by Hannah Ellis
“You might enjoy it,” I told her.
“Morning!”
I turned to see who had spoken. It was Angela, arriving with her boys, Zac and Harry.
“You coming too?” Zac asked Hailey, who nodded in response. “Come with me if you want.” He didn’t wait for a reply, but turned and beckoned her with a flick of the head. She gave me a weak smile and followed him, shaking Emily off when she tried to hold her hand.
“See you later,” I called, but neither of them looked back.
“They’ll be fine,” Angela said. “You got time for a cuppa?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, thinking I would do anything to avoid going back to Ruth. “I’d invite you to our place, but Ruth’s there.”
“Come to mine,” she offered. “I’ve got cake.”
“Sold!”
I followed her to her car.
Ruth called me to find out where I was before I’d finished my coffee at Angela’s. I politely told her where I was, feeling like a teenager who’d stayed out past her curfew. She offered to cook for us, but I said I would fix something when I got home.
“She might actually drive me crazy one of these days,” I told Angela when I hung up. Reaching for my fork, I tucked into the carrot cake she’d put in front of me.
“I’m sure she means well,” Angela said. “But I don’t envy you. She does like to have her nose into everything.”
“She just seems to make everything more difficult. She thinks she’s doing me a favour by cooking and cleaning, but it just makes me feel like it’s not really my house. I took the girls to McDonald’s the other week and then got in trouble because she’d made lasagne.”
“I’m always thankful that my mother-in-law is a safe distance away and she doesn’t make any unexpected visits.”
“You’re lucky,” I said. “Hailey told me today she wants to change schools. I think I’m supposed to convince Adam and Ruth.”
“Do you think Adam would go for it?”
“Probably not. He tends to go along with what Ruth says. She really thinks the private school is best for Hailey, but I’m not convinced. She doesn’t seem to have made any friends.”
“I was surprised Ruth didn’t want her in the local school. It must be so hard on her, though. I bet keeping busy with the girls is the only thing that keeps her going.”
“I know. I have to remind myself daily to be patient with her.”
“I don’t know how you do it,” she said. “Everything – not just putting up with Ruth. It can’t be easy.”
“We manage.”
“Do you want another cuppa?”
“Go on, then. If I’m not in your way.”
“Not at all. You’re keeping me from a mountain of washing which I’m quite happy to avoid.”
We ended up chatting all morning and suddenly it was time to pick the kids up again. I apologised for outstaying my welcome, but Angela insisted I hadn’t and she was glad of the company.
We walked into the community centre together. Emily came running up to me with a mask she’d made out of a paper plate which vaguely resembled a lion. I asked where Hailey was, and Emily pointed to the back door which led out into a field. Through the window I could see Hailey chatting to another girl while Angela’s son, Zac, kicked a ball around them. Hailey suddenly darted forward and kicked the ball away from Zac, laughing as she did so.
“Looks like they’re having fun,” Angela said. I nodded, unable to speak. I couldn’t remember seeing Hailey laugh so freely.
“That’s Imogen Webster with Hailey,” Angela told me. “She lives next door to us. She and Zac are fairly inseparable.”
“Hi!” Hailey said when they came running inside.
“Hi. Did you have fun?”
“Yeah, it was good.”
I waved to Angela while I herded the girls out of the door and back up the road to home. They chatted about their morning, one on each side of me, oblivious to the fact that I couldn’t process two conversations at once. I nodded along, catching the odd sentence from each of them. Apparently the holiday club wasn’t so bad after all.
Ruth was gone when we got back, and the kitchen was as clean as I’d ever known it.
“Where are my colouring books?” Emily asked, sitting at the kitchen table. This was the trouble with Ruth cleaning up for us. We inevitably spent a long time searching for missing items. I’d often asked Ruth if she’d moved something and she’d swear blind she’d not touched it, then I’d find it in a completely random place. Hailey got especially annoyed when Ruth put her clothes away in Emily’s room or vice versa.
“Gran must have tidied them up,” I said. “Let’s have a colouring book hunt!” I made a game of it and we finally found the missing books in Emily’s bedroom, which was annoying since Emily loved to sit and colour at the kitchen table when I cooked – and Ruth knew that.
I decided not to get annoyed by it and instead enjoyed the rare tranquillity in the house. We had lunch and the three of us watched a movie before I suggested Emily and I do some baking. Hailey surprised me by helping too. After we’d made a disgustingly rich chocolate cake, we made spaghetti Bolognese for dinner.
Adam looked pleased when he came in and found the three of us laughing in the kitchen. We had the radio on and were singing and dancing and being a bit silly.
“Hi!” He picked up Emily and danced her around before moving over to give me a kiss. “What’s going on here?”
“We cooked dinner,” Emily told him.
“And chocolate cake,” Hailey said, running her finger along the sticky icing on the side of the cake and licking it.
“Hey!” I cracked a tea towel in her direction and she jumped out of the way, laughing.
We had the nicest dinner that I ever remember us having together. Sitting around the kitchen table, the girls told Adam all about the holiday club. Adam even chatted about the TV show he was working on, which made me realise we didn’t talk much any more. It was rare for me to hear anything about his work.
After dinner, the girls disappeared into the living room, leaving Adam and me to tidy the kitchen.
“Do you want a glass of wine?” he asked, taking a bottle of beer from the fridge.
“No, I’ll wait until the girls are in bed and then I can relax properly.”
“Shall I read to Emily?”
“No, it’s fine,” I said. “I’ll do it.”
He grabbed my hand when I finished loading the dishwasher, pulling me to him and kissing me.
“Dinner was great,” he said.
“It was, wasn’t it?”
“That’s a bit modest,” he said teasingly, nuzzling my neck.
“You know what I mean! Now get off me – I need to get Emily bathed and into bed.”
“Good plan.” He flashed me a boyish smile. I gave him another quick kiss, looking forward to the girls being in bed so we could spend some time together.
I’d been lulled into a false sense of security by the nice day I’d had with the girls, and had let myself be optimistic about bedtime. I called to Hailey to get ready for bed while I helped Emily out of the bath. I wrapped her in a towel and ushered her into her bedroom, where she put on her pyjamas before I read her a quick story and kissed her goodnight. When I tiptoed across the room, her eyes looked so heavy I was sure she’d be asleep within moments.
I was wrong.
“Lucy,” she said when I reached the door.
“Yes, hon?”
“Does Mummy know I’m going to holiday club and not school?”
“Yes, she knows,” I whispered, hoping that would be enough.
“Does she still love me?”
I moved back to sit on the edge of the bed. “Of course. She’ll always love you. I told you that.”
“I forgot.”
“Don’t forget. Never ever forget!” I said in a sing-song voice and tickled her, hoping I could distract her. I wanted her to giggle and fall into a peaceful sleep.
“Can we go outsid
e and say goodnight?” she asked.
I pulled back the curtain slightly, revealing a hazy sky. “The clouds are hiding the stars,” I said.
“Can we wait until the clouds go away and then go outside?”
“Okay. Let’s wait. I’ll lie with you and we’ll wait.” I snuggled beside her, watching the sky through the window, certain she’d fall asleep any moment.
I was wrong again.
“What are you doing?” Adam asked when I carried Emily downstairs an hour and a half later. I’d just nodded off when Emily nudged me and told me she could see stars.
“She wants to look at the stars for a minute,” I told Adam.
“It’s time for bed, Emily,” he said, stroking her hair. “You should’ve been asleep ages ago.”
“I want to say goodnight to Mummy.”
Adam gave me a look. The look said he disapproved but didn’t want to cause a fuss. He didn’t like Emily’s fixation with stars. He’d told me as much once; he thought it was confusing for her, and unhealthy. He’d never made an issue of it, though, just let me get on with it. The look he gave me was yet another thing that made me feel I had no clue what I was doing. It was true, of course. I had no idea.
We were only outside for two minutes before Emily fell asleep on my shoulder. She opened her eyes when I tucked her back into bed, and asked me to stay with her. I lay down, pulled the duvet over both of us, and didn’t stir until morning.
Chapter 9
“I’ll walk the girls down, if you don’t mind,” I said to Ruth the next morning. “I think it’s good for me to meet some of the other parents. I never get to know anyone since it’s always you dropping Emily off and picking her up.”
She looked surprised. It had taken me a while to come up with this excuse. Hailey was adamant she didn’t want to be dropped off by her grandmother, though, and I didn’t want Ruth to be offended.
“That makes sense, I suppose. Did you have a nice time with Angela yesterday?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Oh good, you’ve put some washing on,” she said when the machine started its noisy spin cycle. “I can stay and hang that out for you, and then stick another load in. You don’t want it getting on top of you, and it’s a lovely breezy day – it’ll dry in no time.”
I focused on my coffee, taking deep breaths and worrying that one day I might just bite my tongue right off.
Hailey made a beeline for Zac and Imogen as soon as we reached the community centre. Emily spotted her school friends and was off without a second glance at me. I waved at the two women in charge and then hung around to say hello to Angela, who was talking to another mother near the doorway.
“Morning!” She smiled warmly when she saw me and finished her conversation with the other mum. “How are you this morning?”
“Fine,” I said. “Apparently I’m in mortal danger of the washing getting on top of me, but apart from that everything is good!”
“Oh dear.” She chuckled. “Was Ruth over again this morning?”
“Every morning,” I said. “I must have been an awful person in a previous life!”
“Come for a jog with me,” she said. “Channel the anger!”
We headed out of the community centre. I glanced around at the girls but they were engrossed with their friends. “I don’t know when I last did any exercise,” I told Angela. “There’s a good chance it could kill me.”
“Come on – I don’t go far or fast. It’ll be good for you.”
“Okay. If you promise not to laugh at me.”
“Cross my heart!”
We walked up the hill together to our house. I left Angela chatting to Ruth in the kitchen while I rummaged around for something sporty to wear. I finally found a suitable outfit and hurried down to rescue Angela.
I managed to jog for half an hour and then couldn’t ignore my screaming lungs any longer. I stood, bent over, my hands on my knees, while I tried to catch my breath.
“You said you wouldn’t laugh,” I reminded Angela. She held her hands up and made a zipping action across her lips.
“You did better than I expected,” she said.
We spent the next hour wandering the hills around the village, chatting about whatever came to mind, mainly complaining good-naturedly about our families. We were walking back through the village when Mike appeared at the door of the pub.
“Looking energetic, ladies!”
“I don’t feel it,” I told him.
“Is your coffee pot up and running?” Angela asked.
“It certainly is,” he said, standing aside and holding the door for us.
“Perfect,” Angela said. “I assume you’ll put it on a tab? We’ve no cash.”
“No problem,” he told us.
I took a seat at the nearest table and laid my head down on the table, groaning. “What have you done to me?”
“I told you. It’s good for you!” Angela said.
“Anyone want some gossip to go with the coffee?” Mike asked, setting two steaming mugs down in front of us.
I sat up quickly. “Definitely!”
He pulled up a stool and leaned towards us conspiratorially. “Last night Ron Bishop came in for a few drinks…”
I looked at Angela.
“The old guy with the golden retriever,” she told me. “His wife died a few years back.”
I nodded and looked back at Mike.
“So last night old Ron got a bit tipsy and ended up sitting with Sheila…”
“Sheila from the shop?” I asked.
Mike nodded. “Shop Sheila. So they got chatting and stayed until closing. When they were leaving, Sheila tripped on the doorstep.” Mike raised his eyebrows. “And old Ron had to see her home safely.”
“And?” I asked.
“She tripped,” Mike said again. “Ron had to lend her an arm to make sure she got home okay!”
“That’s the gossip?” I looked at Angela, who was smiling as she sipped her coffee.
“I thought it was quite exciting,” Mike said. “She tripped!”
“She didn’t fall on her face, though?” I asked.
“Of course not,” Mike said. “That would be a serious incident, not idle gossip!”
“This isn’t really gossip, though,” I said.
“You city folks,” he said. “This is as good as it gets, I’m afraid. What were you expecting? Some big scandal? Dream on!”
I gave him a playful nudge.
“So just to make sure I’ve got this right for when I tell Adam … Sheila tripped?”
“She did indeed,” Mike said. “I wouldn’t lie to you!”
Chapter 10
I enjoyed chatting to Angela and Mike, and stayed too long. When we left the pub I only had time to go home for a quick shower and change before I had to pick the kids up.
Hailey ended up going home with Angela, desperate to play with Zac and Imogen. Emily and I had a quiet lunch of sandwiches and crisps and then nodded off in front of the TV. When I called Angela, she told me that the kids were all playing on the field opposite their house, and invited me to bring Emily over to play with the younger kids on the playground.
Hailey waved when we arrived. She was running around on the hill and seemed to be having a great time. Emily spotted a friend on the playground and I followed when she ran in that direction.
I took a seat on a bench next to another mum and said a quick hello to her.
“I’m Karen,” she said. “Imogen’s mum. I’ve seen you around but we’ve not met properly.”
“I’m Lucy.”
“I know,” she said lightly.
I turned and smiled at the amusement on her face. “I’m still famous around here, then?” I asked.
“For so many reasons.”
I appreciated her honesty.
“The kids have been having a great time,” she told me, glancing back at the hill.
“I’m glad,” I said. “Hailey was dreading the holiday club, but she’s having a fantas
tic time. To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to the holidays either, but so far, so good! Have you got a little one too?”
“Yeah, Ella’s the little blondie.” She pointed to the girl on the slide. “She’s three and a half.”
I turned to see Hailey, Zac and Imogen running into the house next to Angela’s.
“That’s our place,” Karen said. “They’ll no doubt be out again in a minute.”
She was right: they reappeared a few minutes later, carrying kites, and ran to the top of the hill to fly them.
It was late afternoon when I finally loaded the girls into the car and headed home for dinner. Adam was late and the girls were watching TV in their pyjamas when he arrived home. He gave me a quick kiss and collapsed into an armchair.
“Did you have a good day?” he asked as Emily crawled into his lap.
“Lucy’s going to take us shopping for kites tomorrow,” Emily told him. “Then we can go up on the hill to fly them.”
“We were over at Angela’s place and the other kids all had kites,” I explained to Adam.
“We’ve got kites in the attic,” he said. “Do you remember, Hailey? I bought them one summer when you were little.”
“When Emily was just a baby?” Hailey mused, looking up from the TV. “You and Dad took me out to fly kites but wouldn’t let me have a turn…”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “I thought you might have forgotten that part. I’ll go up in the attic later and find them.”
Of course, he didn’t get up to the attic that evening, and when I sat at the kitchen table with the girls the following morning all thoughts of kites had vanished.
“Lucy,” Ruth huffed. “You didn’t hang the washing out. I told you I was putting another load in the machine.”
“I forgot all about it,” I said, refusing to let her get to me.
“You’ll have to put it on to wash again now.”
“It’s fine. I’ll do it later.”
“What on earth were you doing all day that you couldn’t manage to hang out one load of washing? You didn’t even fold the other load.” She glanced at the washing basket, which was full of crumpled but clean clothes. I thought I’d done well remembering to take it off the washing line before I went to bed.