by Naomi Niles
I headed for baggage claim and then towards the outer canals of the airport. I spotted Sam before he spotted me. He was dressed in a dark pants and a white shirt, and I knew he was trying to look like a chauffeur. He had a huge sign in front of him that said “doctor douche bag” in all caps.
I rolled my eyes and came forward. “Original,” I called to him.
Sam turned in my direction and laughed. “You like?” he asked. “I made it myself.”
“I’m flattered.” I shook my head at him. “The effort you go to, to insult me.”
“Don’t think you’re special or anything,” Sam replied. “I make as much effort for Alan and Pete.”
I smirked. “Get over here, you little jerk,” I said, as I grabbed Sam and gave him a tight hug.
“Whom are you calling little?” he demanded, but he hugged me back willingly.
We walked through the airport trading insults and it was only when we were driving back home that the conversation turned to a more serious note.
“So,” I said. “How have things been while I’ve been away?”
“Good,” Sam nodded. “I thought it would be a little weird…”
“Weird?”
“Well, Peter and Madison are living together now. I thought it would be strange to go back home and see their…domestic bliss. That house has been a man cave for so long.”
“Any differences?”
“Lots,” Sam nodded. “She’s softened up the place. There’s more color, more patterns, and she likes to keep flowers in the house. All in all, it’s an improvement.”
I smiled. “That’s good to know. I’m glad Pete’s found someone. It’s good for him.”
“Apparently, he’s not the only one,” Sam said pointedly. “Tell me about your girl.”
“Oh, right.”
“Don’t act coy, now…”
“I’m not being coy,” I laughed. “I just thought I’d told you about her.”
“It was probably Peter,” Sam sighed. “You always tell Peter things first.”
“Not true.”
“True!” he said forcefully. “You two have always had a private club, ever since we were kids.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s just because we’re the closest in age,” I explained. “We tend to know more than you guys did. We were aware of more.”
“Even now?” he asked accusingly.
“Awww, is someone jealous?”
Sam whipped his head from side to side. “Don’t be absurd. I’m too fucking cool to be jealous. Plus, Alan and I share things that we don’t share with either you or Peter.”
I laughed. “Fair enough.”
“You’re supposed to ask me what things we haven’t shared with you,” he said.
“I don’t particularly care.”
He shot me a look. “Well, that’s too bad – it’s a doozy.”
“I bet it is,” I replied uncaringly.
Sam huffed. “You’re no fun.”
I laughed. “Since Alan is your favorite brother, how come you’re picking me up instead of him and Jessica? Aren’t they taking a Greyhound in this time?”
“They are,” he nodded. “But I drew the short end of the stick and I got stuck picking you up. Pete wanted to pick up Alan, too. Guess you’re not really his favorite brother, after all.”
I laughed. “Do you want to hear about Kami or not?”
“Yes, please.”
“She’s great,” I said. “Amazing, really. And, she’s an excellent cook – better than Pete.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that.”
“I’ve already told him as much,” I smiled. “He’s a big boy. He can handle it.”
“How did you two meet?”
“Ah.”
“Ah?” he repeated.
“We met through…unconventional means,” I admitted.
Sam frowned at me. “What does that mean?”
“Just what I said.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“She came in as one of my patients,” I admitted. “For a consultation.”
“No way!” Sam cried, punching the air with his fist. “She wanted her boobs to be bigger?”
“It doesn’t matter what she wanted,” I said. “She didn’t end up going through with the surgery.”
“Why not?”
“Because she never really needed anything done,” I explained. “She has a beautiful body and doesn’t need to touch it. It’s just that she’s battled insecurity her whole life. She just needed someone to tell her that she was perfect just the way she was.”
“Are you seriously telling me you convinced a beautiful woman not to get bigger boobs – ones that would benefit you in the long run?”
I shot him a glare.
“Oh my God,” Sam said, taking my glare as confirmation. “You are such an idiot.” He paused for a second and then he turned to me with wide eyes. “Hold on…does that mean you saw her naked?”
“What?” I asked innocently.
“If she came in for a consultation, I can only assume you had to check out the goods, right?”
“Don’t be a child, Sam,” I said.
“You lucky bastard! So you saw the whole package, and you decided to get in on that, huh? Very wily of you, I’m impressed.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Did you ask her out while she was sitting naked in front of you?”
“You really are a creep, you know that?” I told him.
Sam threw back his head and laughed at my annoyance. “I only kid,” he said. “I know what a gentleman you are. I just didn’t know women were into that anymore.”
“Seriously?” I asked, with raised eyebrows.
“Women want bad boys,” Sam told me. “They want tall, handsome strangers. They want men who are passionate and exciting and wild.”
“And you’re saying I’m not any of those things?”
He raised his eyebrows at me.
“Asshole,” I shot at him and he laughed.
When we pulled up outside the house, I felt a whirl of affection for the place that had been my home for the last thirty-two years. It looked the same from the outside, except for the shiny new addition veering off to the side.
“So when are you coming back home?” Sam asked as he parked.
“Miss me, huh?”
“Not really,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “Just curious as to why you up and left to California. You never really explained that properly to me.”
I was saved from having to get into it by the blare of a horn from just behind us. I turned and recognized Pete’s car coming up the drive.
“They’re here!” Sam said, like an excited child as he turned off the engine and got out of the car.
I followed him out and stood there, waiting for everyone to disembark. I could see Peter’s wide smile from the driver’s seat. He was the first to reach me.
“You look good,” he said, as he gave me a hug.
“And you,” I nodded. “Madison’s been taking good care of you, I see.”
“Of course,” Madison said, coming up behind Peter. “I promised you I would, didn’t I?”
“Madison,” I smiled as I gave her a hug.
Then it was Alan and Jessica’s turn. We greeted each other warmly, basking in the togetherness of being a family. I had to admit, everything felt that much brighter now that we had a little feminine energy in the mix. It was nice that Madison and Jessica got along so well, and I couldn’t help wonder how the dynamic would be if I had bought Kami along.
As Jessica and Madison spoke, I pulled Alan aside and patted him on the back. “Congratulations, by the way,” I said. “I never really got a chance to say that before now. I hear wedding bells are in the future for you and Jess.”
Alan’s blue eyes darted momentarily towards Jessica. “She doesn’t know yet. I haven’t proposed. I want to do it with everyone present.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Can I co
unt on you to make the visit when I need you?”
“Of course,” I said willingly. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
We traipsed into the house together and within the next half an hour, Peter had a delicious meal set up at the dining table.
“We’re going to need a bigger table soon,” Peter said in amusement as we sat down.
We spent the whole meal in continuous chatter. The only one who was really missing was Talen. Victor was on a date, so he would join us the next day. I felt a tug for Kami. I was convinced she would blend in well with the family.
After dinner, everyone broke off into little groups. Sam and Alan lost the straw pull and were forced to clean up, Madison and Jessica settled in the living room for a chat, and Peter and I ventured into the new addition for a private talk. Peter kept the door slightly ajar so that it wouldn’t seem as though we were trying to hide anything.
“So,” he said, the moment we were alone. “Any leads?”
I took a deep breath. “I have a confession to make,” I admitted.
Peter wrinkled his eyes at me. “Okay…shoot.”
“I will,” I nodded. “If you promise not to shoot me back.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Are you trying to say that you found her?”
My eyes flashed to the door and then back to Pete. “Yes.”
“No way!” he said happily. “Why would I shoot you for that?”
“Because I found her a while ago,” I admitted. “I just…couldn’t bring myself to approach her.”
“Until now?” he asked expectantly.
“Not even,” I sighed, as I sat down in one of the lounge chairs. “I came this close to… It was by accident, but still.”
“Okay,” Peter said. “Start from the beginning and tell me what happened.”
“The first time I saw her was a few weeks ago,” I confessed. “I managed to get an address for the Alice Burbank in my neighborhood. I parked across the street and she walked out a few minutes later and… I just knew.”
“Our mother?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “But for some reason, I just froze. I couldn’t bring myself to approach her. And after seeing her that one time… I guess I got scared.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’m a coward,” I said. “And, I didn’t want you to know that.”
Peter smiled. “I don’t think that of you.”
“Well, you should,” I said. “Because yesterday, I went back over there. She wasn’t at home and I got hungry. So I went to this diner that I’d passed on the way. This woman at the counter dropped a twenty-dollar bill and I bent down to pick it up. When I gave it back to her…”
“Alice Burbank,” Peter said.
“Exactly,” I nodded. “It was her and again…I froze. She thanked me and walked out and… I did nothing to stop her. I didn’t even try to prolong the conversation. I just watched her get in her car and drive off.”
Peter looked at me sympathetically, but that just reminded me of my own inadequacies. “I’m useless,” I said.
“Don’t say that,” he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “I might have done the same in your position.”
“Please…”
“It’s true,” he said reassuringly.
“Well, either way, I’m resolved to do something when I get back to California,” I said. “And this time when I see her, I’m going to speak to her.”
“Speak to who?” Sam asked as he pushed open the door and walked in.
Peter and I exchanged a glance.
“I think it’s time we told him, JJ,” Peter said, in a soft voice.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kami
I loved working, but there was something sacred about having a day off every now and again. It made the work that much more enjoyable for some reason. I stretched in bed, wondering how JJ was doing and wishing I were with him. I had a nice leisurely shower, washed my hair, and gave myself a little pedicure before heading to the kitchen.
“Haley?” I called.
I was sure she would be up. It was almost eleven o’clock, and it was not like her to sleep in late. She was usually the active type. But lately, it seemed that had changed. She took to her bed more often, and even her one-night stands had reduced somewhat. I wasn’t exactly upset about that, but I was worried that it may spell something more worrisome.
I knocked on her bedroom door, but when I got no answer, I walked in. Haley was under the sheets, hidden from view except for a tuft of blonde hair protruding from the top.
“Hales,” I said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. “Hey, it’s late. Is everything all right?”
Haley moaned and turned over. “What time is it?” she asked.
“Eleven,” I replied. “Didn’t you go to bed early last night?”
“I didn’t sleep, though,” Haley replied, rubbing her eyes. “I couldn’t.”
“Couldn’t?” I repeated.
“Can we go visit Mom’s grave today?” she asked, side-stepping my question.
“Sure,” I nodded. “Of course. I was thinking the same thing, actually. How about in the evening, after we watch the Thanksgiving parade and before dinner?”
“Sounds like a plan,” she nodded with a small smile.
She got out of bed and headed towards her bathroom. I went into the kitchen and put together an exotic fruit salad for the both of us. When Haley came out, I handed her a generous bowl. “Time to start watching.”
It was just a small thing we did on Thanksgiving, but it had become tradition over the years. Our mother had loved parades – she watched a number of them and had taken us to see a few when we were younger. I supposed it made us feel closer to her.
Haley accepted the bowl of fruit salad with a smile. “You know what would make this brunch truly spectacular?”
“Ice cream?” I said, reading her mind.
“That’s why we’re sisters,” she laughed. “What do we have?”
“We have vanilla Hagen-Dazs and chunky monkey from Ben and Jerry’s,” I said.
“Chunky monkey, please,” Haley chose.
I spooned two generous scoops into each of our bowls and then we settled on the sofa and turned on the television. Haley was silent as she ate her fruit salad, and I couldn’t help shooting a few glances her way. She seemed different somehow, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
“Where do you wanna go for dinner?” I asked. I was trying to draw Haley out of the reverie she seemed to be in.
“Umm…anywhere,” she replied distractedly.
“Come on, Hales,” I said. “It’s Thanksgiving. Let’s put some thought into where we’re eating.”
“Uh… Chinese?”
“You said you were sick of Chinese the last time,” I reminded her.
“Oh, right,” she nodded, with her eyes fixed blankly on the screen. “Thai?”
“Okay,” I said, knowing she was barely concentrating. “Where?”
“Wherever,” Haley replied.
I sighed, but I didn’t press her further. I let her remunerate in silence while I took our empty bowls into the kitchen to wash them out. When I came back into the living room, Haley had turned off the television. I decided to just ask her what was on her mind. I sat down beside her with my legs drawn up to my chest.
“Are you still thinking about what happened with Ethan?” I asked.
Haley turned her head in my direction. “A little,” she nodded.
“It upset you a lot, didn’t it?” I asked quietly.
“It didn’t upset you?”
“I was expecting it,” I admitted. “Which is probably why I was better able to handle it.”
“Hmm…smart girl,” she said. “I was never that bright.”
“Don’t say that.”
She shrugged. “I like to call a spade a spade.”
“Well, in this case, it’s uncalled for,” I said firmly. “You are smart. But you’re also hopeful, and it’s
no crime to expect your own father to want to be in your life…for no other reason than he loves you.”
“It was too much to ask for,” she sighed. “You were right, I was naïve to think he could change.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself,” I said.
Haley didn’t reply right away. She looked off into the distance, as though she were searching for something. “Do you remember the parades Mom used to take us to?”
“Of course,” I nodded, smiling at the memories. “She was like a child. She thought they were magical.”
“To this day, I don’t know if I like the parades because of genuine interest or if it’s just because of Mom,” Haley said.
“Probably because of Mom,” I said. “It’s why I like them. For no other reason would I have agreed to go into large crowds.”
“Good point,” she nodded. “But you didn’t have such a crowd phobia at the time. That happened later.”
“It happened because of all the scenes Dad pulled in public places,” I said. “He used to get angry for no reason and start yelling. Everyone would try not to stare, but it was obvious they were watching. I hated that. It was the most humiliating thing.”
“I remember,” Haley nodded. “He yelled more at us in public, though. He never said much to Mom when they were out together.”
“No, he saved that for the house,” I said darkly. “His mission in life was to make her life miserable. And he succeeded in the end. Why else would she have killed herself?”
Haley didn’t say anything. She just played with her fingernails and avoided my eyes. “Hales?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you sure you want to visit Mom’s grave today?”
“Yes,” she nodded. “Why?”
“You just seem sort of down,” I said diplomatically. “I don’t want to make it worse by visiting the cemetery.”
“I’m fine, Kami,” Haley sighed. “We haven’t been to visit in months. It’s time we went.”
“Okay,” I agreed without pushing it.
An hour later, we dressed and headed over to the cemetery. It was a beautiful day and the irony of being surrounded by graves was not lost on me. We walked through under the shade of the trees until we came to the spot we had visited so often in the past. We had each bought a bouquet of flowers and knelt down together to place them by her simple tombstone.