Employees Gone Wild

by Richard Burton

  Is it okay for your employer to ask for your cell number?

  Sure, they can ask.

  Many employers do ask for employees’ cell numbers for emergency contact. During Hurricane Sandy, when a large portion of lower Manhattan was essentially closed due to flooding and hurricane-related power outages, businesses whose premises were inaccessible or lacked power contacted employees via cell numbers—since many employees were similarly affected and not at their home numbers—to let them know the situation, advise when the office would reopen, and give directions about working remotely.

  Giving your boss your cell number isn’t a bad idea, either. If he or she needs to contact you outside office hours, the call won’t end up being answered by a family member who forgets to tell you for three days. Also, if it’s a genuinely urgent situation—someone is fired while you are on vacation and you’re the only other person who knows where the client presentation is—the call will find you quickly.

  However, if your boss is of the “you’re on call 24/7” school, you might feel less inclined to make yourself so easily available. You can claim you are one of the eleven people left in America without a cell, but when you pull it out to answer a call from your significant other, that game will be up. (Also, you may be labeled a Luddite, stuck in a previous century, which isn’t necessarily good for your career.) It’s perfectly legitimate to tell your boss you prefer to use the cell for personal matters only because you’re on a limited plan or you need to keep your line open for emergency calls from family or you just want to be professional and keep your personal business separate and ask your boss to use the number only in an emergency.

  And just because your employer calls your personal phone doesn’t mean you have to answer . . .

  MEMO TO MANAGEMENT

  The more at home employees feel—or the more time they spend at the office—the more likely they will do personal business on company computers. You may not want to be draconian and look the other way at a little logging on to Facebook or checking Gmail, but beware of the slippery slope. Clear boundaries will assure that everyone understands exactly what is acceptable and what is not and make dealing with transgressions much more straightforward.

  CHAPTER 4

  What Happens in Vegas May Not Stay in Vegas

  Keeping Off-Hours Peccadillos Out of the Workplace

  Keeping work and private life separate is a good idea, but in this highly connected era, it may be harder than it seems. We’ve all heard stories of modern-day would-be Ferris Buellers who call in sick but then post to Facebook pictures of themselves at the beach or out partying, setting the post as public or forgetting that they accepted a friend request from a boss or HR rep. I hope you’re smart enough not to make that mistake.

  But even when your outside activities have nothing to do with work, there may be consequences back at the job. Even during off hours, your job may define you enough that the damage to your personal reputation affects your workplace reputation. Or worse, your company may decide they don’t want to be associated with you. And rest assured, what you do on your own time often has a way of finding its way back to the workplace. What happens in Vegas not only may not stay in Vegas—it could cost you your job.

  CASE FILE

  Swinging for the Fences

  A senior executive we’ll call Harry had an ongoing argument with his next-door neighbor. We never did find out what the original beef was, but the neighbors had been sniping back and forth over whatever it was for some weeks. Finally, late one night, aided by an appreciable quantity of whiskey, Harry’s temper boiled over.

  Wearing only his underwear, Harry grabbed a baseball bat and charged out of his house. He slugged his way through the fence between his and his neighbor’s property, then practiced his home-run swing on the neighbor’s air-conditioning unit.

  Harry’s neighbor called the police, who disarmed the drunk and irate executive and took him into custody, charging him with disorderly conduct. His wife was dragged out of bed to bail him out, and he made it to work the next morning, a little late and a little the worse for wear.

  That might have been the end of the story, until someone at his company ran across Harry’s mug shot on the website of the local sheriff’s office—it’s not just celebrities whose mug shots are posted online; many communities make them all available. Harry was, shall we say, not looking his best in the mug shot—drunk, sleepy-eyed, unshaven, and shirtless. Hardly the polished professional he was at the office. You won’t be surprised to hear that the link to the mug shot traveled far and wide within Harry’s company.

  Harry was surprised, however, when he went into the coffee room and found his mug shot printed out and posted above the coffeepot.

  He’s just lucky nobody pulled out a smartphone and put the incident up on YouTube.

  TIPS

  Taking the Fifth

  If you get into legal trouble outside work, should you tell your employer?

  Yes, if:

  • The transgression is job related. Even if you’re innocent, it’s better that you alert management—and have the opportunity to make your case—than they find out when the police come around asking questions.

  • What you’re charged with is something that would have kept you from being hired if it were on your record preemployment—for example, if you work in law enforcement or the financial industry. Similarly, if your company has strict rules about disclosing arrests, and you don’t, concealing the situation may be considered equivalent to lying about it.

  • It’s going to make the papers. Everyone will find out anyway, so a heads-up gives you a chance to do a little damage control.

  • The consequences—court appearances, etc.—will require you to take unplanned time off work.

  No, if:

  • It’s a minor matter unrelated to your job. They may or may not find out about your fight with your neighbor, but as long as it’s likely to be resolved without consequences to your ability to do your job or your reputation in the company or industry, there’s no reason to make it an issue.

  • Being presumed guilty—of something you didn’t actually do—would affect your ability to do your job. For example, if you were falsely accused of stealing, you risk your employer thinking you a thief and restricting your access to money or property. If you can clear things up quietly, you don’t risk losing responsibility or operating under a cloud of suspicion. Clouds of suspicion don’t always go away, even after the charges have. However, if you did do the crime, it’s a different story.

  MEMO TO MANAGEMENT

  The employee who posted Harry’s mug shot in the coffee room was clearly out of line, but whenever an employee is involved in a legal matter, it is a good idea to manage the message. The employee is presumed innocent until proven guilty, but whatever the situation, if the legal matter doesn’t directly affect your business, you’ll want to keep the chatter from overwhelming everyone’s ability to do their jobs. If you can’t keep the entire matter under wraps—and in this day and age, that’s virtually impossible—at least make sure any conversations about it are based strictly on facts, that employees at all levels realize that this is not an appropriate subject for gossip, and that everyone knows that discussion or speculation that might affect the company negatively—like telling a customer or client that an employee is out of the office for his court date—may result in disciplinary action.

  CASE FILE

  End of the Line

  A quiet, nerdy guy called Ned was one of those nondescript people you barely notice and barely remember. He spent his workdays hunkered down in his cubicle in his threadbare business shirts, nose to the computer, at a desk that was always clear except for a framed photo of his family and an extra pair of glasses. He was polite and pleasant with colleagues but didn’t really talk much about his life outside work.

  Ned failed to come into work two days in a row without calling. The first day, he was barely missed; he was so quiet when he was in. By the second day, th
ough, people noticed his absence because the usually reliable Ned had failed to deliver work to others. His manager was about to call his home to check on him when Ned’s wife called him in a panic: Was Ned at the office? Had they seen him or heard from him?

  It seemed Ned had left home in the middle of the night—and left behind a note for his wife. He had inherited a six-figure sum after the death of a relative, she revealed—shocking enough, given the well-worn state of Ned’s clothing, his high-mileage old car, bargain-store tastes, and the absence of any other signs of affluence—but Ned had confessed in his note that he had squandered all the money on strippers and prostitutes he had found online. He ended his note by saying that he couldn’t face his family after what he had done and didn’t think they would ever want to see him again anyway, so he was going to end his life.

  The authorities were of course immediately involved, and they asked that we review the information on the computer that Ned had spent his days focused on. Sure enough, the computer data contained the evidence of his addiction to online pornography—he visited many porn sites daily, all of which required payment to see “the good stuff”—as well as his correspondence with prostitutes in the Elliot Spitzer price range.

  This story has a happy ending, however. A few days later, Ned was located alive, hiding out in a motel room a few towns over. He had realized he didn’t really want to kill himself, but was too embarrassed and afraid to come back and face his family until police discovered him and he had no choice.

  Ned returned to his job—with the condition that he seek therapy for his issues and that certain sites and keywords be blocked on his office computer. He also returned to his family. With the support of family and coworkers, he’s putting his life back together.

  MEMO TO MANAGEMENT

  Discretion in a sad situation like this is key. Whatever the outcome, there is nothing gained in trumpeting an employee’s personal issues around the office; better to be supportive of the authorities and the family, while of course assessing any potential risk to the company. In this case, discretion about the circumstances and a compassionate response from management allowed a good employee to return without undue disruption around the office.

  CASE FILE

  Payback Is a Bitch

  Not long ago, we dismissed an employee for cause, and she wasn’t happy about it. Nobody’s happy about being fired, but this former employee took her anger to frightening extremes.

  After her departure, the employee, whom we’ll call Toni, began sending text messages to her former supervisor. She called the supervisor a “controlling b****,” and blamed her for the issues that led to the dismissal. Toni told her ex-boss that because of the firing, she couldn’t feed her family, and she held her supervisor responsible for that. Even after being asked to stop contacting anyone at her former employer, Toni continued the barrage of messages to her former supervisor. She escalated to threatening to commit suicide because of the pain of losing her job. Finally, she told her ex-boss she knew where the boss lived, giving the address and names of the supervisor’s family members, and threatened to “go out with a bang” by coming to the workplace or the supervisor’s home and taking her and others with her.

  We don’t take threats of violence—to oneself or to others—lightly. We contacted the authorities immediately, and the former employee was taken into police custody.

  It’s Not Just Talk

  You might be angry about being fired or upset about some other issue or problem at work, but be careful what you say—to colleagues, friends, or online. These days, when hostile and/or mentally ill people have acted on threats to harm or kill too many times, any employer has to take a threat—however idle—very seriously, just in case. A threatening remark made in the heat of anger, whether or not you ever had even a moment’s thought of following through, will lead to immediate involvement of police, and if you haven’t been fired, there’s a good chance you will be.

  TIPS

  Four Ways to Keep Your Cool

  If something at the workplace lights your fuse, here are some ways to blow off steam so you can deal with the situation rationally and keep your job and reputation:

  • If you have to rant, rant to a friend or loved one. Don’t rant to colleagues, no matter how trusted (alliances shift; also, you might be overheard by someone who doesn’t realize you’re just getting things off your chest). Definitely don’t rant on social media.

  • Do something physical: if you have the flexibility to step out for a walk, do that. If you have to stay put, you can still do some jumping jacks or running in place. Burn off some of that negative energy in a healthy way.

  • If you just feel like you need to hit something, find a safe way to do that. Wait until you’re away from work, and take some swings at a punching bag, or make this the day to knock down that old fence. I heard of a fellow who offered to help a friend with some demolition on his property on the condition he could write his boss’s name on the cinderblocks before he took a sledgehammer to them. He felt better, and helped his friend out to boot!

  • Maybe there’s no one you feel comfortable talking to about the situation. Then take a piece of paper and pour it all out there—how you feel, what you wish you could do, anything you need to get out of your system. Then make sure to destroy the piece of paper. In fact, ripping it up into tiny pieces may be therapeutic in helping you get rid of the anger.

  Once you’re in a calmer frame of mind, you’ll be better equipped to address the issue with a clear head.

  MEMO TO MANAGEMENT

  If you don’t have a policy in place for addressing threats of harm, including threats of suicide, you need one. Everyone should be aware that this is a very serious matter, and even offhand remarks—“I just want to strangle that guy”—should be followed up on. In most cases, it’s just talk—but you never want to find out too late that the employee was serious about doing harm. In addition to the potential liability issues, there is the personal: if you realize in the aftermath of a tragedy that you saw and overlooked the signs, you will have to live with that. Better safe than sorry, both legally and morally.

  CASE FILE

  Who’s the Boob Now?

  We had two women—different times, different areas of the business—with similar complaints: male coworkers were commenting on their breasts. As we’ve seen in a previous chapter, that is not work-appropriate conduct. But in both these cases, there was another factor in play.

  One woman reported the harassment from one specific coworker. He was brought in to meet with management about the issue, at which point he handed over his cell phone to show the text message exchanges he had been having outside work with the woman. Her messages to him included the following gems:

  • “u r a great kisser”

  • “you would luv my boobs”

  • “my boobs are a perfect 34dd—enjoy!”

  He said she was claiming harassment because he hadn’t called her back after a recent date. We concluded the situation was consensual and not harassment.

  The other woman brought her complaint to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that men in the office had been heard discussing her breasts. During the investigation, it came out that the woman had posted a number of nude photos of herself on a provocative website. The EEOC determined that those photos were the subject of the discussion and dismissed the employee’s claim.

  In both these cases, activity outside the workplace affected the outcome of a claim of sexual harassment in the workplace. In fact, lots of things you do outside work can come back to haunt you when you raise a complaint; for example, you might claim that you’ve been passed over for a promotion in favor of a less experienced candidate and find that management factored into their promotion decision the fact that you were posting the praises of a competitor’s product on Twitter. You don’t live, or work, in a vacuum, and neither does your employer.

  CASE FILE

  Talk Is Cheap

  Gossip has a way o
f taking on a life of its own. If you’ve ever played a game of telephone, you know how a message changes with being passed down the line, losing—or gaining, in the case of juicy gossip—in translation. Stories get more colorful and vivid with retelling.

  That was the case when two employees were talking about a third in the elevator. “I bet he lives at home with his mother, and still has all his Star Trek posters on the bedroom wall,” one joked. Another employee boarded the elevator in the course of the conversation. She repeated the remark to someone in her department, and away it went, through the rumor mill. After a few rounds, it had the poor fellow living in a house with his dead mother, à la Psycho, and hoarding Star Wars action figures that he planned to sell on eBay to pay for his retirement.

  Silly gossip, until someone was relating it, to great guffaws, once again in the elevator. Also in the elevator, unrecognized by the gossipers, was the man’s wife, who was meeting him for lunch. She was not amused.

  The wife was able to describe the storyteller to her husband (who, incidentally, did not live with his mother, living or dead), who spoke to that employee’s supervisor about the matter. The storyteller ended up being reprimanded for gossip he didn’t even start.

  TIPS

  Shh! Don’t Tell

  Gossip is hard to resist, but it’s wise to know where to draw the line. A couple things to consider before you share something over coffee:

  • Will it affect the person’s reputation in the company? If so, he or she might have reason to take it up with HR, and they might in turn take it up with you.

  • If it got out, might it affect the company’s reputation or business? You might tell people not to tell, but we all know how ineffective that can be in the long run.