The Space Between (The Book of Phoenix)

by Kristie Cook

  “But how?”

  “By once again choosing to be Guardians. For hundreds of life-cycles, you’ve both chosen this path—to be protectors of the Gates. On Earth, the Guardians are often Separated souls that have re-Bonded. They are called the Phoenix. Joining the Phoenix had been a natural choice for both of you.”

  “But . . . I’m here. I didn’t fight at all. I didn’t guard anything.”

  The Keeper let out a heavy sigh. “You were not strong enough, child. Neither of you. You lost your powers of the Union when you were Separated, and you fought the Lakari before you were Forged. Your souls were not ready for such a fight, and their darkness overcame you. Although The Maker has His plan and I don’t know it, I assume you needed this life cycle to reacclimate yourselves to Earth and to living as the Separated. You didn’t remember anything and were only beginning to put the pieces together. You’d barely started to re-Bond, let alone make it to the Gate to be Forged and receive your missions. Thank goodness you made it as far as you did!”

  My mind tried to grasp at these elusive memories, but only became boggled. None of this sounded familiar at all. “A Gate? Forged? Missions? Re-Bond?”

  An orb turned pink and the Keeper disappeared. He returned in a moment and picked up where we left off.

  “You and Micah had a brief re-Bonding, but it wasn’t enough. If you’d had more time or had come to remember and understand what you needed to do sooner, you would have known to strengthen your Bond and get to the Gate.”

  “But what is this Gate?” I asked again.

  Instead of answering me, his head lifted and turned, and at the same time, a warm feeling swelled within me. “Ah. Here’s the one you know as Micah now. That explanation will have to wait. We must hurry with him so you both can move on.”

  A blue light streaked toward me and collided into my soul. Micah’s presence curled around and within me, a bittersweet feeling. I beamed to have him with me again, but my light dulled knowing the tough but sweet Micah I knew no longer blessed Earth with his existence. Our energies swirled together, but our souls weren’t able to Bond as one, to become a Union again.

  “That will take more than this one life cycle,” the Keeper said. “You will have to grow into that level of completeness once again.”

  Micah didn’t understand, so the Keeper patiently but hurriedly went through everything we’d discussed, and Micah’s memories, like mine, eventually returned. As we continued to encircle the pool, the Keeper broke away every now and then to tend to another pink orb.

  “And now it is your turn to choose,” the Keeper said when he returned to us from one such orb. “You may choose to be a Guardian again, or you may choose differently. Just remember—Guardians lead the most difficult lives. No matter what world you choose, your life will be hard, preparing you for your service. You may return to Earth or you may choose another world.”

  He explained the other worlds that were our choices, including two I remembered and loved.

  “This choice you must each make on your own,” the Keeper said. “Heed well that if the two of you do not choose the same, your souls could forever be Separated. Only The Maker knows what you will decide, so do not ask me.”

  Like last time, the choice seemed obvious to me. We were warriors. We’d always been Guardians. And we needed to fight the dark spirits on Earth. But when I tried to share this with Micah, I couldn’t. The direct thought, the words, even the feeling became imprisoned within me.

  “We can’t decide together?” I asked.

  “No. I am sorry,” the Keeper said.

  “Why not?” Micah demanded. “If our souls are at risk of growing Dark . . .”

  “It is called free will. An individual choice for one’s future. Some may want to take the risk of going Dark in exchange for other benefits, while others would not. Each soul has the right and responsibility to decide its own fate without outside influence.”

  Whoa. That was heavy. And irrefutable. I could only hope Micah felt in his soul the same as I did. That he would choose the same future as me.

  “You must choose simultaneously,” the Keeper added. “Time and space here are different than in the physical worlds. If one of you goes and the other hesitates, even for only a click or two, years could go by in your physical world. If you’re separated by too many years, you may never find each other again. And you must choose quickly. You’ve spent too much time here already.”

  “But we have more questions,” I protested.

  “Your answers will come at the Gate. We need as many Guardian souls on the worlds as possible, and since you are useless to us until you reach adulthood, the sooner you go, the better for all. Assuming you follow your previous decisions, of course.”

  Well, when he put it like that . . .

  Within a short moment, Micah’s orb turned bright pink. He’d chosen so quickly! I believed he’d want to be together and hoped his hasty decision meant he agreed with me—Earth needed us as Guardians. Knowing him, the goodness of his soul, that would surely be his choice.

  The Keeper moved to the edge of the pool with Micah, but as much as I tried, I couldn’t budge while they whispered to each other. I wanted to say, “Good-bye.” No, “See you soon.” But I was stuck, and panic began to rise because I had no idea when I would see Micah again. When we would be reunited, if ever. I needed to feel him in and around me one more time. I needed to say, “I love you.”

  Micah must have felt something from me because he returned a wave of love before soaring high into the air and then diving into the pool, his soul whooshing away from me into a sea of light.

  “I’m ready,” I said, not wanting to delay, and a bright pink light surrounded me.

  “I’m not surprised he went first,” the Keeper said as he returned to my side and guided me to the edge of the pool. “He’ll always be your protector.”

  My pink light faltered. “What?”

  “You are his light. He is your protector. You are a fiery soul, showing him the way, allowing him to lead in battle, but lighting the paths he must take. In this past life, however, you shone too brightly. You must learn to control the fire burning within you and use it for good. In turn, he will do whatever it takes to protect your soul, including going first to find you sooner, to keep you safe.”

  My protector. Micah had certainly been protective of me, without knowing about any of this. Now, with this knowledge and especially with what had happened to bring us here, he’d probably be even more so. What if he hadn’t chosen Earth after all because of the dangers of Enyxa and her Lakari? What if he’d chosen to not be a Guardian, expecting me to do the same so we’d both be safe? What if he’d chosen one of the other worlds—like the one constantly blanketed with green mist that I loved so much? My pink light dimmed even more with my indecision.

  A clicking sound rose from the pool. Time had gone by. I had no idea how much, but I had to hurry if we were even to have a chance.

  But what if I chose the wrong world? What if Micah and I never found each other? What if I never saw him, felt him, loved him, held him, Bonded with him again? How could I choose when there was so much at stake? If I chose wrong, our souls would go Dark. Micah’s beautiful soul would turn black and cold.

  Always stay true to your heart and soul.

  A whispered voice from deep within. And I knew where I needed to go. At least, I hoped I did. My pink light grew bright again.

  As I prepared to make my own dive, the Keeper gave me final instructions, though I could barely stay still with anxiety. I needed to go.

  Another click sounded.

  Without waiting for the Keeper to finish, I jolted skyward, then sank into the pool with my choice, the Keeper’s voice in my soul calling after me.

  “Live well, Jacquelena.”

  Chapter 27

  Jacq
uelena. My name echoed in my head, and my eyes flew open.

  “Oh. My. God.”

  My breath caught in my lungs with the epiphany, and my heart paused before taking off in a gallop. Could it be true?

  “No. Impossible.” I shook my head, curls hitting my chin. “No freakin’ way.”

  The idea was so absurd I couldn’t believe my lame imagination had even come up with it.

  Twin Flames. Separated souls pulling to each other like magnets. Reincarnation? Really?

  I closed my eyes, needing to clear my head because this was insane. Strange, yet vaguely familiar images filled my mind, scrolling by as though I relived memories. Jacey had described her imaginary world with its castle and two suns so vividly, I felt as though I’d been there, too. Now I knew I had been there. My mind—my memory—traveled to yet another world, covered almost entirely in water and ice, its sole sun small as Earth’s moon, but the people around happy and content. Visions of more worlds flashed quickly then slowed as I returned to Earth, but not the Earth I knew. Rustic villages and crudely built wagons and women in dresses of earlier times—centuries ago. And even farther back, of Ancient Greece.

  Every time, every place, I felt Jeric right there with me. Different eyes, different faces and bodies, but the exact same soul within. I felt his soul. In some of those foreign worlds, our souls were entwined, united, a single entity. A Union. On Earth, however, we were separate, before the Union. Soul Mates then—two souls made for each other. His appearance changed as my mind traveled backward through the centuries, but he was always right there. Always by my side, always taking care of me. Always loving me.

  He was Jeremicah.

  I was Jacquelena.

  He was Micah.

  I was Jacey.

  No wonder I’d felt such a deep connection to him from the very beginning. No wonder I felt this soul-bound love for him so soon. Because it had always been there, waiting for him. Waiting for his return.

  I didn’t have to deny my love for him, because it was too soon by normal standards. I’d loved him for eons. Forever.

  Jeric must have figured this out last night—the reason for his freak-out. I couldn’t blame him. The guy had kept people, especially women, out of his life for a reason. And now to know we were really soul-bound? To have it confirmed and to realize we’d been together forever? That we’d actually been one soul before? I could barely accept the ridiculous concept myself. But I knew what I felt, and he had to be feeling it, too. This kind of love would scare the hell out of him, especially when he was so sure no one could love him. It had probably set him off more than anything else and sent him running.

  I sprang to my feet. Jeric. My heart—my soul—needed him. He needed me. I had to find him.

  But how? I had no idea when he’d actually left, how long he’d been gone. A few hours, possibly all night. He could have taken off shortly after I’d fallen asleep. He could be anywhere!

  No. You feel him.

  A lump of fear that I’d never find him, never see him again, had formed in my throat, and I swallowed it down. Jacey and Micah had been able to feel each other’s presence miles away. And they could feel the pull when the distance was too much. Could I? I didn’t feel a tug. But when I concentrated, I did feel Jeric’s presence still in my heart, in my soul. He couldn’t be far. I tried to steady my heart rate so I could focus on locating exactly where I felt him, but failed. My emotions and thoughts were all over the place.

  But I had to find him.

  I shot out of the camper and down the dirt road.

  “Jeric!” I screamed, knowing he couldn’t hear me but maybe someone was with him. “Jeric!”

  I darted down the dirt lane, zigzagging back and forth, calling his name. Like a madwoman, I pounded on an RV’s door and when no one answered, I went to the next one. People came out of their campers, staring at me, but nobody answered my pleas for help. My legs pushed me toward the front of the campground, and I could feel his presence growing stronger.

  The front office came into sight, and I sprinted for it, my mind, my heart, my soul focused on Jeric. And there he was, in the doorway of the apartment connected to the office, stumbling and squinting against the bright afternoon sun. I’d never been so happy to see anyone in my life.

  “Jeric,” I yelled again. He turned toward me as if he could hear me. Ran to meet me, his hands flying in front of him.

  “Are you okay?” he asked as he ran, his face full of concern.

  “Yes! I’m fine,” I said aloud, hoping he could read my lips as we ran to each other. “I know! I know, Jeric! You and me—”

  Behind him, on the periphery of my vision, Bethany’s red head appeared in the same doorway Jeric had come from, along with the rest of her body, which was barely covered in cut-off shorts not much bigger than a bikini bottom and a halter top. Another young woman with darker hair and clad as skimpily appeared next to Bethany, both of them staring at Jeric. My gaze focused on him, my mind taking in what it hadn’t seen at first, blinded by the thrill of him actually being there when I thought I’d lost him.

  I stopped dead in my tracks.

  Now I really saw him.

  Saw his disheveled hair, as if he’d just woken up at 3:30 in the afternoon. The shoes in his hand. His bare chest, sunlight glinting off the nipple rings. His undone belt buckle, the ends hanging loosely on each side of his unbuttoned fly, the hunter green fabric of his boxers or briefs or whatever he wore showing.

  I stood there dumbfounded, blinking against the image in front of me, against the bright sun, against the sting in my eyes. Trying to blink it all away, but it was still there, the truth in plain view. A half-naked Jeric—my Twin Flame, my forever love—stumbling out of the home of a girl dressed like a Playboy model.

  So much for him remembering what I had. So much for his not wanting any girl anymore but me. So much for him being patient.

  I’d had it all wrong. How unbelievably stupid I was!

  He’d bolted last night because of me. Because I’d pushed him away. And he’d run to the first girl who’d open her legs for him, which, of course, was the first girl he’d come across. Jacey had been right about men, and I’d known it all along, the reason I was a virgin. I was just glad I was still a virgin today.

  People had come out of their campers at all the ruckus I’d created, and I felt the burn of their stares now. They probably waited in anticipation for some white trash, trailer park drama to erupt, but I refused to be their source of entertainment.

  “We’re them,” both my mouth and hands said, finishing my thought on their own. Then I spun on my heel and strode down the dirt road for my Airstream.

  Chapter 28

  Leni’s panicked emotional state had ripped me out of deep unconsciousness. I had no idea where I was—on a couch, wood paneled walls, an old woman sitting in a rocking chair with a shotgun over her lap—but only cared about getting to Leni. I stumbled through the door, squinting against the brightest fucking day in the history of time. I couldn’t see shit, but I could feel her. I turned in her direction, my own panic matching hers, and ran, barely noticing the gravel digging into my bare feet as I asked if she was okay.

  She stopped mid-stride and stared at me with a pained expression that tore at my heart, ripped me in half, making me think I was going to die right there.

  Her lips moved and so did her hands. “We’re them.”

  Then she spun and strode to the camper, and I simply stood there like a damn idiot. She didn’t run, but only walked, her shoulders squared back and her head held high. I followed after her, but when I reached the camper’s door, she shut it in my face. The camper didn’t shake—she hadn’t slammed it. But I could feel her anger. Real anger. And her quiet fury was much more terrifying than a violent storm.

  I tried the knob, but she’d locked the door. I
pounded on it, more to let her know I was here, wasn’t going anywhere, than expecting her to actually open it. If I’d really wanted in, the flimsy door wouldn’t have stopped me. I decided to wait it out knowing she’d quickly get over her anger as she always did, and then I’d have to face what had ripped through my core last night. I sat on my old friend the picnic table and dropped my pounding head in my hands.

  I couldn’t blame her for being mad at me. She’d obviously remembered what I had last night. A truth beyond anything either of us could have ever expected. And I’d reacted like a damn moron. Stormed off and drank myself to oblivion. Like that helped anything.

  Yeah, she had a right to be angry.

  She calmed down after a while—I could sense it. Not the quiet but frightening aura she’d had a few moments ago, but a real sense of calm. I stepped off the picnic table and strode to the camper door. I stood on the single metal step, but instead of trying the knob or knocking again, I leaned my forehead against the smooth surface of the door, ashamed of myself. The door opened, and I fell through it.

  I scrambled to stand, relief washing over me as I threw my arms around Leni and pulled her to me. She stood completely still, her arms stiffly at her sides, not returning my hug. She was still mad. Reluctantly, I let go of her and stepped back.

  “I’m sorry,” I signed hurriedly. “I’m sorry for being a fuck-up. I’m sorry for rushing out on you and taking off. It was all too much. You . . . me . . . I . . .” Shit. My fingers fumbled as I tried to form the words.

  She grabbed my hands to stop me. “Enough. I get it. You are who you are, Jeric. I can’t change that.”