How You Touch Me

by Natalie Kristen

  “Yes?” I prompt. “What does it involve?”

  He looks straight at me. “Cunnilingus.”

  My jaw drops.

  “Your physiological responses will be monitored as cunnilingus is performed on you,” he explains in a strained voice. “The stimulation, the sensation of being licked and kissed and sucked...” His throat moves as he leans forward. “...can be done either by the machine, or...a person...”

  “A person?” I jump on the words. “You mean...you can...you can do this?” I ask, a sudden heat spearing down my body.

  He nods, his eyes burning into me.

  The fluttering in my stomach spreads lower down my body and I suddenly forget to breathe. The real reason, the unspoken reason why Julian is afraid, suddenly pierces through my mind and stabs deep into my gut. Julian is afraid, because after fighting so hard and holding back for so long, he can finally touch me and taste me at last. He wants me but he is afraid that I'd say no. He wants to touch me, and he wants me to feel the exquisite pleasure he can give me. He knows the crazy heights of passion he can drive me to. That's why he is afraid my body will not be able to take it. He is afraid that he is going to drive both of us out of our minds.

  I have to swallow a couple of times before I can trust my voice enough to speak. “Julian, I am here because I signed the contract,” I say, struggling to keep my voice steady. “The contract stipulates clearly what we each have to do. I am to help you in your research, do whatever you require me to do, allow you to monitor me with that machine, and you are to pay me the agreed sum at the end of the contract period.”

  Julian's gaze is steady and he nods firmly to acknowledge the contractual terms. I study him in silence for a long while. He doesn't flinch. His eyes don't shift and look away. His hands and lips don't tremble and there is no perceptible change in his breathing and demeanor. I continue searching his face for any sign of doubt or deception. If he doesn't intend to pay me, he will guess that I am on to him.

  “Yes. I intend to honor every term and condition of the contract. I have undertaken to ensure your well-being and safety, and I will. You will be paid in full at the end of three weeks. You did test the machine very satisfactorily, so you have already performed your end of the contract. There is nothing for you to worry about. The contract is entirely valid. You can take me to court if I refuse to pay you. I can't run. I don't intend to. You're safe,” he addresses my unspoken concern simply and succinctly.

  I look down for a moment, slightly embarrassed that he has read my mind. I wonder if he can read my body as well. I lace and unlace my fingers to keep my hands from shaking. His words reverberate through every nerve in my body. The next stage of the experiment...involves him going down on me. Images of him holding me, spreading me wide, licking and probing me with his mouth and his tongue flash painfully through my mind. He will drive me wild with desire; just the thought of him tasting me is already making me hot and wet. I snap my eyes up to see him studying me quietly. My face feels hot, and I wonder briefly if he can see the aching need that is overtaking my body. I'm sure he can. He studies human sexuality, and he can probably read me like a book. I might as well just spit it out to save us both the agony.

  “I want to do this.” I gulp and speak as quickly, as loudly and as evenly as I can. “This is your research, and I want to do what I am contracted to do. If the next stage of the experiment involves cunnilingus, then do it. But I want you to do it. Not the machine. I want you.” I tilt my chin up and stare at him boldly. My false bravado is betrayed only by the tremor in my last sentence.

  Julian's lips part but he is speechless. The minutes tick by and I start to squirm under his gaze. Have I been too forward and foolish? Did I assume and imagine that he might want to touch me and taste me? Maybe he would have preferred that the machine do the job. My face begins to feel uncomfortably hot and I'm sure that I must be beetroot red by now.

  I stare at the floor and stutter, “If you...d-don't want to do it...”

  I hear him inhale sharply. “Sophia. Don't you know how much I want you? I've wanted to put my mouth on you for so long. I've dreamed and I've fantasized and I've struggled so hard. To have my lips directly on you, on the most intimate part of your body. The thought is enough to drive me out of my mind. I want you. And I don't think I can wait.” The heat flares in his dark eyes as he growls, “I want to do it to you. Right. Now!”

  With that, he grips my wrist and yanks me up from my seat. I whimper in shock, but I don't resist. Still gripping my wrist, he pulls me up the stairs, two at a time, as I lurch after him. A strange fear and thrill is churning in my gut. His raw lust and fierce need is scaring me and turning me on at the same time. His hands are forceful and strong, and he starts to strip me even before I have made it through the door. He turns and pulls the t-shirt over my head. Before my t-shirt has touched the floor, he is already on his knees, sliding my shorts and panties down my legs. He is staring at my sex with a predatory hunger. I close my eyes, wondering if he is going to devour me right now. I feel his hands moving up my waist, to my back and with a snap, the clasp of my bra comes undone. He slides the straps of my bra down my shoulder to uncover my breasts and I hear him take a ragged breath as the bra lands between our feet.

  He steers me to the machine and pulls my arms up to cuff my wrists. I stand, rotating on my feet to watch him pound something into the keyboard and control panel. He steps up to me and immediately, I see the curved glass surface of the sphere seal shut.

  “Just a while,” he mutters. “Let the machine record your breathing, heart rate and other patterns first before I...”

  Before I go down on you.

  And kiss and taste you.

  And lick you senseless.

  And make you come with my mouth, in my mouth.

  Julian's eyes burn deep into me, staring past my defenses and seeing the wounds and the desire in my heart, in my soul. His every breath speaks of his raging lust and need, and I shiver at the thought of what he is going to do to me. He is standing barely an inch from me, my bare skin brushing against the fabric of his clothes. How I wish he was naked as well, but there is something incredibly erotic in seeing him fully clothed and in control while I am completely naked and helpless before him. I am utterly in his control, cuffed and naked, while he has exposed nothing of himself. This takes a tremendous amount of trust and tenderness. With a start and a small jolt of fear, I realize that I have, at this moment, given myself over to him.

  I stare into Julian's dark, brown eyes and twist slightly in my cuffs. This is the first time that I am on my feet, instead of on my back, in the machine. This is also the first time that I am not alone in the sphere. Julian puts his hands on my waist to steady me, and I tremble at the contact. His fingers move over my curves, feeling every inch of me. Julian's eyes and hands rake up and down my body, as if he can't believe that his hands are actually holding and touching my naked body.

  His hands move down to cup and knead the fleshy swell of my butt. I moan softly as he lowers himself and his hands trail down the length of my legs. Kneeling in front of me, he eases my legs apart and pushes his face towards me.

  Chapter Six

  Julian starts slowly and gently, licking and kissing me lightly on the insides of my thighs. Raising his head, he takes a tentative lick at my clit and I shudder. He licks again, more forcefully this time, pressing against my swelling nub with his lips and tongue. Gripping the insides of my thighs to force them further apart, he swirls his tongue in slow, small circles around my clit. I am getting so wet and when I clench my vagina walls I can feel my juices being squeezed down my thigh. Julian's fingers spread my wetness over my thighs as he presses his lips to my pussy and starts to kiss me. His kisses start soft and slow, then increases in pressure and urgency. He laps at my clit, savoring it, grazing his teeth over it then kissing and sucking it. The contrast between the hardness of his teeth and the softness of his lips makes me throw my head back and cry out in pleasure. I am so wet now, and I
just want him to push inside of me.

  Sensing my need, Julian raises my legs and hooks them over his broad shoulders. I am now suspended with my arms over my head and my legs resting on Julian's shoulders. His hands grab my buttocks to support my weight. Losing my footing and suspended thus is even more erotic than I'd imagined. I pant in anticipation and desire, resisting the plea that is rising to my throat.

  Julian glances up at me and his eyes are full of lust. With our eyes locked, he gradually lowers his face to my pussy and his tongue starts to explore my vagina. He licks along my vagina lips, and kisses them, licking and sucking them until they are red and throbbing. He kisses my pussy lips as though he was kissing my mouth. I squirt even more of my juices, and I have to close my eyes to block out the intensely erotic sight of Julian taking me in his mouth. I can feel his tongue pushing against my vagina, lapping at the wetness and seeking my slit. He explores my opening, tickling it with quick movements before penetrating me suddenly. My eyes fly open with a gasp. He is deep inside me, moving slowly, tasting as much of me as he can. He flicks his tongue in and out of me, making me writhe in exquisite agony.

  Moving his mouth quickly to my clit again, he sucks hard and long at my swollen nub, making me clench hard as the first wave of my orgasm starts to pound through my body. Julian licks me furiously, his tongue relentlessly punishing and pleasuring my engorged clitoris. I throw my head back as a powerful orgasm slams into me. My whole body shudders violently and Julian wraps his arm around me protectively and possessively as I come. When the waves of explosive pleasure subside, he looks up at me and I see a smirk on his face. His lips are glistening with my juices and he licks his lips and his eyes flutter shut briefly. He inhales deeply, breathing in the scent of my sex and my arousal. His lust-glazed eyes snap to the monitors at the side of the machine and he untangles himself from me gently. Lowering my shaky legs to the floor, he helps me stand and asks softly, “Are you all right?”

  I nod, unable to speak.

  With another glance at the monitors, he pulls me towards him and I feel his fierce erection at my belly. Circling my torso with his hands, he bends his head towards my chest. I gasp sharply when I feel his mouth on my left breast, and he starts to suckle me. Blinking, I stare down at Julian's head, at the sight of him sucking and tasting me with his eyes closed. I long to run my hands through his wavy, tousled hair and press him even closer to me. My hands jerk against my restraints as Julian sucks on my nipple, pulling it erect. His hands move up and down my back, holding me tenderly in his embrace as he licks and sucks on my nipple.

  Disengaging himself, he stares at my wet, erect nipple for a moment and kisses it softly. Without looking up at me, he moves to my other breast and starts sucking it hard. My whole breast is in his mouth and he pulls it deeper in, towards his throat. I feel his tongue moving along the curve of my breast to find my nipple. He begins to tease and torture it, licking, biting and sucking it in turn.

  I arch my back sharply, pushing against his face. His fingers dig into my waist as he flicks his tongue in a frenzied motion over my nipples. I am panting so hard, a tortured sound escaping from me as I raise one leg and hook it around him. I want him to go down on me again. I am so near, cresting up the cliff. He just has to push me over the edge.

  With one final, fierce suck on my breast, Julian hoists my leg up with a hand under my knee and kneels. He doesn't wait. His mouth is on my vagina lips, kissing me hard. His tongue works furiously over my clit, my whole pussy, my opening. Nipping and sucking at my pulsing nub, he thrusts his tongue into my slit and tongue fucks me with a vengeance. He thrusts hard and fast, going as deep as he can. I tighten over his mouth, shivering at the impending, inevitable climax. With one final thrust, I explode, screaming his name as I come. I don't know if the glass surface of the sphere shattered with my scream but when I open my eyes, I have been released completely. Without the restraints to hold me up, I collapse into Julian's arms, and he holds me tightly while I try to collect my splintered thoughts and senses.

  He strokes my hair softly, whispering my name over and over again. “Sophia, darling, how are you feeling?” he asks at last, looking worriedly into my face.

  I look down, and see that he has gotten his erection under control. I smile shakily. “I'm good, so good.” I put my arms around him, and he pulls a blanket off a side table and wraps it around me.

  I twist round to glance over my shoulder at the beeping monitors. “Did you...get what you want?” I ask, referring to the readings.

  Julian waits for me to turn back to him. Pulling me closer to him, he holds my chin and tilts my face up. “Yes. And what I want, is this.” With these words, he crushes his lips to mine. I blink repeatedly, the air whooshing out of my lungs. I feel his lips kissing and caressing my lips tenderly, hungrily, longingly, but I can't believe it. Is he...is he really kissing me? Julian pulls back, feeling me tense and shiver in his arms.

  I stare up at him, at his lips which are still wet from my juices. “Did you just kiss me?” I mumble, confused and delirious.

  “Yes, and I am going to kiss you again.”

  “B-but, but...your research...” I stammer.

  “The machine got everything, all our responses. My breathing, your heart rate, our pulses, every change and reaction in both our minds and bodies. It's all good. It is perfect.” He smooths the hair from my face. “It's done.”

  “Done? So...are you saying that—” I gulp. “That your work is done? And...I—I am no longer needed?”

  “Not needed? Sophia, I need you,” he says fiercely. “I need you and I want you,” he whispers.

  The searing hunger and longing in his eyes both thrills and terrifies me. “Julian,” I begin softly. “You just gave me the most earth-shattering orgasm. I can hardly stand up right now.”

  He laughs, his face creasing with deep happiness and amusement. I reach up to cup his handsome, happy face. This is something I could get used to. Seeing his laugh, hearing him laugh, feeling him laugh.

  “I'm glad to hear that,” he smirks and the lust in his eyes deepen. There is an unspoken promise that this will not be the last orgasm he will be giving me.

  His expression becomes serious, and he grabs me. “I will give you more and I will take you, Sophia,” he growls. “But not tonight.” His voice softens. “Tonight I just want you to sleep with me. Just sleep, and feel safe with me. I just want to hold you and have you in my bed. And wake up with you in my arms. Tonight, and every...” He stops himself, seeing my eyes round.

  Tenderly, he holds my face, running his thumbs over my eyelids, my cheeks, my lips. “I have watched you and felt you, Sophia. I can hear the buried fear and hurt in your words. You are a lot like me. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. You handle your emotions and your life in a manner that is startlingly similar to how I handle mine. I've watched you swim your cares away in the pool. You swim lap after lap, not stopping to rest or catch your breath. You just want to exercise and exhaust your body, to block out the world as you listen to the muted sounds through the water. I've seen how your express and resist your urges, and how scared you are to trust anyone. I know, Sophia. I know how hard it is for you to put your trust and your body in my hands. I have seen and feel you struggle. It tore my heart to pieces, but I know I have to give you time. I don't want to press you. I want to protect you. And...I wanted to protect myself. From the moment I saw you and heard your voice and held you, I was attracted to you. I can't explain it. It just hit me hard. And then I talked to you, saw your fears and your tears, your smile and your strength, and I just kept falling faster and harder. I'm still falling, Sophia. I don't think I will ever stop falling for you.”

  If Julian wasn't holding me tightly, I think my legs would have given way right there and then. I lean into his embrace, my mind reeling. He has just broken down all his walls and allowed me into his heart. The magnitude of what he has just said, what he has just done, hits me hard and I suddenly bury my face in his solid chest,
stifling a sob.

  I'm still falling, Sophia.

  I hadn't imagined that. That—wasn't my imagination.

  It's real.

  And those three, soft words were real too.

  I hadn't imagined him whispering those three precious words to me. He had spoken them when he thought that I was fast asleep. I look up at him, and say through my tears, “Tell me.”

  “Tell you what?” he murmurs, kissing my forehead.

  “Tell me what you told me in my room, when you tucked me into bed and watched me sleep. Tell me what you said to me when you thought I was sleeping. Tell me what you could only say when you thought I couldn't hear you.”

  His mouth falls open. His wide-eyed, stunned expression last only for a second. Bewilderment ripples into amusement, and a smile creeps across his features. “Oh, Sophia.” He kisses my hair, and suddenly looks embarrassed. “You heard everything.”

  “Yes I did.”

  “Okay, so—since you heard everything, tell me.” He turns the tables on me. “Tell me what I said.”

  “You...” I bite my lip. “You said...you said that...”

  “I love you,” he finishes.

  I jerk my head up.

  He looks deep into my eyes and repeats in a whisper, “I love you, Sophia.”

  Tears spring to my eyes. I try to pull away, but Julian doesn't release me.

  “Sophia,” he says softly, looking searchingly at me. “Can you...talk to me?”

  “What?”

  “Talk to me, about you.”

  I gape at him. “Why?” I manage to breathe at last.

  “I want to know more about you. I want to know all about you. I want to know you, Sophia.” He takes my face tenderly in his hands.

  I try to look away, but he won't let me. “Look at me, Sophia. Look at me. What do you see?” He tilts my chin up gently.