Perfecting For Love - A Standalone Novel (A Doctors Romance Love Story) (Burbank Brothers, Book #3)

by Naomi Niles

  “God, Gwyne, I thought I would give us away. I don’t think I breathed three whole times while I was in there. I was so glad to see Carla.”

  “So, how did all that go? Did she introduce herself or did Dad introduce her?”

  “No, she was really cool about it. She immediately held out her hand and introduced herself. Of course, I don’t know why she would’ve done anything else, but it certainly bridged an uncomfortable gap at the time. So, can I help you with dinner?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, you can. Those two trays on the table there are for Dad and Carla. I’m making one up for each of us now. You and I will eat in the living room. Does that work for you?”

  “Of course. We haven’t spent much time together as of late, and I miss you, Gwyne.”

  “Hush, Sean. We can’t talk like that when we’re here. You never know who will overhear us when we’re not looking.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, let me take these trays down to your dad’s room and then I’ll be back.”

  I nodded and turned back to making our dinner trays. I wanted to take Sean down into the basement where there was a family room and far more privacy, but I didn’t dare. I knew one thing would lead to another and the risk of discovery was just far too great. If Dad discovered that Sean and I were in a relationship, the dam would open and it would be too late to force the water back. Sean’s life would be destroyed and having no other options in the city, he would be forced to leave, probably forever. The gamble was high.

  Sean reappeared and we carried our trays to the living room as I flipped on the television and found an old, black-and-white movie. It was a Cary Grant film, and his quirky sense of comedy help to lighten the mood in the room. How strange was it that Sean and I sat there, lovers, yet we sat in silence while Dad visited with his own lover, separated from her by his illness. Life always seemed to get in the way. It made you want to question whether a happily ever after could even exist.

  “Are you still staying here?” Sean asked me.

  “Yes, at least tonight. To tell you the truth, I was sort of hoping that Carla might offer to look in on Dad from time to time. With you and the other guys from the firehouse, you’ve got the really heavy stuff covered. I’m just here for company and cooking, maybe a little laundry. I think Carla might be willing to spend some time with dad and that would just leave me cooking and laundry. If that’s the case, I can do that at home and just stop in once or twice a day to check in with him.”

  “That sounds like a good plan to me.” He took a bite from his plate and I could see he was not the least bit interested in the movie. “I miss you, Gwyne.”

  “Hush! We just talked about this. How long are you staying at the firehouse… well, at my firehouse?”

  “I’ll be there tonight. I’ve found a roommate, Gwyne. He’s a cop and we have opposing shifts, so it makes for a good combination.”

  “But, I’ll still be here tonight,” I told him, my heart heavy that I would be sleeping away from him from now on.

  “That’s why I asked. Gwyne, believe me, if there was any other way…” his voice trailed off.

  “I know,” I said softly. “It is what it is.”

  I turned my attention back to the movie, or at least I tried to do so. Cary Grant was trying to rekindle an affair with a newspaper reporter. How appropriate.

  There was a sound behind us and I turned to see Carla standing in the hallway. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Your dad is wondering when he might have his next pain pill. I think he is in some discomfort.”

  I leapt up from the sofa and went into the kitchen. He wasn’t due for his next pill for another hour, but I didn’t give a damn. If he was hurting, and it was in my power to make it stop, that’s exactly what I was going to do. I filled the glass with water and turned from the sink to see Carla standing behind me.

  “Gwyne, I know that taking care of someone who is very ill is a hard job. I think you realize that your dad and I have grown to be very close. I was wondering whether you might permit me to take some of that load off of your shoulders?” Her voice was soft and tentative, as if she were treading in another woman’s territory.

  “Carla, if you don’t mind, take these to Dad. They always make him fall asleep. I’ll be right here and when he nods off, why don’t you come out and let’s talk?”

  Carla nodded, took the glass, and disappeared back down the hallway. I had lost my appetite and while my plate was only half-empty, I picked it up and carried it to the sink. Sean had brought his as well, and stood behind me at the sink. I knew he looked over his shoulder quickly and then he bent forward and kissed the back of my neck. “Just remember I love you,” he whispered before returning to the living room. This time he sat in Dad’s recliner, across the room from me. We both were keenly aware of one another’s presence, and the fact that we couldn’t be together. I got up and retrieved my laptop, handing Sean the remote control as I passed him. “Here, pick anything you like. At least one of us should be happy,” I commented wryly and sat back on the sofa with my laptop.

  “Gwyne?”

  I looked around and Carla was coming down the hallway. “You are right. He’s getting very sleepy. He asked if someone might come in and help him get ready for bed.”

  “That’s my cue,” Sean perked up from his internal reverie and headed down the hall to help Dad.

  I patted the cushion at the other end of the sofa and invited Carla to sit down. While she was nothing like my mother had been, she was a very sweet and caring lady. She had a mothering, tender voice and it was easy to fall under the spell of confiding in her. I knew that I couldn’t tell her about Sean, as much as I wanted another woman to talk to. I had never maintained female friends for very long. They had only lasted the duration of whatever class or event had brought us temporarily together. Now, here before me, sat a woman who was a mother’s age; her sweet smile inviting my every confidence. I felt trapped in emotional quicksand; my love for Sean and my fondness growing for the mother side of Carla. I couldn’t give into either one of them.

  “I’m sorry? My mind was on something else. What was that you were saying?” I apologize to her. I had been deep in thought and just then became aware of her voice.

  “No problem,” she said. “I know you have a lot on your mind right now. What I was saying was that as I mentioned earlier, I would like to help you take care of your dad. I don’t want to intrude, far from it.”

  “No, I understand,” I told her. “I can imagine that it feels a bit uncomfortable for you to be here, just barely knowing me and no one else to deflect all this emotion. I will share with you, Carla, that as an only child, as well as a daddy’s girl, I’ve pretty much gotten my way my entire life. Some might even say I’m a bit spoiled.” I smiled at her and she returned the smile.

  “So, when Dad had this attack, it was the first time in my life that I was being called upon to give back. Dad has always been the provider. I’m sure you understand.” Carla nodded and she reached over to pat the back of my hand.

  “Your dad has told me so much about you. He loves you so very much.”

  “I know he does. But, I also think that this event, shall we call it, has probably brought to light the fact that I depend on him very much. I know this is going to bother him. I know that he will want to push me away somewhat, out of the nest, so to speak. He will realize that if something were to happen to him, I would be devastated and almost incapable of filling in the gap that he would leave. I know he doesn’t want that for me.”

  “You are very wise for a woman of your youth,” Carla pointed out. “And, I believe you’re absolutely right. In fact, some of the comments he is already making suggest that. How may I help?”

  “I’m not really sure, to tell you the truth. This is all very new to me to. I’m guessing, however, that I need to give Dad some indication that I’ve grown up more. I want him to see that I’m capable of taking care of myself. He needs to know that should something happen,
I will be okay. Otherwise, it could cause him to worry, and that’s not a good thing in his condition.” Carla nodded in agreement again.

  “So, what I’m getting at is that if you wanted to be around here little bit, I think it would be a great idea, actually. I can tell dad that I have to get back to work, that I have bills to pay and that I can see that he’s in good hands. I know you don’t know very much about my private life, Carla, but I bought a firehouse from the city that had been retired. I’m renovating it, little by little, to create to apartments in the lower level. I intend to rent these out as supplemental income. In the meantime, I work as a reporter and my beat, as we call it, includes mostly human-interest stories. Those take a lot of time to research and I can’t always do them on a computer. To do human-interest stories, you have to be out among humans, you understand.”

  Carla chuckled. “Good point, my dear.”

  “What were you thinking of in terms of how often you would be here?”

  “I can be here as little or as much as you need me,” she said, her hands extending outward and up to indicate she had plenty of time and was at my disposal.

  I thought for a few moments and then asked, “I was thinking I might return to my own place starting tomorrow. I do have to get back to work as well. One of the guys from the firehouse will always be on hand here to help with Dad until he’s able to get around on his own. I figure, that leaves taking over his medications, cooking, and laundry. I could handle the cooking and laundry in my place and just bring them over a couple of times a day. That way I could visit with Dad and watch his progression. If you could check on him, too, and keep him company, I think that would be enough of us. It would be a good way to get him, as well as me, back in the groove of normal life. The doctors told me that’s important for recovery. You have to see a goal in order to work for it. It is going to be hard for him first. Although he’s a strong man, his body has taken a major hit. They’re going to start physical therapy for him next to the hospital, beginning tomorrow. The guys from the firehouse will see to it that he gets there and back. Could you work around that schedule?”

  “That’s perfect, Gwyne. It sounds like you have it all worked out. He’ll have all of his needs covered and yet no overlap to make him feel as though he’s being squashed with attention.” She laughed at her own comment and I appreciated the fact that she understood my dad so well. She had used exactly the right words.

  “Great! Then, as of tomorrow, I’m going to move back to my apartment. That will free up one room here, so if you’d like to grab a nap or whatever, it’s yours. When Dad wakes up later, I’ll go in and tell them what we’ve decided.”

  “Do you think you’ll be okay with this?” Carla asked in a tentative voice.

  “I’m quite sure he will. After all, it was my idea and I always get my way.” I winked at her for emphasis and she answered with a broad grin.

  “You are everything your dad said you were, and more.”

  Chapter 25

  Dad seemed to respond very well to Carla’s presence and I knew I’d done the right thing in moving back home and leaving them be. The guys from the station were needed less and less as Dad regained his strength through physical therapy. Although I popped in from time to time, there seemed to be little for me to do. Carla was cooking and keeping up with laundry while Dad napped. It was a very domestic scene and I’d begun to feel like an intruder.

  I got to the point where I only stopped in twice a week to see Dad. Carla had brought more of her things from home, and I would have sworn she had moved in to live. I couldn’t have been more thrilled. Having her out in the open made my life simpler; or so I thought.

  “I’m feeling back to myself,” Dad announced during one such visit. “What’s been going on in your life while I’ve been on standby?” he asked me, leaning back in his easy chair. Carla was sitting in the nearby club chair, peacefully crocheting something.

  A million thoughts flew through my head. Normally I had a pretty good idea of Dad’s monitoring and had a rehearsed speech ready. This caught me off guard. I chose the wisest path.

  “I’m great, now that you’re feeling better, Dad,” I pre-empted.

  His look narrowed; it was the look I dreaded. It meant that my initial speech wasn’t going to satisfy him. “What about Bob?” he began his interrogation.

  “What about him?” I was looking at my watch and anxious to leave although I’d only been there about ten minutes.

  “Are you still seeing him?” he asked me.

  I got that deer in the headlight look. “Bob? Oh, yes, of course I am. Not much, not while you’ve been sick, of course, but yes. Gosh! Will you look at the time! I need to hit the road, Dad. I’ve got tons to do on the computer and I have a workman coming by to give me estimates on the firehouse upgrade.”

  “I’d like to see him,” Dad shot at me and I knew he wasn’t giving in that easily. “Bring him to dinner Sunday.”

  “Sunday? Well, gosh, Dad, I’m not even sure he’s available. He’s a very busy guy, you know.”

  “Not on Sunday. No one works Sunday – at least no one who is interested in my little girl, that is.” His tone was adamant.

  “Well, no promises, but I’ll see what I can do, okay?” I felt flustered and that was unlike me. I told myself it must be the new dynamic with Carla on hand; as if I was the child Gwyne and had just been called to task by my parents. I realized suddenly that while I had, up to this point, only had to hide my relationship with Sean from Dad, and I had him wound around my little finger, that now Carla was also watching me and that was what was making the difference. I began to feel defensive and an undue pressure that was an entirely new emotion. There was no reason I should have to hide my life from Dad. Now that Sean had moved out, I was totally alone and even if I was in love with Sean, we hadn’t seen one another in more than two weeks. Everything was so confusing; I felt trapped in a glass bottle with no way to scale the sides and escape. This wasn’t the life I’d envisioned. It wasn’t the life I wanted. I needed to figure a way out; how to be with Sean and not be under the scrutiny of Dad, and now Carla.

  “Carla, is there anything you need?” I asked.

  She stopped her crocheting and looked up, a sweet, contented look on her face. “No, nothing at all,” she said and I read the peace in her voice and caught the quick look she exchanged with Dad.

  I nodded. “What are you making?”

  Her needle stopped and she smoothed out the piece that lay in her lap. It was a dark gray, almost charcoal, and an intricate pattern with a tight weave. “It’s an afghan for your dad,” she smiled and looked to him again.

  I could see Dad flush and I knew he was embarrassed by the soft emotion she expressed. It felt unique to see him in a state of discomfort; Dad was never the focus of anything sticky. I nodded. “It’s beautiful,” I complimented her and she beamed and began adding stitches.

  I stood and stretched. “Well, I’ll be going. I have so much to do. If you need something, just let me know. Okay?”

  I hugged them both and headed for the door. “Sunday, four o’clock,” came Dad’s voice from the other room.

  “Okay, I’ll confirm. Have to check with Bob first,” I called back and quickly escaped into the brisk air.

  * * *

  “Hi, Bob? It’s Gwyne here.” I had called him on his cell and he had picked up immediately.

  “Gwyne! Great to hear from you again. I was beginning to think you didn’t need me,” he teased from his end and I could feel the noose of lies begin to tighten more around my neck.

  “Well, as a matter of fact, that’s why I’m calling. I do need you, actually. Dad is feeling more himself now and he’s beginning to get antsy.”

  “Was something wrong?”

  “Oh, yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t remember that you didn’t know. Dad had a heart attack; a serious one. He underwent surgery and has been at home recovering. He’s feeling his oats again and while he’s not been cleared to return to work yet, he
has enough energy that he’s become nosy and is into my private life. Oh! And there’s Carla.”

  “Carla?”

  “Dad has a girlfriend. They’ve been an item for quite a while and after he got sick, she sort of stepped forward and has been taking care of him. I stopped by to see him and he has insisted that I bring you to dinner on Sunday, four o’clock.” I steeled myself for his response. If he refused, I was cooked. I’d have to come up with another alibi, even though Sean and I weren’t spending time together as we had been.

  “Sunday at four sounds wonderful!” his cheerful voice boomed. “I’d love to go.”

  I felt an odd sensation in my belly and couldn’t tell whether it was relief, or the sense of impending doom because it would be so easy to get caught lying to Dad. “Wonderful. Uh… would you mind coming to the firehouse I own and pick me up? It seems that’s the best idea for this charade I’ve created.”

  “No problem. I’ll come by and pick you up about three-thirty. That will give us time for you to give me a tour,” he chirped from his end.

  I gave him the address and disconnected. I wasn’t sure what to expect and knew that most likely, I’d have to fill Bob in on a few things so we had some sort of “past” between us. How is it that I’m now dating Bob while all I want is to be with Sean?

  I busied myself with work the next few days. I’d called Carla and confirmed that Bob and I would be there for dinner and offered to bring something, but she refused. “It will give me a chance to try out a new recipe I cut from the magazine,” she said, her voice full of motherly excitement. I realized how important this whole event had become to her. She finally had the sense of family she’d never had before. I felt the burden even more strongly than before and the guilt was growing. What’s wrong with me? I asked myself. I had never felt guilt about anything before. Why now?