Love in Greener Pastures

by Bretz, Amanda

In the hall, Claire depressed the button on the elevator, as the two of them waited in silence for it to arrive, the reality of what she would ultimately lose if she took the job hit her hard. Gabby felt herself give into the gnawing feeling that had overcome her since she had walked into the building. She cleared her throat and decided to get it out in the open now.

  “Claire, I’m probably nuts for saying this, but please take me out of the running for this position. If I am offered this job, I’d have to regrettably decline or take it and not be able to give two hundred percent of myself like Marshall requires.”

  The elevator doors opened and a group of people stepped off, making room for Claire and Gabby.

  “What makes you say that Gabby? I thought you wanted to work for Chicago Style,” she asked incredulously.

  “I do, believe me, I do. It’s amazing to even land an interview here, but I can’t take the job. Two weeks ago my father had a work-related accident, I left Chicago and went back home to help watch over him. He has full-time nurses to care for him, but I know if push came to shove, I wouldn’t leave him, I couldn’t leave him. He’s all I have. I’m sorry, I can’t take the job.”

  Claire appeared momentarily stunned. “Thank you for your honesty, Gabby. I interview a lot of people for Marshall, and believe me when I say you don’t find honesty much these days. I understand your reason for declining, and I hope your father has a speedy recovery. We’ll keep your resume on file for six months, if anything changes, let me know.”

  Gabby nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak anymore. She had just taken herself out of the running for an opportunity any recent college graduate would give their right arm for. Once they were in the main lobby of the building, Claire gave Gabby’s hand one final shake and wished her luck. Gabby walked out of the building and into the steamy atmosphere and buzzing traffic of the city. She walked in the direction of the L-train station and tried to ignore the nagging voice inside her head. Even though she didn’t take the job, she didn’t like feeling like she’d failed the interview. A perfectionist at her core, Gabby began to replay the interview scenario in her mind.

  To say the interview went well wouldn’t be accurate. It seemed to fall somewhere between awkward and ambiguous. She couldn’t help to contrast her experience at Chicago Style with how easy and informal her interview with Chuck at the Lake Breeze had been. At the newspaper, her writing had spoken for itself. Also, Chuck wasn’t nearly as imposing as Marshall Falcon. The name alone seemed ominous. Chuck was more like a grumpy grandfather-type whereas Marshall seemed as though he could be exacting and unforgiving.

  The interview had gone badly, but did it really matter when she wouldn’t have taken the job anyway? Gabby stopped dead in her tracks. She was overthinking it all. Which was a trait that only Gabby’s mother had been able to help her overcome when she had been alive. She took a seat on an empty bench and suddenly decided she needed a girl’s night. She quickly sent out a mass text to her college friends and then headed for one of her favorite bars. Happy Hour would be starting soon.

  Her father’s voice snapped Gabby out of her reverie about the trip to Chicago and the disastrous interview. She knew there was no use torturing herself with the details over and over again, she needed to snap out of it. Gabby swung her feet over the side of the bed and made her way toward her father’s room.

  “What is it, Daddy?”

  “Take a seat,” he indicated the empty space at the foot of his bed. “How was your trip honey? Do you think you got the job? I want to know all about it.”

  Gabby looked long and hard at his helpless form lying on the bed and felt as though she were seeing him hurt again for the first time. Memories of her mother lying in the same bed suddenly washed over her. For once she didn’t push them away. She missed her mother, she was gone and she’d wouldn’t be back, but she had her father. Gabby realized her father was looking at her expectantly, she decided to tell him the truth about the interview.

  Part of it, anyway. She could never let her dad know she refused the job for his sake. Gabby would never want him to feel guilty for the decision she chose.

  “I don’t know. When I got in there, in the interview, I don’t know what happened to me. It was like all my assertiveness and confidence just…” she splayed her hands in front of her, frustrated that she still couldn’t accurately describe how she felt or what happened. She filled her dad in on the details of her interview.

  “You choked, Boogs. It happens to the best of us,” her father said comfortingly.

  “I don’t know if that’s really what it was. I felt fine until…Until I met the editor. He was so different from Chuck, or any other editor I’ve ever worked with, really. He wasn’t…” she stopped herself before she admitted what she was most upset about. Marshall Falcon hadn’t been impressed by her. Or if he had, his poker face was amazing.

  “He wasn’t what? Fawning at your feet, Boogs?”

  Gabby reddened at the fact that her father had seemingly read her mind. He knew her inside and out. Did she really expect to hide anything from him?

  “Oh, Daddy,” she said as she stretched out lengthwise at the foot of the bed and looked up at him. She resolved not to cry, she would stay strong.

  “Am I that immature and conceited? It’s not only because he didn’t seem that impressed by me. He just seemed so…Rough. I’ve never worked for anyone like that before. I’ve always been the star. Not just in school and in writing, but here at home, with you and Mamma. I was always your perfect girl.”

  “You still are. That will never change. Sweetie, you’ve got to decide if you want to work for this man or not. Of course I don’t want you to, because I think you belong here. But don’t let one scary editor keep you from following your dreams.”

  “I’m not scared,” she said meekly. “I just think my priorities have changed,” she said in a whisper.

  When her father said nothing to her in return, she pulled herself up off of his bed and walked out of the room. She wanted to be alone. She glanced at the clock on his bedroom wall as she walked out. It was just before eight a.m. His daytime nurse would be arriving shortly.

  Gabby walked outside barefooted and began walking across the grassy expanse of the backyard toward the small pond her father had dug years ago. A large elm provided shade, while a wide cushioned bench offered comfort. Her feet ached. She’d stupidly worn a pair of cursed heels all around Chicago yesterday. She must’ve walked at least two miles, and not to mention danced for hours with her girlfriends.

  She pulled her knees up to her chin and gazed at the water as it glistened in the sunlight. She reached up and pulled a few leaves off the low hanging branches of the tree. Gabby absently shredded the leaves to bits as she thought about how stupid she had been acting as of late. Was she trying to ruin her life? She mentally counted out all the things she’d done over the past month. She certainly had a lot to atone for, she realized shamefully.

  First she’d stormed out on Jake and hadn’t spoken to him since. She’d been neglecting her relationship with her dad and had been complaining about Clear Lake and stomping around her father’s house like a spoiled child since she’d came here. She had walked into this situation knowing her father needed her and he was the only parent she had now. She needed to show him more gratitude and love.

  Gabby sighed as she thought of her worst offense. She’d driven back to Clear Lake last night in the middle of the night after being out with her girlfriends and drinking. She hadn’t been drunk when she drove home, but still. It was a foolish risk. She could’ve gotten hurt or hurt someone else. She could’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. Her mind reeled at the possible things that could have happened.

  Her friends had all begged her to come back to one of their houses and leave in the morning, but Gabby had stubbornly refused. She’d hit a diner and drank several cups of coffee and eaten a hearty meal, then hit the road in her father’s truck. Gabby couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stay in the city any longer. It
had gotten under her skin like an irritating rash.

  Since her return to Clear Lake, she’d thought she hated the small town. Hadn’t she claimed to miss the hustle and bustle of the city? But after only two weeks in her hometown, she’d already acclimated back to her roots. Chicago was beautiful, but the air wasn’t clean and fresh like it was in Clear Lake. There was no shortage of things to do and see in the city, but there wasn’t an abundance of peace and quiet either.

  On the flip-side, the Lake Breeze would never win a Pulitzer, but her writing was welcomed and needed there. Chuck and the other writers may look at her as a cocky young kid, but she knew that deep down she was slowly earning their respect and they saw her as an asset to the paper. She’d already made a difference in one family’s life and she had the potential to do much more. If she had taken the job with Chicago Style, she’d be starting at the bottom rung, which was expected of recent graduates, but how long would it have taken her to reach the top? Would she ever have gotten there?

  Gabby heard a slight whimpering sound and a crunching on the grass behind her. She turned her gaze to see who could be in her backyard.

  “Smudge!”

  The dog galloped toward her and licked her face as Gabby bent down to give her a hug.

  “What are you doing here, girl?”

  “I was just on my way to work, Smudge has an appointment at the groomer’s today, so I’m bringing her into the shop with me this morning,” Jake said.

  Gabby’s heart skipped several beats when she looked at him. He was wearing his mechanic’s uniform and his hair was still wet from the shower. It had been nearly a week since they’d spoken. Six very long and painful days, Gabby reminded herself.

  “Hi. What are you doing here? How did you know I was home?”

  “Lucky guess,” he said with a shrug. “Plus, the truck in the driveway was kind of a dead giveaway.”

  “Oh? Do you make it a habit of driving by my house every day?” Gabby asked playfully.

  “Maybe, but only because I’m a concerned mechanic, and I like to make sure the truck is being well taken care of,” he said with a wink. Gabby gave a laugh and shook her head. He sobered almost instantly and cleared his throat.

  “So how did your interview go?”

  “Um, good. I think,” she sighed. “Okay, that’s a lie. It went pretty bad. The editor seems like an ass and I don’t think I’ll fit in there. And want to know the weirdest part? I’m not sure I care anymore. In one way it would be amazing and a huge ego stroke to get a job at Chicago Style, but I don’t know. Something happened. When I was in the city yesterday, it just didn’t feel right anymore.

  “I even came home sooner than planned. I felt like…I was suffocating. I hung out with my girlfriends and no one asked me how I was doing. No one asked about my dad. No one cared about me, or my life. They were more concerned with the latest pair of shoes they snagged on sale and who was dating who in Hollywood. It was a wake-up call. A couple weeks ago, I was just like them. And I don’t want to be that person. But, I’m not sure I belong here either.”

  She dropped herself to the bench with a loud sigh. Jake began to laugh, softly at first then loudly and almost hysterically. Gabby looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Had he gone mad or was he making fun of her?

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, you’re cute. That’s all.”

  “Thanks, but what does that have to do with anything?”

  “When are you going to realize you belong here? You are Clear Lake and it is you.”

  “That’s a very Zen-like statement, Jake. But I still think you’ve lost your mind.”

  “Well, look at yourself. You’re sitting around a peaceful pond, barefoot, no less. You claim you hate this place, and Chicago is the center of the universe, yet after only what, two weeks away from the city, you can’t stand to spend even twenty-four hours there and you come running back here. This is your home,” he said slowly enunciating each word. “You’re not a city girl, you’re a country girl,” he said with a smile.

  “Jake,” Gabby said.

  She didn’t know what else to say to him after that. There were no words. He had that effect on her.

  “Sit down.”

  “Sure, I missed you, too,” he said playfully.

  She couldn’t resist him any longer. She leaned in and kissed his lips.

  “You infuriate me.”

  “I see that,” he said licking his lips. “Mmm. Anger tastes like cherry lip gloss. Well, come on, get good and mad,” he said leaning in for another kiss. “What are you doing sitting out here by yourself this early anyway?”

  “I needed some quiet time to think. This was also my mother’s favorite spot. I don’t know, I feel like I’m most in her presence here, the way you feel your mother’s presence when you run.

  “Jake,” she said in a soft serious voice. “I’m so sorry for everything I said to you the last time we talked. I should have called you sooner, I don’t know why I didn’t.”

  “It’s okay, Gabby. I’m just as much to blame as you are,” he said as he lightly stroked her bare knee.

  “I have to tell you something that I haven’t told anyone yet, not even my dad. I guess you’re right about me staying here in Clear Lake. I didn’t take the job. I still can’t believe it. That’s part of why I’m out here, trying to get my head together. Maybe a part of me is second guessing my decision.”

  “Wow, I’m surprised, but very happy. What made you decide against the job?”

  “Well, I asked to be taken out of the running for the job for lots of reasons. The main reason is my father. I came here to take care of him and he’s my only parent, I can’t leave him for a job, or anything else. It wouldn’t be right, he’s never left me. I think he deserves the same treatment in return.”

  “I totally agree, and I’m not just saying that because you’re staying in Clear Lake,” he glanced down at his watch and quickly jumped up from the bench. “I really need to get going, but how about I pick you up for lunch?”

  “No,” she said.

  A look of hurt and confusion swept across Jake’s face.

  “Let me pick you up for a change. I’ll bring egg salad sandwiches from Rita’s, and we can eat outside at the park, if you want?”

  “Sounds great, my favorite sandwich with my favorite girl,” Jake gave her a quick kiss. “See ya then. Come on Smudge,” he motioned to the dog. She’d been sleeping on Gabby’s feet and reluctantly rose to a standing position and followed her master to the truck.

  Gabby watched the duo walk away and expelled a long breath, now that she’d told Jake, she felt a lot better about her decision. In her heart she knew she’d made the right choice. Her father was everything to her, jobs would come and go, but she only had one dad.

  ***

  It was amazing to Gabby how different life in Clear Lake was once she’d decided to stay. Over the course of a few weeks her life had transformed dramatically. She’d finally gotten her car repaired and she was able to stop driving her father’s gas-guzzling truck. She and Stacey had been spending more time together and Gabby was even helping throw a baby shower for her.

  She was enjoying her work for the newspaper and incredibly, she was getting along with Walter, so much so that she’d taken to asking him for advice on writing often. Her articles for the Lake Breeze were written on everything from the summer reading program at the library to the upcoming Independence Day celebration.

  And of course there was her relationship with Jake. The two had been spending nearly every evening together after work. They’d settled into a ritual of going for a run, followed by dinner with her dad, then quiet time together either on the town or at the Hollow.

  Gabby marveled to herself at how their time together was both familiar and yet exciting all at once. While neither of them had spoken yet of their level of commitment nor had they talked about the future, Gabby couldn’t imagine what her life would look like without Jake in it. Even though he hadn’t said so in
words, she was confident he felt the same. She’d seen it in his eyes, felt it in his touch and could hear it in his voice.

  ***

  Gabby walked hand in hand with Jake on Main Street amidst the hubbub. The town of Clear Lake looked even more picturesque thanks to the Fourth of July decorations. Every square inch was covered in red, white and blue. As Gabby looked around objectively, she realized it looked completely idyllic, whimsical and like a small slice of vintage Americana.

  “I remember last year thinking I had somehow slipped into a Norman Rockwell painting when I was watching the festivities. It’s so…quaint,” Jake said of the town.

  “It is,” Gabby murmured as she smiled at a man she had spotted across the street from her.

  “What?” Jake asked as he followed her stare.

  Gabby chuckled and shook her head. “It’s nothing, really. That’s just an old boyfriend, from high school.”

  The stocky man waved to Gabby and gave a curt nod in Jake’s direction. The man sprinted up to the band as they were picking up their instruments preparing to begin playing again. Jake watched as her old boyfriend leaned close to the lead singer and motioned in Gabby’s direction. He shook hands with the lead singer and quickly leapt from the stage. The lead singer took the mike and announced they would be playing a request from Rick, dedicated to Gabby. Oh Lord, thought Jake, but when the band started playing the first few rowdy chords, he quickly realized her ex-boyfriend hadn’t dedicated a slow love song to her. Instead, he had chosen an up-tempo country song about a girl who was trouble. Gabby’s nickname in high school.

  Jake looked to Gabby to see if she was upset, but she was staring at Rick, who was walking toward her. Gabby’s eyes were shining and she was wearing a huge smile on her face.

  “Jake,” Rick said with an acknowledging nod. “Come on out here, Trouble. You owe me a dance!” He declared as he wrapped her in a quick bear hug and then spun a laughing Gabby out in the area of the make-shift dance floor.

  Jake watched in fascination as Gabby danced with Rick to the tune. He’d always felt Gabby belonged in Clear Lake and was a lot more of a country girl than a city slicker, but seeing her dance to a country song only sealed the deal to Jake. She was spinning around Rick and doing complicated country line-dance moves that Jake had never seen anyone do before. He realized Gabby Richards was full of surprises. This was an entirely new and he thought, amazing, part of her Jake was seeing.