“So you’re not going to take over that studio from that Dana chick? The one who was supposed to be taking pics at Keira’s wedding? I heard she was selling out.”
Abby had heard the same thing and for a few hopeful moments had thought this was an opportunity for her. But after her father’s visit tore her world apart, that dream had died a sudden death.
“You know staying in Saddlebank is not going to work.” Even Lee hadn’t stayed around Saddlebank after his difficulties.
Not that he had any choice. The guy was hauled off to jail.
Abby shuddered at the memory. Too much to get past.
“So, where are you now?” Louisa asked.
“I’m at the lookout point. I needed some time away from the apartment. Away from Saddlebank.”
“So, about getting home... Are you going right now? Did you want me to find my own way back?”
Abby bit her lip, thinking. “Actually I was hoping to talk you into leaving early too. I have to finish up the photos for Keira and Tanner’s wedding, but those I can do from Seattle as well as here.”
“Normally I would but...well...you see...I’ve made a few plans.”
“With George?”
“Bingo.”
In spite of her own troubles, Abby had to smile, though she wondered what Brooke would think of this new development. “Okay. I’ll stay tonight yet, but I’ve gotta be out of here tomorrow.”
“Sure thing.”
Abby said goodbye, then tossed her phone in her car. She didn’t want any distractions while she was up here. Maddie had called a number of times asking for clarification and some tweaks on the article she had sent. Abby knew it was merely an excuse to see if Abby would keep working for her.
She hadn’t given her final notice yet, her uncertainty over her job fueled by the uncertainty in her life. As she stared up at the cloudless blue sky, emotions churned through her. She didn’t know where she belonged anymore. What she wanted to do. The ground under her had been cut away, once again, by her father’s actions.
Abby turned her camera on but in the process mistakenly hit the preview button. The last picture she had taken flashed on the LCD screen, and Abby sucked in a breath.
It was the one of Lee giving the speech to his sister at her wedding. It had taken some fooling around with the light balance and the aperture, but she managed to get a clear shot.
Now, looking at it, she felt as if someone had pulled her heart right out of her chest. For a few sublime, glorious days she had felt as if her life had been moving into a better, brighter place.
She had felt empty before, but it was nothing compared to how bereft she felt now.
“Had I not seen the sun, I could have borne the shade.” The quote from Emily Dickinson pierced her soul as the sun beat down on her now.
The second time in her life the tantalizing idea of being with Lee had been within reach, and once again, the actions of others intervened to make that impossible.
Her steps faltered as she pressed her hand to her heart, the ache like a stab wound. How was she going to go on?
Help me, Lord, she prayed, clinging to the one relationship she knew she could count on. She stopped there, not even sure what she wanted to pray for.
Help Lee, she finally whispered. Help him to forgive me.
Part of her wanted to see him one last time before she left, but she couldn’t face him.
She walked through the trees, coming out to look over the same view she had been looking at when she first came here. It wasn’t difficult to remember how she’d felt when she saw Lee. The anger. The sense of injustice. The pain.
All the emotions he was feeling now.
Dragging in a breath, she sent up another prayer, then lifted her camera and snapped a few pictures. Weariness clawed at her as the sun warmed her head and shoulders. She hadn’t slept much last night. Thoughts of Lee twisted through her mind, creating chaotic dreams. So she sat down now, laid her head back and closed her eyes. Just for a few minutes, she promised herself as her thoughts grew muzzy.
The growl of a diesel truck slowing down fractured her dreams. She slowly opened her eyes, rubbing at them, wondering how long she had dozed off.
The truck came to a stop and the engine shut off and any remnants of sleep fled. Someone was here.
Her thoughts flashed back full circle to the last time she was here. She glanced hurriedly around, looking for a place to hide, then released a bitter laugh. Last time she did that, it didn’t end well.
Besides, whoever it was knew she was here. Her car was a dead giveaway.
Then she turned as she heard muffled footfalls on the path.
This time, when the tall figure broke through the trees, cowboy hat pulled low over his face, she knew exactly who it was.
Lee.
Her heart jumped in her chest as he stopped. He strung his hands up in his pockets and gave her a tight nod.
“Hey there,” he said quietly.
“Hey back.” She swallowed the lump that threatened as her gaze took in his beloved features, searching for some clue as to his state of mind.
But the brim of his hat shadowed his dark eyes. His mouth was set in grim lines. He shifted his weight, lifted one broad shoulder in a shrug. “I kind of hoped you would be here.”
Not sure what to think, she felt her overworked heart do a slow flip.
They stood in silence, the wind soughing through the trees above, a mournful counterpoint to the moment, a complete reversal of the last time they had both stood here looking at each other.
“I just talked to your father,” Lee said gruffly.
Abby’s head snapped up, dread snaking through her. But she still didn’t dare speak.
“I needed to see him before I talked to you. That’s why I didn’t answer your calls. Then when I tried to call you, you didn’t answer.”
“I...I left my phone in the car and I had a nap.” She stopped there, realizing how silly she sounded. They had so much hanging between them and she was babbling about her phone and sleeping.
“That’s good. I could actually use one too. I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“I can understand why.” Her throat was suddenly dry as her mind cast about for what to say. “I want to apologize again. To say I’m sorry, but those words seem too weak, too inadequate to try to make amends for...to erase...I mean, to reconcile...” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head. “But I am. Deeply sorry. So sorry.”
“I know exactly how you feel,” was Lee’s soft reply. He took a few steps closer and then, to her surprise, put his knuckle under her chin and lifted her face to look at him. “Exactly.”
His single word was accompanied with a wry smile.
Abby could only stare at him, not sure what was happening. Not sure what she dared think or expect.
“I apologize for not taking your calls. I know how that must have looked to you, but I needed to settle things with your father first.”
“He’s sorry for what he did too.”
“I know he is. I told him I’ve forgiven him.”
Abby’s mouth fell open in shock and amazement. “Just like that?” It had taken her years to find her way to that place.
“I told him that because I’m hoping, in time and with God’s help, I can mean it with my whole heart and soul.” Lee’s smile faded and Abby’s hopes faded with it. “And I want to forgive him,” he continued, letting his hand come to settle on her shoulder. “Because I don’t want anything standing between us. Anything,” he said, putting heavy emphasis on that last word.
Her bones felt like rubber and her knees wobbled in reaction to words that she was trying to make sense of. “Are you saying...you’re not...”
Then Lee pulled her close, supporting her. “I’m saying that I love you. I think you were always that important to me—it just took me a long time to grow up to deserve to be in a place to earn your love.” He drew her even closer and sealed his words with a tender kiss.
“You mean more to me th
an anyone ever could.” Lee kissed her again. “I’m sorry for how things went between us, but I have hopes for a future. If you’ll have me.”
Abby stared up at him, still trying to grasp the extent of what had just happened and what he was saying.
“I’ve always loved you,” she whispered. “I think I still loved you when I saw you in that courtroom. I think that’s why I was so angry with you.”
“I’m sorry—”
She put her finger on his lips. “Don’t ever say that again. Not about this. I don’t know how you’ve found the strength to forgive my father, to forgive me—”
“You’ve done nothing that needs forgiveness,” he said, lifting her hand and pressing a kiss to her fingertips. “You were a daughter who fought for her father. Given what you knew, you did the right thing. I wasn’t a good person back then. I wasn’t a kind person. I didn’t come to this place on my own. It was only God’s grace and forgiveness that helped me get here.” He gazed deep into her eyes. “And with God’s love and wisdom guiding me, I hope I can become someone worthy of you. Worthy of your love.”
“You are more than worthy,” Abby breathed, hardly daring to believe that he stood in front of her saying what he did. “I have had to learn forgiveness. To learn grace. I can’t say sorry enough—”
“Then don’t,” Lee returned, kissing her again, pulling her close. “We’re both sinners in need of grace and forgiveness. Let’s simply acknowledge that and move on.” He bent down, pressing his cheek against her hair.
She closed her eyes, holding him close, his heart beating in tandem with hers. “I love you, Lee Bannister.”
“And I love you, Abby Newton. I want you to marry me. To come back to the ranch with me and to make a life with me.”
She pulled back, tears of joy gathering in her eyes, still unable to fathom the depths of his love and the depths of his character. “You are an amazing man, Lee. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Lee’s smile lit up his face.
“So, do I get to sweep you up in my arms and carry you off into the sunset?” he teased, stroking a strand of hair away from her face. “I kind of wanted to do that when you hurt your ankle the first time we were here.”
“I hate to admit, but part of me kind of wanted you to do that too,” she said with a sheepish grin.
“Well, then, let’s make both of our dreams come true,” he said, bending over, fitting his arm under her knees and in one easy motion lifting her off the ground.
She gave in to an impulse, grabbed his hat and dropped it on her head. “There. Now the movie cliché is complete.”
“One more kiss,” he drawled, following through on his promise. “And then we get to ride off to the ranch. We have people to talk to and plans to make.”
“Plans. I like the sound of that.”
Lee chuckled, turned and, still holding her, strode through the trees toward their vehicles.
And then home.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from A MOTHER TO LOVE by Gail Gaymer Martin.
Dear Reader,
Abby and Lee’s story is one of forgiveness. Each of them had to learn to forgive given what they knew and what they had learned over the course of the story. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to grant and, sometimes, one of the hardest things to receive. But the reality is that forgiveness is the bedrock of our Christian faith. The forgiveness we receive from God is a gift and so, the forgiveness we receive from other and the forgiveness we grant others is also a gift.
While holding on to hurt and pain can feel good and right, ultimately it isolates us. Forgiveness brings us together again. It helps us to look ahead instead of behind us.
I hope that if you are struggling with forgiving someone that you will be able to find it in your heart to forgive for your sake as much as theirs.
Blessings,
Carolyne Aarsen
P.S. I love to hear from my readers. Check out my website at www.carolyneaarsen.com and sign up for my newsletter to be kept abreast of my latest news. You can also write to me at [email protected].
We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin Love Inspired story.
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Chapter One
Angie tripped over another box and suppressed a groan. Moving was the pits. She rubbed her shin and noticed another nick to her already bruised and scraped body. She couldn’t forget she’d still be looking at her piled-high boxes without the help of her coworker’s toting and lugging.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and she pulled away from her newest wound and planted a pleasant look on her face. “How are you doing?”
“I think that’s the last one.” Rick Jameson came through the archway, a faint grin on his lips, nice lips she’d noticed recently. If they weren’t such good friends, she could easily fall for him.
“You’re the greatest.” She opened her arms and headed toward him.
He stepped in and joined the friendly hug.
The flex of his strong arms beneath his T-shirt made her sigh just a little. She drew in a breath, bedazzled by the exotic scent of his aftershave. “What are you wearing?”
He drew back. “A T-shirt and jeans?”
His questioning look and response made her laugh. “I meant your aftershave.”
His expression melted into a grin. He shrugged. “Jungle something. Why?”
“I love it. Flowers and foliage after rain.” She arched her brow. “Good choice.”
She didn’t care what it was named. It smelled better than her cucumber melon moisturizer. She studied Rick’s expression, wrapped in his scent, and winced. She knew she looked horrible, dressed in rags with only a swipe of lipstick and a comb run through her hair. “I’m grateful for your help, Rick.”
“Anytime, Angie.” He tweaked her cheek and tucked his hands into his pockets. “Anything else?”
She eyed the stacks of boxes along with another million things she needed to do, but she couldn’t ask Rick for more help. She motioned to a stack. “I need to tackle these boxes myself. Most of it’s for—”
Her leg vibrated before her cell phone’s ringtone sounded. She drew it from her pocket and eyed the caller. “It’s my sister. I’ll call her back.”
He shook his head. “Answer. I can let myself out.”
She lifted a finger to stop him, wanting to enjoy his company just a little longer without using the time to work. She tapped the answer button and stepped into the kitchen. “Connie. Sorry, I’m busy. I have a man here helping me at the new house, and—”
“A man? What’s he like?” her sister asked.
Angie cringed, realizing her mistake. “A friend. That’s all.” She rolled her eyes. One more offer to fix her up on a blind date and she would scream.
“Nothing serious?”
“Connie, no.”
“Good, because I’ve found the perfect man. He’s single, good-looking, a bit quiet, but—”
Her internal scream took flight. “But I’m not interested. I’ve told you a hundred times. Two hundred times.” Before her sister said another word, she darted back to the living room doorway, her gaze on Rick. “Anyway, I’m seeing someone right now.” Her eyes locked with his.
“You are.” The decibels ripped through her eardrum. “What’s he like? Is he good-looking? You can’t leave me hanging.”
The thought of hanging sounded good at the moment—preferably Connie. “I have to go, sis. Talk later.” Sh
e hit the end-call button before her sister resisted further.
She exhaled. As she gazed at Rick, her imagination soared. She wished they were... Impossible. They were friends. “Sorry.” She looked at his inquisitive face, and her heart skipped. “Can I offer you a cup of coffee or something before you go?” She glanced over her shoulder at the boxes piled in her kitchen. “If I can locate the coffeemaker.”
He chuckled, a sound she loved to hear. His smile and laugh always made her happy. She waited, hoping he would stay.
Rick eyed the boxes and grinned at her. “How many hours will it take?”
She managed a feeble smile, her mind still clinging to her sort-of lie. “I need the distraction.” She beckoned him into the kitchen and headed for the boxes.
“Let me help.” His voice came through the doorway before he did.
Rick’s gaze followed her as she dug deep in a carton and, before she had a moment, he slipped the box from her hand while his eyes searched hers. She sensed he wanted to say something, yet couldn’t, and it left her confused.
Without direction from her, Rick located the pot and the individual brewing cups and popped them into the machine and added water. “Mugs?”
She waved her hand at the boxes. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
He shrugged and in a moment gave her a victorious look. “Voilà!” He held the mugs in his hand, then placed a cup on the coffeemaker and hit the brew button.
She loved seeing him appear comfortable making coffee and being domestic. “You surprise me.”
“Why?” He glanced over his shoulder, then grasped the mug and brought it to her.
The scent of coffee eased her tension. “You look experienced in the kitchen.”
“It’s that or starve.” He popped in another cup and turned back to her. “It’s one of those things single men with a child have to do.” He looked at her again before smiling and turning back to the coffeemaker.
His daughter hadn’t entered her mind. Though he’d mentioned Carly on occasion, Angie sensed he would rather not talk about his situation for some reason. “Coffee tastes good.”
Love Inspired June 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: The Cowboy's HomecomingThe Amish Widow's SecretSafe in the Fireman's Arms Page 18