In a low voice he asked, “Just what are you planning to do about Timmy? You’re putting Shaye through hell.”
Randall clasped his younger brother’s arm. “Not here.”
“Then where?” John asked. “It’s not as if Malloy and I run into each other very often.”
“It’s fine,” Dylan said. “Unless you’re going to cause a scene that will upset everyone.”
“Everyone’s already upset. We’ve welcomed Timmy into our lives and now you want to claim him.”
“Claim isn’t the right word,” Dylan replied. “I respect my sister’s wishes in making Shaye his legal guardian. But she was my sister and he’s my nephew. I’m going to be his dad. I won’t cut Shaye or her family out of Timmy’s life, but I will take responsibility for him.”
“You can’t take care of him like a mother could,” John pointed out.
“No, I’ll take care of him as a father would.”
“That sounds great in theory, but we grew up without our mom and we know what it’s like.”
“I lost both of my parents. Don’t you think I understand what life will be like for Timmy if he doesn’t have a secure home?”
“You don’t get it,” John said angrily. “We had our father, but he worked all the time. Are you telling me you’re going to quit running around the world and stay here? Exactly what are you going to do?”
“I don’t have all the answers yet. Should Shaye and I share joint custody, I could still take assignments away from here.”
“In other words, you’re going to use her as a baby-sitter.”
“What has you so ticked off?” Dylan asked, hoping to clear the air.
“You do. She’s been in a tizzy ever since she met you.”
“Watch it,” Randall murmured to his brother.
With a slight flush, John went on anyway. “Something’s going on between you two besides Timmy. You’re sure trying to hide that, but we can all see it.”
“You’ve had a family meeting about this?” Dylan asked with some consternation.
“Not exactly. Dad’s oblivious, as always.”
With that comment, Dylan glanced at Shaye’s father who was talking to Walter now. Carson Bartholomew was a tall, thin man with gray hair and wire-rimmed spectacles. He looked like a doctor even without the lab coat. He seemed to be talking to everyone except Shaye. Dylan had felt awkwardness between father and daughter when she’d introduced him to the man.
Turning his full attention on John again, he warned him, “You and your brother can talk all you want, but whatever decisions Shaye and I have to make, whatever goes on between us, is between us.”
“She’s my sister and I’m going to watch out for her.”
“I respect that. I know about sisters and wanting to protect them.”
As if that fact was something John had forgotten, he replied less defensively, “Yes, I guess you do.”
After John stepped away and joined the rest of his family once more, Randall apologized for him. “Sorry about that. He can be a hothead.”
“I’d rather have him tell me what he’s thinking instead of letting his resentment simmer.”
Now Randall lowered his voice. “Shaye hasn’t been involved with anyone since a guy when she was in grad school. She’s probably not like most women you’ve met.”
That was certainly true. If she hadn’t been involved with a man since her grad school years, their encounter before he returned to Africa had been out of the ordinary for her. Why had she let it happen? Why had he let it happen?
Because at that moment they’d needed to reaffirm life? Because they’d been through a crisis and had to let off a little steam?
If only it were that simple.
Dylan decided to stow his camera in the car for the remainder of the afternoon. He wanted to be a participant in the celebration rather than an observer. Photographing wildlife, he felt as if he were part of the scene. Photographing humans was different—he had to be detached and set apart.
At his SUV, he thought about holding Timmy before the christening. He thought about taking off the little boy’s white cap and retying one of his shoes. All day he’d been pushing thoughts of Julia away. Now sadness gripped him that she wasn’t here to witness this first milestone moment in her child’s life.
A few minutes later he entered the social hall. Conversation seemed to fill the room as guests moved through the buffet line. It was very obvious that Shaye’s family had closed ranks around her. Randall and John were sitting on either side of her; Barb sat across from her. Walter had taken a seat at a second table next to Carson, who sat apart from his family. Other friends of the Bartholomews were here, too. Shaye had introduced Dylan to most of them but he didn’t know any of them.
As Dylan moved to the buffet table, a soft but sweet voice at his elbow suddenly asked, “This is a difficult day for you, isn’t it?”
Dylan looked at Kylie Warner. When he’d met her the first time, she’d been wearing jeans and a plaid blouse, and he’d thought she was pretty. Today, however, in a peasant-style gauzy dress, she was downright beautiful. The thing was, he noticed that with some detachment. His blood didn’t race as it did when he looked at Shaye.
“Timmy was christened today,” he said. “I’m happy about that.”
“Christened with your father’s name?”
“How did you know that?”
“Shaye told me. I knew Julia, too. Not well. Not like Shaye. I imagine you’re thinking about her today, too.”
There was a compassion in Kylie’s eyes that was very different from the suspicion he saw in Gwen’s and the wariness in Shaye’s.
“I have been thinking about her…and Will.”
Selecting vegetables from a tray and dip to go with them, Kylie noted, “You didn’t ask very many guests to come.”
“I don’t have many connections in Wild Horse Junction. I’ve been away too much and too long. I called Will’s mom to see if she could fly in, but she said the trip would be too difficult for her. I’m going to send her pictures.”
When Kylie glanced over at the table where Shaye was sitting, she grimaced. “What are you going to do about that?”
Kylie’s perception made him give her a wry smile. “I’ve been considering my options. I can take a chair over there and push my way in. I could put Shaye on the spot and invite her to sit at a table with me. I could appear at her elbow and tell her I’m going to take Timmy for a while. I could do nothing and let them all think I’m going to back off simply because they outnumber me.”
“What are you going to do?” Kylie asked again.
“That’s a loaded question. I’m not going to kidnap Timmy and run off to Tibet with him and raise him on a mountaintop. I think that’s what all of them are afraid of.”
“Wouldn’t you be afraid if you were in Shaye’s shoes?”
“I know she’s afraid,” Dylan conceded. “But in the long run, I can make life easier rather than harder for her. Timmy needs a mother’s loving hand but he also needs a father’s guidance and a male role model. If Shaye would just relax a little, I think she could see that.”
“I don’t think you understand just how much Shaye wanted to be a mother. While you were away, she’d begun planning her life with Timmy. Sharing him hadn’t figured into any of her plans.”
Dylan forgot the food on the table and faced Kylie. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think it was the right thing to do. After I saw Timmy, after I absorbed what had happened to Julia, after I went back to a life I used to find fascinating but don’t anymore, I realized I couldn’t walk away from Timmy. I don’t want to walk away.”
After a pensive moment, Kylie said sincerely, “I think Timmy’s lucky to have you in his life.”
“I wish Shaye felt that way.”
“She needs time to come to grips with you being here. Eventually she’ll realize that if Timmy has two people who want to love and protect him, that has to be better than just having one person.”
When Dylan saw the understanding in Kylie’s eyes, he knew she was speaking from personal experience, but he didn’t know her well enough to ask about it.
Suddenly their attention was drawn to Shaye’s table where Timmy was fussing. Several small cries soon became a howl.
“That’s what I need,” Dylan said with a grin. “An opening. It was good talking to you.”
“You, too. I figured if you’re going to be in and out of Shaye’s life, I should get to know you.”
With Kylie’s remark, he realized he wanted to be more “in” Shaye’s life than out of it.
After he set his plate on a table near Walter, he went over to Shaye. “I’ll walk him for a while so you can finish eating.”
Instead of agreeing with him, she handed Timmy to him and then stood. “I think he needs to be changed.”
“I can do that.”
“There’s a changing table in the ladies’ room. I don’t know if the men’s room is equipped.”
Dylan couldn’t help but frown. “I think the world’s set up for mothers and babies. Fathers aren’t supposed to enter into the picture until it’s time to sign up for Little League.”
“That’s the way lots of dads want it.” She cut a glance toward her own.
After jiggling Timmy a little, Dylan lifted him to his shoulder and patted his back. The baby quieted. “Your dad’s not acting like a doting grandfather.”
Shaye’s shoulders tensed a bit and her chin lifted. “My dad wasn’t a doting father. Besides, I don’t think he considers himself a grandfather.”
“Because Timmy’s not your biological child?”
“He’d never admit that, but yes, I think that’s true. On the other hand, whether he’s a grandfather or not wouldn’t make any difference to his life. He’s a doctor first and nothing else comes close.”
She suddenly blushed. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Dad’s always taken care of us the best he knew how. After Mom died, he was lost and not equipped to take care of a family.”
“He could have learned.”
“He had three kids to feed and clothe and educate. Sure, he loved his work, but I think he always saw his place as the provider.”
“You have a lot of mixed feelings where he’s concerned.”
“I guess I do. If he ever retires, maybe we’ll get a chance to talk about them.”
Seeing that Shaye wanted to believe that, Dylan knew if Carson had been closed off to his kids for all these years, retirement wouldn’t change his personality.
Since Timmy’s quiet spell was over and he was fussing again, Shaye motioned to the baby carry-all by her chair. “I’d better get that diaper, then he’ll want a bottle. Would you like to feed him?”
“So I can prove to your friends and relatives that I’m capable?” He couldn’t help the edge that sharpened his voice.
Shaye leaned close to him so he could hear her. “They need reassurance that your interest in him isn’t just a whim.”
“I don’t have anything to prove to anyone except Timmy. Go get the diaper and I’ll feed him in the room down the hall…away from everybody’s prying eyes.”
A half hour later Shaye went to find Dylan. After she’d changed Timmy, she’d let Dylan take him down the hall and she hadn’t followed. She’d made herself go back to her table and finish eating.
As she left the social hall, she wondered why she’d told Dylan what she had about her father. She usually kept her feelings about him under wraps. What was the point in reliving history? Nothing would be changed by it—not her sense of aloneness that had been with her since her mother had died, not her childish dream that someday her dad would wrap his arms around her and tell her how much he loved her…that he was proud of her. She’d learned long ago not to base her actions on what someone else did or didn’t say or do.
When she saw the open door to one of the meeting rooms, she stopped and approached it more slowly. At the doorway, she saw Dylan sitting in an old wooden captain’s chair, Timmy in the crook of his arm. The empty bottle sat on the floor. Dylan was so big and Timmy was so small. She couldn’t help studying Dylan’s features, his thick hair, his very broad shoulders in his suit jacket. Could a man care for a baby as well as a woman? Did it have to be a competition?
Dylan looked up and caught her watching him. Their eyes collided.
She shook down to her white pumps.
Recovering from the impact as best she could, she asked, “How’s he doing?”
“He finished the bottle. He must have been hungry.”
As she came into the room, Dylan transferred Timmy to his shoulder to burp him. The burp came almost immediately.
“Good boy,” they both said at the same time.
When Dylan laughed, she smiled and she wished she could separate the bond over Timmy from the bond between the two of them. Was there even a bond between the two of them? They’d made love once. She’d never forget what had happened that day. But she suspected Dylan could live in the moment much more easily than she could…and move on to the next.
As he stood, she automatically reached out for Timmy.
“Your arms feel empty without him?” Dylan asked.
She nodded.
“I had a short talk with Kylie. I got the impression she’s not taking sides. Does that bother you?”
“Do you mean, do I think she’s being disloyal? No, she’s being Kylie. She probably has more sense than Gwen and I put together.”
“Even though she’s not happy herself?”
“I think that’s going to change.”
“And that’s all you’re going to say,” Dylan said with a smile.
Carefully taking Timmy from his shoulder, Dylan gave him to Shaye. In the transfer, his hand brushed her breast. He was close enough for her to smell his male scent mixed with aftershave. In his charcoal suit today, he looked distinguished and handsome.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said when the transfer was completed. “The good weather is supposed to hold through tomorrow. The temperature is supposed to be in the seventies. How would you like to take a ride and hike with me? Timmy, too. I can buy one of those carriers that I’ve seen walkers use.”
“Hiking with a baby? Where do you have in mind?”
“Along Mustang Creek. Babies need fresh air and sunshine, and Timmy needs a spirit of adventure. We should start him early.”
A spirit of adventure. Maybe she needed to find hers.
She wondered if Dylan realized they’d have to take along all of Timmy’s supplies and that this adventure might be a little different from what he was used to. But there was no point warning him. She’d just let him experience it.
Chapter Nine
The next day, the expression on Dylan’s face was priceless as he motioned to the paraphernalia Shaye had collected to take on their hike. “All that has to go?”
She couldn’t help grinning. “Babies need a lot of supplies.”
“What a bunch of bull.” He was already scanning the diaper carry-all bag and the grocery bag filled with odds and ends she might need.
“I’m going to consolidate everything into a backpack. One of us can carry Timmy and the other will have to carry the backpack.”
She couldn’t help but notice how rugged Dylan looked today. She’d be spending hours with him. Her tummy somersaulted. “How long will we be gone?”
“About three hours. A mile in and a mile out. Any problem with that?”
Dressing Timmy in his sweater, she answered, “No problem. But what if Timmy cries and we can’t get him settled?”
“He’ll keep the bears away.”
Her head jerked up and she met Dylan’s gaze. He obviously couldn’t help but laugh at her expression. “Relax, Shaye. We’ll be fine. If we make enough noise, animals usually head in the other direction.”
“Usually?” She drawled the word.
He grinned. “Most of the time. Now, come on. I have picnic supplies in the cooler. When we reach the trail
area, I’ll have to pack those in the backpack, too.”
As she attached Timmy’s little hat, she shook her head. “Are you sure this is worth the trouble?”
Crossing to her, Dylan capped her shoulder with his large, warm hand. “Trust me.”
That was the whole crux of the matter. She didn’t know if she could. She trusted her brothers to have her well-being at heart. She trusted Gwen and Kylie and colleagues she worked with, but when it came down to bachelors and men she might date, when it came down to Dylan in particular, trust was a foreign concept.
Twenty minutes later, after they’d parked in a gravel lot that serviced more than one hiking trail, Shaye marveled at how much Dylan had fit into his backpack.
Hefting it in one hand, he decided, “Timmy’s lighter, but I’m probably more sure on my feet as we’re hiking. It’s up to you to decide what you want to carry.”
On this, she did trust Dylan to keep Timmy safe. He was used to hiking, she wasn’t. “I can handle the pack. We’re not going that far.”
Dylan nodded as if that was the conclusion he’d come to.
The trail was wide enough that they could walk side by side. At once, Shaye could tell Dylan was in his element. He was sure-footed as his gaze examined the scene, as if he’d experienced it many times before and was looking for something new.
She tried to see the area through his eyes. After scanning the west beyond the lodge-pole pines and the Douglas firs, her gaze shifted to the east. Green leaves of gambel oaks waved in the breeze. Those trees could handle almost anything Wyoming dished out—including wind and drought. Alone, could she handle everything parenthood dished out? Did she want to cut Dylan out of Timmy’s life?
She had to admit she didn’t.
Sun lined the path as they walked and brushed by choke cherries with new growth turning red. Buttercups and goldenrod dotted grassy areas, and Shaye realized she’d stopped worrying and was simply enjoying being outdoors.
Suddenly, Dylan pulled a small camera from his pocket and snapped a picture of her.
“What are you doing?”
“How long has it been since you went hiking?”
Shrugging, she hated to admit the truth. “A few years.”
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