Return of the Jerk (Sweet Life in Seattle, Book 2)

by Simonne, Andrea

  “Hi, Lori,” Blair says, coming up to them. “Everything okay?” She’s dealt with Lori drunk before and knows the best thing is to keep an even voice, pretend everything is normal.

  “That dirtbag, Garth, ran out on me this morning!” Lori says, even louder than before.

  Blair isn’t quite sure what to say. Good riddance comes to mind. Instead, she puts a sympathetic expression on her face.

  “I’m just trying to get my mom to have a seat, relax a little bit.” Tori smiles at Blair apologetically. It’s a smile Blair has seen Tori wear a million times in regards to her mom.

  “That’s a good idea,” Blair says. “Why don’t we all go sit down?”

  “Need another drink,” Lori grumbles.

  Blair studies her. Lori’s eyes are bloodshot. There’s pink lipstick smeared over the lines of her mouth with some of it on her teeth. Her blonde hair is pulled into an elaborate French twist. The blue cocktail dress she’s wearing is tight and shows off a fair amount of overly tan, wrinkled cleavage. Despite all this, Lori still has a certain sex appeal.

  Somehow, they manage to convince her to sit down, mostly by telling her they’ll get her another whiskey sour. One of Lori’s friends comes over, which becomes a good distraction.

  “Thanks,” Tori says to Blair. “Garth chose a great day to leave.”

  “Can’t say I’m sorry to hear he’s gone, though.”

  Tori sighs. “Me, either.”

  Blair’s eyes search the room. As always, without effort, she spots Nathan. To her surprise, he’s looking directly at her, and her heart skips a beat. Their eyes stay on each other for a long moment, but then he turns away. He’s standing near the wedding cake, talking to a couple of people. Sonia is there beside him, and she now sees what she missed in the church earlier. Sonia is clearly Skank Factor X.

  Tori notices where Blair’s focused. “That’s Sonia, the Spanish girlfriend. Apparently, she arrived a few days ago. Road brought her over to my mom’s yesterday.”

  Blair lets out her breath. “What’s she like?”

  “You don’t want to know.” Tori pauses then shakes her head. “Horrible.”

  Instead of feeling jealous like she used to, Blair discovers she feels sad for Nathan. He deserves better, even if it’s with someone else and not me.

  The band starts playing a cover of The Romantics “What I Like About You” and Tori reaches over to grab her hand. “Come on, I love this song.” She pulls Blair up from the chair. “Let’s dance.”

  Blair resists at first, but then gives in. Figures why not. She goes out and dances with Tori. By the third song, a couple of young guys, friends of Austin’s, come over and ask each of them to dance. Tori and Blair both say yes, and Blair almost has fun. The guy who asked her is named Jacob. He’s a lot younger than she is, but cute. Tall with dark hair, and a good-humored face. He has a hip-hop style of dancing that keeps making Blair laugh.

  “God, we’re robbing the cradle here,” Tori whispers in her ear at one point.

  Blair shrugs. “Who cares?”

  She still notices Nathan occasionally. Off to the side, he doesn’t dance and mostly just stands there with a stony expression. Sonia is talking to Brody and Kiera, using elaborate hand gestures.

  Eventually, she and Tori stop dancing and tell the two guys they’re going to take a restroom break. The guys want to meet up later, but she and Tori only commit to a ‘maybe.’

  “Let me go find my mom first and check on her,” Tori says. “I’ll meet you in the bathroom.”

  “Okay.” Blair grabs her purse and heads toward the restroom. The band is playing Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me”, though the sound is muffled as she walks down the hall away from the main room.

  After peeing, Blair goes to wash her hands at the sink and winds up standing right next to Marla putting on lipstick.

  “Nice ceremony,” Blair says to her, being polite.

  “Mmm,” is all Marla says, studying herself in the mirror. Queen of her own skank universe.

  Blair smiles to herself. The bathroom door opens and she glances at it, expecting Tori, but instead Sonia comes inside. Sonia’s eyes search the large bathroom, and as soon as she spots Blair, heads straight over.

  Marla is still standing there, and Blair watches with interest as the two women notice each other, wondering what will happen. The clash of the skanks! Will there be a rift in the space time continuum? Will lightning bolts shoot from their eyes and fingertips?

  A battle to the death!

  Blair is disappointed when all the women do is glare at each other and swap bitchy looks.

  Come on, that’s all? Seriously? Heck, I can do better than that.

  If only Fiona were here, Blair muses. She could teach these amateurs a thing or two.

  After Marla leaves, Sonia changes her focus. “You are Blair?” she asks, moving closer, enveloping her in a cloud of astringent perfume.

  “Yes.” Blair grabs some paper towels to dry her hands, wondering what Sonia could possibly want.

  Sonia rakes her brown eyes over Blair from head to toe. Blair recognizes the way she’s doing it. Classic Skank Factor X behavior. Apparently, it’s the same all over the world. Who knew?

  “What is this difficulty you are having with Nathan and me?” Sonia wants to know. She pronounces his name ‘Naytun.’

  “Difficulty?”

  “You are jealous of us? Yes?”

  Blair puts the paper towels in the trash. Sighs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Nathan is trying to get the divorce, but you will not give it to him. Why?”

  “He wants to divorce me?”

  “Yes.” Sonia gives her a superior smile. “You have not seen him for many years. It is finished.”

  “I don’t know what he’s told you, but Nathan has never asked me for a divorce.”

  “But that is why he came back to Seattle!”

  Blair goes still as this piece of news takes her by surprise. Is this really true?

  “He came back to get the divorce from you, so we could be together. We love each other.” Sonia looks at herself in the mirror and starts fluffing her hair out. “Do not make this so big a problem.”

  She stares at Sonia. This had never occurred to Blair before. Obviously, she never wanted a divorce, but it makes sense Nathan would have come back eventually wanting one. He never said a word, though.

  Blair goes back out to the reception, still in a daze, wondering if there’s any truth in what Sonia told her. She doesn’t see Tori and decides to go outside and get some fresh air instead.

  There are a few people out back, most of them smoking, so Blair walks around to the other side of the building.

  To her surprise, she discovers Nathan. He’s standing alone, leaning against the wall as he drinks a beer and looks out at the mansion’s manicured grounds.

  He doesn’t see her yet and Blair stops, unsure of what to do. She doesn’t want him to think she followed him out here.

  Just as she decides to leave and go back, he notices her.

  Blair takes a deep breath and walks over to him. Might as well. Up close and in the light of the late afternoon, she can see he looks tired, though his grim expression isn’t helping matters.

  “Enjoying the party?” he says.

  “I guess.”

  He nods and takes a drink from his beer. “Could see that.”

  She stands next to him, leaning back against the wall herself, wondering what he’s talking about.

  “Who’s that guy you were dancing with?” he asks.

  She glances at him to see if he’s joking, but it doesn’t look like it. “Some friend of Austin’s.”

  They’re both quiet and suddenly there’s so much Blair wishes she could say, everything that’s in her heart, but then it occurs to her. I’ve already said it all. He knows everything. Knows I’ve loved him for years, and this is where it got me.

  “So, that’s the famous Sonia from Spain.” The
re’s a bitter note in Blair’s voice she doesn’t intend. She wonders if she should ask him if it’s true what Sonia told her, but then she’s not even sure if she wants to know.

  Nathan takes another swig of beer but doesn’t reply, just stares out at the landscaped grounds. “How’s Mr. Maurice doing?” he asks.

  “Not good.”

  She feels him turning to look at her so she meets his gaze. Golden-green. Her breath catches. She’d almost forgotten that dazzling color. Her whole life awash in gray since he left.

  “What’s wrong with Mr. Maurice?” he wants to know.

  “He misses you.”

  Nathan reflects on this. “That so?”

  “He blames me for everything. And he’s right, of course, it is my fault.”

  Looking down, Nathan studies the bottle in his hand.

  “But mostly Mr. Maurice sits around all day, glaring at me. Wishing I were you, I think.”

  Nathan chuckles softly. “Yeah, he gets an attitude sometimes.”

  “I should probably just give him to you. He prefers you, anyway.”

  They’re both quiet again as the sounds from the party drift out to them.

  “Fiona told me your place is a mess.” He glances at her. “That true?”

  Blair bites her lip. Thinks about her condo and the chaos she can’t deal with. It’s all too much. Overwhelming. Suddenly, she doesn’t want Nathan to know this about her, though, how he’s brought her to her knees. I don’t want to be an object of anybody’s pity, least of all his.

  “It’s fine. I don’t know why Fiona would have said that.”

  He nods. “Don’t know why, either.”

  Blair stares down at her crystal Jimmy Choos, and Nathan follows her eyes.

  “Been taking selfies of your feet again?”

  “Maybe a couple,” she admits. Blair turns to him. “Did you really come back to Seattle to get a divorce from me,” she tries to hide the quiver in her voice, “so you could marry Sonia?” Apparently, I do want to know.

  “What?” He frowns, but she sees something in his eyes and realizes Sonia wasn’t lying.

  Apparently, Nathan has his secrets, too.

  Someone comes around the corner. It’s Sonia, of course. Skank Factor X always has impeccable timing.

  “Nathan!” she says in her heavily accented English. “Why are you out here?” She gives Blair a once-over then dismissively looks back to him. “Tori is looking for you. There is a problem with your mother.”

  “There is?” Nathan pulls away from the wall.

  “You must come now. Tori asked me to find you.”

  The three of them head back inside. The band is playing Loverboy’s “Turn Me Loose”, a song Blair has always liked, and judging by how many people are dancing, she isn’t the only one.

  Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long to discover the problem with his mom.

  She’s out on the dance floor, very drunk, bumping into people and latching onto every guy she sees. People have stopped dancing around her and are watching the spectacle instead.

  Tori is there, along with some of her cousins, except Lori is pushing them away.

  “Jesus Christ,” Nathan mutters.

  “Get your fucking hands off me!” Lori shoves at Brody, who’s trying to help.

  Tori looks around, her face turning to relief when she spots Nathan.

  “We need to get out of here,” Tori says to him, talking loudly over the music. “She’s wasted.”

  “Mom.” Nathan goes over to Lori, tries to take her arm. “Come on, let’s go sit down.”

  “I’m not done dancing!” she yells, swaying on her high-heeled sandals.

  Blair is amazed she can even walk in them considering her state, but then she’s seen Lori drunk so many times and knows she always manages to stay upright.

  “That bastard left me!” Lori yells. “He can rot in hell while I dance!”

  Tori is looking around in frustration, but then Nathan steps in closer to Lori. He puts his hand on her hip, his other hand out to his side. “It’s okay. Dance with me, Mom.”

  Lori blinks, looks up at Nathan.

  He grins. “Come on.”

  She takes his hand and the two of them start dancing together. Mother and son. The music is fast and loud, but they’re dancing a slow two-step.

  Blair watches the way Nathan dances with her, moving her away from the crowd. People have stopped staring and started dancing themselves again.

  Finally, he gets her to one of the outer tables. By now, Lori is crying. “You understand, don’t you, Road? Don’t you?”

  “Sure, course.” He nods.

  “We need to get her out of here,” Tori says. “Like right now. I’m going to take her home.”

  Kiki joins them, observing her mom’s drunkenness with annoyance. “You and Nathan can’t leave! The photographer just arrived, so we’re taking photos with the wedding party in a few minutes.”

  “Well, we can’t leave her here like this, either,” Tori says.

  “I’ll take her home.” Blair steps forward.

  “No,” Nathan says. “I’ll do it.”

  “You can’t!” Kiki’s eyes are wide with distress. “These are my wedding photos.” She throws her mother an angry look. “God, she ruins everything!”

  “I can take her,” Blair says again. “It’s not a problem.”

  “This is a family issue,” Nathan says heatedly. “No offense, Blair.”

  “Are you kidding? You can’t miss the photographer!” Kiki’s voice takes on a note of hysteria.

  Tori, who’s standing next to Nathan, puts her hand on his arm. “Let Blair take her home. She’s dealt with Mom like this before.”

  “She has?” Nathan’s eyes flash over to Blair. “Since when?”

  “Since you’ve been living out of the country for the past five years. Blair has helped me with Mom a lot.”

  “I see.” Nathan goes quiet, seems to be processing this bit of news. He glances over at Sonia, sitting on the edge of the table, studying her phone and looking bored with the whole situation.

  Tori goes over to their mom. “Blair is going to take you home now. Is that okay?

  “All right.” Lori looks up at Blair and smiles. “That’d be fine, hon.”

  “Come on, I’ll help you get her to the car,” Nathan says.

  And with that, the two of them help walk Lori out to the parking lot.

  “My car is just over there.” Blair points toward her Honda.

  But as soon as Lori sees Isadora in the opposite direction, she makes a beeline for it, dragging them both with her. “I want to ride in my big brother’s car,” Lori insists. “Lance always looked out for me and my kids.”

  He gives Blair a wry look. “Guess you’ll be driving Isadora. That okay? I can pick her up from you later.”

  “Sure, that’s fine.”

  Nathan helps get Lori into the passenger seat. She drops her purse on the ground and when Blair hands it to her, Lori smiles up at her with bloodshot eyes. “Thanks, hon. You’re a sweet girl, always thought so. And I know how much you love my boy.”

  Blair’s brows go up and she feels Nathan stiffen beside her, his hand on the open car door.

  Lori cackles in her drunken way. “You think I never noticed it all those years? The way you look at him? Seen it a thousand times.”

  Nobody says anything for a few seconds, and then finally Blair gives Lori a helpless smile. “You’re right, it’s true.”

  “Of course it’s true!”

  Blair turns to Nathan. There’s a strange expression on his face, one she’s never seen before. He doesn’t say anything, though, just appears deep in thought.

  “Now, where’s my damn cigarettes!” Lori says, rifling through her purse.

  “You can’t smoke in Isadora!” Blair says, and hears Nathan chuckling.

  “Here,” he says, handing Blair the Mustang’s keys. “I’ll come by later to bring you your car.”

  She gives him
the keys to her Honda then climbs into Isadora’s driver’s seat. Sighs a little as she looks around the interior of the car, taking in the faint scent of warm leather seats. I’ve missed you. Just before she leaves, Nathan motions for her to roll the window down.

  “What is it?” she asks.

  He studies her for a long moment. “Thank you for doing this.” Lori starts going on about how Lance never had a problem with her smoking in his car. “She’s lying,” Nathan says softly. “My uncle never let anyone smoke in Isadora.”

  Blair snorts. “Don’t worry, I’ll throw those cigarettes out the window before I let her light one up.”

  Nathan chuckles. “You do that, babe.”

  A FEW DAYS later, and Nathan still hasn’t come by to trade cars. Not that Blair is complaining. In fact, driving Isadora has been helping her mental state so much that she finally started cleaning up her condo.

  “Do you mind if I come by sometime next week and pick up the rest of my stuff?” Blair asks Tori over the phone. “I still have some clothes and a few other things at your house.”

  “Sure, that’s fine.”

  “How’s everything with your mom?”

  “Much better, though she’s still upset about Garth. Thank you again for taking her home from the wedding. You saved the day.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far.” Blair thought Nathan saved the day by getting Lori off the dance floor and calming her down.

  All Blair did was take Lori back to the house, make her some tea, and tuck her into bed. Lori’s hollering and swearing at the wedding reception must have gotten it out of her system, because she was downright docile with Blair. She made more comments to Blair about Nathan. “Was glad when he married you,” Lori told her, drifting off to sleep. “Always thought you’d be good for him.”

  “Have you seen Nathan?” Blair asks Tori. “He still hasn’t brought back my car.”

  “I haven’t talked to him since the wedding. Fiona called me, though, trying to get a hold of him. His book has reached number two on The New York Times best seller’s list.”

  “You’re kidding? That’s amazing.”

  “He’s probably dealing with Sonia,” Tori says with a sigh. “You should have seen her the rest of the night at the reception. All she talked about was herself, her family, and having my brother move to Madrid.”