done with classes for the week and I’m not scheduled to work at the bookstore for a while.”

  “You are an angel.” Lexie hugged Eva. She walked downstairs, watching as the girl got into her car.

  Eva fished keys out of her purse and slid them into the ignition. “I want to take you out for your birthday Saturday night. Dinner and a movie maybe. Is that OK?”

  Lord, that’s right! She would be thirty-seven— she’d nearly forgotten. AARP would be knocking on her door before she knew it. She sighed. “Sure. We have to take Aunt Gladys, though.”

  “Not a problem. She’ll get a kick out of what I have planned. Later.”

  Lexie waved as Eva drove down the dusty street, wondering why her daughter thought Aunt Gladys would get such a kick out of dinner and a movie. It wasn’t like the old gal didn’t get around, even in a rest home.

  A gust of warm October wind blew dry brown leaves across the porch when Lexie went inside. In the kitchen, she made herself a cup of hazelnut coffee. She pulled mixing bowls and utensils out of the dishwasher and began to assemble the next day’s café menu. Beef stew and the usual sandwich fillings, apple pie, and huckleberry muffins.

  As she worked, she considered her revelation to Eva about Dan’s baby. Had she done the right thing? Eva had asked for the truth and she had told her. The girl was growing up and needed to understand life was not always kind.

  She shifted her mind back to Aunt Gladys and the duty she had taken on. The woman was going to be a handful. But at least the trip to Denver to pick her up at the rest home would give Lexie and Lucy an opportunity to talk to Ernie and Sophie Howell.

  For the past few weeks, Lexie had been calling around Denver to all the magic shops she could find, looking for the one Ernie Howell owned. She was about to give up when, on a stroke of luck, she’d run across his store—Houdini’s Hideout.

  She’d probably have t
o sell herself on the streets to pay her phone bill next month. No doubt it would make her face crack when she read the amount. But if they got enough information from the Howells to clear her name, it would be worth it.

  Lexie was anxious to have Gabe Stevenson off her tail. Though, for some strange reason, a part of her was thrilled he might be interested in her.

  Even if it was for all the wrong reasons.

  The next morning at the ungodly hour of five a.m., Lexie—all showered and dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt—tiptoed into Eva’s room to tell her goodbye. Then she went downstairs to the kitchen and had a bowl of cornflakes and skim milk.

  Silently, Lexie took stock of things. Since Eva would be manning the fort she had made sure several freshly baked loaves of bread, sandwich fillings, and soups were on hand for customers. Eva would only need to keep the crock-pots warm and fill the orders.

  Finished with her last minute evaluation, Lexie watched out the bay window for Lucy. When her sister drove up in front of the house, Lexie slid on a down jacket, scooped up her purse and hustled out into the frosty dawn air.

  Lexie’s truck wasn’t fit to handle the long trip to Denver and there wouldn’t be room for Aunt Gladys anyway. Lucy’s vehicle, therefore, would transport them on their next undercover adventure, with the side trip to collect Cousin Bruce’s mother from Mountain Shadows Rest Home.

  A cloud of steam swirled from the tailpipe of Lucy’s car as Lexie hopped inside. Teeth chattering, Lexie said, “S-s-sure glad your car’s warm. You could hang meat outside. Think we’ll run into any icebergs on I-25?”

  “I really doubt it.” Lucy said, laughing. She was dressed in a dark navy dress, dark support hose, and a pearl necklace. “Did you remember to pack your amateur spy kit?”

  “The one with the secret decoder ring?”

  Grinning, Lucy nodded.

  “Nope. But I did bring Cracker Jack.” Lexie pulled two boxes out of her purse.

  Lucy rolled her eyes heavenward. “Lord have mercy. You’re going to make me fat as a cow.”

  “If the Lord has mercy, He will help us find the murderer so Stevenson can take me off his suspect list,” Lexie said.

  The sisters munched on caramel corn, not saying much. But Lexie could tell by the set of Lucy’s lips that she was displeased by the inconvenience of not only having a sister under suspicion for murder, but also having to collect a crazy aunt from a nursing home. In her mind, Lexie agreed this wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences, but what could she do?

  Once it was light, the bright blue sky, slashed with a few wispy clouds, arched overhead like a huge dome. As the time went by, the temperature warmed and the sisters shed their jackets. Lexie rolled down her window, watching as waves of heat shimmered on the cars flying past.

  Several hours later they reached Denver with its skyscraper horizon and Front Range mountain backdrop. It seemed summer hadn’t left the big city yet, even though further north autumn’s morning and evening temperatures had frosted unfortunate flowers into withered vines.

  Lexie slipped the Denver city map from Lucy’s glove compartment and studied the highlighted route to Houdini’s Hideout. For a moment, everything was a jumble of numbers and licorice ribbon streets. Thank goodness someone had invented maps. Otherwise, Denver would remain an asphalt jungle to anyone who didn’t live there.

  “What exit do I take, for Pete’s sake?” Vehicles zoomed past Lucy’s car like popcorn in a pan of hot oil, and the corners of her mouth twitched nervously. “I’d like to know before the next century.”

  “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Luce.” Lexie scowled at the map. “We want exit three-twenty. It’s coming right up.”

  “Finally.” Lucy slid onto the exit ramp. “Right or left?”

  Lexie glanced back at the map. “Right. I mean …” She held up her hands, noting the hand her wedding ring used to be on. “Left! Sorry. Take a left at the light.”

  Lucy raised her brows. “Are you sure which left you want me to take?”

  Lexie nodded. “The left that goes this way.” She gestured with her wedding ring-less hand.

  Traffic was crazy as Lucy threaded her way through the narrow streets of downtown Denver until she got to a small strip mall near several rows of tacky older brick homes. Lexie noticed Houdini’s Hideout as soon as they pulled into the pot-holed parking lot. “There it is,” she told Lucy, pointing. “See the black top hat and the magic wand on the sign?”

  “Here we are.” The car rolled to a stop. “What do we do now?”

  “Let’s go inside and check it out. Play it by ear, you know?”

  “Get ourselves into some innocent trouble?”

  Lexie grinned and nodded.

  Inside Houdini’s Hideout were several aisles of magic equipment in fancy packaging. There were card tricks, strobe lights, fantasy gear, sweeping black capes, and top hats—you name it. Everything to warm the cockles of an amateur magician’s heart.

  It was a modest establishment … not extremely large, but not exactly postage-stamp-sized, either. Adding to the mystical atmosphere of Houdini’s Hideout were its deep purple walls decorated with yellow star, moon, and sun decals.

  The checkout counter was located on one side of the store where a small woman with a dark page-boy hairstyle was waiting on a line of customers, a few of whom were rambunctious little boys with stern mothers trying to keep them under control.

  The world of illusion sported some pretty hefty price tags. So hefty Lexie would have had a difficult time affording even a small, disappearing coin box with her café earnings.

  “Go look around and ask the lady at the counter some questions. Let me know what you find out.”

  Lucy patted stray hairs coming loose from her bun. “If you insist. But I really have no idea what this will accomplish.”

  When Lucy wandered toward the pageboy clerk, Lexie looked around for a bit, examining various items until she reached a small raised stage at the back of the store. Several people, both young and old, were gathered around a flaxen-haired man probably in his late thirties, wearing a top hat and cape, performing along to soft music. As Lexie watched, he did the white-rabbit-out-of-a-hat trick, and made several white doves appear in a cage, then disappear. Impressed, Lexie glanced around to see how he might have engineered such incredible feats.

  The crowd clapped after the man’s last trick, then a young boy of about ten wearing baggy pants and a baseball cap spoke up. “How did you do that, mister? I mean, that was pretty cool.”

  “Ah, a great magician never gives away his secrets,” the man declared. He tapped a paperback book with his magic wand. “But for fifteen dollars and ninety-five cents, you can buy my book, Ernie the Magnificent’s Tricks and Illusions. Guaranteed to give you instant success at being a great magician. That is, if you follow all the rules to a T,” he added.

  “Mom, can I get one? Puh-leese?” The youngster stared up at his mom with a long face and beseeching puppy dog eyes.

  Mom clenched her jaw and shook her head at her son, mouthing a silent, emphatic, No, and ignored the boy’s pouting disappointment.

  Lexie stared hard at Ernie the Magnificent. Was he Ernie Howell? Proprietor of Houdini’s Hideout and jaded husband of Sophie? She moved closer to the stage, intent on listening and watching.

  “I need an assistant,” Ernie declared, his gaze searching the crowd. Immediately a dozen hands shot in the air. “How refreshing. A crowd of eager apprentices. But for this particular trick, I need a grownup. You … the young lady with the lovely red hair.” He gestured at Lexie with a patient smile. “Could I convince you to be Ernie the Magnificent’s assistant for his next trick?”

  “Me?” Lexie squeaked, moving slowly through the crowd. “I’m afraid I’m no good at magic, Mr. Magnificent.”

  “You don’t need to be,” Ernie the Magnificent continued, his chest pompously puffed. “Leave the illusions to the master.”

  Lexie cleared her throat and stepped onto the stage. “Uh, sur
e, Mr. Magnificent. Whatever you say.”

  Ernie rolled out a brightly painted coffin on legs and gestured at another table laden with wicked-looking saws. He made a grand sweep of his hand, indicating Lexie should crawl inside the coffin.

  Lexie cringed. She really didn’t want to do that. She wanted to disappear. Fast. Swallowing hard, she whispered to the master, “Uh, look, Ernie. Is this safe? I mean, I’m too young to die.”

  She thought of her upcoming birthday. Eva probably thought she was older than dirt. Heck, Eva probably thought she named dirt. Too bad. Lexie wasn’t ready to be pushing up daisies.

  Not just yet.

  “I assure you, Madame, Ernie the Magnificent has never harmed an assistant yet.” He took Lexie’s arm and guided her firmly toward the coffin.

  Lexie took exception to the yet part. What was that all about? She didn’t want to be the yet assistant. As the master helped her lie down inside the box, heart pounding like a jackhammer, she screwed up her courage. Ernie the Magnificent wouldn’t risk his budding reputation by killing one of the volunteers in his performance, would he?

  That would be very bad for business.

  As Ernie closed the coffin lid, Lexie found her voice. “Uh, Ernie,” she said softly. “Did you recently move to Denver from Moose Creek Junction?”

  “I wish you wouldn’t interrupt my magic trick, young lady,” he whispered hoarsely. “Why do you want to know?”

  “That’s my hometown.”

  “Hmmm. Thought I recognized you.” He clicked another lock into place. “Must have seen you around.”

  The master turned to face the crowd and said with a flourish, “And now for my magic saw trick. Watch closely, ladies and gentlemen. My magical powers are second only to the great Harry Houdini himself.”

  When he turned back to Lexie, she whispered, “Did you move from Moose Creek Junction? You and your wife Sophie and your two boys?”

  He looked visibly shaken. “I’m in the middle of a performance here and my concentration shouldn’t be disturbed,” he returned in a low, irritated voice.

  “What do you know about Henry Whitehead?”