Pieces of You

by J F Elferdink

  Mark felt that asking ‘Why not?’ would only reinforce Zachri’s argument for the visit so he changed his tactic.

  “What evidence could you offer to convince me of a way back? Even ten more years of life would be worth the frequent pain and rarer joys. Janine needs what I can give; financial stability, health care insurance and opportunities to explore the world - all the things she currently does without. Most of all, I think she craves my love, although possibly not as much as I need hers.

  “Mark, think about this: you’ve glimpsed the future she will be forced to live in. Living in it with you will not change what’s to come—collapse of the social order. Universal human rights will become only a memory, one that will make most of the world’s population wish for the good old days, even those who have known hardship intimately.”

  “I get that. But if the future looks so wretched and if God is truly omnipotent, why doesn’t He prevent these things from happening?”

  “Mark, you seem to want all human errors to be magically erased. Do you believe that, when your world gets too ugly, your Creator should just hit the “restart” button as you do in your video games?”

  “When you put it that way, it sounds like a rather childish suggestion: ‘don’t make us take responsibility for our actions.’”

  “Very good! You explained Divine justice, but there is another facet to Divinity—love. Love is visible in Divine intervention, in the spirit world connecting with yours. It will become clear; I promise! It can’t be fully understood until you take part. Be patient.”

  “Are you sure you’re not an angel, Zachri? I’m pretty sure you belong on their side but if you’d show me your wings I’d be fully convinced. I’m only joking! Remember the story you told me about the purple gown and wings? Are you sure your home base isn’t what prophets and poets describe as Paradise?”

  “Oh, you mean the place where I store my wings when they’re not in use or when they need to be cleaned!”

  “All right, tour guide and occasional comedian; I wouldn’t mind a glimpse, but only a brief layover, into this future.”

  “You still don’t understand, Mark. Unlike man’s linear perception of time and space, true existence – beyond the physical - spans past, present and future simultaneously. ‘Heaven’ is already here but much of its beauty is hidden for now. A day is coming when the Earth will be restored and renewed and your liberated world will know our peace.

  You will understand it with your first step behind the veil that separates the earthly from the ‘heavenly’. Shall we go?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Mark was stunned by his own response. He’d always been an intensely rational man but he couldn’t stop, especially after he felt something gently removing his panic as though it were his coat.

  In the next instant Mark was transported through the ultimate mystery to an experience radically new yet tinged with the familiar; a place of purity, peace, vibrant colors and dramatic energies.

  “Can you describe what you are seeing and feeling, Mark?”

  “Busyness. How astonishing! I see beings doing a great variety of activities, all with a look of pure contentment. This is beauty beyond belief. I see colors that are indescribable, light-reflecting brilliance that bathes everything in splendor but also beauty in every creature, the breathtaking kind associated with cherry blossoms at their perfection or the setting sun’s transformation of earth and water. Describing it requires words I never learned.

  “Then there’s Power. I feel a force that is nothing like the competitive strivings within social structures. It is a powerful assurance that what is desired is happening because it should and, therefore, this energy is a completely uninhibited, natural force.”

  Mark was gazing around himself, entranced.

  “What else? Interdependence: I’m feeling entirely unique and absolutely necessary to every other being. It makes me feel loved, the way you and Bob described love. If only people could know an infinitesimal amount of this love, no dictionary would include the words ‘conflict’ or ‘war’ or ‘hate.’

  “I admit I never understood the word ‘perfection’. Perfection is everything I observe and sense. I want to worship this flower, that melody, the taste of the water in this fountain, you, Zachri!”

  “You are tasting heaven, the seventh heaven Christians refer to as ‘the dwelling place of God and His angels’ and to which others give several names, including, for example, Nirvana.”

  Zachri led Mark to a high hill which they climbed with the ease of being carried in strong arms. Looking down, Mark saw a world in motion.

  “I would never have conceived of the busyness of the inhabitants of Heaven. I thought their only act was worship.”

  “It is, but most humans think worship is something distinct from work. Bringing your gifts to the altar—using your talents productively—is the vanguard activity of worship. Think of how you feel when you give a gift or a compliment. Think of how you feel—after you overcome the uneasiness—when you receive a precious gift or sincere compliment. Now eliminate all the mental and physical barriers to doing exactly and only what you love most. How often would you choose work defined that way over idleness?

  “If this was your environment and you were interconnected with other passionately-engaged souls who had previously crossed over, think of the potential impact of any assignment! Are you willing to consider this option for being part of Janine’s life in an extraordinary way?”

  With Zachri’s question lingering in the air, Mark found himself alone, insulated in a layer of velvetiness with nothing to divert his attention from his thoughts.

  ‘I wonder if I’m inside a cloud. It is as comforting as when I stretch out in my warm bed just before falling asleep.

  ‘What am I supposed to do? Why did Zachri have to show me such a stark future? And then he shows me an afterlife that is perfect, sweeping away the image that I’ve held of heaven being a lovely, boring place, with no end to the loveliness and the boredom. Obviously, he is directing me to something but why? And why make it seem like I have options? Whoever heard of a human saying “No, I won’t go!” when the angel brigade comes to collect a soul?

  ‘If I have the choice, I will go on living; I don’t want to be anywhere Janie isn’t. However, what if Zachri said was true? What if, in heaven, I would have the power to reduce her suffering? This is not a decision a human should be asked to make!’

  32

  FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES

  As Mark rested there, falling into unconsciousness—or rather into the utmost level of super-consciousness—his past came marching up. Some of its most significant characters slowly crossed to the center stage of his mind, vying for his attention.

  The first to stand in that magical circle were his parents. Mark quickly realized that they were not performing for him; he was watching them through what seemed like a keyhole into some other dimension, observing those dear faces he had missed for ten years, witnessing them totally engaged in what they were doing.

  His dear Mother was surrounded by young people in what was clearly a classroom. The whiteboard hanging at eye level and enclosing the scene gave that away. Strangely, the board was hanging in space with no visible attachment to any surface. Another unusual thing about this classroom was the setting: all present were seated or standing in a breathtakingly beautiful grove and music, excerpts from the best of the classical 18th century masters, penetrated the air! A gentle breeze carried the subdued but fragrant combination of lilacs and honeysuckle to his nostrils, tinged with a hint of Shalimar, his mother’s favorite perfume.

  She looked so happy, so content. Wide-eyed scholars only rarely diverted their gaze from his mother to the mix of wild and tame animals that played among the trees and vegetation. Looking at the eager students, Mark interpreted a collective mood of wonder and discovery, obviously fostered by their classroom.

  After what seemed like just a few minutes, although he couldn’t tell—Mark thought he could ha
ve watched this scene forever—his Father, a professor by profession, took his mother’s hand and looked directly at Mark. When they saw that they had his complete attention, they said:

  “We will help you teach them how to be liberated.”

  The next person to appear within the circle of this stage was Bob. He seemed to be working in a field that spread beyond the visible horizon. Youthful, muscular and radiating health, his friend seemed to be having the time of his life.

  Mark had spotted Bob’s affinity with nature when they were in Vietnam. Here he was working among plants in an indescribable range of varieties and colors.

  Shortly, Bob and the other agriculture workers dropped their tools, turned off their robotic-looking equipment and picked some of the ripened fruits and vegetables. Laying the produce between them, they took bottles of wine, loaves of bread and what appeared to be filleted fish from baskets lining the field and then expressed their thankfulness, not with bowed head and closed eyes as Mark had been taught, but looking toward the horizon where Mark could faintly see the outline of a cathedral.

  While most of the multiethnic group ate and chatted gaily, Bob and a few of his friends turned their attention to Mark.

  “We will help you teach them to live at peace with each other and with nature.”

  The words rang in his ears as the best friend of his youth faded from Mark’s consciousness.

  The stage was almost empty now. The last to appear in the circle reminded him of the little Vietnamese child he had watched being airlifted from the war zone. He had always wondered about her. Had she survived? Did she hate all Americans because one had killed the man trying to pull her to safety? Did she know that the American’s outfit had rescued her? She had occasionally inhabited his more wretched dreams ever since that day.

  The little girl was not doing anything, just sitting on a homespun sled, staring at him, a scene reminiscent of her place in Mark’s memories. He stared back, taking in her little arms that were now strong and healthy, not charred as he had seen them poking out from the brush that had concealed her.

  She looked beautiful; an angelic face on a perfectly proportioned child’s body. The look of agony was purged, replaced by adoration, and something else. Something Mark identified as wisdom far beyond her years.

  “If you are that girl, why am I thinking of you now?”

  Mark had to ask because she didn’t fit into the same category as the others: people he had loved dearly and whose deaths had caused him great sorrow.

  “I never knew you except for at that moment. If you are here, does this mean you died of your wounds? That would grieve me. I had hoped our rescue would give you a chance for a better future than growing up in the aftermath of a war-shattered country.”

  The little girl spoke directly to him. “The American military presence in Vietnam brought extensive changes, mostly bad but a few, constructive. I was not one of the Vietnamese you hoped to rescue from Communism. I never needed your help, not even when you thought I might die from my injuries. My future was assured from the beginning.

  “You see, I am and always was an angel. We take human form when it’s the easiest way to fulfill our assignments. When Zachri summoned me, he understood that an innocent child could more effectively demonstrate the result of war’s dark shadows. Appearing to be a child of your enemy, I helped you make a connection between childhood innocence and adult choices.”

  She paused for a moment to allow Mark to assimilate her statement and then spoke again.

  “Having introduced myself, I will explain why you’re seeing me now.

  “Those in my branch take special pleasure in guiding and mentoring humans who cross over without first having severed ties to family and friends. A slight connection between the spiritual and physical worlds can be preserved for a time, with our help. We can show you how to intervene when your loved ones are vulnerable.”

  “Little girl, or whatever you are, how could I accept what you say you can do? All that has happened to me since I lost consciousness does not happen to humans. Someone would have written about it or movies would have been made describing other human encounters with heavenly beings. I must be either dreaming the most complex dream I’ve ever had, or…”

  The child remained silent, allowing Mark to continue.

  “And yet…I do believe! Something has changed in my way of thinking about what is true and what is real. I always needed proof, but these journeys seem to be the most real things that have happened to me…with the exception of meeting Janie. The probability of that happening was so slim and we didn’t have much time together before I was stricken. But I have no doubt our love is real.”

  The child remained still and silent, giving Mark’s words her full attention.

  “Tell me, please, how do you and your kind intervene without overriding free will? Doesn’t intervening on behalf of humans refute what makes us distinct from other creatures?”

  The angelic child smiled faintly and spoke at last.

  “Nothing can alter Divine promise but the unlimited supply of Divine resources is always accessible. Be assured, we cannot stop people from choosing their primitive passions over their humanity. Our intervention is only ever brought about by request.

  “You may remember reading Bible stories where God even approved requests that seemed to alter portions of a decree, but your Maker never changed a covenant promise and would never agree to a request that would bring about mediocre results.”

  “Good! You obviously don’t need me up here. I will leave it to you to alter the future you showed me, the one where we would live as slaves of the people on the hill.”

  She shook her head.

  “You are needed, Mark! Janine won’t foresee this. She will not understand the consequences of decisions, her own or those of world leaders—until it’s too late to effect crucial changes.”

  “So what you’re saying, little angel girl, is that my foreknowledge is needed for her to make the kind of requests you can fulfill. Why can’t I carry this knowledge back with me?”

  “Mark, a resurrected man can commune with the uncountable others in this spiritual realm but cannot know what’s in the minds of living human beings. You never could discern what someone else was thinking, even though once or twice you thought you had a glimpse. That is not part of the human condition.

  “We who were always in the spiritual dimension can do that, although we are not capable of understanding human emotion since that has never been our experience. As partners, we can direct activities that promise a more peaceful and freer world.”

  “I cannot decide this alone. I must see Janie again and talk to her about this. Are we to live together, sharing the same bed, the same heartaches and ecstasies, or exist in parallel universes, caring but never again touching?”

  ***

  The next thing Mark was aware of was boarding a train. It reminded him of the one he had taken to Geneva when visiting Martin, a few days or a few lifetimes ago; he couldn’t be sure. Or was he now returning to Geneva, whole again? He prayed that wherever he was headed, it would include his long-awaited reunion with Janine.

  Mark strode quickly down the middle aisle of each car in the bullet train until he found his seat, noticing numerous vaguely familiar faces along the way. Taking the window seat assigned to him, he felt her presence before he saw her.

  Janie was here, right next to him! Her arms tenderly encircled his body and there was passion and security in their touch. This was what he had been desperate for. Love was the key to every option.

  33

  HIS CALL

  Janine had given up trying to figure out why she was seated on a train or where it was supposed to be taking her and had started to read the various placards within her range of vision. Some bore advertisements for vacation destinations, designer accessories and luxury hair care products and others bore inspirational quotations.

  Although she found herself unable to focus on the contents of the placard neares
t to her seat, she somehow knew exactly what it contained.

  “For love is as strong as death. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” (Song of Songs 8: 6, 7)

  In retrospect, she might have known what would happen next but, looking up, she caught sight of her beloved, to her total amazement. She exclaimed with unconcealed joy, “My darling, Mark, you’re here for my birthday! My prayers have been answered! I have missed you so. There were moments when I thought I’d never see you again.”

  She had to pause and just drink in his appearance.

  “You look wonderful to these starved eyes. Handsome and radiating health!”

  Mark was gazing at her with undisguised adoration.

  “I’ve never felt better or more peaceful. Just seeing you sets off surges of indescribable pleasure! Let me just hold you. I’ve longed for this; to press your body into mine and taste the sweetness of your mouth.”

  All the questions in her mind were overridden by the insistence of her body, but the seating arrangement took over where her will power had left off. By the way Mark looked intently at her and then into the distance, she could tell that there was something he was struggling to share.

  While Janie speculated about a poetic speech, Mark beseeched heaven for words that would make her understand.

  Looking into her eyes while gently stroking her cheek and neck, he began:

  “My dear one, my bride; are you still committed to being my final partner?”

  Janine’s look told him everything he needed to know, even before she replied, “Certainly, dearest Mark, although I’d like a traditional ceremony so that we can make that commitment in front of witnesses.”

  “I want that, too, if we’re given the time. Right now, I need to share some of what has happened to me. I felt like I was letting you down because I couldn’t come to you these last few days. Be assured, it was only because it wasn’t in my power. I don’t know how to begin to explain what I’ve been through. I’m sure it will sound bizarre coming from a person diagnosed as comatose but I’m telling you, with absolute sincerity, that it all seemed very real to me. In my spirit I relived significant events of my life before I knew you and even had the opportunity of looking into a future with you.”