Shaedes of Gray: A Shaede Assassin Novel

by amanda bonilla

  “If Azriel is shacked up with the Lyhtans, maybe there’s a displaced leader. Maybe he’s the one who wants you dead.”

  It sounded far-fetched, but I was willing to pursue any angle if it meant getting Delilah back. “What do we do, then?”

  “Find out if there’s a disgruntled leader out there and arrange a meeting.”

  Oh, fabulous. That sounded like a ton of fun. “Ty,” I said. “How fragile is Delilah? I mean . . . could they—”

  “Don’t worry,” he said, a sad smile offering assurance. “If we’re right, they don’t want to hurt her, just use her as a crystal ball. Besides, she’s not as breakable as she looks. Meet me at The Pit tonight around ten. Okay?”

  That didn’t seem like the best place to start looking for a Lyhtan king, but I wasn’t about to question Tyler anymore. “I’ll be there.”

  The typical throng of people hadn’t yet lined up outside the door, giving Tiny little to do. Inside, the club wasn’t much busier; only a few regulars hanging around, drinking their evening away. Tyler sat waiting for me, in my usual corner, but tonight he wasn’t alone. Levi sat with him.

  I took a seat next to Ty. He brushed his hand along my arm, squeezing as he settled on my hand. I pulled away. There was no such thing as PDA at a business meeting.

  “So, what’s up?” I asked.

  Ty looked a little crestfallen. I sighed. I was sure we’d have it out later. For some reason, he had a hard time differentiating between us in public and us in private. They were all one and the same to him. It might have had something to do with the bond Delilah talked about; he had been a lot more touchy-feely lately. In fact, I felt a little more tuned in to him as well. He put me at ease just by being near. Had we been bonded all along these past five years? He’d made me feel safe since the night of my first job when we sealed our business relationship with a handshake and a silver ring. I hadn’t thought about it, but perhaps something as simple as skin-to-skin contact had prompted Ty to bind himself to me. Or maybe it had been that first kiss outside Xander’s warehouse, because I hadn’t felt the same since that night. And like every other piece of knowledge I’d had to fight for these past weeks, I was going to make Ty spill his knowledge as well.

  “Levi is what you might call a liaison,” Tyler said, breaking me from contemplative thoughts. “He’s a go-between for the natural and supernatural worlds.”

  That’s the understatement of the century, I thought. Levi was a walking supernatural encyclopedia. “Well, Levi,” I said. “What’s the word?”

  He smiled at me, a very genuine expression on his frat-boy face. I fought the urge to ask him if he was late for a kegger.

  “There’s a lot going on right now,” Levi said. “There’s talk of war between the Shaedes and Lyhtans. Many beings have their eye fixed to the outcome. It could mean change for more than just the parties involved.”

  “What about the Lyhtans?” I asked. “Do they have a leader who’s been kicked from his throne or something like that?”

  “They don’t generally live that way,” Levi explained. “Lyhtans are wild, lawless. They’re solitary. Every once in a while you’ll find them moving in packs, groups not much larger than ten. There’s no real leadership hierarchy, no pecking order. They don’t follow.”

  I looked at Ty and gave a silent shake of my head. We weren’t getting anywhere.

  “Have you heard of a Shaede who is banding the Lyhtans together?” I asked Levi. “Named Azriel.” And did I mention I need to kill the bastard?

  “I have,” he said. “Like I said, they don’t usually follow, so this Shaede must be promising the world to get them on board for his campaign.”

  “What do Lyhtans want?” I asked. “What could he use as a bargaining chip?”

  “They’re tired of hiding,” Levi said. “They want to be more like you.”

  Acceptance. That’s what the Lyhtans wanted more than anything. They wanted to blend in with the human population and pass as something close to normal.

  “How?” I asked no one in particular. “How could he promise that? How does he think he’ll give that to them?”

  “Who knows?” Tyler chimed in. “It could be just a bunch of lies he’s telling them to string them along. Otherwise, we’re in for a shit storm of trouble.”

  “Because they’re nasty fuckers,” Levi added. “If they can come and go as they please, blend in with the general population, they’ll cause all sorts of chaos.”

  Tyler and I exchanged a knowing glance. “Is there any Lyhtan who might not like that?” I said.

  “I’m not sure,” Levi said. “I can look into it—for a nominal fee—but I would think they’d all be pretty excited by the prospect. If there’s anything to find out here, I’ll find it.”

  We left, no better informed than we’d been when we entered. Frustration built up inside me like bubbles against a champagne cork. I wanted to kill something, just so I had an outlet to vent my anger. Ever the voice of reason, Tyler discouraged me from violence, convincing me it would only be counterproductive. It would’ve been in his best interest to keep his mouth shut. He was still pretty high up on my shit list, and I could just as easily release my anger on him as anyone.

  Tyler made himself at home on my couch while I changed for another training session. My anger had been mounting, and I’d continued to suppress it. Much easier to do when we weren’t alone. But, damn it, it pissed me off that the one person I trusted had pulled the wool over my eyes. The more I thought about it, the more my blood began to boil. Now was as good a time as any to broach the subject of Ty’s true nature. In fact, I’d put it off for far too long.

  “How does this work?” I asked, lacing up my boot. Keep it nonchalant. Don’t bite his head off. “Delilah said you’re bonded with me. What the hell does that entail?”

  The twinkling light faded from Tyler’s eyes and his mouth tightened into a fine line. Apparently, he wanted to discuss this just as much as I did. “Can’t you just accept that I want to protect you and leave it at that?”

  Um, no. If one more person tried to keep me in the dark, he was going to lose his head. “You mean just eat every spoon-fed bite of your bullshit? No, thanks. I think I’ve had my fill.”

  “Darian—”

  “Do you think I’m stupid? Weak? Incompetent?” My ire rose with every word. “Do you have any idea how humiliated I feel? Five years! Five fucking years I’ve known you. And you let me act like a complete fool. You knew there were others. Shit, you were one of them! Why didn’t you just tell me? Did you get off on seeing me alone and disconnected from everything? I threatened you, for Christ’s sake! I called you human, like it was a dirty word or something.”

  Tyler’s eyes held mine, showing a depth of emotion I was afraid to believe. “I was trying to protect you.”

  “Oh, really? From what? And did you ever think about asking if I wanted your protection? No. You just bound yourself to me.”

  “Darian, with Jinn, the urge to protect is like instinct. But with you, I feel the need twice as strong. And you, being the tough girl you think you are—there’s no way in hell you would have submitted to the binding and let me become the protector that I had to be. You’ve always thought you could take care of yourself with no help from anyone. So I hid behind a normal-guy persona. I did what I had to do. It was beyond selfish of me, but I refuse to apologize. Yes, I kept the supernatural world from you. There are bigger and more dangerous things than Lyhtans and Shaedes in the world. And you would’ve taken them all on. Single-handedly. I couldn’t risk your safety. I knew if I kept you focused on humans and human business, you’d be relatively safe.”

  I wanted to hate him right then but I couldn’t. I did feel safe and protected when I was with him. And something deeper still. He’d been my lifeline to the world, even though Azriel’s teachings had dictated I remain detached. Tyler had my back, no matter what. And I knew he’d never disappear in the middle of the night without a word. That was worth more than my ange
r and frustration. He didn’t deserve an ass-chewing, but he took it—because he knew it would make me feel better.

  “There are rules to this binding.” All the fire had left me, and nothing remained but smoldering embers. “I know that much. And I want to know what they are.”

  “Okay.” Tyler’s voice, soft and husky, sent chills dancing across my skin. “In my lifetime, I can only choose to form a bond three times. I can choose to create the bond, but you have to choose to break it. Once it is broken, it can never be remade.”

  Three times. I wondered if he’d done this before. He was older than Delilah, and she’d been walking the earth for at least a thousand years. Could I perhaps have been lucky number three? “What about the wishes?” I abandoned my humiliation, the anger. We’d had it out and it was time to move on. Besides, Raif was going to kill me if I was late. I slid a dagger into the sheath at my thigh and another into my boot. “How do those work?”

  “There’s a moral code, more or less. Even I can’t change some things. You can only wish for something you need, never for something you simply want.” Tyler stretched out his hand, counting points on his fingers as he spoke, “You can’t wish someone dead—or alive. And you can’t wish for wealth. Extra abilities are out of the question as well, like flying or breathing underwater. I can’t alter the paths Fate and nature have chosen for you.”

  That little statement earned a snort of derision from me, but Tyler continued, ignoring my sarcasm.

  “You are forbidden from wishing away the bonds between others, and I cannot grant you love.” His eyes burned into mine when he said it, and I averted my glance, afraid of what else he might say. “The timeline can’t be altered, but I suppose that falls in line with fate. You could never wish to change the outcome of any event. And I can’t give you what someone else has. But I can swear to do my best to help you if you need it, and vow to protect you until you no longer need my protection.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? God, Ty, how could you do that?”

  The look of shame that flashed across his face helped to further cool my fiery emotions. “I wanted to tell you. So many times. But I was afraid you’d bolt if you knew the truth. I didn’t want to be the one to disillusion you.”

  “You did, though,” I said. “Just like the rest of them.”

  “I know.” His voice was barely a whisper.

  “How long?” I asked. “How long have you been bound to me?”

  Tyler’s lips hinted at a smile. “Not long after I met you. Almost five years.”

  Sonofabitch! For five years, Tyler had been secured to me like a snail on a rock and I didn’t even know it! Was I the most clueless woman on the motherfucking planet—or what?

  “How?”

  “The binding is a gift,” Tyler said, his voice as smooth as cream. “And it’s not one I give lightly. Please just accept it and leave it at that.”

  I worried at the ring on my thumb, twisting it in a full circle. I traced the engraving on its surface, the hulking beast whose form I couldn’t identify. This binding wasn’t the first “gift” he’d insisted I accept. I took the katana from where it was mounted above my mantel and flung it across my back. “I’m going to be late meeting Raif, and, frankly, my brain fucking hurts. Don’t lie to me again. Ever. Please.”

  His eyes answered for him, his expression honest and full of emotion. I won’t, it said. I promise.

  I left Tyler at my studio—he refused to leave—and met up with Raif shortly after midnight. He tapped the flat of his sword against the sole of his boot. My tardiness was sure to spark a beating. I saved my neck by convincing him to bypass training for another Q and A. Like Levi, he didn’t have any more information or insight. I was ramming my head against a brick wall.

  “So much to worry about,” he muttered. “Like I don’t already have enough on my plate.”

  I assumed his plate was full of me, but I didn’t ask.

  “There’s a Summit to take place in a few days. The timing is inconvenient, but it might work to our advantage. Xander will more than likely ask for help if this situation becomes . . . uncontrollable.”

  Summit? Huh. “What kind of Summit? Like a Shaede Summit?” Then Levi’s Hamlet quote sparked in my memory, and I rolled my eyes. I. Am. Such. An. Idiot.

  “There’s more, isn’t there?” I asked. “More than Shaedes, more than Oracles and Jinn. The world is crawling with other supernatural creatures, and we’re not so few in our numbers. Are we? We are not alone,” I said in a spooky sci-fi voice.

  “Alone?” Raif said. “Whoever filled you with that rot?”

  Azriel.

  “There is a large and thriving supernatural community. For the most part, we get along just fine,” he continued without waiting for my answer, thank God. “Just like any human political body, we meet, talk, bring our concerns to a public forum. Vote. We’re not uncivilized, you know.”

  “I know,” I said like a schoolkid being scolded by her teacher.

  “At any rate, this information about your Oracle and the Lyhtans is helpful. Thank you, Darian.”

  Raif had become extremely interested in Levi’s theory. He wanted to bring it to Xander’s attention before the Summit. He’d never considered the possibility that simple jealousy had been the motivation behind this political coup. He was actually a little smug about it.

  “Our lives are so much easier because of our looks,” he mused. “We do not have to hide in the daylight hours when we are restricted to our humanlike forms. We can pass through society virtually unnoticed, and it allows us to live a life of ease and prosperity. Wouldn’t you agree, Darian?”

  “Sure, whatever. It makes sense anyway. But it doesn’t answer my questions. Does Azriel want me dead or not? And did he take Delilah?”

  “I think he wants you dead. I don’t agree with the Jinn’s assumption. From a warrior’s standpoint, you are a liability. And liabilities must be disposed of. I do not believe Azriel is harboring any tender feelings.”

  “Wow, Raif. You’re a true romantic,” I said. I agreed with Raif, for what it was worth. I believed Azriel wanted me dead. Kill or be killed. But something else stuck in my craw. We appeared so hard to kill, and yet so easy. There were rules that governed our deaths, but we weren’t as invincible as I’d always assumed. Fathers, sons, mothers, daughters, husbands, wives, the maker and the made . . . all of these relationships intertwined to form an intricate web of death. The more you tied yourself to someone, the more they held dominion over your existence. Azriel sat between Xander and me. Either one of us could deliver the blow that would send him into the shadows for eternity. And as for the gray hours . . . I still couldn’t wrap my head around those boundaries.

  I put the matter of death’s silly rules on the back burner, and instead shifted my focus to Delilah. She wasn’t a part of this war. Merely an unfortunate victim caught in the middle and used for the gain of either side. I’d used her as my own personal seeing-eye dog, and whoever took her had plans even bigger still. Tyler said she wouldn’t be so easy to break. But I knew better than anyone that there are things in this world worse than dying.

  Raif promised to look into the matter of Delilah’s disappearance, but I didn’t exactly think he’d stop the presses to do so. His first priority was keeping Xander in one piece, and he would be hard-pressed to weaken his king’s defenses to investigate an Oracle’s kidnapping. No matter what she might be or how his enemies would use her.

  “I met an Oracle once,” Raif said, offhand, as he stowed his battle gear. “She wasn’t much to behold, but she was powerful.”

  “Did you ask her a question?” I said.

  “No,” he said. “I wasn’t willing to make the sacrifice.”

  “What did she ask you for?” My curiosity piqued. I couldn’t imagine what Raif could value so much.

  “She asked for the death of my wife,” he said gravely. “Our child had gone missing, and we were beside ourselves trying to find her. I went to the Oracle, and she
requested my wife’s life in return for information about our daughter’s future. I refused. Illiana was the most precious thing in my world, and I would not give her up.”

  His story leaned farther toward the deep end than I’d anticipated. Poor Raif. I couldn’t imagine him, so hard and proud, lowering himself to ask for help.

  “What happened?” I whispered.

  “Illiana could not forgive me for not making the sacrifice. She said she would have given anything to know our daughter’s fate. She expected the same from me. She went to the Oracle and sacrificed herself.”

  Wow, Tragedy, party of one. No wonder Raif was such a pain in the ass. “Did you ever find out what happened to your daughter?”

  “No.”

  “What happened to the Oracle?”

  “I killed her.”

  An awkward silence passed. Comforting words seemed trite, so I kept my mouth shut.

  “An Oracle is good for nothing,” he said, piercing the silence like a sword thrust. “They are tricksters and deceivers. I don’t think Azriel would want to kidnap yours. She has nothing to offer him anyway.”

  Raif grabbed his sword and slung it over his back. I let him leave. Once I was sure he was long gone, I turned out the lights and headed home.

  Chapter 15

  I walked back to my studio with memories of Raif’s tragic story for company, alone and more confused than ever.

  Careless, I’d stayed longer at the warehouse than I should have. Dawn approached, and I wasn’t sure if I’d make it back to my apartment before the sun rose. Not that it would matter. I wasn’t any safer there than I was here on the street. Delilah was gone, so I was down one set of eyes. My vulnerability wasn’t limited to a set time or place.

  I’d almost made it home when I heard the strange scratching sound of many sets of insect feet. The sun had just crested the horizon, a sliver of orange light. The sound followed me for a few blocks, and around me I heard the whisperings of a strange language, words that meant nothing to me. Quickening my pace, I tried to ignore it, at the same time trying desperately to manage a facade of calm. The scratching sound continued, coupled with a second set of voices to join the first. I turned, and my heart jumped up into my throat. Glittering in the morning light like perfectly cut diamonds, a horde of tiny insects scurried toward me. Beetles—no, miniature man-tislike bugs—they zigged and zagged, quickly covering the distance between us. My tiny assailants sounded like an army, their outer shells ticking against one another while so many different tones of voice called out around me. No one had mentioned this little tidbit of info. Not only were they invisible in the light, but the fuckers could also reduce their bodies to tiny, innard-sucking bugs? Might have been nice to know! The sound of their many voices pressed on my ears, almost deafening. Lyhtans they were, for I couldn’t mistake those voices. But I’d never seen them in the light of day, disguised for all intents and purposes like little exotic insects. Levi owed me a fifty. He’d left out this very important slice of information. One by one, their physical forms glittered into nothing and they became again the invisible foes I’d known. And as I reached into my pocket for what felt like the thousandth time, I found myself without the bottle of black sludge. Unfortunately, now wasn’t the best time to find faith in its ability to repel a Lyhtan attacker.