Wrath (Part II): A Mafia Romance (Esposito Series Book 2)

by Fariah Zaidi

  With shaky fingers, I picked it up and held it to my chest. It was surprising, the amount of comfort that it brought. I sat down on the bed, unwilling to let go of it.

  It was overwhelming. Tears pricked at my eyes at the gesture and there was only one person I could think of who would do this.

  My eyes then landed on the white envelope propped up on my nightstand. I snatched it up and opened it, taking out the small white card from inside. Stefan’s cursive scrawl came into view and I read the short message he’d written:

  I remember you saying that sometimes this place didn’t feel like home. This isn’t much, but it’s a start.

  Stefan

  P.S.: I love the VS collection.

  Four:

  Feelings

  Stefan

  “Transfer the 200K from the Rossi deal into father's account.” I told Rafael, signing the papers and handing him the file, “Tell him I need Luciano to send in that shipment by Friday.”

  “Will do, Boss.” he replied, “And speaking of, your father wants you to call him. It sounded urgent.”

  With Zara still not talking to me, I had decided to bury myself in work in order to remain somewhat sane. For some reason, I just couldn’t get her out of my mind. What I’d said to her had now started weighing heavily on my heart.

  She’d been smiling a lot less, her laughs had become rare. She looked remotely content only when she’s cooking.

  Over the time she’d been in this house, she had gradually become happy. Being surrounded by people who genuinely cared for her slowly filled the lonely gap in her heart. And now that I fucked it up so badly, I want to take her back to being the same.

  Just as I picked up the phone to call my father, loud footsteps were heard in the hallway and the door to my office was slammed open.

  A fuming Zara stood there with a white card clutched in her hand.

  “You went through my lingerie?!”

  Oh shit.

  “You creep, you jerk. I should kick you in the balls for this.” she glared at me, slowly walking inside.

  Someone cleared their throat and both mine and Zara's eyes snapped towards Rafael, who looked both awkward and amused.

  “Vincent, Enzo?” he called to the others, “Don't we have that thing to do?”

  “What thing?” they both looked at him dubiously.

  “The thing.” Rafael replied sternly, a more than subtle indication for them to head out. However, the two morons seemed to be enjoying themselves too much to take a hint.

  “What thing could be better than watching Stefan get kicked in the nuts?” Vincent says, rubbing his hands excitedly. Enzo nodded his head in agreement and gave Zara an encouraging look, which somewhat translated to get along now, go damage his balls.

  Before this could go on any further, I banged my fist on the table, “The three of you, get out. Go do Rafael’s err-thing.”

  Vincent whined. He whined like a petulant child at being denied ice-cream and then begrudgingly followed Enzo as my three brothers walked out the door. I vaguely heard him complaining about ‘not being able to have fun anymore’ and then the door was closed behind them.

  “I don’t know who taught you to apologize this way, but it certainly does not involve going through someone’s lingerie.” Zara turned to me, arms folded across her chest, giving me her most dangerous glare.

  “I didn’t go through your lingerie.” I defended myself, “I happened to come across it while looking for your black jacket.”

  “What jacket?”

  “The black, leather jacket? The one you told me you loved wearing with everything?”

  “You remember that?”

  “Of course, I remember. I remember every conversation, every moment that we’ve shared.”

  For a second, for just a second, I saw the defiance in her eyes soften. But then it went back to anger.

  “That is still no excuse to go through my lingerie.”

  “Again, I didn’t go through it, I came across it.” I explained slowly, holding my hands up in defense, “Besides, there were three other people in that room. Who’d you rather see your lingerie, me or someone else?”

  “Neither.” she threw up her hands, “It’s my underwear for Christ’s sake. How would you feel if I saw your stack of underwear?”

  “Fair enough.” I conceded, knowing that any second now I might burst into laughter at this bizarre conversation. There was a moment of silence as we both looked at each other and I waited for her to calm down.

  “Did you at least like the surprise?” I asked hopefully.

  One thing I’ve learned in all these years is that the eyes speak far louder than the lips ever do. And Zara’s were like an open book. I watched in awe as the veil of anger and defiance lifted, and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop herself from indulging in a small smile.

  That right there, it made my day. I could carry on that moment with me for life.

  God, I’m screwed.

  “I have my journals, my books, and all my other stuff.” she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “So yes, I liked the surprise.”

  I resisted the urge to tuck her hair myself.

  “But that doesn’t make up for what you said and did to me.” she said, “As thoughtful as this is Stefan, it just doesn’t.”

  And just like that, her smile vanished.

  “I know that.” I sighed, rubbing my hand down my face, “It’s just that- I don’t know what to do to make up for it.”

  “Do you even want to?”

  Her question made me pause abruptly. It was spoken in such a soft, broken voice that my stomach fell, and I couldn’t dare to look her in the eye. It made me feel ashamed as my mind began recalling all the hurtful things I’d said to her.

  “Look at me, Stefan.”

  Her voice was stern now, a command that compelled me to look into her anguished eyes.

  “You screamed at me, called me a debt, made out with another woman right in front of my eyes and then had the balls to accuse me of whoring around with Rafael.”

  Every word spoken by her was like a slap to the face.

  “I don’t know what the hell came over you, even after knowing everything- everything. You don’t do shit like that to someone you actually care about. So before you go all out on doing all this for me, ask yourself this- do you even feel the way I do for you, or are you just making up for a guilty conscience?”

  She turned around to leave, placing the white card on my desk, “Until then, goodbye, Stefan.”

  It didn’t just feel like she was leaving the room, it felt like she was walking away- from me. Whatever forgiveness I was hoping to earn from her, whatever feelings I wanted to confess to her, it felt like it was all being driven away from me.

  Zara

  I walked away from Stefan.

  My body was shaking. I never wished for it to be this way. But if he did not feel for me the way I did for him, there was no need for gestures like these. There was no need for me to stand in front of him, look at him and not reach out to touch him.

  Willing my tears to not fall, I reached for the door.

  “I do feel for you that way.”

  My steps faltered and I paused abruptly, my hand on the doorknob.

  “The day I found you in that room, I’d just come back after interrogating one of Valentin’s men named Leo.”

  I turned around when I realized he was finally telling me the truth - the day he found me in that art room and raged at me to leave.

  “And he got under my skin.” Stefan went on, “I never let that happen, but he somehow did.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He said some things- about you, about me. Things I don’t want to repeat.”

  He paused, making my heart race in anticipation.

  “I left you that morning in bed with a smile, eager to get back when I hadn’t even left the house yet. But after I left that interrogation, his one statement kept running around in my head. He said that lov
e makes you weak.”

  “So you believed a beat-up asshole over your own mind and heart?” I couldn’t help but ask, “He was trying to rile you up, to distract you. And you let him.”

  “You think I don’t know that now?”

  “You certainly didn’t know it then.” I threw my hands up.

  “Don’t you see?” he begged, “I have known my feelings for you for too long. Since before you came back to this house!”

  I froze.

  “From the moment two years ago, when I looked into your anguished eyes in that hospital and you begged me to save you.”

  Everything came to a screeching halt when I realized it- why he looked so familiar, why every time I gazed into his eyes, I would feel a pull.

  “You were there,” I whispered, my voice numb, emotionless, “that night in the hospital.”

  He hung his head low and exhaled a breath, “Yes, I was.”

  “You never told me.”

  “I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” he went on, “Any other time I would be fearless, but that was a moment where I was scared, helpless and filled with rage.”

  “What happened?” I asked softly.

  “I was talking to the doctor when you woke up screaming.” he rubbed his hand on his face again, “God, it will be etched in my brain forever. You were thrashing, trying to pull out the IV and rip off your bandages. I didn’t listen to anyone when I barged in there and pulled you in my arms.”

  My heart hammered in my chest as I leaned against the wall for support, wishing for myself to disappear.

  “You stopped struggling after a while, but then you began to cry. Every sob that wracked through your body, it felt like it was hurting me too. I held you until you stopped crying, until you were on the verge of passing out.”

  I closed my eyes, wishing for probably the millionth time for the pain to pass.

  “Right before you did, you raised your head to look at me.” he said, his voice now quieter, “I had never seen someone so anguished and broken before. The last thing you said was- ‘save me’. And that’s one vow I’ve been trying to keep.”

  “That’s how I remember you.” I whispered, my voice shaking with the sobs I’d been trying to hold in, “Because you were there when I was in my darkest moment, my darkest memories. Memories that my mind desperately tried to block out but couldn’t.”

  “Not being able to save you has been one of my greatest regrets in life. I blame myself for it, because protecting you is a vow I made a long time back.” he intertwined his fingers together, leaning against his desk.

  “Whom did you make the vow to?” I asked, wiping the stray tear that rolled down y cheek.

  “To my mother and to yours.” he answered, “And that’s the reason that I just can’t stay away from you. It’s just this connection that I feel between us. Before that night two years ago, and even after that, I just couldn’t stay away. I deployed extra security for you, I would review everything myself. But all this time, I always thought of doing all that as part of that promise.”

  He exhaled a heavy breath and smiled.

  “Only when you came back to this family did, I realize that my feelings were far from some childhood promise. You were special, different. The first time you hugged me, my heart did a leap in that moment. I wasn’t used to it.”

  “Stefan…” I clutched my fingers in a fist, resisting the urge to reach out.

  “I was coming home early from work, looking forward to conversations with you. All the late nights spent in the bed, or on the balcony or in my office where you would hold my hand or just sit opposite to me with your chin rested on your palm- I just…”

  He paused to take another breath. And when he looked at me, I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

  “All my life, my agenda has been to avenge my mother’s death, my family’s destruction. And when Leo said those things to me in the basement, it took just the right words for him to get on my nerves and make me ruin what I had with you.”

  He moved towards me- slow, hesitant. His fingers were curled at his sides, wanting to touch. We were both fighting it. But even that couple feet distance between us felt vast.

  “To answer your question, I am not making up for a guilty conscience. I’m trying to correct one of the biggest mistakes of my life- letting you go.”

  He extended a finger, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I felt the warmth, a shiver where he touched me.

  “I’ve missed you- your laughs, your frowns. I’ve missed your sarcasm, your sight, your scent.”

  His hand cupped my cheek, his thumb softly wiping away my tears.

  “As much as I want to kiss you right now, I won’t.” he shook his head, “I don’t deserve it. So go, and when you have had time to think about it, let me know. All I’m asking for is a chance.”

  Five:

  Chinese

  Zara

  That evening, as I walked out of the bathroom after taking shower, I saw Mama Bella standing in my room, gazing adoringly at a photograph of me baking cookies.

  “You know,” she began, glancing at me with a smile on her face, “Sofia loved cooking too. She had this huge stack of recipes that she never let anyone see.”

  “Not even you?” I asked, going to stand beside her.

  “Nope.” she shook her head, “I never found out why. But you know how people can be weirdly possessive over some things.”

  “Yeah?” I mused, looking at her.

  “Of course,” she shrugged, “I mean, if someone asked to borrow my knives, I would never give them.”

  “Your knives?” I asked, confused.

  “You know, from before I came to this family.”

  “I’m sorry, what exactly did you do before you came here?”

  “I was an assassin, honey.”

  It was one of those moments of shock where if I had any water in my mouth, it would’ve either sprayed right out or I would’ve choked on it.

  “You were a what, now?” I asked, in case I’d heard her wrong.

  “An assassin.” she repeated slowly, enjoying the shock displayed on my face.

  “Bu-huh-but how?” I stuttered.

  “What do you mean?” she chuckled.

  “How could you be an assassin?” I exclaimed, “You’re so… sweet.”

  She laughed loudly, linking her arm through mine. And then she leaned forward and lowered her voice, “Why do you think everyone in this house is afraid of me?”

  I had to laugh at that. I had seen every person in this house walk around her like she’s a queen, including Stefan and the guys.

  “Anyway,” she waved her, “what I came here to tell you was that you’ll be home alone for a few hours.”

  “Why?”

  “Vincent is taking Ria out somewhere to take her mind off of things, Stefan, Rafael and Enzo are going to meet some of their contacts and I have a date.”

  “You have a date? Who is the guy?”

  She gave me a secretive smile and then started walking towards the door, “Not now, sweetheart, but probably soon.”

  “Of course.” I nodded in understanding.

  Just as she was about to leave, I couldn’t help but call out, “Use protection, Mama.”

  She instantly popped her head back in and with a naughty smile winked at me, “Oh believe me, I will. I haven’t slept with him yet, but his tongue game is-”

  I slapped my hands on my ears, “No, no, no, no, no! Mama, I don’t wanna hear that!”

  And chuckling like a horny teenager, she left.

  An hour after everyone had left, I was spread out on the living room couch, watching the Kardashians get into yet another argument.

  The shrill ringing of the landline erupted in the silent house and I jumped from my seat, reaching for the receiver.

  “Hello?”

  “Miss Zara, this is Cedric, head of security.”

  “Yeah,” I muttered, lazily pulling myself up from the couch, “is everything okay?”

  �
��Everything is fine. Just checking in with you, making sure all’s okay.”

  “Yeah, yeah, it’s all good.”

  “Alright, call me if you need anything. The extension numbers are right next to the phone.”

  “Thanks Cedric.”

  After hanging up the phone, I realized that if something did happen, or if someone did attack the house, I had nothing to protect myself with. Cursing myself at the stupidity, I got off the couch and bounded up the stairs of the silent house and towards my room.

  I picked up my knife from the nightstand and shoved it in my hoodie’s pocket. Before leaving, I rounded the bed and picked up my journal, intending to make it an outlet for the myriad of emotions I’d been feeling lately.

  As I bounded down the stairs, I couldn’t help the chill that ran up my spine. The huge house was absolutely empty. Even the maids had been given the night off. The only comfort was the guards walking right outside the front door. Otherwise, there was utter silence, save for the sound of my feet padding on the floor.

  Deciding to pick up a packet of Doritos from the kitchen, I took a right turn and briskly walked down the short, darkened hallway to the kitchen.

  The moment I stepped in, I collided with someone.

  A scream erupted from my lips, one of panic, fear and shock. My hand instantly went for my knife as whoever it was let out a long, high-pitched shriek and jumped back, knocking over a couple of pans.

  Over the sudden commotion, I made out a giant, masculine silhouette, my heart hammering wildly in my chest as I gripped the knife in my hand, recalling the hacks that Enzo had taught me.

  Only when the intruder let out a long string of colorful curses did I recognize who it was.

  “Stefan?”

  My fingers found the switch and I slapped them on, flooding the room with light.

  “What the hell?” he yelled with a hand clutched at his chest and the other rested on the counter.

  The startled look on Stefan’s face was a rare sight. He always came across as such a fearless,collected person that one would never believe the pitch of his scream if they didn’t witness it.