That Boy

by Jillian Dodd

  After lunch, we're both getting pedicures and manicures, and then I'm scheduled for a detoxifying body wrap.

  Now that is something I need.

  Suck all the alcohol out.

  How much do you want to bet the yoga instructor set that one up?

  During our pedicures, Lori finally breeches the subject of Phillip. She doesn't know about the disaster last night, and I have no intention of telling her.

  "I saw you at breakfast the other morning," she says, like she knows some big secret. "When Phillip whispered in your ear, you just melted. Your eyes got all dreamy looking. You know, I have NEVER seen you react to any guy like that." She does an imitation of how my eyes looked. She looks ridiculous, and I'm sure she over exaggerates.

  "You're a smart girl. You always amaze me with your ability to see the world as your great big playground. You can see miles into the future, so why can't you see a good thing when it's right in front of your face?"

  "Phillip." I state, knowing full well what she means.

  "Yeah, Phillip. You know, Danny thinks so too."

  "I know, he told me once after he dumped me."

  "He didn't dump you."

  "Oh, I know," I say with a wave of my hand, "but it bugs him when I say he did. Sorry, it's an old habit."

  "You know, I know all about the flag bikini, Jade. I've even seen that sad, tattered little picture."

  "He still has it?" I'm surprised. "You know, I love it that it doesn't bother you. A lot of girls would have a problem with it."

  "Well, I think Danny has kind of a been there, done that attitude towards you."

  "Been there, maybe," I say, "but never done that." I grin at her and then frown and say, "Unfortunately."

  "No. Fortunately. Because if you had, he's right, you probably wouldn't have stayed such good friends."

  "Why? Is he that bad at it?"

  "Well, I think you could expect that he approaches it, the same way he does everything else in his life," she says cryptically.

  But I understand completely. "100 percent focus and full out energy." I sigh and shake my head.

  Figures.

  "Jadyn, end result is, I'm not jealous. Whatever works. He signed a six year, $48 million dollar contract. I don't care if he visualizes himself playing football with a donkey and a naked clown. Hell, I'd blow the picture up and hang it on the living room wall if I thought it would help his game."

  I squint my eyes at her.

  "Okay, maybe not, but my point is that I understand your friendship with Danny, and we both value it."

  "So brilliant wife-to-be, why do you think I should risk my friendship with Phillip by dating him?"

  "Because you're perfect together." She pauses for effect, "Jade, it's like you were made for each other."

  "That's all great, Lori, but I think it may be too late. But you don't need to hear about my problems, this is your wedding day," I smile. "We're only going to talk about happy things."

  "Did something happen between you two last night?"

  "No."

  "Oh," she says understanding, "is that the problem?"

  "Evidently," I say with a roll of my eyes.

  Lori and Danny's wedding is held on the beach at sundown.

  We stand beneath a beautiful white archway that's laden with tropical flowers and smells heavenly. The hotel's wedding planner must have weddings down to an art, because they say I do and kiss, just as the big orange sun is sneaking below the horizon. It is the most simple, yet most beautiful and romantic wedding I've ever seen.

  It's intimate and personal.

  I think if I ever find a man crazy enough to marry me, it needs to be on a beach just like this.

  I recovered from my massive hangover and because I had been pampered all day, I have to say I looked pretty darn good at the wedding. Unfortunately Phillip, who was looking damn fine himself, didn't seem to even notice. He was cordial and overly polite to me at the reception dinner with everyone.

  And as maid of honor and best man, we did have to dance together and toast the happy couple. But the whole time, he was stiff, and I just wanted to cry and beg him not to be mad at me. I even thought about telling him I was sorry, although I'm still not convinced I did anything wrong. I also thought about telling him that he might be right about me being a little in love with him, but I couldn't. I wasn't sure he'd believe me.

  Before we came here, I had pictured in my mind how much fun Phillip and I would have at our two best friends' wedding. Needless to say, my picture didn't happen.

  As soon as Danny and Lori left, Phillip said, "Good night," and walked away.

  I thought about going dancing to try to make myself feel better, but I couldn't.

  I thought about going to his room, but I didn't know what I'd say.

  So I went straight to my room and kept hoping he would knock at my door.

  Of course, he never did.

  I know it's over between us. It got completely screwed up.

  What am I going to do without my best friend?

  Phillip basically ignored me for the final day of the trip, so I was pleasantly surprised when we got back home, and he was true to his word.

  He acted like it never happened.

  I guess what happens in Mexico, really does stay in Mexico.

  We still talk every night on the phone. It felt a little forced at first, but we slowly worked our way back to normal.

  I moved to Omaha, where I have a job with an engineering firm. Phillip is living at his parent's house, for now, and working at his dad's company.

  My romantic life is, well, not exactly going the way I'd like it to, mostly because I haven't figured out what to do about Phillip.

  So I'm sort of dating this cute guy who's in a band.

  It's a perfectly mindless fling.

  And perfectly mindless is perfect right now.

  The summer flew by with work, and the move and the guitar player. Soon, there is a chill in the air at night and even though the days are still hot, you can practically feel fall, and more importantly, football season in the air.

  I haven't gotten to see much of Danny lately. He went to Wisconsin for the Chiefs' training camp and was named back up quarterback. I try to talk to Lori and him every few days and am thinking about calling them now, actually, when my phone rings.

  I look at the caller ID and am happy to see Danny's name.

  "So you're still coming down for the game on the 11th?" he says, without even saying hello.

  "Hello, Danny, and it depends on how good my seats are."

  "Oh, they're very good, Jaybaby, you're sitting next to Phillip."

  I'm not sure what has happened to Danny since he started the NFL, but he says baby a lot. He and I have spent a lot of our time on the phone discussing the fact that I may very well be in love with Phillip. Actually, we have determined that I am in love with Phillip, and what my possible options are. I swore to him that I would talk to Phillip about how I feel tonight, while we get ready for the Husker Party we're having.

  The Husker party is an annual event, celebrating the first game of the season. We've done it since high school. The venue has changed a lot, sometimes tailgates in Lincoln, sometimes at different houses, but the guest list stays pretty much the same. It's a fun way to keep up with old friends, and I'm really looking forward to it.

  "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but did you know that Phillip is going out with Monica again? I think it's getting serious."

  "Really?" I'm surprised by this news because I got the distinct impression from Phillip that she was just bugging him again. "It doesn't sound serious to me."

  "Well, I think Phillip might be afraid to tell you."

  "Why? I'm dating someone too."

  "Jay, a drummer....."

  "Guitar player," I interrupt and correct him.

  "Does not count. I'm just trying to impress upon you the importance of your doing something this weekend."

  "I know, Danny. I know what I have to do, i
t's still just a bit scary to me."

  "I understand that, but I'm afraid if you don't, you'll lose him for good and to someone like Monica."

  "My life sucks."

  "Well, I expect to hear a progress report on Sunday night. And Jaaaayyyyy?"

  "Yeah."

  "There had better be some progress," he stresses and hangs up.

  I pull up to my condo on Friday after work to find Jimmy, the guitar player, waiting for me. Jimmy has long hair and really does have a rock-n-roll star thing going on. My friends think he is really hot. He is, but he's nothing compared to Phillip, and Phillip is the only thing I can think about lately. Jimmy is just a decent diversion.

  "What are you doing here?"

  "I came to take you with me."

  "With you where?" I reply, not following him.

  "It's so exciting, Jadyn. The band is playing at the Bash tonight. There was a cancellation, and they called us to play at the last minute. There will be a bunch of music industry people there. This could be our big break, and I want you there with me."

  "But I told you last week, I have to go to Phillip's house tonight to get all the food ready for the big Husker party tomorrow."

  "Of course," he snarls, "Phillip is much more important than I am."

  Yeah, I think, but don't say it.

  Instead, I say sweetly, "You know I care about you and your career, but I have 32 people coming to the party tomorrow, and they're expecting something to eat! And the game is early, 11:30. There's no way I could get everything made in the morning, and I haven't been to the grocery store yet!"

  Jimmy pushes me away. He looks angry. I have never seen him look this way before.

  "I am so sick of Phillip this and Phillip that. I'm sick of being compared to Mr. Perfect. As a matter of fact," he grabs me by the wrist hard, looks straight into my eyes and says, "you're done hanging out with Mr. Perfect. You're coming with me tonight."

  I wrench my arm away from him.

  I don't like to be told what to do, and I'll be damned if he's going to do the telling. I look straight at him and speak very slowly, so Mr. Dense can understand.

  "I'm going to keep my plans for tonight. I'm sorry, I cannot go to your concert. If I didn't have people depending on me for this, I would change my plans and go with you, but I can't. You'll just have to deal with it."

  "That's it. It's time for you to choose."

  He is furious with me.

  "Choose what?"

  What is he talking about now?

  "Between Mr. Perfect and Me. You know everyone thinks the two of you have something going on. I always say it's not true, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe the real reason you want to go has more to do with cooking with Mr. Perfect than cooking food." He adds, "In fact, if you don't go with me tonight, we're through. So choose."

  Okay, that's it. He's pushed me too far.

  "Let me get this straight. You want me to choose you, someone I have known for like two seconds, over someone I have been friends with for like my entire life? Well, let me tell you, Jimmy, the choice is easy." I wave bye-bye with my hand and say, "Goodbye."

  "I knew the two of you had something going on the whole time. I'm outta here."

  He storms out the front door, turning back toward me and yelling, "You'll miss me when I'm famous!"

  Driving to Phillip's house, my insides are churning over my fight with Jimmy, the guitar-playing jerk. I mean I would have stopped dating him soon anyway. I was just sort of planning on keeping him around as a backup. You know, in case things didn't go well with Phillip this weekend.

  Shit.

  Now it appears I'm flying solo.

  Of course I can't be too upset, and well, he was kind of right about Phillip.

  I do have feelings for him.

  Very strong ones.

  Of course, they are a whole mixed up mess of feelings: confusion, frustration, denial, happiness, sadness and the strongest one of the bunch, chicken shittedness.

  And that is not like me.

  I am so not a chicken shit about anything else in my life.

  I have rock climbed, surfed, parasailed and bungee jumped. I even drive too fast on a daily basis.

  You'd think this would be easy. But instead, I feel like I'm jumping out of an airplane without a parachute.

  I mean wouldn't everyone be a chicken shit about that?

  Jimmy's comment about cooking with Mr. Perfect cracked me up, but it also gave me a great visual. Maybe I can get Phillip to cook with nothing on but an apron. Or better yet, maybe I should do that. Do you think he'd notice?

  Well, sure he would, he's a guy.

  The more important question is, would he like it, and would he do anything about it?

  I am so hoping that he will give us a chance. I'm also hoping that moaning Monica will not be involved in this whole affair. You know, when Danny told me that he thought Phillip might be getting serious with her, I truly felt like I was going to throw up.

  And that is not a very nice feeling.

  Last week, I went to the bookstore and bought a hardcover copy of the book, Our Town. That's the book we were reading in AP English when my parents died. I have been thinking about the book lately. I knew that the book's main theme is for people to remember to stop and smell the roses. I remember promising myself that I would always try to live life to the fullest, and I think I've done a pretty good job of it so far. But there was something else from that book I know I wanted to remember, and I couldn't seem to remember it.

  I had hoped if I thought about it hard enough, I would remember it in a dream because I do that sometimes, but it didn't work, so I had to go buy the book and reread it. I'm glad that I did because I like the story, and I found what I was looking for. It was the part that says, We waste opportunities at every moment.

  That was the part I was trying to remember.

  And now I see why it's been bugging me.

  It fits.

  I know that I can't waste any more opportunities with Phillip.

  I can't, and I won't.

  God help me.

  I pull up to Phillip's house, get out of the car and knock on the front door. It used to be that I would have just barged right in, but I'd like to think I have grown up some. I take a minute to look around at the houses and the empty lot. In one way it really doesn't seem that long ago that I was camping in the back yard, playing dragon fighter with Phillip, catch with my dad, punching Danny in the mouth.

  But in another way, it feels so very long ago.

  I have so many wonderful memories of growing up here, but I also feel a longing to create a whole bunch of new ones with Phillip. I feel like I'm standing in the doorway of my life, trying to decide if I should go in or not.

  God, when did I become so philosophical?

  I sound like an old sap. Next thing you know, I will be crying and getting out the old videos.

  What in the world has Phillip done to me?

  Phillip's mom comes to the door. She's holding a dishtowel and wiping her hands on it. "Hi, JJ! Come on in. I was just finishing up."

  I follow her into the house and sit on a barstool in the kitchen. The kitchen island is filled with all sorts of tailgating equipment and massive amounts of food.

  "I was just trying to get everything packed before Doug gets home. We decided to drive down to Lincoln and spend the night. The game is early tomorrow, and we won't have to worry about traffic that way. The Diamonds should have the RV here any minute."

  Our parents always went to a lot of Nebraska games together. When Danny started school there, the Diamonds bought a big RV to tailgate in. And do they tailgate! You have never seen so much yummy food and excessive amounts of alcohol. When we were in college, Phillip and I always made sure we stopped by, before we went to the game. It was often our best meal of the week.

  "JJ," Phillip's mom says, "I hope it's alright with you, I made double batches of everything I cooked for tailgating. I thought you could use it for the party tomorrow. Save y
ou two a lot of work."

  "Really?" I'm surprised and thrilled about this. She makes great stuff. Plus, I think naughtily, less time working, leaves more time for play!

  "That's so awesome because you know I think everything you make is wonderful. Thank you so much for doing that." I hop up, give her a sincere hug and sit back down. "Oh," I say, practically drooling on the counter, "did you make any of those yummy little sausage puffs?" I love those tasty little things. "And what about that fiesta dip?"

  "I made both of them, dear. I know they're your favorites." She smiles at me, like she is about to tell me a big secret, and I realize for the first time that Phillip has her exact smile. "I even went a little crazy and bought some of those red tortilla chips. I hope they taste the same as the regular kind."

  She hands me a spreadsheet of all the food she made, saying, "Here's the list of what's here and how to cook it."

  My, she is very organized. I should make lists because it never fails, when the party is over, I discover something in the back of the frig that I forgot to serve.

  I look over the list and see it's pretty extensive. Barbecued brisket with mini dinner rolls, veggie tray, cheese ball and crackers, cheese dip, swedish meatballs, sausage puffs, summer sausage and cheese tray, fiesta dip with red chips, Go Big Red cupcakes and mint brownies.

  "I think I'm in heaven. Go Big Red cupcakes and mint brownies! You're spoiling me." And thinking about them, I say like a little kid who wants cookies before dinner, "Can I have a brownie now?"

  "Sure," she says, and gets me a brownie.

  I really love this woman.

  "Phillip's going to have his work cut out for him tonight, just trying to keep me away from those brownies, but other than that, I don't know what we're going to do with ourselves all night."

  Well, I actually do have a few ideas in mind.

  She smiles a knowing smile. I hope that mind reading thing doesn't run in the family. But I'm worried because I get the feeling she knows exactly what I just thought.

  "I thought it might be nice for you and Phillip to spend some time together, without having to worry about the party." She pauses and then says, "I have a question for you. Have you and Phillip ever thought about dating each other?"

  I wonder if she already knows about Mexico. I kind of hope not.

  "Um, well, we did talk about possibly dating in May, right before Danny and Lori's wedding."

  "And?"