Shadows Within (The Dark Mind Trilogy Book 2)

by Matthew Goldstein

  Beth returned shortly after, but she did not disturb him in the library, instead heading directly to her room. With Amy gone and only his grumbling aunt around, he was becoming desperate for the company of others. Thus, when he deemed it late enough, he gave a call to the only other person he could talk to, Michelle.

  She answered on the first ring, and her cheerful voice was music to Cole's ears. “Hey, Cole. What's up?”

  “Hey, what are you doing today? Would you wanna maybe hang out?”

  “Oh man, Cole, I'm really sorry. I have plans with Arthur today and tomorrow I have a family party. But I'll see you on Monday, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay.” He struggled to keep the soul-sucking depression out of his voice.

  “How are you doing by the way?”

  “I'm fine. Thanks. Don't worry about me.” The words were distant as if someone else were speaking. “Have fun and I'll see you Monday.”

  “Thanks. Bye!”

  Cole hung up and sank into a chair, cradling his head in his arms. No sulking! Remember what Mom said. You have to be happy. Now get up. Despite his personal pep talk, he was slow getting to his feet. He dragged himself to his aunt's room and knocked on the door.

  “Come in!” she called.

  Cole opened the door to find Beth sitting at her desk, an array of strange foreign objects spread out in front of her. “What are you doing?” Cole said.

  “Learning an ancient ritual from a tribe in the Congo.” She did not pause in her arranging of the items.

  “Can you teach me?”

  Beth nodded. “I'll probably do it wrong but you're welcome to grab a chair from the kitchen and watch.”

  * * *

  During the whole ride to school the next day, Cole's heart pounded in anticipation of his conversation with Amy. It would all come to a head in homeroom, just a few minutes away. All night he had planned his responses to every possible thing Amy could say. He would never give up on her. He would not take no for an answer. No matter what she said, he would convince her to be with him.

  He could barely keep from running to homeroom. Amy was already there and he flopped into the chair next to her. “Hey, Amy,” he said breathless.

  “Hey.”

  “Um, so how was your day?”

  “Not bad.”

  Nonchalance was the last thing he expected and the worst possible scenario. Rejection would have been something he could fight against, but what was he supposed to do about this? “All right. Do you wanna hang out later?”

  “Maybe. Shh, the teacher's talking.”

  Cole drifted lost throughout the day, unsure how to interpret Amy's behavior. Lunch did not help matters. He sat next to Amy and they conversed with Martin and his group of friends, but without a moment alone there was nothing to be gained. She went off to class with Martin as usual, leaving him no choice but to go his own way. She was then a minute late to Biology, and with the teacher's lecture, there wasn't a chance for a word edgewise. By the end of the period he had had enough. One way or another, he needed an answer.

  Amy bolted out of her seat at the bell, but Cole put an a hand on her arm. “Can we please talk?”

  “Not right now. I'm gonna be late for class.”

  “Amy, please.”

  “After school. I promise.”

  “Okay.” He released her arm and proceeded to pack his books, fighting back the sickness that threatened to bubble over.

  “Hey, Cole!”

  Cole glanced up to see Michelle waving cheerily to him as she passed. He waved back halfheartedly and trudged off to his next class. The remainder of the day was the worst imaginable torture with nothing to concentrate on but his loneliness and longing for his mother. It was all still too unbelievable to really accept. As he stepped out of the school, for a second he expected to see his mother there, ready to pick him up, and his heart sank when his brain reminded him of reality. He did, however, find Amy who approached him slowly.

  “All right,” she said. “Come, we'll talk over there.” She led him around the building to a spot out of earshot of the student body. She stared at the ground, kicking the dirt while Cole sweated impatiently.

  At last, she opened her mouth, but Cole cut her off. “Before, you start, there's something I want to say.” Now that the spotlight was on him, he closed his eyes to build his courage. “I've been thinking a lot about it, and I've realized something. I...” He took a deep breath. “I love you.”

  He opened his eyes to find Amy wide-eyed, her face covered in tears.

  “Why did you have to say that?” She suppressed a sob, her head dropping to her chest. “Why now?”

  “Do you not feel that way?” Cole found his voice small and insignificant.

  “I care about you deeply. More than you can imagine. But it can't work. I'm sorry. It just can't.”

  “Why not? Whatever problem we have, we can work it out.” He was growing desperate, and his cracking voice betrayed him.

  “We can't. I could never love the person who may have killed my mother. Not to mention what you almost... did to me.” She paused, but when Cole gave no response she pressed on. “I know you didn't mean it and I believe you. But that doesn't take it back. I'm sorry, but every time I look at you, that's all I'll be able to think about. And I know that with a rift like that, it won't ever work.”

  The world went black. He was dimly aware of himself sinking to the ground. He heard Amy's voice above him, but did not care to distinguish the words. The one thing he had left was gone. There was no more reason to try.

  No! I won't let you do this to me!

  He glared up at Amy, a strange disconnected fury contorting his features. “If you do this, I'll let them take over me again. I swear I will.”

  Amy took a seat next to him and embraced him in a tight hug. “No you won't. I know you and you're better than that. You'll be all right. We can still be friends.”

  Cole felt his resolve weakening, melting into the apathetic abyss of his hardening emotional shell. “Don't do this to me. Please. You're all I have left. I'll have nothing.”

  “We're young,” Amy said. “You'll find someone else and I promise I'll always be there for you.”

  Cole pulled back. “I can't be friends with you. It's all or nothing. Friends will just be torture.”

  Amy's eyes watered up again. “I'll give you some space. I hope you change your mind.” She pushed herself to her feet and ran off, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

  27

  Cole sat there, a blank slate, for a long time, until well after the student body had dispersed. He might have sat there forever had not a little voice popped into his head.

  Hey, Cole. It's Travis.

  Cole blinked once.

  Are you there? Cole?

  Yeah.

  I can't seem to communicate with anyone else in here. They're shutting me out.

  Great.

  I'll keep trying. Sorry I didn't find anything useful.

  That's okay.

  I think you're going to have to develop your connection like I was doing. I got pretty far before...

  I'm really sorry about that.

  It wasn't your fault. So, yeah, I got really close to figuring out how to control the instructions. I would only get them when I wanted to.

  Really? You think it's possible for me to control it?

  I do.

  Cole shot to his feet as hope coursed through his body. Where do I begin?

  Listen to the voices, but keep careful control. And listen to more than just the voices. There's more out there. Energy, kinda. That's how I found you. I felt you.

  Cole almost shouted the next thought out loud as the revelation took hold. Wait, if that's true, do you think there's more like us?

  Who knows? I wouldn't be surprised. Why would we be the only two lucky ones?

  Cole chuckled. Yeah, right? Hey so, do you really not hate me?

  Why should I?

  Well, I did try to kill you once and then was kind o
f responsible for your actual death.

  Sounds like you want me to hate you. Look, I'm not going to hold a misunderstanding against you. I would've done the same thing if I were you.

  Damn, it's too bad you're not alive. We could've been great friends.

  Yeah... But hey, isn't this even better. Now, I'm with you ALWAYS.

  Cole laughed loudly. That's creepy. I have to say, I feel a lot better with you there, wherever you are.

  Can I ask you a favor?

  Shoot.

  Can you go see my mom?

  What? You want me to talk to her? She hates me more than anything. She probably still wants me dead.

  I know, but I want to see her. Please.

  Yeah, all right.

  “Cole?”

  The sound of an actual voice made him jump a foot in the air. He looked to the sidewalk to see Beth standing there, arms folded.

  “I've been looking everywhere for you,” she said. “What the hell are you doing here? Why weren't you looking for me?”

  “I'm really sorry,” Cole said, the gears in his head turning. “I had a fight and was sulking.”

  “What kind of fight? With who?” Her annoyance was still apparent through her concern.

  “It's nothing. Hey, um, I have a bit of an unusual request. Is there any chance we could accept the invitation to see Travis' mother?”

  Beth's eyes narrowed, confusion the only remaining emotion. “Why would you want to see her?”

  Cole hesitated as he searched for a reason, but his mind was drawing blanks.

  Tell her you have questions about the instructions, Travis intoned.

  “I have an important question to ask her. I've been thinking about it and she's the only one who can give me any answers. Do you still have that visitor form?”

  “Yes, I kept it, but we never mailed it in. They need that before you're allowed to visit.”

  “Can we go pick it up and bring it to the prison? Maybe if we hand it in in person they'll still let us in.”

  “This can't wait?”

  Is it an emergency? Cole thought.

  Would you mind trying? It's building inside me and I just need to see her.

  “Let's give it a shot,” Cole said to Beth. “Please.”

  “I'm not going to argue. Get in the car. We'll call the prison from the house when we pick up the form before we drive all the way out there. I'm already getting hungry so I want to be home for dinner.”

  True to her word, Beth looked up the prison's phone number when they arrived at the house, and after brief conversation she hung up. “You're lucky. Doesn't sound like they usually have short-notice visitors, but they will allow a visit today. Must have been my charm.” She smirked at herself. “I'll get the form and then let's get on the road.”

  They arrived at the prison near the end of visiting hours. After informing the front desk whom they were there to visit, they handed in the visitor form and waited while the clerk approved it before they were ushered into the visiting room, a line of telephones on both sides of a pane of glass with seats on either side. Cole sat on the stool by a telephone, tapping his foot as he waited. From a back door emerged a guard who was escorting Travis' mother. At the sight of her, Cole's breath caught in his throat, while inside his mind he felt a strangely detached elation that he attributed to Travis.

  She took a seat across from him, staring though the glass with a blank expression. It was the first time he had seen her since the trial and he barely recognized her now. Her disheveled hair was longer, her face was worn, and her eyes were dead as opposed to the evil glare he last witnessed. He picked up the phone and she mechanically followed suit.

  They sat there, neither one speaking. What do you want me to say?

  I didn't think about anything to say, Travis said inside. I just wanted to see her. And she looks terrible...

  “Well?” Travis' mother said in a gravelly voice. “Did you want to say anything or just stare at me?”

  “You sent me the visitor form. I assumed there was something you wanted to say to me.”

  She exhaled sharply. “I'm not sure I made the right decision to do that. I wanted to know more about...” Her eyes welled up with tears and her voice choked up. “No, never mind. I can't talk about him right now. Maybe come back next year.” She moved to hang up.

  “Wait,” Cole said instinctively. Should I say something?

  Ask her how she is. Even with no sound, there was distinctive sadness in the thought.

  “How have you been?” Cole said slowly.

  “Really? You came here because of my well-being? I doubt that.” She rolled her eyes in frustration. “If there's nothing else, I'm going to go.”

  “My mom wanted me to tell you she's really sorry about your husband's death.”

  Travis' mother's eyes immediately teared up, and her hardened expression collapsed into vulnerability. “Why would she say that? Why bring that up now? What does she know?”

  Cole was taken aback by her reaction. “I don't know. That's all she said.”

  Her face hardened back to stone. “Well, tell her she can go fuck herself.”

  Travis, do you know what she did? He took the pause for a yes. Show me.

  No, trust me. It's better you don't know.

  I don't care. Show me.

  Another pause. Don't say I didn't warn you.

  Flash.

  * * *

  He was Travis, sitting in his crib, Peter sitting on the couch in front of him reading a newspaper. The front door was visible in the background past Peter. Without warning, the door was flung open and Meredith was standing there, her wide eyes bloodshot, her hair a frazzled mess. Peter jumped at the sudden intrusion, but when he saw who it was he settled back into his seat.

  “Jeez, don't scare me like that,” Peter said. “What happened to knocking? And what are you doing here? Now is not a good. Sue will be back any minute. You have to go.”

  Meredith's lip trembled and she took a step into the house.

  “Are you all right?” Peter said, rising from his seat. “You look like hell.”

  Meredith took another step forward. “I'm sorry,” she whispered. Her eyes were glassy as if she was somewhere far away and her body was functioning on automatic.

  “Mere, what are you doing? What happened?” Peter took a step towards her, but something in her eye made him stop.

  “I tried to ignore these voices but they've only gotten worse. Do you think maybe you're the cause? They seem to think so.”

  “The cause of what? We're a team. I know you're upset because Frank left and then your mother passed away so why don't we take a breather and you can explain everything?” He sat back down and patted the seat next to himself.

  Meredith's eyes focused for the first time and found Peter with a chilling glare. “I had an instruction to kill someone or Julie would die. I couldn't kill him and... she's dead.” She choked back a sob, her hands balling into fists.

  “Oh my God... Julie... No... That can't be true. You got an instruction to murder? How can that be? There must be another explanation. The instructions would never make you do something like that. You know this.”

  “No. My instructions have been getting more and more messed up lately. And now this. After I didn't complete the first instruction, I got the same one but this time it threatened Beth. I will not fail twice.”

  “Who did they say to kill?” Peter's voice was beginning to tremble.

  “You.”

  Peter was on his feet in an instant. “Hold on. This is not the time to do anything drastic. I know you're not a killer. You just need to calm down. Think about it. Our instructions are never violent. They never have consequences for failure. They’re only there to help people.”

  “Not anymore.” She blinked back tears, but her lip began to tremble violently. “She was my best friend. Since I was five. And now she's gone because of this godforsaken little game we play. I have to end it.”

  “What does that mean?
How can you end the instructions?”

  “By removing you. That’s what they said. You’re the bad apple who makes these voices tick. Guess they're fighting back.” She advanced another step.

  “I am sorry for your loss. I really am. But you know this won't help anything. You're only going to make it worse. Please. Let's talk.”

  “Noooo!!” she screeched, now full of wild fury. “No more talking!”

  All of a sudden, Peter was clutching his head in agony. “Aaahh, what’s happening?” he moaned.

  “Letting those voices in was the best thing I ever did. They not only stifle my pathetic emotions, they also taught me some new tricks. You know that connection we have? Well, it doesn’t just work for hide and seek. I’m in your brain, triggering your pain receptors. How does that feel?”

  Travis was screaming his little head off as Peter let out a piercing wail. “Get out!” he yelled, lunging at Meredith and shoving her with all of his might, flinging her a few feet backwards to land hard on the floor, momentarily stunned, her concentration broken. In the lapse, Peter scooped Travis in his arms and bolted out of the room, running as fast as he could without harming his baby. The view became blurred and dark as Travis bounced along in his father's arms, his face pressed to Peter's shirt. Peter ran away from Meredith towards the rear of the house. Behind him could be heard the sounds of Meredith climbing to her feet and giving chase.

  “You wanna play a game?” Meredith shouted in a hysterical voice. “You can't hide from me. I'll always find you. But you can try.”

  Peter ignored her, whispering calming words into Travis' ear as he fumbled with the back door. He swung it open and fled into the backyard. Meredith burst through the door right behind him. Peter ran around the side of the house, faster than Meredith even with a baby in his arms. He reached the street and sprinted down the block, around the corner, and as far as his lungs would allow.

  At last, unable to breathe, he collapsed to the ground, and then crawled one-armed behind a hedge that blocked his view of the street. He sat there for a minute, gasping air into his lungs as quietly as possible. As he was clambering back to his feet, a noise through the hedges made him freeze.