Gift of Honor

by Alexa Aston

  “You and Hal are two halves who will make a most perfect whole. You will be as Geoffrey and I. As Hal’s siblings are. Alys and Kit. Ancel and Margery. Edward and Rosalyne. You will come to know each other better than any two people in the world. You will rejoice together in good times and cling to one another in bad. You will make love with a fierceness that frightens you and then so tenderly you fear you might shatter in two. But never be afraid, Elinor. Hal loves you and because of that, all the de Montforts will, too.”

  Elinor sucked in a long breath and slowly expelled it. She tried to understand everything Merryn de Montfort had said. That Hal loved her. That his parents and family approved of the match. It didn’t matter that she was a falconer. Hal loved her.

  He loved her.

  Elinor had never known love from another. She hadn’t really believed in its existence, though her heart told her she loved Hal. And now to hear that her love was returned?

  Merryn released her shoulders and cupped her face. “Hal went to Whitley to claim you. He sent word to us that you’d left there. He’s been searching for you ever since.”

  Guilt washed through her. If Hal had gone to Whitley, then he would know of her role in killing Rohesia Swan. How could she tell Merryn that her son didn’t hunt for her because he loved her—but because he wanted to see justice meted out. As a knight, his code of honor would demand it.

  Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. Elinor rolled away from Merryn and buried herself in the covers.

  Merryn stroked her hair tenderly for a few minutes and then said, “It is a lot to take in. You need to rest. I will be back in a few hours with something for you to eat.”

  The noblewoman left the room. The door softly shut.

  Elinor threw back the linen sheets. She couldn’t face Hal, now that he’d been told that she was a murderess. She needed to escape Winterbourne and go as far away as possible so that he would never find her. Glancing down, she saw she wore something soft and feminine, something so unfamiliar that it tore her heart asunder. Once she had possessed fine clothes such as this. Once she had been a member of the nobility.

  That part of her life was over. She could never go back. Elinor ran a hand along the fabric, knowing she couldn’t keep it. She eased from the bed, gripping the post to steady herself. Her faded clothes lay folded in a chair. She stripped off the chemise—that’s what it was called—and folded it neatly, leaving it on the bed. Dressing in her tunic and pants, she felt less vulnerable.

  She must escape this castle without being seen. Elinor opened the door and crept down the hall.

  Don’t think of Hal, she told herself. Find a way out.

  Scotland. That’s where she’d go. She would travel as far north as she could and leave England behind. Leave Hal behind.

  Leave her broken heart.

  *

  Despondency filled Hal as they rode the last league to Kinwick. He and the band of soldiers had searched for weeks now, to no avail. They were no closer today to finding Elinor than they had been when he’d first discovered her missing from the cottage in the clearing.

  His men had proven supportive of the quest but he could see now how weary they were. His plan was to take them home to get a hot meal in their bellies and return to their duties at Kinwick. He would ask his father for new soldiers—even more than before—and fan out again in different directions. A part of him agonized that the time and manpower would be wasted. That the new search for Elinor would again be fruitless. She had disappeared.

  If she had, he didn’t know if he could go on.

  The castle appeared in the distance and Hal picked up the pace, allowing his horse to gallop freely. He sensed the anticipation building in the soldiers behind him, knowing they were happy to return home. They passed workers in the fields who waved a welcome to them, ready to see their friends and loved ones return home, and various soldiers returned the greetings.

  Only he was miserable as they approached the castle walls.

  Hal guided his horse to the side, allowing the ten men to ride past him as he slowed to a trot while the others picked up speed. He dreaded having to tell his parents he hadn’t succeeded in locating Elinor. The gates opened and the Kinwick men rode through them. He followed reluctantly.

  When he arrived at the gates, though, the gatekeeper signaled him to halt.

  “You’re to wait for Lord Geoffrey, Sir Hal,” the man informed him. “Those are his instructions. Hold fast.”

  Hal wondered why his father would want him to linger at the gates instead of heading to the stables to water and feed his horse. Moments later, he heard the sound of hoof beats and spied his father riding toward him from the outer bailey.

  Pulling up alongside Hal, he said, “Elinor has been found.”

  “What?” Disbelief took hold of him. He’d traveled far and wide without discovering a clue to her whereabouts.

  “She arrived at Winterbourne a few days ago,” Geoffrey explained, “looking for work as a falconer. She took ill and collapsed so Johamma sent for Merryn. But Elinor is alive, Hal. She’s waiting for you there.”

  Hal whipped his horse around and raced like the wind down the road, kicking up the dust. He couldn’t reach Winterbourne fast enough. He wondered if it could really be true that Elinor had found her way to him. Part of him refused to allow his hopes to be raised, only to be dashed. He’d lived with too much disappointment the past month. Yet he knew his father wouldn’t have told him of her presence unless he was certain. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw his father gaining on him. Geoffrey de Montfort gave him an encouraging nod.

  Faith. He must have faith. That Elinor was truly at Winterbourne. That whatever illness which had possessed her had been vanquished by his mother’s healing touch. Hal uttered a prayer under his breath, over and over.

  Let it be her, Dear Lord. Let her be fine.

  They reached Winterbourne and the gates opened since they were expected. Hal and Geoffrey flew through them side by side, arriving at the keep minutes later. He leaped from his horse as a stable hand took the reins.

  “He’s been ridden hard and needs special care,” Hal warned.

  “Aye, my lord.”

  The two men hurried inside the keep. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light inside, Hal spotted his mother coming from the great hall, a tray in her hands.

  “Hal!” she called, her brilliant smile warming his insides. No one had a smile like Merryn de Montfort. She’d given it to him when he’d first walked. When Raynor had put Hal’s first sword in his hands. She’d beamed at him on the day he took his oath to become a knight. And now she smiled upon him, knowing he would soon be reunited with the women he loved.

  He rushed to embrace her, tray and all. “She’s here?” he asked eagerly, his heart beating rapidly.

  “She is. Oh, she is so lovely, Hal.”

  “But is she well?” he demanded. “Father said she’d been ill.”

  “She has passed through the worst of it. I fear she hadn’t eaten much in a long time. She needed food and rest.”

  Something flickered in her eyes. “What’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?”

  Merryn sighed. “I fear I have done something foolish. I hope you won’t be angry with me.”

  “Mother, you’ve nursed Elinor back to health. I could never be angry with you.” He paused. “Tell me.”

  She handed the tray to her husband and took Hal’s hands. “When Elinor came to her senses, she was unsure of her surroundings and somewhat frightened. I called her by name and told her that she’d called your name over and over. When I explained that you were my son, it made her so happy to know you’d reached home safely. But when she found out you were the son of an earl, all the color drained from her. I did my best to reassure her that she had nothing to fear. That you loved her. That we would love her because you did.”

  Hal knew why she was upset. “And you realized I had not told her of my feelings.”

  She nodded unhappily. “You should have been the o
ne to tell her that, Hal. I stole that moment from you. It should have been a private time of joy between you. I am so sorry.”

  He hugged her tightly, brushing his lips against her hair. “You have no need to worry, Mother. I will tell Elinor again and again how much I love her for the rest of our lives. So many times a day that she will grow weary of hearing it. She will see me coming and run the other way,” he teased.

  Hal released her. “Where is she? I cannot wait any longer. I have to see her.”

  “Come with me.” She motioned for Geoffrey to follow them with the tray. “She’s in the blue room.”

  The time for waiting had ended. Hal ran up the stairs to the second floor. He’d fostered for years at Winterbourne and was familiar with every inch of the estate. Knowing exactly where the blue room lay, he arrived at the chamber’s door long before his parents did. Without bothering to knock, he flung the door open and stepped inside, ready to kiss Elinor until she fainted from all the attention he lavished upon her.

  Elinor was nowhere to be found.

  He rushed about the room, turning in circles. Mayhap she had gone to the garderobe and would return at any moment. He saw a chemise lying on the bed and picked it up. Bringing it to his nose, he inhaled deeply.

  The cloth smelled of her. Hal clutched it to him.

  His parents entered and paused. His mother’s puzzled look alarmed him as she glanced around.

  Without her speaking, Hal knew the truth.

  Elinor was gone. Again.

  Chapter 21

  Elinor struggled to stay on her feet. Her stomach gurgled noisily as she fought her drooping eyelids. Each step became more of a struggle as she made her way through the thick woods. Stopping by a large tree trunk, she leaned against it and closed her eyes a moment.

  Leaving Winterbourne had been easier than she’d expected. She’d spied a cart carrying a bed of straw and waited for the driver to pass her. Expending every bit of energy she possessed, she’d hurried toward it and thrust herself into the back of the wagon, falling into the sweet smelling hay. Elinor lay still a moment before pulling some of the straw over her to disguise she was in the bed. She could see above her and watched the clouds passing by in the sky. When they approached the wall, she covered her face with hay, hoping no guard on the wall walk would notice her, especially since their job was to keep threats outside the castle’s walls. They passed through the gates without being stopped.

  After lying there a bit longer, she pushed the hay aside and sat up. The driver looked straight ahead, whistling a tune to himself. Elinor scooted to the end of the cart and hopped down, quickly diving into the woods before anyone might spot her. She decided to keep to them instead of the road for now but weariness began to overcome her. Forcing herself to push away from the tree trunk, she continued through the dense forest with no end in mind.

  She hadn’t a clue how long she’d walked when she reached a small structure. Elinor came into a clearing and saw what she gathered was a hunting lodge by its size and shape. The baron had one at Whitley. Though she’d never been inside it, she had passed it many a time when she lived with Jasper. It wasn’t hunting season now though it would be soon. Elinor decided to take a chance and go inside. It was starting to grow dark and she had no desire to spend the night in the cold, black woods.

  Finding the door unlocked, she pushed it open and entered. Looking about, she saw it had a couple of rooms to either side of the door and a staircase leading to a higher floor. She wandered about and found a barrel with some apples in it. Greedily, she ate one and then gobbled down another two before her stomach started aching. Deciding to explore upstairs, she found a bed. Her hands stroked the soft linen sheets, which were as fine as the ones she had awakened upon at Winterbourne.

  Might this be the Earl of Winterbourne’s hunting lodge? Elinor had lost track of direction and the distance she’d traveled and this bed looked inviting. Despite knowing she should move on, her body rebelled, especially now with her belly full. She doubted the owner would be using his hunting lodge tonight. She would sleep here and continue in the morning.

  Elinor pulled back the sheets and climbed into bed. At least her clothes had been washed and mended while she’d been ill so she wouldn’t dirty the sheets. She pulled them up to her chin and then curled on her side as her head sank into a feathered pillow. Fighting to stay awake a moment to enjoy the utter bliss of being in a cozy bed, Elinor lost the battle and fell into a deep sleep.

  *

  “Why would she leave?” Hal asked, his heart wrenching.

  “I cannot say,” his mother replied. “She did cry a great deal. I thought she shed tears of relief once she knew she was in a safe place and that you would soon return to her.” Her mouth turned down. “I’m not so sure now.”

  He couldn’t imagine why she’d vanished. Elinor had been told he was coming home to her. That he loved her.

  Is that why she fled—because she discovered that he loved her?

  Impossible. They were meant to be together.

  “Do you think ’tis because she’s a commoner?” Geoffrey mused. “Mayhap, she was intimidated when she learned of your background, Hal,” he suggested.

  Hal raked his hands through his hair in exasperation. “That wouldn’t be an obstacle,” he shared. “Elinor Swan is the daughter of a baron.”

  “What?” his parents cried in unison, surprise on their faces.

  “I thought her of lowly birth. The adopted daughter of Jasper, the falconer, until my recent trip to Whitley,” Hal said.

  Quickly, he explained what he’d learned from Father Leo and Eunice, the longtime Whitley servant.

  “So instead of mourning the wife who died in childbirth and comforting his frightened daughter, this baron exiled Elinor merely because she wasn’t a son?” Anger and disgust filled his father’s features.

  Merryn placed a hand on her husband’s arm. “Geoffrey, not all men are loving fathers such as you. Many noblemen care little for female children.”

  Sorrow crossed Geoffrey’s face. “My heart goes out to this future daughter of ours. Elinor will be loved. By her husband. His siblings. The two of us. I cannot imagine how she felt growing up in total rejection. Knowing who she’d once been and losing all she’d ever known.”

  “It gives me even greater respect for her,” Merryn proclaimed. “To have remained strong and believed in herself. To have become a falconer, which takes years of hard work and dedication. Elinor is as accomplished as any noblewoman I’ve known. Even more so.”

  Hal adored how his parents already championed Elinor. Their steadfast belief in him and Elinor together would see him through now.

  “When was the last time you saw her, Mother?”

  “About two hours ago.”

  “She can’t have gotten far. Not in her weakened condition.”

  Geoffrey spoke up. “I’ll have Hardie send men in all four directions. They can ride two leagues out and then slowly work their way back toward Winterbourne. Surely, they’ll come across her. I’ll see to it now.”

  After he left, his mother said, “I know better than to ask you to wait here for Elinor’s return.” She kissed his cheek. “Go, my son. Find your one true love and return her safely.”

  Hal left the keep and went for his horse. Mounting it, he rode to the gates. The gatekeeper saw all who passed. He might have a clue where Hal could start to look.

  “Who has left the castle grounds in the past few hours and not returned?” he asked the man.

  The gatekeeper scratched his chin, his eyes scrunching up in thought. “John, who oversees the workers in the fields. Our blacksmith. He went to the village but he should be back soon. No one else, my lord.” He paused. “Oh, wait. A cart full of hay bound for—”

  “Thank you,” Hal interrupted.

  He had his answer.

  Elinor was clever enough to have disguised herself using the hay to remain hidden in order to make her escape. He kept his horse at a trot, heading through Winterb
ourne’s gates. She wouldn’t have stayed long in the vehicle, not knowing its destination yet she wouldn’t have left its cover too soon.

  Glancing about, he spoke aloud. “She would have taken to the woods.”

  He slowed the horse to a walk, his eyes sweeping the ground, damp from last night’s rain. There had to be a sign of her progress. And then he found it—a bent branch.

  He steered the horse toward it and saw footprints. They led him to a tree near the road before they continued into the woods.

  Hope flickered within him as he began his search. Methodically, Hal tracked Elinor to a place familiar to him—the de Montfort hunting lodge. It lay at the most northern part of their estate, closer to Winterbourne than Kinwick.

  His gut told him Elinor sheltered inside.

  Riding into the clearing, he saw no sign of her outside. Hal dismounted and secured the reins of his horse. Slowly, he walked toward the door, anticipation building inside him. He recalled how his parents came to the lodge every year for a few days, always in August. They went alone and never failed to return looking more deeply in love than when they’d left. Hal had asked Alys once about these annual visits. His sister had given him a mysterious smile and merely said the place held special meaning to them. They went every year to rediscover and repledge their love to one another.

  Mayhap, this safe haven for them would also prove to be his and Elinor’s place of salvation.

  Hal entered and softly closed the door behind him, not wanting to startle her. He searched the bottom floor and decided she had to be upstairs. He moved up the steps, not wanting to face what would happen if he didn’t find her there.

  His breath caught in his throat.

  She was here.

  Silently, he closed the chamber door and went to stand beside the bed where she slept. Raw emotion overcame him, causing him to shake as if he’d come down with a fever. He blinked back tears while he stared at the angelic beauty curled upon her side. Hal knelt next to her, assuring himself she was flesh and blood and not some figment of his imagination as he watched her breathe in and out.