by Jillian Dodd
I get the kind of intense look that is usually reserved for a football. "You kiss fine. Better than fine, actually. Uh, how 'bout we go get a drink?"
Uh, no. How about we just stay here and drown my sorrows in your kisses?
"Um, yeah. I need to get back in there anyway, before Phillip sends out the Calvary."
"You know, Phillip and I really care about you. We hated you dating a guy like Jake. We've never had any proof, but I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time he's cheated on you."
Figures.
I grab my lip-gloss out of the car, put it in my pocket, and shut the door. I stop, grab the car handle and start to open the door, as I say aloud to myself, "I suppose I better grab my jacket."
"You don't need a jacket, Jay," Danny says, taking my hand. "I'm pretty sure I can keep you warm."
God, am I swooning?
I'm not exactly sure what swooning is, but I may very well be doing it.
He leads me back toward Frick and Frack, who I am sure have been watching everything.
Gary says to Danny, "You know, Big D, the shit's gonna hit the fan if you do that," and they both roll their eyes in the direction of the car, indicating that they, in fact, saw us kissing, "in there." They lean their heads in the direction of the party.
"I'm pretty sure I don't care what Jake thinks," Danny states emphatically.
As we walk by them toward the party, Gary smiles, slaps Danny on the back and says, "Well, Big D, if you need it, the pipeline's got your back. And hey, JJ, did we ever mention that there may have been a few times during the season when we accidentally tripped and Jake got sacked?"
I grin at that thought. Looking back, I give those boys a salute. I always knew I liked them for a reason.
Danny and I laugh and head toward the keg where our friends have gathered. Michael and John are standing around it, chatting with Phillip and seem to have already hit it off with Lisa and Katie. I wonder where Billy, the love of Katie's life, is?
Phillip leans in toward the keg and pumps it again for Lisa, as he eyes me suspiciously.
"I'm okay," I mouth silently to him.
He nods his head toward Danny, whose arms are wrapped around my waist, and mouths back, "I see that." But his eyes are big with question.
Accusing type questions.
I know he's wondering why Danny is holding me, but he probably thinks Danny did the same thing he would have done eventually. And that is to drag me back in here and help me have some fun.
Or not.
Phillip wanted to take me out of here.
I watch as Phillip and Danny do the whole male backslap, Hey Mac, What's up Big D, high five, fist bumping stuff.
Garry and Larry, done with their door duty, come join our little group. Larry holds up a big bottle of Jack Daniels, says, "Lets get down to business," takes a big swig and passes me the booze.
Now I'm not much of a drinker, maybe just a beer or two, but my, this does go down smoothly tonight. I'm standing in front of Danny, who has us both wrapped inside his brown leather jacket.
Did I mention that Danny smells really good? He has an amazingly sexy, crisp, citrusy smell. And I flashback to standing in Hollister with him, helping him pick out a scent girls would die for.
And now I am the girl dying for it.
Fate?
Everyone is having a seemingly great time. The guys are telling old jokes and old stories. But I'm having a hard time listening to them because as they are talking, Danny slides the hair off my neck and is peppering my neck with little ticklish kisses. I think right now they are telling about the time Gary and Larry convinced a carload of city boys that they could drive straight through a huge hay roll, and the hay would fly out all around them, just like on cartoons. P.S. For you city folk, it's a lie. They might as well have run into a tree. Fortunately, no one was severely injured. Everyone laughed and I almost forgot about Jake.
Almost.
The bottle goes around again, and I take a little swig. When Danny kisses me, his mouth feels hot from the whiskey, and the hot feeling of our mouths combined with the cool weather is incredible. I can't help wonder if Jake has seen us, but I'm assuming he is too busy with the sleaze. Phillip, on the other hand, is watching us like a hawk. A hawk with a scowl on his face. Or I guess, technically, it would be a beak.
Oh, whatever.
I'm not sure why he's scowling, and I'm too enthralled with Danny to care. I mean, I know Phillip watches out for me like a big brother, but I really don't think he needs to worry about Danny. He loves the guy.
Lisa announces that she has to pee, grabs my arm, and drags me off to a remote corner of the cornfield.
I'm sure she has to pee, but I also know that she is dying to know how I ended up with Danny.
Sure enough, as soon as we are out of earshot, she screeches, "Ohmigawd! JJ! Danny!!!! How did that happen?"
"I'm not exactly sure." Because I'm not. "But you may be right about the clothes and makeup."
"Told you. So did you just jump him in the parking lot or what? God, I've had a crush on him since, like, eighth grade."
Her and every other girl in school.
"Do you know how lucky you are? I mean Danny is 100% pure unadulterated hotness."
I can't help but laugh and wonder if she even knows what unadulterated means. Probably one of her SAT study words. I'm tempted to ask her, but she's still gushing on.
"I mean I always thought you were lucky just to live by him because you got to see him mow with no shirt on."
"Don't get all revved up about this, Lisa. I practically had a meltdown out there in front of him. He's just trying to make me feel better. Help my ego," I say, trying to convince myself that that's all there is to this. It just doesn't really feel that way.
"Like you've ever had ego problems."
Well, I am usually quite confident. But Lisa doesn't understand how I have perfected the game face from years of playing sports. And trust me, I'm wearing it big time right now. So she can't see the hurt and confusion I'm feeling over the whole Jake dumped me thing.
"I really think he's just being a good friend."
Lisa, not deterred from her fantasy, says, "Yeah, well, you don't usually see good friends kissing like that. And come on, you've been good friends for a long time and had a lot of boy issues, and you've never made out with him before."
"Uh," I kind of squint my eyes and look guilty before I realize it.
"Shut Up!" Lisa's eyes get huge. "You made out with Danny and didn't tell me? When?"
"It's not a big deal. It was a long time ago."
"How long ago?"
"Freshman year, but I begged him to. I needed to know how to French kiss."
"And that worked? I should've tried that one because I know you'd kissed boys before that."
"Not really. I had that date with Ryan Marshall, and I was just a wreck about it,"
"So he told you how, or he taught you how?" She has a goofy grin on her face, and I know she is dying for details.
"Taught me."
Her eyes get big again.
"Okay, I give up." I hold my hands in the air. "Enough questions. We made out for a couple hours, and it worked. When I went on my date, I knew how to make out properly."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was really no big deal, plus he was dating someone at the time."
"Who?" she asks, like this very old news is some juicy piece of gossip.
"I don't remember. Some cheerleader, I think."
"Which one?" She is still enthralled.
"They're all the same one, Lisa." I shake my head because Danny's girls are pretty much all the same. "They just have different names ending with the letter y."
She laughs and nods, knowing exactly what I mean.
"Okay, so Jake? You were all set to, you know, with him. So are ya bummed?"
"No, not really."
"Ohmigawd! I have a brilliant idea. You can do it with Danny!"
"I am not going to be d
oing it with Danny."
I don't think.
But I'll admit this. I feel like I could.
"I probably shouldn't even be kissing him, but I am glad that I didn't do it with Jake. I knew it wasn't right with him. Not enough sparks."
How did I date him for over a year? Well off and on, anyways.
Lisa nudges my elbow and raises her eyebrows, grinning at me like a Cheshire cat, "Any sparks with Danny?"
"Lisa, with Danny, I may very well burst into flames."
"Well, the way he was drooling over you, I'm thinking it's way more than a friend thing. And it's about freaking time!"
"So what's up with you and John? You two are looking friendly." I nudge her back. "He's very cute."
"He is adorable. Did you see the muscles on him? I just want to squeeze them all. And he wants us to come down to Lincoln before school gets out and party with them."
"Just be careful, he is a college boy," I warn. Not that it will make a bit of difference.
"Okay," she wiggles, "now I really do have to pee. See you back there."
I'm walking by myself back toward the party when Phillip steps out of, what I think is, thin air. "JJ," he says.
Ooohh, I'm in trouble when I'm JJ, not Princess.
"How 'bout I take you home? You've had a rough night with Jake and all and, well, you're starting to drink a lot." I start to speak, but he holds his hand up in the halt position and finishes. "And you know Danny is one of my best friends, but I'm not sure I trust you with him tonight."
"What? You think I might damage his reputation? That big stud Danny has to stoop to dating useless virgins?"
"That's not what I meant."
"Phillip," I say exasperated, "can you PLEASE let me scrape a little fun out of what is left of my night? Danny is a good guy and you know it."
"Yeah, well tonight he looks like he could eat you alive. I'm not sure I like it, and I'm REALLY not sure you can handle it."
"Phillip, I'm fine, and I haven't been drinking a lot. I've had two tiny sips of Jack, but I didn't drive, and I'll get drunk if I want to." Of course I don't want to, but he doesn't need to know that. "And anyway, what's so wrong with having someone look at me like that? Maybe I want to be wanted."
Phillip is getting really bossy and I hate that, so I say, just to spite him. "You know how I told you tonight was THE night." Okay, I know what I'm about to say is not even close to being true, but I say it anyway, just to give him something to think about and because honestly, I have been thinking about it too. "Hell, maybe it still is." I shrug my shoulders, like my virginity is something that requires very little thought. "Who knows, Phillip, maybe I'll just switch the guy."
Phillip's eyes get huge at that comment. I know I'm not being very nice to him, but he's pissing me off. I turn on my heels. They've sunken into the dirt and I nearly trip, but I maintain control and start to walk away.
Then I stop, turn around, and continue. "And stop scowling at me every time I take a drink. I'm a big girl, Phillip. I can take care of myself."
I march off in the direction of the keg.
When I get there, Danny runs his hand across the bare skin at my waist, giving me instant goose bumps across my entire body. He hands me the bottle. I take another sip and pass it on to John, as Danny whispers in my ear, "So tell me about this great underwear."
Which gives me goose bumps all over again.
I don't get to respond because our conversation is interrupted by Lisa complaining, "I'm cold. Let's go warm up by the fire."
Danny looks at me seriously, "Jake's over there. Can you deal with that?"
I think.
Uh, no.
Yes.
Maybe.
"Uh yeah," I say, as we walk to the bonfire, "although I'm really not cold."
"Yeah, me neither." He throws his arm around my shoulder, winks at me, and smiles a devious grin.
Uh, oh. He's got a wild idea, I can tell. He's given me the look. The look he's given me on so many other trouble making occasions.
"What?" I say knowingly.
"Ya know, maybe it'd be good for Jake to think there's a reason you never did it with him."
I squint my eyes trying to understand what he's getting at.
"Like maybe you were doing it with, oh say, someone older. Someone you may have gone to visit often at college."
"Someone like you?" I say, getting it.
Danny grins conspiratorially.
Hmm. Nice idea, but I'm not sure Jake will believe it. Well, actually he might believe it, cuz he's jealous as hell of Danny. And I did kinda lie to Jake about my trips to Lincoln all year. In fact, I may have led him to believe I rarely saw Danny - that I spent most of my time partying with Lindsay, a girl from my volleyball team, who honestly, I never saw even once.
Jeez, Jake and my's relationship has obviously been of the Don't ask, don't tell variety.
Nice.
I study Danny carefully. "You know, I'm not so sure we should mess with Jake's temper."
"Don't worry, Jay, I'd love for him to make a move. Most of the guys on the team would've beaten the shit out of him years ago, but Coach would've killed us. But for him to believe it," he stops, pulls me close, kisses me, and then says, "I might have to do a little more than kiss you."
Sorry, I'm a bit foggy. What were you saying before your kisses wiped all rational thoughts from my mind? Oh yeah, doing more.
"Whatever."
"So don't freak out and slug me or anything. Deal?"
"When was the last time I slugged you?"
"Uh, eighth grade. Phillip convinced me I should try to look up your skirt."
"Oh, yeah. Well, you deserved it, and it worked. You haven't done it since."
"Not that you know about anyway," he smirks.
"So what kind of things are we talking about?" I coo.
"You'll see, or maybe I should say feel," he answers cryptically, then slides his warm hands up the back of my sweater.
He grins, which melts my heart and numbs my brain, then drags me over to join everyone by the fire.
I swear, if he keeps kissing me there will be nothing left of me but one big puddle. I'm not exactly sure what we're getting ourselves into, but Danny always has great ideas and, well, I'm having fun.
I once read a quote from Marilyn Monroe. She said, "Ever notice how what the hell is always the right answer?"
I think that should be my theme song for tonight.
I wonder if anyone's ever set it to music?
But hey, as long as I'm warm and Danny keeps kissing me, lets throw caution into the wind.
What the hell.
Right?
And speaking of kissing Danny, did I mention how wonderful it is? About how I can feel it all the way down to my toes?
Oh yeah, I think I did.
Did I mention that I feel a little dizzy?
Maybe that's more the whiskey.
No, it's not. I mean, I've only had a couple little sips.
I think I'm just intoxicated by Danny.
I mean, what girl wouldn't be?
And what exactly did Phillip mean by he looks like he could eat you alive anyway? Does he think Danny might actually WANT ME? Like more than just kissing me and trying to make Jake jealous, so I will feel better?
Me?
I'm not even a cheerleader.
And definitely not a C-cup!
He'd be breaking way out of his comfort zone.
What about the fact that I'm having conflicting thoughts about him? I mean he's a great guy and he is older and has more experience than a high school boy, and if the kissing is any indication, then I think we could have a winner!
Shit.
Unfortunately, he is also my friend.
My Good Friend.
Would I want him to be more than that?
Uh, yeah! Right?
But I don't really have time to contemplate that thought because as Danny and I slide to the front of the group, the bottle of Jack is passed aroun
d again. I put it up to my mouth for another sip, when I notice Phillip out of the corner of my eye. He's giving me the eye, and ever so slightly shaking his head no.
OK. FINE. So I pass it along without a taking a drink.
I thought everyone would give me shit about it, but no one even seems to notice. Evidently, Phillip is the only one concerned about my drinking habits for the evening.
We are now in plain view of Jake and his loser friends. Of course, pre-Boobs, I thought they were my friends too. I find myself staring at Jake through the fire in a daze. I catch him looking back at me, but before I can read his expression, Danny twirls me around to face him.
The boy wastes no time.
I know, he knows that Jake is watching, but I have to wonder.
Is he doing this just to piss off Jake?
Or is it because he's actually enjoying it?
Danny kisses me thoroughly and very much seems to be enjoying it.
I know I am.
In fact, I feel like my knees could give away at any minute. He puts his hand on my back, between where my sweater stops and my jeans end and rubs slowly. Then while still kissing me, he runs that hand up under my sweater. I find myself thinking alternately how wonderful it feels, what Jake must be thinking, and how I really don't care.
I may very well be developing multiple personalities from all this trauma.
My thoughts are interrupted by the feel of Danny's hand sliding down my back, past the waistband of my jeans, and into thong territory. I don't move, but I stop kissing him and suck in a deep breath. Danny quickly moves his hand onto the outside of my pants. But then he chuckles in my ear, glances at Jake, and slides his hand down to the bottom of my butt, where it meets my leg and gives it a little pinch.
I toss my head back and kinda laugh and scream at the same time.
It definitely gets Jake's attention.
The laugh is not for show, though, but because it really tickles.
I know, it's a weird place to be ticklish. It's kind of like when I stand behind Lisa and stick my index fingers into the sides of her waist. That girl can't help but scream out loud. It is also funny because Phillip and Danny are the only friends of mine who know this about me, having been ratted out by my Dad years ago during a particularly competitive Thanksgiving Day game of flag football. Instead of grabbing my flag, Dad pinched me there, which caused me to fumble the football.
Danny and my team lost because of it.
He still gives me crap about that.
Jake does not know this fact about me, and I'm sure what Danny is doing must look bad.