Don't Worry, Life Is Easy

by Agnes Martin-Lugand

  He took a barstool and carried it next to the door. He climbed up on it and took down the little bell.

  “You can’t leave without something to remember us by…”

  I broke down and threw myself in his arms, letting all the tears flow I’d been holding back the past few days. Felix held me in his arms.

  “I can’t face taking you to the airport tomorrow.”

  “It doesn’t matter, because I don’t want you to come.”

  We were whispering.

  “What time is your taxi?”

  “Seven in the morning.”

  “Leave the keys in the studio. Lock up one last time.”

  He stood up, took me by the shoulders and looked straight into my eyes.

  “Bye, Diane!”

  “Felix…”

  He let go of me and walked out into the night. One last look through the shop window and he was gone… I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand before taking the set of keys from my pocket. First job: lock the door. Second: turn the sign over. Third: put the notice in the window “Under new management.” Fourth and final: turn off the lights. The bright streetlamps allowed me to see my café as if it were daytime. I’d chosen everything here with Colin, it was a part of me, even if I’d neglected it for a while—for too long—and I’d grown up in this place. When I came back—if I came back—I’d no longer recognize the place; it would have to change. The new owner had a very strong personality; he’d want to make his mark… That was normal; I wouldn’t have a say in it. I strolled around the shelves, overflowing with books: well organized and ready to be bought. Then I went behind my counter and stroked the wood: sparkling clean. I put back a few glasses that were out of place. I straightened out the pile of accounting books and orders and the board with the photos. Then I stopped in front of the coffee machine, and smiled to myself, remembering the day I’d given Felix hell for not being able to clean it properly. I wanted to make myself a coffee but didn’t; I knew I wouldn’t enjoy it; it would taste reheated. I preferred not to remember my last one; that would remain a vague moment, suspended in time, with the background noise of the customers, Felix’s laughter, the sounds from the street. It was time. I went through the back to the staircase. At the doorway, I stopped, closed my eyes and breathed in deeply—the smell of the books, coffee, and wood. Flashbacks, bits of memories rushed through my mind. I closed the door without opening my eyes, concentrating on the creaking hinges. Despite all my efforts, they had never stopped creaking. The click of the lock made me start: it was over. Happy People Read and Drink Coffee was going to live on without me…

  Epilogue

  I’d been living in Mulranny for over three months. I felt more and more at home with every passing day. My life seemed easy now, natural, I asked myself more questions and took the time to fully live, without regrets. I thought about Happy People every day, and it would be a lie to say that I never felt a pang in my heart, but it always passed very quickly. The idea of opening a bookstore was brewing in my mind… But there was no hurry.

  I was on the phone with Felix. Impossible to get a word in! He kept thinking about the actions and behavior of Frederic, who kept him stewing for days and days. My best friend was smitten, and it was really the first time it had happened to him; he was the very picture of a teenager going through his first love.

  “I can’t take it anymore, I swear… last night, I was sure he was finally going to make a move… then nothing, he left me standing outside my front door!”

  “So why don’t you make the first move?”

  “Huh, I don’t dare…”

  I raised my eyes to the heavens, stifling my mad laughter.

  “Don’t you go and make fun of me!”

  “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself…”

  The front door closed behind me and I looked over my shoulder; Edward had come home from his assignment, soaking wet from head to toe. He dropped his equipment heavily to the ground and threw off his coat, grumbling. Then he noticed me and walked over, his face still looking tense. When he got to the couch, he leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, sighing. “Felix?” he whispered in my ear. I nodded. He gave me a little smile.

  “Hey, Diane! Did we get cut off or something?” Felix shouted into the phone.

  “Sorry, Edward just got home…”

  “OK… Got it… I’ll call you back tomorrow.”

  He hung up right away and I dropped my phone next to me. Edward still hadn’t moved, one arm on each side of me, leaning against the back of the couch.

  “I’m really starting to think I scare him… He cuts your conversations short as soon as he knows I’m here.”

  “No… he just doesn’t want to bother us… And besides, I speak to him on the phone almost every day, so…”

  Edward stopped me talking with a kiss.

  “Hello,” he said, after he’d stopped kissing me.

  “I didn’t hear you leave this morning… how was your day? Did it go well?”

  “Perfect. The weather was just what I needed for what I wanted to do.”

  “Is that why you’re in a bad mood?”

  “More than usual?”

  “No,” I replied, laughing.

  He kissed me again before standing up straight. Then I got up, too. He put on a dry sweater before helping himself to a coffee.

  “I’m leaving in five minutes to pick up Declan,” I said.

  “Do you want me to go?”

  “No, I have to stop by to see Jack afterwards, and I have some shopping to do.”

  He came over to me, stroked my cheek and frowned.

  “Are you tired?” he asked.

  “No… how could I be?”

  “If you say so,” he replied, not at all convinced.

  He took his soaking wet pack of cigarettes from his pocket and went outside to the porch. I slipped on my coat to join him. I clung on to him. Edward regularly had moments of panic when he feared I’d regretted my decision.

  “Don’t worry… I’m fine; I’ve never felt so good.”

  I looked up at him; he was watching me, a harsh look on his face, as ever. I stroked his chin, let my fingers play through his beard; he grabbed me by the waist, pulled me against him and kissed me passionately. His way of saying that he was afraid of losing me. I couldn’t understand how he might still fear that… I replied to his kiss with all the intensity of my love. I moved away from him, smiled, stole the cigarette he had in his hand, and took a few puffs before putting it back between his lips.

  “See you soon!” I sang as I walked away.

  He groaned. I walked through the kitchen, grabbed a package from the fridge, and picked up the car keys.

  A few minutes later, I double-parked in front of the school, just in time: the children were coming out of class. I could see Declan’s messy hair in the middle of the other children. He pushed his friends aside and ran towards me. He was afraid of the same thing as his father: that I’d suddenly disappear.

  “OK, champ?”

  “Yes.”

  “Come on, hop in!”

  When we got to Jack’s, we found him sitting in Abby’s rocking chair, his newspaper folded on his lap, staring at the fire in the fireplace. He aged a little more each day; the cause of his lack of energy was becoming more and more apparent. The winter and the Christmas holidays had aged him by ten years. I was the only one he talked to about how unhappy he was; he knew I’d understand. I loved the time we regularly spent together, just the two of us. I went to see him at his house several times a week. Even though he complained, he let me put the place in order and prepare him some meals in advance. I wanted to force him to fight. I knew such a thing was selfish, but I wanted to spare Declan, Edward, and Judith, at least for a while. We all needed him. My greatest ally was this little boy who jumped all around the living room, asking him when they could go fishing again together.

  “On Sunday, if you like,” he replied.

  “Really?”

  “Yes! D
iane and your father have some things to do,” he said, winking at me.

  I gave him a kiss on his chin and went into the kitchen to organize the food I’d made that morning.

  “Do you need anything?” I asked, once I was sitting next to him. “We’re going to do some shopping. And I need to stop in at the pharmacy, so tell me.”

  “No, I have everything I need. But don’t dawdle. The weather’s bad tonight.”

  “You’re right! Declan, are you ready? Let’s go.”

  The next morning, my eyes started to flutter open when I felt a kiss on my lips. Edward was leaning over me, smiling; he was looking at my face, his hands wandering over my body.

  “What do you want to do this weekend?” he asked in his hoarse, sleepy voice.

  “Sleep…”

  “Stay in bed, then. I’m getting up.”

  “No.”

  I clung onto him, forced him to lie down again, and pressed my body against his, rubbing my nose against his bare chest. He didn’t try to fight me, just held me tight as I sighed with satisfaction. I started kissing him all over, gradually climbing on top of him, and his hands over my body became more eager… Then we heard Declan’s footsteps in the hall and the dog’s yapping.

  “I’ll go,” Edward grumbled, “I’ll see if I can get Jack to let Declan sleep there tonight.”

  “Good idea…”

  He got out of bed, picked his jeans off the floor and pulled them on, then went out into the hall, making sure that no intruder got into our room. I spread out on his side of the bed and dozed for nearly an hour.

  When I finally decided to get up, I took longer than usual in the bathroom. Before coming out, I looked at myself in the mirror, stifling my laughter, tears in my eyes. I went downstairs, shaking slightly. Declan was stretched out on the floor, playing with his car set. When he saw me, he leapt up and jumped on me. I gave him a big hug, like I did every morning.

  “Diane, I’m going to sleep at Jack’s tonight!”

  Edward hadn’t wasted any time.

  “Are you glad?”

  “Oh, yes!”

  He went back to his game, without taking any more notice of me. I poured myself a coffee at the kitchen counter and looked lovingly around. Declan was playing, relaxed, serene, like any little boy of his age. Postman Pat was snoring, his paws in the air in front of the fire in the fireplace. From the bay window, I could see Edward on the front steps, watching the sea, smoking a cigarette, pensive and at peace. My heart swelled with happiness. I’d come so far, we all had. We’d succeeded in creating a happy family out of broken, shattered people, and all was well… I took my coffee and went over to the man for whom my heart skipped a beat and with whom I shared everything from now on—everything and even more. Our eyes met and I gave him a smile that could move heaven and earth.

  “Are you OK?” he asked.

  “Yes, great, actually…”

  Like every morning, he threw me his pack of cigarettes. I stared at it for a long time. Then I opened it, got a fix from the smell of the tobacco, closed my eyes, and threw it back to him.

  “Are you sick?”

  “Absolutely not…”

  “Don’t you want a ciggy?”

  “Of course; I’m dying for one.”

  “Well then, what’s wrong?”

  Still smiling, I moved closer to him and snuggled up in his arms.

  “I have to stop smoking, Edward…”

  Thanks

  To Roxana and Florian, who gave me the support I needed to dive into this sequel; you stimulated my desire to write…

  To Estelle, my editor: your advice, attention, and tactful and sophisticated way of giving me your remarks will remain engraved in my writing.

  To Guillaume… there is so much more I want to tell you, but it can’t be written here… you had to embrace my exploration of Ireland; you made the sacrifice of being cold and drinking Guinness and whiskey there! I can tell you this now, even if I leave Diane to live her life without me from now on, we’ll go back there…

  To you, my readers, I am grateful and honored by your words, your encouragement, and your smiles…

  To La Belle Hortense, for having given us the keys and allowed us to have a magnificent photo session there. The picture of Diane was taken in the place that inspired Happy People…

  To Diane, the tiny little woman who came out of my imagination four years ago… you pushed me to write and gave me the gift of being an author… You will always have a special place in my heart…

  Also by Agnès Martin-Lugand:

  Happy People Read and Drink Coffee

  (Les gens heureux lisent et boivent du café)