Ghost Detectors Volume 1

by Dotti Enderle

  “What about a snack?”

  “Dandy, honestly, why would we need a snack?”

  “In case we get hungry.”

  Malcolm couldn’t believe it. Dandy was serious. “We’re not going to get hungry. We won’t be there long enough to get hungry! And if you happen to get hungry, maybe the ghost will be polite and offer you something to eat.”

  Dandy shrugged. “Okay.”

  Malcolm opened the skinny basement window, climbed up on a chair and slithered out. He looked back in at Dandy. “You’re not going to chicken out, are you?”

  Dandy hopped up on the chair. “I’m right behind you.”

  And Dandy stayed right behind Malcolm the whole way. About three feet back, dragging the soles of his sneakers and biting his fingernails.

  Malcolm had the jitters, too. Partly from fear, partly from excitement. He had to be brave. This was his one shot at fame. If he could detect a ghost, record it, and capture it on film, he’d be written up in every major newspaper in the country . . . make that in the world! He wished he’d brought the video camera.

  The McBleaky house stood just ahead of them, like a black hole ready to suck them in. Malcolm could hear Dandy’s teeth chattering. Once they were hidden by the towering weeds, Malcolm pulled out the flashlight and clicked it on. A circle of white light hit the porch, and Malcolm saw an army of tiny critters skittering into the shadows.

  Dandy gulped loudly when they reached the door. “Are you sure we should go in there? That’s trespassing.”

  “Who would come and arrest us?” Malcolm asked. “Even the cops are afraid of this place.”

  Dandy grabbed Malcolm’s shoulder. “Shouldn’t that tell you something? If cops are afraid, then what are a couple of dumb kids like us doing here?”

  Malcolm set the backpack down and pulled out his specter detector. “This,” he said with pride. “Now, do as I say, and don’t be a baby.”

  The door opened easily. Eeeeeeeeek.

  Malcolm stepped in, turned on the specter detector, then pointed the flashlight at his watch. “It’s warming up.”

  Dandy still had a death grip on Malcolm’s shoulder. “I have to use the bathroom.”

  “No, you don’t,” Malcolm said, not taking his eyes off his watch. “Two minutes, that’s all it’ll take.”

  The house was still and quiet. The only noises were the ticking of Malcolm’s watch and Dandy’s ragged breathing. They waited. Tick. Tick. Tick.

  Something moved in the corner. Malcolm whipped the flashlight around and stabbed the darkness. A mouse scurried across and disappeared into a crack.

  Only one minute. He counted the seconds silently, one Frankenstein, two Frankenstein, three Frankenstein. Dandy’s grip had become a serious squeeze, but in less than a minute they’d be on the move.

  When the second hand hit the two minute mark, Malcolm reached for the switch. “You ready?” he asked Dandy.

  Dandy stood paralyzed. Malcolm figured he wasn’t going to get an answer, and flipped the specter detector to Detect. The green light flashed off, and the gold light flashed on. But only for a second. The light then blinked off and on with a steady bleep—bleep—bleep.

  “Not much activity right now,” Malcolm said, turning to look back at Dandy. Dandy’s eyes were wide-open. His lips looked blue, even in the brassy hue of the flicking specter detector light.

  “Just stick with me,” Malcolm said, although he figured Dandy wasn’t thinking for a second of venturing off on his own. Malcolm took slow baby steps, tiptoeing across the floor, Dandy’s hand still gripping him. Dandy never lifted his feet. He skated behind Malcolm, without a breath.

  Malcolm kept the flashlight pointed in his left hand, the detector in his right. As they approached the fireplace, two eyes peered down at them.

  “What?” Malcolm sputtered, whipping the light toward the mantle. Just an ugly giant moose head, hung up like a trophy. Malcolm took a moment to breathe and gather everything that was just scared out of him.

  When they reached a spiral staircase, Malcolm whispered to Dandy, “Reach in my backpack and turn on the tape recorder. Then pull out the camera and turn on the flash.”

  Dandy never said a word. He obeyed Malcolm, but took forever doing it because of his nervous fumbling. And even though Malcolm tried to stand still, the light from the flashlight danced all over the foot of the staircase. But Malcolm was patient. He had to be. He hadn’t told Dandy, but he’d stay here all night if he had to.

  As it turned out, he didn’t have to wait long. Like a fisherman hoping for a catch, Malcolm had a bite. The gold light blinked faster.

  Bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep.

  Both boys froze, staring down at the rapid signal. The beam from the flashlight bent and flickered. Then something brushed the hairs on Malcolm’s neck. A voice, as thin as the wind, whispered in Malcolm’s ear.

  “It creeeeeeeeps.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  IT CREEPS!

  Malcolm’s guts turned to jelly. Fear spread through him, tingling from head to toe. The specter detector kept on detecting.

  Bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep.

  Malcolm turned to see Dandy standing like a zombie. His lips were purple and his eyes hollow.

  “Run, Dandy!” Malcolm screamed. He turned and ran for the front door. He tugged and tugged, but the door was bolted shut.

  Malcolm slumped against the door. He had to think . . . he had to plan . . . he had to decide what to do next. He’d been so preoccupied with detecting a ghost, he never stopped to think about what he’d do when he found one.

  The specter detector sped up. Bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep!

  The kitchen door was just across the room. If he could make it there, he could blast through and rush out the back. But as he darted toward it, something caught his hair and jerked him back. He landed splat on his bottom. The flashlight crashed to the floor and everything went black.

  “It creeeeeeeeps. It creeeeeeeeps.”

  “Yeow!” Malcolm came off the floor faster than a cat on hot sand. He sprinted toward the kitchen, bumping into Dandy, who still stood petrified. Just as Malcolm reached the kitchen door, it swung open, but before he entered, it slammed shut again . . . smashing him right in the face.

  He staggered backward, stars falling in front of his face. The dark room went in and out of focus. But Malcolm could still hear the specter detector beeping away, even faster now.

  Bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep! In his daze, he heard that wispy voice. “It creeeeeeeeps. It creeeeeeeeps.”

  He fell into the kitchen and looked around. No back door! Was this a joke? He crawled under a large rusty sink. He had to collect his thoughts, or at least the ones that hadn’t been whacked out of him by the kitchen door.

  He took a deep breath. Think! Think! Now his specter detector bleeped faster than a baseball card on bicycle spokes.

  Bleepbleepbleepbleepbleepbleepbleepbleepbleep! Something grabbed Malcolm’s nose, tweaking it hard. “It creeeeeeeeps. It creeeeeeeeps.”

  “Ouch!” Malcolm shot out from behind the sink and pushed through the kitchen door again. “Dandy!” he screamed. Dandy just stood there, not even blinking.

  Malcolm hid under the stairs. It was just an inky black hole, with the exception of the gold light from the specter detector, now bleeping so fast, it generated one continuous beam. Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Malcolm knew what that meant.

  “It creeeeeeeeps. It creeeeeeeeps.”

  He jumped out from under the stairs and tried to run, but someone or something had knotted his shoelaces. He tripped and fell forward. The specter detector dropped from his hands and skittered across the floor.

  Malcolm crawled on his elbows and belly, slithering like a snake. In a panic, he grabbed the gadget and tried flipping the switch off. It was jammed.

  Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

  He jiggled it and tugged at it.

  Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

  He banged
it on the floor.

  Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

  Then in a moment of desperation, he opened the little door and popped out the batteries.

  Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

  Malcolm stared wildly at the specter detector. Was he losing his mind?

  Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

  “It creeeeeeeeps. It creeeeeeeeps.”

  Malcolm hung his head and whimpered. He didn’t need his specter detector. What he had come to find had found him.

  “It creeeeeeeeps. It creeeeeeeeps.”

  Malcolm couldn’t take it anymore. “What creeps! What creeps!”

  “YOUR UNDERWEAR!”

  Suddenly something lifted Malcolm in the air by the elastic waistband of his drawers. Yanked higher and higher. He thought he’d split in two. Then it hooked him on one pointed antler of the moose head over the fireplace. And there Malcolm hung, like a wet sock.

  The specter detector went silent. The light dimmed and disappeared. And just as Malcolm’s breathing slowed, a brilliant flash filled the room. A giant spot appeared before his eyes.

  “What was that?” he yelled.

  Dandy flipped on the flashlight and aimed it at Malcolm’s face. “Didn’t you want me to take a picture?”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  WINDING DOWN

  “How’d you get up there?” Dandy asked.

  Malcolm shook his head. “You didn’t see? You didn’t hear?”

  Dandy shrugged, then he looked around until he found an old broom to help get Malcolm loose from the moose.

  Malcolm couldn’t believe his underwear could stretch that far! He wondered if any was left covering his behind. With the help of the broom handle, he managed to pluck the elastic free and fall to the ground.

  “Let’s go!” he yelled.

  After the boys snatched up their things, including the specter detector, Dandy ran for the front door.

  “It’s locked,” Malcolm said. “We’ll have to find another exit.” But Dandy turned the handle and the door opened with a gentle squeak.

  Wasting no time, they raced out the door, scampered over the rickety porch, trudged through the weedy walkway, and jumped the wobbly picket fence. They didn’t stop until they reached Malcolm’s front yard, where they collapsed on the lawn, gasping and groaning.

  “What were we running away from?” Dandy asked.

  Malcolm buried his face in this hands. “I can’t believe you didn’t see it or hear it.”

  “I saw the light on the ghost detector blinking,” Dandy said. “It blinked and blinked and blinked . . .” Dandy’s eyelids relaxed and he stared off in a trance.

  “It must have hypnotized you!” Malcolm said. He snapped his fingers in front of Dandy’s eyes to wake him up.

  “Anyway,” Dandy continued, “the next thing I knew, you were hanging from that moose.”

  Malcolm stood up and looked at his bottom. The elastic of his underwear was drooping over his pants. “Let’s go in,” he said.

  Dandy stared off down the street. “All this ghost hunting has made me tired. I think I’ll go home.”

  Malcolm watched as Dandy drifted down the sidewalk like someone sleepwalking. He disappeared around the corner.

  Malcolm still had the jitters when he slipped into his house. Even though Dandy had gone, he still had the feeling he wasn’t alone. He was being watched. Had someone or something followed him home?

  He moved quietly to his lab to put away his equipment. As he reached the basement door, he met with another shock. Cocoa was blocking the way, hands on her hips, and her mouth tight as a wire.

  “Where is it?” she growled.

  “What?”

  “Where is my blow-dryer?”

  Malcolm’s shoulders sank. He was in no mood to deal with her tonight. “I’ll get it in the morning,” he said.

  “Look at my hair! It looks like a heap of spaghetti. I need my blow-dryer! Get it tonight!”

  She screamed so hard that Malcolm could see clear down her throat. “Okay, okay,” he said. “I’ll put it in your bathroom.”

  Cocoa stormed away, slamming her bedroom door.

  The excitement of the evening wore off, and Malcolm’s feet suddenly felt like bricks. He trudged down the stairs and put his equipment away. He found Cocoa’s blow-dryer where Dandy had hidden it. He looked at it for a moment, then pulled out his specter detector.

  Hmmmmm . . . An evil thought crossed his mind. Herbert McBleaky wasn’t the only practical joker in town. He slipped in and out of Cocoa’s bathroom with a devilish grin.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  PAYBACK

  Malcolm had a night full of weird dreams where he was chased by ghosts, his sister, and a large moose. He could barely tell one from the other. But the sun, shining on his face, told him it was time to get up and start the day.

  He sat down to his usual bowl of cereal. Everything seemed unusually white and transparent this morning. Malcolm figured it was just a trick of the light.

  Mom stood at the stove, making eggs for Dad. Dad sat at the end of the table, reading the newspaper. And Grandma Eunice sat eating her prunes. It appeared to be a normal summer morning.

  Grandma looked shriveled and small staring at the back of the newspaper. Then Malcolm noticed the light in her eyes. She wasn’t staring off . . . she was reading the article! She turned to Malcolm and winked, then went back to her reading. Malcolm couldn’t help but smile.

  Malcolm poured his milk and dug into his breakfast. Before he got the spoon to his mouth, a bloodcurdling scream echoed down the hall from the bathroom.

  Dad spilled his coffee. Mom dropped a plate. Grandma Eunice dribbled prune juice down her chin. And a moment later, Cocoa came rushing through the kitchen holding the specter detector, her wet hair slapping against her face as she ran past the table.

  Malcolm couldn’t see what was chasing her, but he was pretty sure it was the ghost that had followed him home last night.

  Cocoa raced about, jumping and grabbing her bottom like someone was popping her with a towel.

  Mom and Dad ran after her. Malcolm just sat and ate his cereal. He guessed that the specter detector would fix Cocoa’s spaghetti hair problem. After this, it should be standing straight up!

  Payback was fun, but there was more work to do.

  Malcolm got dressed, then hurried down the street to the nearest mailbox. It was time to send off for another weird gadget. The Ecto-Handheld-Automatic-Heat-Sensitive-Laser-Enhanced Ghost Zapper. Guaranteed to zap the peskiest of ghosts. *Batteries not included.

  BOOK 2

  I’M GONNA GET YOU!

  CHAPTER ONE

  WAIT . . . WAIT . . . WAIT

  Malcolm waited on his front porch steps. He craned his neck to the right, looking as far down the street as possible.

  His best friend, Dandy, sat next to him. Dandy wiggled his finger in his ear like he was trying to loosen something.

  “Where is she?” Malcolm said.

  “What?” Dandy asked.

  “I’ve been waiting for weeks, and today is finally the day. I can’t believe she’s late.” Malcolm got up and started to pace in front of the porch.

  “What?” Dandy repeated.

  Malcolm sighed and then removed Dandy’s finger from his ear. “She’s never this late.”

  Dandy shrugged. “Oh. Well, maybe she had an emergency.”

  Malcolm thought about that. “What kind of emergency would a mail carrier have?”

  “Maybe she had to deliver a baby.” Dandy put his finger back into his ear and jiggled it some more.

  “She’s a mail carrier, Dandy, not a stork!”

  Malcolm sat back down and tapped his foot impatiently. He had already used his Ecto-Handheld-Automatic-Heat-Sensitive-Laser-Enhanced Specter Detector. It worked well. Too well!

  Malcolm cringed. He still had nightmares about the major wedgie that prankster ghost, Herbert McBleaky, had given him.

  After that experience, Malcolm had decided th
at it was no use detecting a ghost if you couldn’t get rid of it. So Malcolm had ordered an Ecto-Handheld-Automatic-Heat-Sensitive-Laser-Enhanced Ghost Zapper. And he intended to use it!

  Dandy looked at his fingers, then burrowed into his other ear. “You never told me the plan. Are we going after Herbert McBleaky?”

  “Naw. I think we should detect a tamer ghost first and use the zapper on him.”

  “But where are we going to find a tamer ghost?”

  “There are ghosts everywhere,” Malcolm told him. “We’ll just go on a ghost hunt.”

  Dandy’s face brightened. “Yeah! Like a treasure hunt!” Then he paused. “Except we’d find something scary instead of something fun.”

  “No one said ghost detecting would be fun,” Malcolm said. “It’s certainly not for the weak of heart.” Although as Malcolm said it, he wasn’t so sure he was really all that brave.

  Dandy gave him a blank stare. It was the same look he gave his mom when she’d ask if he’d cleaned his room. “If it isn’t fun, then why are we even doing it?”

  Didn’t Dandy understand anything? “For the greater good,” Malcolm replied. “We’ll rid the world of all the stray ghosts. I mean, think about it. They’re just hanging out, making houses uninhabitable.”

  Dandy gave him that blank look again.

  “Uninhabitable means no one can live there,” Malcolm informed him.

  “Oh,” Dandy said, still drilling into his ear.

  Malcolm squinted his eyes, looking down the street for Mail Carrier Nancy. He began to wonder if she really did have an emergency.

  Or maybe she called in sick, and her replacement used a different route. He tapped his foot some more. He was close to jumping up and running down the street to look for her.

  Just when he thought he might actually fly out of his own skin, he saw her turn the corner. She was pulling her mail cart and zigzagging from house to house.

  Dandy took his finger out of his ear, smelled it, then wiped it on his Iron Man T-shirt. Malcolm and Dandy both stood as Mail Carrier Nancy approached, a smile beaming from her face.