by Jillian Dodd
Yes, my parents are letting me spend the night with a boy. Okay, it's a boy that they trust, sorta, but I just find this all so hard to believe.
Our goal is to get to Lincoln in time to see part of Danny's football practice. We lied and told him that we would be there later because we want to surprise him.
Danny told me we're going to sit on the roof of his dorm after practice to get some sun. "So wear or bring a swimsuit," he had said.
When I questioned him further on what college girls wear, I got no answers, other than, Uh, shorts, jeans, you know.
NO....I DON'T. That's why I'm asking!
But I gave up and, in the end, let Lisa pack for me. Which is a really scary thought in and of itself.
Once on campus, Phillip makes me drive around forever trying to find a suitable place to park. I'm sure if we would have planned this better, we could have gotten a visitor parking pass, like it talks about online. But well, we didn't.
"Phillip, they don't know who we are. I'm parking up close. I mean, I'm going to get a ticket regardless of where I park." I'm completely confused by the array of threatening parking signs with cryptic letters on them. "So why not park close?"
As usual, I frustrate that boy. Regardless of his new found partying skills, Phillip is still a follow the rules and go by the book kind of guy.
Dad's probably right. I'll be perfectly safe with him and won't get into any trouble.
Darn it!
"Look!" Phillip cries out.
What? Really cute boy?
"There. Over there. A visitor parking lot and it's fairly close. Go park there."
I'm tempted to argue cuz it's not that close, but I don't need him mad at me already.
So I say, "Great job, Phillip!" and park.
We get out of the car and walk down the wide, main pathway that leads through the campus and ends at Memorial Stadium. The campus is really beautiful. I've been here for lots of football games, but never really paid attention. There are huge trees, whose leaves are just starting to change colors and wide stretches of green grass. I love the cool old buildings with their neat architectural features. I wonder how they keep such old places looking so clean and shiny. There are all sorts of students, some appear to be rushing to class, others are just mulling about. We see a group of girls pretending to study in their bikini tops. Phillip is looking at them and not where he is going and about trips over the curb.
"Real smooth," I tease. I also notice a group of cute boys kicking around a soccer ball.
I have tried to dress appropriately for all possible collegiate activities. I'm wearing jean shorts and a very fitted vintage T-shirt. I hoped this outfit would blend in. I mean I don't want to be walking around here looking like a dumb high school girl! I notice that most of the girls are dressed similarly.
Oh and look! There is an adorable couple walking toward us. They are holding hands, and they stop to kiss, and they are looking at each other like they are in LOVE!
Oh, I so want that to be me.
I am so going here.
Where's the sign up sheet? I'm in!
We work our way down to the stadium and the practice fields. I've never seen a college practice before, so I'm really excited.
Well.
Now I have to tell you that if you ever plan on stopping by the University to see the Huskers' practice.....
Don't bother!
The place is like FORT KNOX!
I'm serious. There is so much security, I don't think even the President of the United States, himself, could get in without a pass.
Actually, I know he couldn't. He's from a rival state!
The Bureau of Homeland Security ought to come here and take some lessons because I'm telling you, if our country's borders were guarded like this, we'd never have to worry about anything.
The security guys have walky-talkies and earpieces and everything. I tried to explain to one of the big men that I'm a friend of one of the players, but that didn't seem to matter. He just looked at me with a face that said, Sure you are and Like I've never heard that one before. When that didn't work, I asked him what was such a big secret. I mean a football play is pretty much a football play, isn't it? And please. I know that Nebraska has always been a powerhouse in collegiate football, but are there really that many people trying to spy on them? Is it really an issue?
Evidently.
So Phillip and I sat around and waited between some cool old columns, with our backs facing the practice field, until the guy told us it was officially over.
Danny is red shirting this year, so he plays quarterback for the Scout team. Besides leading the Scout team, his job this year is to practice, eat well, bulk up, get stronger, faster, and memorize the playbook upside down.
We find Danny walking up to the stadium from the practice field. He is pleasantly surprised to see us early.
"Well, we tried to watch practice," I tell him.
"You shoulda told me you were coming early, I could've gotten you a pass," Danny says, like we should have known this.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
"See, JJ," Phillip smarts, "sometimes it pays to plan ahead."
"Shut up, Phillip. I didn't see you doing any planning. You could have taken care of it," I tell that bratty boy.
"Hey," Danny says, grinning, "want to play catch in the stadium?"
Now that gets my attention.
"Memorial Stadium?" I ask Danny. "Can we do that?"
"Yeah," he shrugs, like it's no big deal.
"UH, YEAH!" I scream.
So we walk over there.
Well, I kinda run.
This is soooo exciting. I mean I have been watching this field on TV since I was old enough to remember. And I've been to lots of games, but nobody told me you could walk on the field!
I stand in the middle of the field and spin in a circle.
This is awesome!
I grab Phillip and say, "Come on," and drag him into the middle with me. We stand on the big red N.
"Look around, Phillip!" I say with excitement. "Did you ever realize just how huge this place is?"
I am overwhelmed.
"Ye-ah," Phillip says, "I've been to football camp here, remember?"
Fine. Mr. Know It All.
Mr. Been There, Done That.
But I don't care. I don't let his lack of enthusiasm bother me. I just can't believe how huge it is! I mean the perspective is totally different from here than it is in the stands. What a rush it must be for the football players to hit the horseshoe in the tunnel, run out to the roar of the crowd, and look up to see all those zillions of people dressed in red.
Okay, so maybe not zillions, something like 80,000.
Whatever.
Don't rain on my parade because this is truly thrilling for me.
"Hey, Jay," Danny says, walking towards me with a football in hand, "Go out for a pass."
So I do, with Phillip guarding me. I run as fast as I can down the field of MEMORIAL STADIUM!
Sorry!
And look for the throw. I'm thinking this is not the best pass that Danny has ever thrown. And well, it is a bit long, but I'm getting way into the moment and do not worry about the turf stains I may get on my T-shirt. So I dive for the pass and just miss it. At first it makes me mad because I don't like to miss, but then I think, I just slid across the turf at Memorial Stadium!
WOW!
Brushing myself off, I walk back to Danny, who seems to think something is funny.
As I hand him the football, he says very seriously, "You missed, Jay. You owe me your shirt."
What?
"No way, Danny! You never called SF (strip football) before the play," I tell him.
"Yeah I did," Danny says. Then he turns to Phillip and says, "You heard me, didn't ya, Mac?"
Phillip grins and shakes his head, "Yeah, I think I did."
Ugh. He is such a liar!
"Well, even if you did, that was a shitty pass, and I shouldn't have even tried to catch
it."
"Yeah, but you did," Danny smirks.
I look around the field again. There are a bunch of players still mulling about, but no one is paying any attention to us. The only person even watching is some equipment dude, who has a bag of footballs for Danny to throw.
"You just want to see my bikini top, don't you, Danny?"
"No, not really. I mean I'll see it later anyway," he says, very convincingly. He raises his eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders. "Just trying to play fair."
I look to Phillip, but can see he is going to be of no help in the matter.
Whatever.
"Fine," I say.
I'll show him.
I throw my shoulders back, hold my head up high, pull the elastic from my hair, and shake out my ponytail. I saunter towards Danny with what I hope is a sexy smile. Crossing my arms in front of me, I grab the bottom edge of my T-shirt and very slowly pull it up, revealing the skimpy, stringy American Flag bikini top underneath.
Practically like a stripper.
God, if Dad saw me now, you could forget grounding. He'd have me chained to my bed for the rest of high school.
Danny grins at me in amusement. He loves that he won this round.
I pull the shirt over my head and punch it into Danny's stomach. "Here. But if you throw another one like that," I give him a pointed look. "I'm coming back for your pants."
I hear equipment dude mutter something that sounded strangely like, God Bless America, and I can tell the mulling about has stopped and people are watching.
But I don't really care about that. I just need to win.
I line up opposite Phillip and just a second before Danny is ready to call the snap, I whisper sneakily across to Phillip, while touching my chest, "Hey Phillip, my boobs aren't hanging out of this or anything are they?"
As I anticipated, Phillip looks straight at them. I mean he's a guy, he can't help himself. So he is caught a bit off guard when I tear past him. I run full bore down the field, but feel him gaining on me. I turn, jump up, and catch a perfectly thrown pass from Danny.
Shoot.
I really wanted that bossy boy's pants.
Big parties in Westown are usually held in a cornfield somewhere out in the boonies. This party is kind of hard to find, but I can see there are already a ton of cars here. As Lisa parks, my mind is on Jake. Jake and I have been dating, off and on, for over a year. I really like Jake, but love him?
That's the big question.
I tell him that I love him, but I'm not sure that he's like the REAL love of my life. I just can't really picture myself married to him. I mean, he's no prince. But he's a decent high school boyfriend, and we usually have fun.
Well, we have fun when he's not being a jerk.
Which is why our relationship has been as much off, as it's been on.
Jake was quarterback of this year's football team. Granted they sucked, but can you imagine how hard it would be to follow in Danny's shoes? To follow a record setter and state champion winner? Danny was a great high school quarterback, he'll be a great college quarterback, and it wouldn't surprise anyone if he went on to be a great pro quarterback.
Jake probably won't even go to college. It's not that Jake's not a smart and athletic guy. It's just like he's missing something, like the drive to succeed. His bangs are always falling onto his face, and you never know for sure what's going on behind those dark, smoldering eyes. He's a sexy combination of athlete and bad boy. He has a hot, casual look about him.
Like he'd skip school and say who cares, lets go on a picnic.
Not that he's ever done that.
Or hop on my motorcycle and we'll just ride, with nowhere in mind to go.
Okay, never done that either.
I think that's the big difference between Jake, Phillip, and Danny. Jake has nowhere in mind to go. Phillip and Danny both seem to know exactly where they are going.
When I think about the kind of guy I want to marry, I think I might prefer someone who knows where they are going. I mean a prince pretty much has his whole life planned out already, doesn't he? And this is important because I have no idea where I'm going or what I want to do with my life.
I do know some things. I know I want to go to college, but I'm not sure where. (I'm not that bad though, I do have it narrowed down to two.) I want to have a successful career, but doing what? (Maybe an architect, but how do I know if it's right?) I want to marry a great guy, but don't know who. I want to have kids someday and be a great mom, but not sure I'll know how.
You know life is weird. There are times I feel so grown up and like I know everything I need to know, but then I think about the future and realize how little I do.
Sometimes being a teenager sucks.
But back to Jake.
It took me forever to figure out what to wear tonight. Normally, I would just be in jeans, a cute fitted T-shirt and tennies.
But not tonight.
Tonight, I want to make an impression. Tonight, I am finally going to do it with Jake.
Why am I finally going to do it with Jake?
Well, I'm still not 100% sure on that. I mean Jake definitely wants to, and I have made him wait for over a year. Well, sort of, I mean every time I start to think I am ready, we usually get in a fight about it and break up, but this time we have gone a whole month without a break up, and he is really wanting to. It's pretty much all he talks about. And I don't know why I have waited so long anyway. Lisa has been doing it for a long time now, and Katie's doing it with Billy Prescott, and they've only been dating for like two months, but she is very certain he's the love of her life. I turned eighteen a few weeks ago, so I mean I'm officially an adult and all. I just don't really feel like one yet. And then there's the whole am I really that in love with him, and is he really the one thing. So even though I'm not sure about every detail, I do feel like it's time. I mean part of me just wants to get it over with!
Months ago, I told Katie and Lisa that Jake wanted to take our relationship to the next level, so they drug me to Victoria's Secret. With their urging, I bought a fuchsia and black stretch lace bra and matching low-rise, thong panties. Lisa says wearing the high ones and showing them is soooo tacky.
I've had the bra and panties for months now. They've just been sitting there in my drawer, waiting patiently. They've been there so long that every time I open the drawer, even they ask me when I'm finally going to do it. So after much deliberation, I have decided tonight is the night.
After many clothing changes and panicked calls to Lisa, she took pity on me and came over early. She did my makeup and I tried on more clothes, finally settling on a pair of low fitting, dark denim jeans, some obnoxiously high heeled black sandals that she scrounged around and found in Mom's closet and a shrunken raspberry cashmere sweater. I love the sweater. It feels so soft on my skin that I keep wanting to hug myself, but I suppose me feeling myself up would look a little weird, so I just keep petting the sleeve a little.
Lisa and I re-gloss our lips, make sure nothing unfortunate is hanging out of each other's noses, get out of the car, and head toward the party.
As usual, the Warner twins are in charge of the door.
The Warner twins, Gary and Larry, are seniors too. They come from a big farm family and, believe it or not, have siblings named, Cary, Barry, Harry, Mary, and Jerry.
Kinda SCARY...get it?
Scary rhymes too.
Oh, never mind.
They are both huge farm boys, about 300 pounds a piece, and the pipeline for our football team's offense. Basically they are so big that they'll either knock you down, or run you over like a pair of freight trains. To look at them you'd think big, tough, dumb as doorknobs, yet they are both at the top of our class academically, crazy practical jokers, and really just great big teddy bears. I love those guys.
Lisa and I say hi to the boys, hand them our money, and I ask, "Is Jake here yet? I didn't see his truck."
Gary looks confused. "You're supposed to meet Jake here?
"
The boys exchange pointed looks.
Larry looks me up and down and changes the subject, "Hey, you look hot tonight." Then he gives his brother another weird glance.
"Thanks. What's going on? Come on boys, spill the beans."
"Um, JJ. Gosh, I don't want to tell you this, but Jake is here, and um, well maybe I should start by telling you that I never liked Jake much," Gary stammers.
I give him a frustrated look. "Keep going."
He grimaces. "Alright, well, Jake is here, but he's with another girl."
"Yeah, some slut from Park," Larry pipes in.
Larry adds, with his hands cupped in front of his chest, "And she has got the biggest cans I have ever seen. And you can see the top part of those thong underwear thingys right here," he says, turning and pointing down to his own side, "above her jeans, you know, like..."
"Lar-ry," Gary interrupts, with a don't say stuff like that scorn to his brother.
Okay, my practical jokers. I'm not that gullible.
"Really?" I say, testing them. "So what does she look like?"
Gary and Larry look at me blankly, "We just told you, JJ," Larry says.
"I mean her face, boys."
They look at each other like they don't have a clue what her face looks like. I know it's a joke for sure.
"Look, I know you two, very funny, ha ha. Come on Lisa, let's go get a beer."
We head to the keg and find Phillip there. He hands Lisa a beer.
What a sweetie.
Phillip looks so cute tonight, in a deep purple polo shirt with a pair of those plaid patchwork shorts. Yes, I picked out his outfit. I must say, the dark purple color looks sooooo good on him. Phillip is really quite cute. And I know he wanted to look especially nice for this girl he has been talking to and, well, is hoping to hook up with tonight.
It makes me kinda wish I was wanting to hookup with an adorable boy like Phillip, rather than Jake.
But I'm not backing down, tonight is the night.
For better or worse because I seriously can not go to college a virgin.
I grab a red plastic cup, tilt it under the tap, and let him fill it with beer.
He whispers in my ear, "We need to talk."
"About what?"
"Jake. He's here with another girl, and she's all over him. It's pretty obvious it's a date."
Phillip touches my arm gently and tells me this news in hushed tones, like a doctor who just lost a patient would tell the family.
"Shut up, Phillip. You're just in on the twin's big joke, right?"