Sweet Surrender

by Jeanie Freeman-Harper

  As for Adele? She felt nothing at all and was amazed at her own actions at Bayou Shadows. “I was lost in the past in the hospital. There were days when I thought we were newlyweds again. I loved him in the beginning, but he didn’t believe it when I told him, so I stopped saying it. Eventually, I stopped feeling it. He thought no one could love him, because he didn’t love himself. He turned mean. On the bad days and nights, God help me, I would run off to be with the man who became your father. I never called him Jace. He was so elegant and noble, I called him by the given name of Jacques. My conscience nagged at me, and I began to drink to dull the reality of what I had done. I neglected you and myself as well.”

  She leaned forward and took her daughter's hands, and that small demonstration of affection was awkward for both. The crystal blue doll eyes pleaded for understanding. “I’m not a good person, daughter. Don’t expect too much of me.”

  Eva found herself falling into that old velvet trap of pity. She no longer struggled but surrendered to it, even as she held her mind above it. “I take you as you are, Mama. I try never to expect much from anyone, any way.”

  The minute the words were out of her mouth, she knew she had lied. There was one person who had offered her honesty and steadfastness, more than any other person. Gabriel Martin had saved her inheritance with his hard work and her life and that of others at his own risk. She knew that whatever, whomever, kept him returning to Austin was honorable and worthwhile—even if it took him from her forever.

  ***

  Colette received the news of Alex’s death and took the bus over from Big Mamou to join the family in the scattering of ashes. Gabe took her aside after the ceremony to let her know he had quietly done his own investigative work regarding the cane field fire, and he promised her he would clear her name. “According to the arson investigator, the fire was caused by something other than a cigarette butt...an ignitable fluid like gasoline most likely.”

  “You mean…”

  “I mean the fire was deliberately set.”

  “Jamais d’la vie! Alex for sure... after everything else…”

  “The fire did happen the day after he hit town. A temporary teenage clerk was working at the checkout at the Farm and Ranch that week. He sold only one five gallon can of gasoline during that time, since it's not mowing or harvesting season yet. All other gas purchases were vehicle fill-ups. The boy remembers asking the customer if he had run out of gas on the road and needed a lift back. He says the man was obnoxious and acted as if he’d been drinking. He told him to mind his own business. The kid also remembers selling the man an expensive hunting knife with a unique camouflage patterned handle. It was the only one sold. His description of the customer—middle aged, Cajun and obviously an avid hunter.”

  “That would describe Alex alright. Nadine put the cuja on him.”

  “That would describe over half the men in Louisiana, Colette.”

  18

  Jace Quan had come to the cane fields with a purpose. He had come to see Eva who was surveying the crop before the burning off of foliage— the time honored procedure that left the stalks bare for cutting. It had always been, for her, a disconcerting event. As a child, she had dreaded the loss of the rustling waves of green that provided a hideout from the world. Now there was no more hiding, for she was no longer a child. She felt no need to hide when she saw the man who was her father— spruced up after a week on Destiny trawling for shrimp.

  “Miss Lejeune, I would like to help Gabriel Martin with the harvest, if it’s alright with you. I would also like to call you my daughter...if you allow it.”

  “If you are Jacques Quan, son of Lucien, and I believe that you are, you have that right. It’s not every day a woman acquires a secret father.”

  “You were ready for truth, and it was you who found it. Mother and I hope you will feel it was worth the effort. She asks your forgiveness for not telling you everything the day you came to see her. She wanted very much to tell you she was your grandmother.”

  “There is nothing to forgive.”

  She appraised the man standing before her and saw herself in his almond shaped eyes and heart shaped face. The blood ties could not be denied. How strange to think she had not noticed before. He could be no worse than Alex—the unwilling counterfeit father whose ashes now drifted from the Gulf of Mexico to the Atlantic Ocean, taking the past with them.

  “What will happen between you and Mama?”

  “I would like to marry Adele, if you give us your blessing.”

  “She’s stable enough to speak for herself. Does Grandmother Mai approve?”

  “Yes, she has always had a soft heart for Adele. Maybe we all can learn to be a family and help each other. Lucien no longer casts the long shadow over our path.”

  “Only time will tell. I no longer feel his presence, now that all the secrets have met with light of day. And yes, we would be happy to have you come at harvestime.”

  ***

  There came another who wished to be a bigger part of her life. Gabriel Martin and she walked the fields of burgeoning cane with Rambo trotting ahead. They were content to walk for awhile without the need for words. Gabe cut a piece of stalk and peeled back the woody exterior to savor the sweet pulp inside. “Full of sugar, and ready for the mills. Combined with the shrimp business, you’ll be able to pay off most of the bank loan, and next season’s crop will be even better. You have my formula. You’ll no longer need my services.” He glanced sideways at her, but she kept her eyes straight ahead.

  As they walked, the sunlight slanted through dense foliage, breaking into pinpoints of light that sprinkled flecks of gold into his eyes. She felt their power to render her helpless. “Say what you have to say, Gabriel.”

  “There’s so much I want to tell you. The timing never seems right. I wish I had met you long ago. Maybe I could have been your champion when you needed one.” He touched a lock of hair that had blown against her cheek and felt its soft silky texture between his fingers. “You’re not easy, you know? You’re the most self-disciplined, self-contained woman I’ve ever met. That’s what makes you a survivor, but now you can let down your guard. I’m here. You’re no longer alone, unless you want to be. Just say the words that need to be said.”

  Her reply came softly, without looking directly at him. “If I’m ‘not easy’, as you say, then why are you standing here in the middle of a Louisiana cane field ? You could be in Texas right now with that someone who must be a lot more pliable.”

  “Why do I bother? I’ll tell you why…”

  He was stopped mid-sentence by Rambo’s frantic bark, followed by a guttural growl. The dog was nowhere to be seen, and so they pushed their way through the thick cane following the sound of distress. “Oh no, Gabe. Someone’s trying to hurt Rambo!”

  “Shhh. He’s flushing someone out of the cane. Someone was watching us.”

  They came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the field where they found Jasper Landry was on the ground with the tail of his shirt between Rambo’s jaws. “Get this devil off me, or I’ll cut him up. I swear I will!”

  In his hand was a hunting knife with a camouflage handle.

  “Rambo! Come to me,” Gabe commanded, and Rambo obeyed.

  He jerked Jasper to his feet. “So it was you. You bought that knife the day you filled the five gallon can of gasoline.”

  Jasper’s broad jawline tensed, and his dark eyes narrowed. “What makes you say that?”

  “Does it matter? You set the fields on fire.”

  “Are you accusing me?”

  “Tell me something. Why were you sneaking around out here?”

  Jasper struggled to his feet. “I had to know what you're up to. I figured you’re plotting to get rid of me...filling Eva’s head with nonsense. You’ve been spying on me, haven’t you?”

  “Funny thing about guilt. It makes you paranoid. You just incriminated yourself, and now you’re in lots of trouble.”

  Jasper lunged at Gabe who stepped asid
e, causing Jasper to tumble and come up, knife still in hand. Rambo growled, ready to defend his master.

  “Eva, hold Rambo by the collar!” Gabe shouted. “Don’t let him go.”

  “Be careful, Gabe!”

  She needn't have worried. Gabe proved to be a worthy opponent by grabbing Jasper’s arm as it came forward, and twisting it behind until he let go of the knife. He forced him to his knees and planted a foot in his back. “Admit you let your wife take the blame for the fire. Admit it to Eva who has kept you on at Winderlee when she could barely afford you.”

  “Ok, ok.,” he squealed in pain.”Now let go of me!”

  Gabe pulled him to his feet. “Stand up like a man, and tell Eva why you did it.”

  Jasper caught his breath and shook his finger at Eva. “I slaved for your grandfather for thirty years. Then you took over and placed this Texas couyon here in the job that should have been mine. I was full of wine, and I was mad that day.” His voice broke with sheer misery. “I did things I never thought I could do, but I can’t go to jail!”

  Eva looked at Jasper with both pity and contempt. “You’ve been drinking even now. What’s come over you? You were once decent and reliable. You’re no better than Alex. You could have killed your own wife in the fire, yet you convinced Nadine that Colette was responsible. You managed to get even with me and get rid of your wife at the same time.”

  “I couldn't get Nadine out of my blood. She drove me crazy.”

  Eva shook her head in total disbelief. “What has happened to Vermillion Bay?”

  Gabe threw up his arms in exasperation. “I was warned about ‘ragin’ Cajuns’. Decide what you want to do with this one.”

  “I want him to get help. He hasn’t been the same since he took up with Nadine. Maybe Colette was right about her gris-gris. All I know is I don’t want him anywhere near Winderlee.”

  She turned to that pathetic excuse for a human being with his hangdog face. “Check into Bayou Shadows, Jasper. Otherwise, you face jail time, and where can you hide from the law? Who will take you in when everyone learns of your treachery—Colette and her mama in Big Mamou? Don’t count on it.”

  ***

  The harvest began without Jasper, who had made every season since before Eva was born. The foliage and residue from the burn off was turned into the soil to enrich it for another season, and the big machines cut and loaded the bare stalks for the sugar mill. Jace and Gabriel worked side by side with the workers, and finally, the fields were bare. When all was quiet, Eva drove the road around the fields in her open jeep, straw hat jammed over her head. From the corner of her eye she caught the misty, illusive image of Lucien Lejeune. At least she thought she did. This time his features had blurred into obscurity, and his form changed into a brilliant light that floated away into nothing. No omens, no goodbyes. She knew he would not present himself to her again. She felt only relief.

  We brought in the crop, Grandpapa. Winderlee will survive. You can rest now.

  19

  Colette stopped at Mercy Hospital to visit Father Renaud, after the scattering of Alex Lejeune’s ashes. She mourned the little boy he had helped raise, and she had also lost her husband in every way that counted. She sought comfort now from one who needed solace himself.

  When Marcela arrived in his room at the usual time, she found the two of them in deep discussion, and so she busied herself tidying Renaud’s toiletries and books.

  “Then you won't be taking Jasper back?” he asked Colette.

  “No, and God will have to forgive him, because I can’t. If only you understood about married folks and their problems. If only the church could condone the divorce, because I have every right. Nadine Broussard is part of his sin. That woman is his bonne a rienne.”

  Renaud nodded solemnly. “You don't need my permission to live your life as you feel you must. I’m only mortal man. What will you do now?”

  “I’ll go back to take care of Mama in Big Mamou and work part time at the fishery. Someday I hope to come back for Eva’s wedding, if she ever marries...and then the birth of any children she may be blessed with. Other than that, I am finished with this town. Seems it’s been under a cuja.”

  “Who will help out at Winderlee?”

  “I wish I knew.”

  Marcela intervened with reassurance: “Eva has spoken to my sister Bernice and her husband about stepping in...especially now that Jasper’s in therapy. It will do me good to have them close by.”

  Renaud nodded his approval. “Then all works toward the good.”

  Colette shrugged. “Good or not remains to be seen...c'est la vie. Now I must be on my way.”

  After their goodbyes and well wishes, Marcela fluffed Renaud’s pillow and arranged the flowers by his bed with the self-absorption of one who wishes not to talk. “Shall I leave and let you rest ?”

  “Not quite yet.”

  She held her breath. What if he asks about the letter? Can I actually lie to the man?

  “Marcela?”

  “Yes?”

  “There’s something on your mind today. Do you have a confession to give?”

  She gave him that old coquettish smile of her girlhood. “Not yet, John Renaud. Do you?”

  ***

  Eva sat at a table in the Pink Pelican. She glanced at her watch, then picked at her appetizer without much thought as to what she was eating. She was numb after learning that morning that Aunt Nadine had left town with Jasper Landry. Did loving a man make a woman forget right and wrong? She knew the answer. If love was right, it didn’t destroy other people. One more look at the time. 12:15. Where is he?

  Gabe had called to ask that she meet him at noon for lunch after his trip to Austin. He had said he had something to discuss. She had been reluctant, especially when he told her he was bringing “someone special”.

  “Trust me,” he had said. “Surely you know me by now. We rebuilt a legacy together.”

  Her cell phone pinged with his text message:

  There in two minutes. Don’t leave. I adore you.

  I will be here, Eva texted him back.

  Tell me what I need to know. Tell me now!

  Her hand shook as she typed her reply: You win. I do love you too.

  Could you put up with my dog?

  He's my dog now.

  Would you go with me to Texas to meet my family?

  Sure, I’ll bet your brothers have lots of stories to tell!

  (no reply)

  Gabe, you there?

  Within the time it took her to hang up, he bounded in, grinning like a man who had just been handed the key to Paradise. He had waited in the truck out front, until he got the answer he prayed for. He could accept nothing less.

  Now he stood before her in dress shirt and slacks and fresh haircut. Beside him was a handsome boy who appeared to be around nine, with Gabe’s hazel eyes but with a touch of melancholy. The boy looked shyly up at Eva and then to the floor. She knew, instinctively, his untold story. She thought of her own childhood, and that old uncertainty and heartache came flooding back.

  Gabriel Martin had come back and had brought his son to her. He had taken a chance that she would accept a lost boy from a broken home—just as she had been brought to Winderlee so long ago.

  Gabe’s arm tightened around his son’s shoulder in reassurance. “Eva, meet Sam...Samuel Martin.”

  “So this is...”

  “This is my reason for all those trips to Austin. This is my reason for all that I do...with one exception.” He nodded at the waitress who was waiting to play his selection on the jukebox, and he gave her thumbs up as “Sweet Surrender” played:

  “Baby, I’m through runnin’, It's true. I’d be a fool to try to escape you. Maybe I’m beat, but oh what a sweet surrender.”

  “Maybe we both have surrendered,” Eva said. “Would the two of you do me the honor and having lunch with me?”

  “Sure it’s okay?”

  “Oh yes, I am very sure.

  “Now that it’s don
e, so glad you won. I know our lives have only begun. No more retreat, lovin’ that sweet surrender.”

  Sam eased into a chair beside her, and she reached for his hand. “Sam, I am so happy to meet you.”

  In that moment, Gabe’s eyes held hers with all the unconditional love and passion she would ever need.

  “My son is here for good...with me,” he said.

  The last stone in her fortress came tumbling down. There before her was a way to make a painful childhood right by making it count for someone else. For once in her life, she knew what she wanted and where she belonged, as the song ended.

  “You sweet thing in my life, I surrender to you.”

  Her answer to the final question came as easy as a Sunday morning on the bay and as sweet as sugar cane in season. “Welcome home, at last!” she announced, with a heart filled with unrestrained joy.