Custody For Two (Baby Bonds #1)

by Karen Rose Smith

  Dylan motioned outside. “Let’s go sit in the waiting room. There’s something I want to ask you.”

  “All right,” Shaye said stoically, as if expecting the worst. Going to Timmy, she kissed him and then stepped outside the cubicle. Dylan walked with her to the waiting area and they sat side by side on the vinyl chairs.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “That all of this is my fault. I should never have gone to work yesterday. Maybe I can’t work and take care of Timmy, too. And we should definitely have joint custody. If I had been delayed in the judge’s chambers any longer, what would have happened if the doctor wouldn’t treat Timmy without my permission?”

  “Stop it, Shaye,” Dylan ordered gently. “Kids get sick. Their conditions can change in the blink of an eye. The doctor as much as said that. I don’t blame you for what happened. We both need to keep an eye on Timmy, and not just his health, but everything about his life. There’s only one way we can do that. We should get married so we can both be full-time parents.”

  Paling, Shaye stared at him with wide, amazed eyes. “We should get married so we can both be parents?”

  “Yes. That’s the solution to your work situation and for me spending more time with Timmy. You can stay home with him as long as you want. I can take assignments without worrying if you can handle it all. We can adopt Timmy legally and be real parents.”

  With a stunned look on her face, she asked, “You say this is a practical solution.”

  “Yes.”

  The paleness vanished and color came into Shaye’s cheeks then. “If I ever get married, I’ll get married because I love a man and he loves me and there’s nothing else in this world we want more than to spend our lives together. I won’t get married because the arrangement will be convenient, or because I could quit working for a while. I can’t marry you just so we can be parents!”

  Standing and turning away from him, she said over her shoulder, “I have to make some calls,” then hurried down the hall. Her exit was so fast Dylan hardly had time to absorb the fact she was gone because he was still focusing on the fact she’d turned down his proposal.

  After a good long cry and a bout of blowing her nose in the ladies’ room, Shaye pulled herself together.

  Marry Dylan for Timmy’s sake.

  She simply couldn’t. For a moment when Dylan had mentioned marriage, her heart had raced. She’d thought a long-ago forgotten dream might even be in her grasp. But then he’d explained why he was proposing and she’d had to get away from him. Her love for him was one-sided, and a one-sided marriage simply wouldn’t work, no matter how practical or convenient.

  He wanted to get married because being married would be easier than not being married? Because good sex now and then was enough for him?

  Now and then.

  Their desire was more than now and then.

  She shook her head, trying to clear it, trying to reason with herself, reminding herself half a marriage with Dylan would be no marriage at all.

  Exiting the ladies’ room, she spotted a phone in an alcove and headed for it. Barb and Randall needed to know Timmy had turned a corner.

  She was ending her call when she saw her father walking toward her. What was he doing in PEDS? Maybe he had a patient up here.

  “Making rounds early?” she asked lightly as he approached her.

  “I wanted to see how Timmy was doing.”

  “How did you know he was sick?”

  “I work in this hospital, Shaye. Yesterday, I heard Dr. Carrera paged and then your brother. My sixth sense made me wonder, then I checked the patient roster. I came up here last night before leaving for the day but you and Malloy were with him and I didn’t want to intrude.”

  “You wouldn’t have been intruding. I would have appreciated knowing that you cared.”

  “I care, Shaye. I care that you want to be a mother to this little boy. I was hoping you would have your own children since you were so good with your brothers.”

  That was the first time her father had ever mentioned the care she’d given her brothers. “Timmy is my own,” she replied softly, “even if I have to share him with Dylan.”

  Her father moved his hand dismissively. “He’ll be gone most of the time. You’ll be Timmy’s parent. How’s he doing this morning?”

  “Dr. Carrera is moving him to a regular room. He’s doing much better. His fever’s down.”

  “Terrific. That baby’s been through a lot and so have you.” Her father looked uncomfortable, then added, “When he was in the hospital in February, I did visit him.”

  “I never saw you.”

  “I know. I wasn’t sure how to deal with the whole situation. I didn’t want to see you hurt, and if that child didn’t make it, you would have been devastated.”

  The fact that he’d cared about her made her eyes well with tears. Her father simply didn’t know how to deal with emotion, but it meant so much to her that he actually did care.

  Her dad cleared his throat. “Now that you know that Timmy’s getting better, would you consider coming over to the house for dinner? Nicole wants to get to know you better.”

  Studying her dad, she asked, “Are you and Nicole serious?”

  “Yes, I think we are. I really can’t explain it, Shaye. But she gives me a reason to leave the hospital. In fact, I may consider retiring sooner rather than later. The thing is—she doesn’t have any family and she wants to become a part of ours. I know the age difference might be a problem for you—”

  “No,” she assured him. “The age difference isn’t a problem, not if she makes you happy.”

  Her father smiled. “She does, and she’s wise beyond her years. She’s making me realize how much I missed with you and Randall and John by working so hard.”

  A nurse bustled by and when she saw Shaye, she said, “Timmy’s in room 305 now.”

  “Thanks,” Shaye called after her.

  “Come on,” Carson said. “I’ll walk you there, then I can take a look at the boy for myself.”

  As Shaye walked beside her father down the hall, she could sense their relationship was about to change. They might really become father and daughter in the full sense of the words.

  Now, if she only knew how to keep her heart from aching when she was around Dylan….

  Chapter Fourteen

  A half hour later Dylan found himself in the cafeteria, restless and angry. As he sipped another cup of coffee he didn’t need, he realized he was angry at himself. He should have waited to bring up marriage until he and Shaye were home with Timmy tucked into bed.

  Home. With Shaye.

  At that moment, someone pulled out a chair across from him, rattled it and sat down. It was Gwen.

  “Do you know what you’re doing to Shaye?”

  The last thing he needed right now was an argument with one of Shaye’s best friends, but it looked as if he and Gwen were headed in that direction.

  “What happens between me and Shaye, happens between me and Shaye. Maybe you shouldn’t get involved.”

  “Not get involved? She’s been crying, and not over Timmy. She won’t talk to me. She always talks to me. When I finally pushed, she told me she doesn’t know how to be around you. What did you do to her?”

  The impact of Gwen’s statement hit him. She doesn’t know how to be around you.

  Did that mean Shaye was going to shut down and close him out? Did that mean even if they had joint custody, Shaye would have her time with Timmy and he would have his?

  “I proposed to her,” he replied gruffly.

  “You what?”

  “You heard me.” He wasn’t in the mood to be diplomatic.

  Instead of responding immediately, Gwen stared at the cup of coffee he was turning in his hands, then up at him.

  “You don’t look a whole lot better than Shaye. Just how did you propose?”

  Running a hand over his beard-stubbed chin, he supposed he did look as if he’d been working in the wild. “I asked her to
marry me,” he returned impatiently. “I told her it would be the best solution for both of us. She wouldn’t have to work, and we could both be parents to Timmy.”

  “No wonder she’s upset!” Gwen perused him as if he were a criminal. Then she folded her arms in front of her and kept her gaze on his. “Tell me again why you want to marry her.”

  “I want to marry her because I—” He stopped, forgetting practical reasons. “I don’t want to lose anybody else in my life. I want to keep her and Timmy close.”

  “What does that mean, you want to keep her close?” Gwen prodded.

  Reaching deep inside, he let his dreams bubble up to the surface. “I want to wake up with her in the morning and I want to go to bed with her at night. I want to show her places she’s never seen before. I want her to be there when I get home, and eventually I want to have kids with her.”

  “Those reasons have nothing to do with Timmy,” Gwen pointed out. After a moment she added, “They aren’t terrifically practical reasons, either.”

  No, they weren’t. In fact, practical reasons didn’t cause this deep an ache. He had to just be with her.

  “What do you feel, Dylan?”

  Shaye’s refusal to marry him had torn him in two because he’d begun weaving a life for them. He just hadn’t wanted to admit it.

  “The people I’ve cared about—I’ve lost them.”

  “Are you afraid if you care too much about Shaye, you’ll lose her, too?”

  Was he? Had he been using reason and logic and desire to cover up the feeling he didn’t want to face? If he loved Shaye, what did that mean to his life? He suddenly stood.

  “Dylan?”

  “You were just upstairs in Timmy’s room?”

  “Yes.”

  “And he’s okay?”

  “Yes, he’s okay.”

  “I’m going to go back to my place, take a shower and clear my head.”

  “I tried to convince Shaye that’s what she should do but she doesn’t want to leave Timmy yet,” Gwen admitted.

  “When I return, I’ll convince her.”

  “Dylan, I didn’t mean to pry.”

  “Yes, you did. I’m glad Shaye has friends who love her enough to pry. Are you going back up to PEDS?”

  “I have a patient to see, but if you want me to give Shaye a message—”

  “No message. Anything I have to tell her, I’ll tell her myself. Don’t worry about her, Gwen. I’m going to make everything right. I just have to figure out the best way to do that.”

  After she studied him closely for a moment, she nodded, then gave him a small smile. “Good luck.”

  After Dylan showered at his apartment, he found the answers he needed on his computer monitor as he clicked on one photo after the other. There were pictures of Timmy, but just as many of Shaye. As he studied the photos carefully, he realized he’d tried to capture every one of her expressions, the quirk of her brow as she was surprised by the sight of another horse, her wide smile as she watched foals chasing across the grassland, her wide-eyed awe as the sun descended in a burst of pink and orange behind the mountains, her Madonna-like smile whenever she looked at Timmy. All were faces of Shaye he loved and respected and desired. In the shower, he’d thought about his work and traveling and freedom. Here in the midst of the craft he looked at as a vocation, he saw the future clearly.

  Now, if he could just convince Shaye to envision it with him!

  After he made a few calls, he took a pair of scissors from the kitchen drawer and went to the yard where he’d seen red roses blooming. Every time he passed them, he thought of Shaye. He cut a perfect bud that was just in the process of opening. After he trimmed off the thorns, he glanced around the backyard. The rose wasn’t enough. Adding blooms of larkspur to it, he went to his SUV and drove to the hospital. A few minutes later he was in the elevator, his heart pounding as he waited for the door to open.

  As he approached the pediatric wing, he spotted Shaye in the hall talking to a nurse. Peeking into room 305, he saw that Timmy was sleeping. When he headed for Shaye, she heard his footsteps and looked up. He didn’t make any attempt to hide the flowers.

  The nurse smiled at him. “I was just trying to convince her to go get something to eat.”

  “I’ll take her for breakfast,” he assured the woman, clasping Shaye’s hand and tugging her toward a vacant room.

  “Dylan, what are you doing? I can’t just leave.”

  “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to listen to me.”

  The empty, sterile hospital room wasn’t the surroundings he wanted, but it would have to do. “You have to try to do something for me,” he told her.

  “What?”

  “You have to imagine you’re on the mountain at night. There’s a full moon and millions of stars.”

  “I don’t understand—”

  “I know you don’t, and that’s my fault.” He offered her the bouquet. “This is for you. Not for you and Timmy, just for you. The flower shops weren’t open yet or I would have gotten dozens of flowers, however many it took to prove to you I want to be with you—for you. I’ve lost the people I’ve loved, Shaye, and for me to admit I was afraid to love again would be a massive understatement. Even though I was trying to protect myself from deeply feeling for someone, I couldn’t prevent it. I love you. I want you to marry me so we can share that love, live that love and expand that love. Do you love me?”

  He’d never left himself this wide open—so completely vulnerable—before and couldn’t quite believe he was doing it now. His future with Shaye was more important than anything in life he’d ever wanted.

  Her eyes were shiny and golden as she took the rose with the larkspur and studied the arrangement. Then she lifted her eyes to his. “I do love you, Dylan, but what about your freedom? You need to be free to go where you want to go and do what you want to do.”

  Shaking his head, he said, “I once thought that was true. I once thought freedom meant no ties. But that kind of freedom comes at too big a price. It carries with it loneliness and restlessness and never having a real home. I want a home with you and Timmy. I looked at my work seriously, and I made a few calls—one to an old friend who’s an editor and the other to my agent. I’m going to work on two books. First, the wild mustangs in Wyoming, later, the whales off the coast of Alaska. I’ll have to take field trips, but you and Timmy can come with me.

  “Most of my work I’ll be doing on my own computer. These projects will take a couple of years, especially if I do some writing with them. I’d like to get into doing more of that. I’ve seen Africa. I’ve photographed Tasmania. I’ve been to Scotland and Antarctica and Chile. There’s plenty of wildlife I can photograph right here at home. I don’t want to be away from you any more than you want to be away from me, I hope. And if we have more kids, I can get more involved in the business of selling prints. I know we can work it all out, Shaye. Together. Do you want to? Will you marry me?”

  When she threw her arms around his neck, he held her close. “Is that a yes?”

  Leaning back slightly, she looked up at him with all the love in her heart in her eyes. “Yes, I’ll marry you. I would never expect you to give up the work you love.”

  Then he kissed her and he knew he had found everything his life had always been missing.

  When he broke away, he smiled at her. “When will you marry me?”

  “As soon as there’s an opening on the church calendar.”

  Laughing, he swung her into his arms and spun her around, knowing he was the luckiest man on earth.

  Shaye was laughing, too, holding on to the flowers he’d given her. “I do love you so, Dylan,” she breathed.

  He kissed her again, intending to prove every day of their lives exactly how worthy a husband and father he could be.

  ISBN: 978-1-4592-1823-9

  CUSTODY FOR TWO

  Copyright © 2006 by Karen Rose Smith

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  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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