Perfecting For Love - A Standalone Novel (A Doctors Romance Love Story) (Burbank Brothers, Book #3)

by Naomi Niles

  “That’s my girl. You do know your dad very well and you play that song like a professional. I wouldn’t be so sure, though, that he doesn’t see through you from time to time.”

  “I know he does. But he’s smart enough to know that if he makes a big deal out of it, I just won’t come around very often. So he’d rather hear from me a little and sweet talk him into getting what I want rather than to never hear from me at all. That’s how you have to handle it when it comes to parents.”

  “I will remind you of that someday when you’re holding a baby in your arms.”

  I smiled. The idea of holding Sean’s baby in my arms was far preferable to remembering my father’s frowns. “I’m going upstairs. It’s my turn to make dinner. Any special request?”

  Sean looked at me, a sly grin on his face. I knew what he wanted to say and we both knew he couldn’t say it.

  “I’ll take that as a no and just make a something hot and filling. I have a lot of writing to do tonight so I’m going to keep things simple.”

  “Gwyne, my dear, there is absolutely nothing that you are capable of keeping simple. That is truly the secret to your charm.”

  “You didn’t seem to mind that a couple of nights ago,” I reminded him with a sly smile.

  He drew a deep breath and expelled it, shaking his head. “I have to admit, you sure do have a way with me. Perhaps one of these nights we’ll have another blizzard and you can have your way again. Except this time I’m going to get my share of you.”

  I knew he thought his words were meant to playfully threaten me, but they sent shivers of desire into my lower belly. The idea of Sean, his mouth, his fingers, his hard cock all having their way with me was a fantasy come true.

  I swallowed hard and went up the steps to my own apartment. I browned some ground beef and pulled a loaf of frozen French bread out of the freezer. A few noodles and a tossed salad later, there was a spaghetti dinner waiting for each of us when I called down to Sean. He came up almost immediately, telling me that he probably hadn’t eaten yet that day. Although our deal was that he could come up and eat any time, I knew he was trying to not use up my food. He knew I didn’t make a tremendous amount of money and that my utilities through the winter in the firehouse would be higher. He was very cognizant of my situation, and at the same time grateful for my help. If nothing else, this brought the two of us together. It was as if we were married and going through the lean times at the beginning. They made us feel closer, more united by a common goal and more dependent upon one another. We didn’t have the money to go to plays or to fancy restaurants. We had adapted to a simple life in the center of a very complicated, immense city. We were learning how to live together, how to love together, and how to survive together. Whoever said that sharing a burden with someone you loved cut it by half certainly knew what they were talking about. I couldn’t have described it better if I had tried.

  Chapter 20

  Having run the course on all the local human-interest stories that I could come up with, John Warner summoned me to his office to discuss my future assignments with the paper.

  “Good morning, Mr. Warner,” I said as he invited me into his office.

  “So, is there a president to your fan club?”

  I wasn’t sure if he was being facetious, so I decided to play it cool. “I’m sorry?”

  “Well, it seems that nowadays about half of my mail is about you and one of your stories.”

  I knew it cost him big time to tell me that. He was essentially giving me leverage over everything from salary to the kind of articles I wanted to write. I believe I could’ve worn a superhero cape at that point and he wouldn’t have laughed. “I’m hoping they were all positive?”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re a big deal now. Of course, remember you would’ve never gotten your start if it hadn’t been for me and this paper.”

  “Absolutely, Mr. Warner. You had faith in me and gave me my start. I will never forget that. So, what is it that you have ready for me next?” I was operating under the assumption that I was not called in to be let go.

  He pretended to rifle through some papers as if the answer to that had to be uncovered. We both knew it was a sham and that he absolutely knew what he wanted to offer me next. “Okay, here it is. Let’s see. So, my board of directors has a little charity they like to support. It’s upstate in a small town, but it’s a home for unwed mothers and the children they decide not to keep. So, once the mothers have moved on, the kids stay behind and hope for adoption. Sometimes it happens, other times no one wants them. Naturally, it’s not unusual for a mother to have a dope or drinking addiction and the child bears the brunt of those decisions. There are also a few kids there who were placed due to having an unsatisfactory home life. They can be pretty messed up as well. It’s no Boy’s Town, although sometimes it might appear so, but my directors have put a lot of money and a lot of interest into these kids’ welfare. As of late, there have been some troubling reports coming back that their money isn’t always being spent for the benefit of the kids.

  “Naturally, you being the new superstar of our reporting staff, they asked me for recommendation of someone to send up they are to snoop around a little and I thought of you. It will be a long-term assignment, meaning that I’d like you to get a little apartment and pretend to the community that you’re moving to town. Maybe you could even apply for a job working at the orphanage; in fact, I think I would be a really good idea. I will arrange it. This isn’t for print; this information is to stay private. It will take the form of a report to my directors. Do you have any questions?”

  “I trust you’re going to give me the name, address, who to talk to, and so forth, right?”

  “Of course.”

  “And shall I assume that I’ll be there for six months? A year?”

  “Here’s how I want to work it: I want you to go up there first and spend a long weekend. Get the feel of the place. I’ll set up a prospective interview for you at the orphanage and let’s see how they take to you. If you spot something fishy early on, maybe we don’t have to do the relocation thing. I’m going to pretty much leave that up to you.”

  “So you just want me to go up for two or three days to see what’s going on and then report back. Is that right?”

  “You catch on fast, girly.” The cigar waggled from the corner of his mouth and I had come to understand that this signified the end of our conversation.

  “No problem,” I told him and left to go collect the information from Martha.

  I headed back home and found Sean working on a doorframe for one of the apartments. “How would you like to get away for a few days?” I asked him.

  “What’s up?”

  “Well, the boss gave me an assignment to visit a little town upstate where there is an orphanage. It seems that the board of directors supports it and they have reasons to believe that things aren’t all on the up and up. So, Mr. Warner has asked me to go up for a long weekend and snoop around a little. I was thinking you might go with me and we could find a cozy little bed-and-breakfast. It would be nice to get out of the city, and I would love to spend some alone time with you. At least there no one will know us.”

  Sean considered the look of excitement on my face and he realized it was pretty important to me. “You sure you want to do that?”

  I knew what he was referring to. He didn’t mean the fact that we be out of town for three days, but the fact that we be sharing a bed for three days. I nodded. “Yes.” I kept my answer simple and didn’t try to qualify it again. I knew I had an annoying habit of doing that.

  “Okay, you’ve got it.”

  “Really? You will go with me?”

  “You can’t stop me.”

  I couldn’t help myself; I ran over and gave him a big hug and practically skipped up the stairs to my apartment. According to the itinerary that Martha had given me, I would be leaving in two days’ time. There was a voucher for car rental and instructions for me to find somewhere that I wo
uld like to stay and bill it to the paper. They would inform me when I should make my appearance at the orphanage for the interview. Other than that, my time was to be my own. Although in this case my time would belong to Sean and I together.

  “Dad?”

  “Hello, Gwyne; it’s good to hear from you, honey.”

  “Dad, I wanted to let you know I’ll be out of town for a few days for the paper. It’s a little town upstate. If you need me for anything, just call the paper because I’m not sure where I will be staying and there may be some points where I don’t have cell phone coverage.”

  “What’s going on upstate?” Dad never took simple excuses without getting some elaboration. It was part of his Marine training, I suppose. Perhaps it was just being a father.

  “It appears the board from my newspaper contributes to an orphanage up there. They’ve gotten some reports that they’re not too happy about and want one of their nosy reporters to check it out.”

  “Well, they’ve got the right girl.”

  Dad’s sarcasm wasn’t wasted on me. “Yes, I know, you think I’m wasting my life. Regardless, I thought I would be the good daughter and let you know, Dad.”

  “Thank you for being so thoughtful. Have a safe trip and let me know when you’re back.”

  The line went dead and Dad’s salty tone no longer felt the way it had when I was young and insecure. At least I had done the right thing, and moreover, I was preventing him from hunting me down while Sean and I were on our own.

  I threw a load of laundry into the machine and called down to Sean. “Anything you need washed?”

  I heard his footsteps coming up the staircase. He walked toward me and held out a pair of jeans. He was wearing nothing else from the waist down. The breath went completely out of me. “Oh, my God.”

  “Sorry. Do I embarrass you? I guess I sort of thought you and I were past that point?” There was a devilish look on his face and I knew he was pushing my buttons. However, the surprise was on him when I reached behind me and picked up my glass of ice water, sloshing the frigid liquid over his lower half. He leapt backward, clutching himself and I howled with laughter.

  “That will teach you,” I taunted him.

  “There definitely is a devil in you, my dear.”

  “I think I may have temporarily chased it out of you!” I laughed.

  “That, and a bit more, I’m afraid.”

  We laughed and in that one, golden moment, I knew we were both lost. There was no way we could ever return to an informal friendship; no way we could dismiss all that had gone on between us.

  * * *

  I had rented a bright-red Jeep Grand Cherokee for our trip upstate. It was required that I be the driver as the car had been rented in my name. Sean didn’t seem to mind and settled back for a relaxing trip once we left the city. He put a CD in the player and we listened to music, content to just be together.

  The bed and breakfast was in a Victorian house, one that was unbelievably restored. It looked as though it had been shrouded from time, to have just recently emerged. It was painted a pale yellow and the eaves were trimmed in white with white, fish-scale shingles. It had a broad, seasonally enclosed porch that was covered with ivy trailing down its posts. The postcard was complete with a series of white rockers in pairs, lining the expanse. In the front lawn, between the hydrangea bushes that were sleeping for the winter, was a sign that read, “Mulberry House.” It was absolutely, picture-perfect charming. I wished I could pack it in my bag and take it home with me.

  Sean carried our bags in as I checked in at the tiny counter in the foyer. We were given a room that overlooked the street and by the time we got settled, it was time for dinner. The hosts of Mulberry House were a quiet, yet gentle couple who stocked an excellent kitchen, if the meal on the table was any example.

  There was an antique platter filled with delicate slices of roast beef, surrounded by buttered new potatoes and carrots.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had such delicious, homemade bread. Mom used to make it when I was a girl and it always signified a special occasion. Once again, this was a special occasion; Sean was with me and we were almost playing house, even if it didn’t belong to us. There was an apple crisp made from the fruit of the harvest. It was served warm with scoops of vanilla-bean ice cream. As they say, my eyes were bigger than my stomach and I was only able to take a few bites, but I felt so pampered. That was an expression I would often use with Sean, for his mere presence made me feel pampered.

  After dinner, Sean and I sat in the large family room at the back of the house. It had floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the beautifully landscaped backyard. There was an arbor and I imagined that roses had grown over it in the summer. I told myself if ever Sean and I were to be married, this was where I would like it to take place. It was as if it were made for us. They had laid a fire in the massive fireplace and I watched as the flames played hide and go seek from one another amongst the logs. I was utterly and completely content.

  Sean’s arm was around me and his fingertips were rubbing small circles into the flesh of my forearm. I moved my arm so that he touched the soft skin on the inside of my elbow and I shuddered with delight at the sensations this wrought. His finger imitated the movements I wanted to feel in that private area that belonged only to him. I looked up at him and smiled and he knew what I was thinking. He stood and helped me to my feet, and together we walked up to our room, bidding the proprietors a pleasant evening.

  We were charmed to find out that they had also laid a fire in our bedroom. There was a four-post bed that probably dated back to the late 1800s, although it was furnished with an ultramodern mattress and box springs. This combination caused it to be high off the floor, and there was a small, wooden step waiting at the edge of the bed. I pulled my night things out of my suitcase and went into the bathroom to shower. When I came out, Sean was sitting in a chair by the fire, staring at the flames. Without saying a word, I began turning down the bed, fluffing up the pillows, and folding the thick comforter down to the feet. Sean never looked up, not even as I climbed beneath the coverlet. I sat up, resting my chin on my arms bent over my folded knees.

  “Is something wrong?” I asked him.

  A few moments passed before he answered. “No, not really.”

  I was perplexed. “Do you not want to be here?”

  “I’m not sure how to explain this,” he began. “It feels as if I don’t belong here. I know you like it here, I can tell. I even think you might like the idea that you and I would have a house together at some point in the future. Am I wrong?”

  “No,” I shook my head and laid it once again upon my arms. “You’re not wrong.”

  “Gwyne, I can’t give you weekends away like this. I literally am flat broke. You know that firefighters don’t make very much money and there’s no reason to think that’s going to change. I had accepted that when I came to New York City. All I could think about was helping people, helping people like Damien. And it never entered my mind that I might meet someone, and most certainly not someone like you. You deserve more from life. I have no right to be with you here, now, as if we are lovers with a future together. The more time we spend together, the closer our hearts become. I know you feel it, too.”

  As his words rolled about me, they became a swirl and there was a fear in the pit of my stomach that he was about to say goodbye. I really didn’t know what to think. “What are you trying to say, Sean?”

  He shook his head. “I really don’t know what I’m trying to say. You don’t belong with a guy like me who can’t give you everything that you deserve. Even if I gave up firefighting and did something else, I wouldn’t be enough for you. I’d always feel a sense of regret that I didn’t live up to the promise I made to myself. You would know I wasn’t happy and you would feel responsible.”

  “Would you like me to go downstairs and rent a second room?” I made the offer and the words choked me. I held my breath, waiting for his respons
e. He continued to look into the fire, as though it would give him the answers he needed.

  “No, there’s no need for that. I can sleep here in the chair.”

  Everything I had been dreaming of for the past three days had turned to ashes. By this time, I had expected that we would be in one another’s arms, our legs intertwined and his fingers exploring my every crevice. This was not at all what I wanted. I laid back against the pillows, anticipating his objections before I commented. “You know, you just might be wrong about all of this.”

  “How’s that?” He still did not look up from staring at the flames. I understood then that he saw the flames as hell welcoming him on the wings of temptation.

  “First of all, I don’t remember you asking me whether money was important or not. You also might remember that I have a job. I don’t happen to be one of those traditional women who believes that the man has to make the most money in a household. I have a job, I have a home, and it’s paid for, and I’m the only child of a man who will soon be retiring. I have no debt and I have the ability to earn more money if I need to. What I don’t have, however, is a man in my life who makes all of that worthwhile. If all you want from life is money, that’s the easiest thing to get. It’s the quality of the partner you’re with that gives you true value.”

  “Pretty words from a pretty writer,” he said in a low voice.

  “Why are you being so hostile to me? What have I done wrong?”