Respect (Mandasue Heller)

by Mandasue Heller

  He trailed off, but Chantelle knew exactly what he’d been about to say, and it saddened her to think that he was scared she might try to kill herself.

  ‘Don’t be daft.’ She reached across the table and clutched his hand in hers. ‘It’s only money, and I’m angry, not upset. I would never, ever do something like that. Mum might come and go, but I would never leave you. Do you understand?’

  Chin wobbling, Leon nodded and sniffed. Chantelle squeezed his hand. ‘Go on, go back to bed. I’ll be fine. I’m just going to clean up, then I’ll go to bed too. Okay?’

  ‘I can help, if you want?’ Leon offered.

  ‘No.’ Chantelle smiled and shook her head. ‘Thanks, but it’ll help clear my head if I do it on my own. Anyway, you hate cleaning.’

  ‘Yeah, I know.’ Leon shrugged. ‘But you do loads for me, so I should help you, innit?’ He chewed on his lip for a moment now, before adding quietly, ‘Sorry about all that stuff I said, and threatening you with the knife, and that. I wouldn’t have done it really.’

  Chantelle was stunned that he’d apologised, but she guessed she had Anton to thank for that. Whatever he’d said, it had obviously had a massive impact on Leon. It remained to be seen if this change in attitude would last, but even if Leon reverted back to being his usual cheeky self she doubted that things would ever be as bad as they had been lately.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘I really appreciate that.’ Then, grinning to lift the heavy atmosphere, she said, ‘Now piss off and let me get on with sorting this lot out.’

  ‘Ah …’ Leon’s eyes lit up when she cursed. ‘You swore. I’m gonna tell.’

  Chantelle laughed, and waved him on his way. Then, pushing her sleeves up, she set about cleaning up the mess her thieving mother had left behind.

  23

  When three days had passed with no sign of her mum and no answer to any of the texts she’d sent or calls she’d tried to make, Chantelle guessed that they wouldn’t be seeing her again in a hurry. And her suspicions were confirmed when she caught Tracey getting off a bus one morning.

  ‘Before you start, it had nowt to do with me,’ Tracey said, backing away with her hands out in front of her as if she thought Chantelle was about to attack her. ‘I didn’t get any of your money, and I told your mam she was bang out of order for pissing off back to Spain without telling you.’

  ‘She’s gone back to Spain?’ Chantelle hadn’t expected that. ‘I thought they were supposed to be getting married?’

  ‘They did,’ Tracey told her. ‘Yesterday, at the registry office. I was a witness,’ she added guiltily. ‘I didn’t want to do it after what she did to you and your Leon, but she didn’t have no one else.’

  Chantelle snorted, and shook her head in disgust. Then, shrugging, she said, ‘Oh, well … good luck to her. She’s going to need it.’

  ‘Are we all right, then?’ Tracey asked hesitantly, wringing her hands together. ‘You’re not gonna keep having a go at me every time you see me?’

  ‘Wouldn’t waste my breath,’ Chantelle sniped, giving her a dirty look before walking away.

  As a shamefaced Tracey scuttled off in search of a drink to settle her nerves, Chantelle shoved her hands deep into her pockets and walked home, her calm expression masking the fury that was twisting her stomach into a tight knot. Her mum had really outdone herself this time, but as pissed-off as Chantelle was about the money she’d lost she was more upset about her mum abandoning Leon again after having geed him up to think she wanted him to share her new life in Spain. Leon swore blind that he hadn’t wanted to go, but Chantelle knew he’d been excited when the subject had initially been raised, and it hurt to think that their mum had sold him out for money. Money she’d probably already spent, knowing her.

  The bitch had crossed a million and one lines during Chantelle’s lifetime, but this was the last time she would ever get away with it. Even if she turned up tomorrow begging for forgiveness, she was dead as far as Chantelle was concerned. Leon was her priority now – along, of course, with her job, and Rob. She was just glad her mum hadn’t got her hands on the fifty quid she’d made that night, or she’d have been back at square one: worrying how she was going to feed Leon and keep the electric on. Fortunately, Bill had called with another job the very next morning, so she’d known that they would be okay. But she was never going to allow herself to be put in that position again.

  More jobs came in over the following weeks, and Chantelle was relieved when her savings began to grow again. But she was careful to put the money straight into the bank now, wary of leaving it in the flat in case her mum decided to make an unannounced reappearance.

  She didn’t like leaving Leon on his own after everything he’d been through, but they needed the money, so it had to be done. It wasn’t so easy to justify leaving him when she went out with Rob, but Leon insisted that he didn’t mind, and she trusted that he meant it when he promised not to go out or answer the door while she was gone.

  Before they knew it, the holidays were over, and Chantelle sat Leon down the night before he was due to go back to school to have a talk with him.

  ‘I’m not going to nag,’ she said. ‘But I need to know that you’re going to behave yourself. You can’t get into any kind of trouble, or we’ll have the social workers sniffing around again in no time.’

  ‘I know,’ Leon agreed. ‘And I’m not gonna do nothing. I’ll do what the teachers tell me, and if anyone tries to fight with me I’ll walk away.’

  Amused by the sincerity in his eyes, Chantelle smiled. ‘As long as you try,’ she said, sure that it wouldn’t be as easy as he thought it was going to be. He’d always been cheeky, but his defiant streak intensified a thousandfold when he got bored, and he wasn’t the best at keeping his mouth shut once he got started.

  ‘Nah, I mean it,’ he insisted. ‘Anton says I’ll never get anywhere if I don’t do good at school, so I’m gonna do my best this year.’

  Chantelle raised an eyebrow in surprise. She didn’t even know that he’d spoken with Anton again since that day when it had blown up with the gun; but she wasn’t about to object, because his words had obviously hit the spot again.

  ‘Right – you, bed,’ she said, seeing no need to say anything else, because Leon seemed to have got it. ‘Your uniform’s hanging in your wardrobe, so all you have to do is get up when I tell you in the morning, and have a wash.’

  ‘And brush me teeth,’ Leon reminded her, grinning as he headed to his room.

  ‘Wow!’ Chantelle laughed. ‘Never thought I’d hear you volunteer to do that.’

  ‘Anton says girls don’t like bad breath,’ Leon informed her. ‘Oh, and can you get me some Lynx next time you go shopping, ’cos they don’t like BO, neither.’

  Chantelle shook her head in amazement. She hadn’t seen much of Anton herself lately, so she hadn’t really had a chance to speak to him. But she would stop him next time she saw him and thank him, because she doubted that her brother would be being so agreeable without his intervention.

  With everything falling into place at last, the stress began to fall away from Chantelle, and Bill wasn’t slow to notice the change in her.

  ‘That young man of yours is doing wonders for you,’ she remarked as she drove Chantelle home from a job one night a couple of weeks after Leon had gone back to school. ‘Just remember to give me ample warning when you set a date for the wedding, because it’ll take an age to find a hat for Mitzy.’

  Chantelle laughed, but she wasn’t laughing inside. She and Rob were still seeing each other in secret, and she yearned for the day when they could come out into the open, as he kept promising they would. But two enormous obstacles still stood in their way: the first being that Chantelle still hadn’t told Rob the truth about herself. She desperately wanted to, and had tried on a few occasions. But fear of his reaction always made the words stick in her throat, and the longer it went on the harder it became.

  The second obstacle was his wife Yvette who, despite knowing
that he wanted a divorce, was still flatly refusing to move out of the house. Rob had told Chantelle that they had been having furious arguments about it, and her heart went out to him because she knew how much it was stressing him out. He said he felt like selling the house, even though the market had dropped so steeply since he bought it that he’d end up getting much less than he still owed on it.

  ‘I’ll be paying it off for years,’ he said one night as they lay entwined in each other’s arms after making love. ‘But it’d be worth it to get rid of her and be with you.’

  ‘Don’t do anything daft,’ Chantelle urged. ‘She’ll give up eventually.’

  ‘You reckon?’ He snorted softly. ‘She’s already said she’s going to fleece me, but my solicitor reckons she’ll get a fraction of what she’s after, ’cos I’m the one who earned it while she just sat on her arse spending it.’

  ‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it?’ Chantelle asked.

  ‘Yeah, so long as she doesn’t find out about us before it goes to court.’ Rob sighed. ‘If we get landed with a sympathetic judge, and Yvette’s able to prove infidelity, she’ll waltz off with the lot.’

  ‘Well, she hasn’t got any proof, so you’re all right,’ Chantelle murmured, unable to tell him how she knew that his wife had nothing on him.

  ‘Yeah, but I can’t take any chances until it’s done and dusted,’ Rob said. ‘That’s why we can’t come out into the open just yet,’ he added, a regretful look on his face as he gazed into her eyes. ‘I hope you understand, and that you’ll wait for me?’

  ‘Of course I’ll wait,’ Chantelle assured him.

  And she’d meant it when she said it, but it was hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel while Yvette continued to string things out. It was so unfair that she was holding Rob hostage when he was the one who had made an effort to make their marriage work while she swanned off to spas with her girlfriends and treated herself to manicures, pedicures, expensive haircuts and facials. Any guilt Chantelle had once felt about seeing Rob behind her back was long gone, and she now loathed the selfish, greedy bitch with a passion.

  24

  September started out dull but quickly turned into a blazing Indian summer, and Chantelle found herself inundated with jobs in the weeks following Leon’s return to school. All great for her bank balance but not so great for her relationship, as it became more and more difficult to hook up with Rob, who was equally busy. They had been talking on the phone every night, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him, and so Chantelle had been delighted when they had finally found a night when they were both going to be free.

  They were meeting at nine p.m. but Chantelle had started to get ready as soon as she got up that morning. After a long soak in the bath, she’d spent the rest of the day pampering herself: moisturising her skin, curling her hair, and agonising over what to wear.

  She had just applied her make-up and was about to start painting her nails when her phone rang at 8.30, and she smiled when she saw Rob’s name on the screen.

  ‘Hey … I was just thinking about you. Can’t wait to see you.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Rob said apologetically, ‘but I’ve got to cancel. Something’s come up, and I can’t get away.’

  ‘Aw, no,’ Chantelle moaned. ‘I’m nearly ready.’

  ‘And I bet you look gorgeous,’ he said quietly. Then, ‘Look, I can’t really talk right now. I’ve just nipped out of a meeting to call you, and I don’t want any of the guys to come out and catch me.’

  ‘In case they report you to Yvette?’

  ‘Oh, come on, don’t be like that. You know I’d come if I could.’

  ‘I know.’ Chantelle sighed. ‘Sorry, I’m just disappointed that I won’t be seeing you.’

  ‘I’ll make it up to you,’ Rob promised. ‘But I’ve got to go now.’

  ‘When will I see you?’

  ‘I’ll ring you. Ciao for now.’

  Chantelle looked at the phone when it went dead in her hand and willed it to ring again, but it didn’t.

  Leon was watching TV when she walked into the living room. ‘Thought you were going out?’ he said, glancing up at her.

  ‘So did I.’ She flopped down into a chair. ‘But it looks like I’ll be watching telly with you again. What’s on?’

  ‘Top Gear.’

  ‘Great.’

  They sat in silence for a while, Leon’s gaze riveted to the action on the screen, Chantelle staring right through it. She was gutted that she wouldn’t be seeing Rob, and wondered if this was how Yvette had used to feel when she’d accused him of working too hard. But where she had used it as an excuse to nag him, Chantelle would never do that to him.

  ‘Chan … Chan!’

  Chantelle heard Leon call her name and snapped out of her thoughts. ‘What?’

  ‘Your phone’s ringing. You’d best hurry, or you’ll miss it.’

  Chantelle leapt up, ran into her bedroom and threw herself across the bed. Scared that it was about to cut off, she snatched up the phone and answered without looking to see who was calling. ‘Hello, Rob …?’

  ‘Ah, so Prince Charming has an actual name, does he?’

  Chantelle grimaced when she heard Bill’s voice. ‘Er, no, I thought it was my mum’s boyfriend,’ she lied, praying that her boss wouldn’t put two and two together. ‘He called earlier, but she was out, so he said he’d call back later.’

  ‘Oh, well, sorry to disappoint,’ said Bill. ‘But we’ve had a last-minute booking – if you’re free?’

  ‘What, tonight?’

  ‘If you can manage it? I know it’s incredibly short notice, so I’ll understand if you can’t.’

  Chantelle wasn’t really in the mood. But she was already dressed up, so she figured she might as well put her efforts to good use.

  ‘It’s fine. What time?’

  ‘Nine,’ Bill said. ‘And thank you. You’re an angel.’

  Chantelle gritted her teeth as an unwelcome memory of Miguel popped into her mind. That was what he had called her on the day he’d tried to have sex with her behind her mum’s back, the sleazy pig. Still, he was gone now, so at least she would never have to see his greasy face again.

  Rob had just finished his call and pulled his jacket on when Yvette walked into the bedroom and flopped down on the bed.

  ‘You look nice,’ she said tartly. ‘Hope she appreciates the effort.’

  ‘Don’t start,’ Rob muttered, reaching for the comb and turning to face the mirror.

  ‘Oh, so you’re trying to tell me you get dressed up like this for your male friends?’ Yvette raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Do I tell you how to dress for business?’ Rob asked, slamming the comb down on the dresser when he’d finished and turning back to her. ‘But then, you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, seeing as you haven’t lifted a finger since I put that ring on it.’

  ‘I do a lot, actually,’ Yvette retorted indignantly. ‘Who do you think keeps this house going while you’re swanning around playing Mr Big?’

  ‘The cleaner,’ Rob sniped, snatching his cigarettes off the dresser and striding towards the door. ‘Don’t know when I’ll be back, so—’

  ‘Don’t wait up,’ Yvette mimicked sarcastically. Then, rolling her eyes in disgust, she reached for the bottle of wine that was sitting on her bedside table and sloshed a large measure into the glass that was sitting beside it.

  Rob glanced back at her from the doorway and shook his head before walking out. She’d been drinking a lot lately and was obviously starting earlier by the day, because she was often stoned when he came home from work in the evening. She denied she had a problem but he thought otherwise. Still, there was nothing he could do about it right now, because he had more urgent things to deal with.

  He was supposed to have been taking Julia out tonight, but had been forced to cancel at the last minute after a phone call from Adam telling him that Perry had turned up at the unit demanding to see him.

  Out in his car now, Rob cal
led JT on his mobile as he waited for the gate to slide shut behind him.

  ‘I’m coming for that thing that was dropped off the other day,’ he said cagily when his call was answered. ‘Make sure it’s ready.’

  ‘Might take a while,’ the woman on the other end of the line said. Then, ‘Hang on a minute …’

  Rob grimaced at the sound of her coughing up what sounded like a year’s worth of phlegm. ‘I’ll be there in half an hour,’ he said when she’d finished. ‘And get yourself some Benylin, for fuck’s sake. You’re going to lose a lung at this rate.’

  He rang Adam now and asked, ‘Have you got any of that stuff left?’ When he got an affirmative, he said, ‘Right, well, fill your flask, then take Perry down to the club. Keep him sweet, and don’t tell him where you’re going till you get there in case he makes a call. I’ll be there in an hour.’

  He cut the call now and set off, but as he turned onto the road, he sighed when he caught a glimpse of Yvette silhouetted at the bedroom window. He’d been a bit rough on her lately, so it was little wonder she’d been drinking so much. There was nothing he could do about it right now, but once this business with Perry was sorted he would treat her to something nice. Maybe a holiday or something sparkly, to let her know that he did appreciate her, even if he didn’t always show it.

  The pub where tonight’s suspect was supposed to have been going was dead when Chantelle arrived at 9.15, and she felt uncomfortable as she noticed the few people who were there casting hooded glances in her direction. It was a dark, dingy place, and she was completely over-dressed, but she had a horrible feeling that her clothes had nothing to do with the way they were looking at her. She suspected it was because she was black, and her sense of unease increased as she made her way to the bar and ordered a drink.

  Chantelle had grown up in a multicultural community so she hadn’t really experienced overt racism before. Her instincts were screaming at her to get the hell out of there, but she told herself that she was just being paranoid and tried to push the feelings aside as she took a seat in a quiet corner.