by Anne Mercier
I sit in the chair beside the bed, still holding her warm but lifeless hand in mine. I bring it to my mouth and hold it against my lips, my cheek, nuzzling it to comfort myself as much as it is to comfort her.
The family walks in and I notice Lucy in a wheelchair.
"What’s going on?" I ask.
Jesse rakes a hand through his already messy hair, his frustration evident in the gesture. "She’s had some cramping."
"She saw the doctor?"
Jesse nods and Lucy huffs. "I did. It’s no big deal. They did an ultrasound which showed everything is normal so it’s normal growing pains as my body adjusts to—"
"—carrying the Kingston litter," Xander teases.
Lucy snickers, Jesse frowns and flips Xander off.
"Kingston litter," Giovanni says with a smirk. "Just remember they’re part of la Famiglia."
Xander swallows hard and I bite back a laugh.
"Yeah, apparently carrying triplets is going to cause more than the normal amount of discomfort—yay me! With abdominal, uterine, back, and who-knows-what-else pain." Lucy cuts Jesse a death glare. "And you, Kingston, better get used to not running to the doctor every five seconds or I’ll invent ways to hurt you that won’t somehow come back to haunt me."
"Now you did it," Ben chides.
"Dude," Ethan shakes his head.
"What the fuck?" Kennedy asks Jesse.
"Oh fuck all of you. Every one of you were just as worried as I was." Jesse’s eyes cut to Xander, "And you," he points, "were the worst of everyone."
"Dude, she’s so small. I don’t know how she’s going to be able to fit three babies in there," Xander shakes his head in doubt.
"Xan my man, I hate to break it to you but there are already three babies in there," Lucy tells him with a roll of her eyes.
"I mean when they’re all," he makes some weird hand gesture, "full grown."
Lucy snorts. "You make them sound like pod people."
Xander nods. "They kinda are if you think about it. Kinda like that sac thing they’re in, that’s their pod. You’re their incubator."
"Dude," Kennedy says. "What the fuck? I’m cutting off your Netflix."
Lucy smirks.
"I think Jesse is doing a fantastic job taking care of our Luciana. You should appreciate the efforts he’s making to ensure you and the babies are well. His attentions are out of love and concern," Giovanni says, defending Jesse.
Lucy gapes at him, then looks at Jesse. "You’re right, Gampy. Jesse is the best husband and already an amazing father. I’ll try to be more understanding but worrying himself and everyone else sick when it’s just natural progression is silly."
"Until it’s more," Giovanni corrects.
Lucy huffs. "Fine. I’ll do better. Can you...?" Lucy asks, directing Jesse to push her closer over to Sera. She goes around to the other side of the bed and grabs Sera’s other hand, pulling it up to her cheek in the same way I didn’t realize I still held this one.
"Thank you," Lucy whispers, looking at me.
"For what?"
"For saving her."
"Luce, I didn’t. I couldn’t save her from that. The doctors did all that," I tell her truthfully.
"I didn’t mean just today."
I nod. "She saved me back," I admit.
Lucy nods. Neither of us say anything as one of Sera’s two personal nurses take her vitals.
"She should be waking up soon," she tells us as she enters information into Sera’s chart.
"Not soon enough," Lucy says.
I nod in agreement and kiss Sera’s hand once more.
There’s a knock at the door and a click of heels. I turn and it’s all I can do not to tell her to get the fuck out because she doesn’t belong here, but I don’t have to.
"Who are you?" Regina demands.
"Carina."
"I don’t know you and you’re not family. You need to leave," Regina tells her, leaving no wiggle room.
"I am—"
"No," Giovanni interrupts, "you aren’t. Not this family. You don’t belong here. What do you want?"
Carina’s jaw clenches and her spine goes ramrod straight. Offended. Good.
"I came to discuss—"
Giovanni steps up so he’s in her face, Damian flanking him. "What is wrong with you? You come here, to my granddaughter’s room—without invitation or notice, and want to discuss business?"
"I—"
"Will leave. Now." Giovanni’s tone is flat and quiet, deadly and threatening. I’ve heard that tone before and so has Carina. She says nothing further just turns on her heel and slithers away, Damian escorting her from the building.
I look to Giovanni and he to me.
She will be dealt with sooner rather than later is the message his look sends and I nod once.
The sooner the better.
Sera
Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been by Relient K
MAMA, I THINK YOU SENT me back here too soon. This pain is a bitch.
My mother’s voice flows over me. And you’ll deal with it just as you deal with everything else.
Yeah, I will. I have no choice but to. That means I need to try to wake up. I know they’ve closed me up—which was really disgusting by the way, seeing the inside of your pelvic area. I can sense family around me, Cage holding my hand to his bearded cheek, his whispers rasping against my fingers with head kisses from his lips. And Lucy. She worries too much. If I get back there for any purpose, it’s to ease her worry. She doesn’t need that with those babies in there. We want them to bake until the timer dings.
Babies. Baby. My baby. The pain flows through my heart from the loss. Mine and Cage’s baby... lost. No, not lost. I know she is with my mom and dad up there and they’ll take care of her. I’m not sure why I think it was a girl... I just do. I would have named her Lilyana after my mom. I still will. I feel a tear slide down my face and I know I’m waking up.
"Fee," Cage whispers. "Come on now. Open those eyes."
I take a deep breath and smell him... the pine is missing, but it’s Cage. It’s home.
It hurts and I groan as I struggle to open my eyes.
"Sera," Xander says, "open those peepers."
I want to laugh. Instead I whisper, "Peepers? Really?"
"That’s some of my best stuff right there," he says, sounding offended but I know he’s not.
"Pathetic," I whisper and smile.
"Open your eyes and tell me that," he challenges.
"I’m working on it. They don’t seem to want to cooperate. Maybe they know they’re going to be offended by you."
Lucy snickers and Cage squeezes my hand gently.
"Hey now," Xander chides. "I’m fucking hot. I’m a catch. Just ask any of my lady friends."
I snort, cracking my eyes and blinking rapidly, squinting against the light. "Whores don’t count, Xan. They’ll say anything for a f—"
"Serafina Rosalie Manzini, you will watch your language," mama scolds and I laugh, then wince and groan, pulling my hand from Lucy’s and covering my abdomen.
I look to Cage, his dark-as-night eyes piercing into mine.
"I’m sorry," I whisper, a tear slipping from my eye.
"Hey," he says softly, reaching up to wipe the tear away. "None of that. You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I do. I should have told you sooner."
He smirks, just that one side of his mouth kicking up slightly. "Maybe, but we’re okay, Fee. I understand."
He always does. He gets it. He gets me. I nod and he cups my cheek. I turn into his caress. He stands, rests his forehead against mine, letting out a shuddering breath.
"I almost lost you."
"Nah. You can’t lose me that easily," I say against his lips as he kisses me softly.
"I wish I could make you promise that."
"It doesn’t work that way but if it did, I’d promise," I tell him truthfully.
"I know," he whispers, pressing one last kiss to my lips before sitting back
down.
"Finally," Ben teases, elbowing his way in. "I thought you two were going to be whispering all damn day. You know how I hate to wait."
I snort, then groan again. "Ouch."
"Well, yeah. You just had surgery," Ben teases.
"I never would have known if you hadn’t told me." I roll my eyes.
"And she’s back," Xander announces.
Everyone starts talking at the same time and I smile softly, turning to meet Cage’s gaze. He gives me a wink. We just stare at each other, ignoring everyone else.
"Why don’t we give them a little time?" Lucy suggests.
"That’s a very good idea. I’m starving so let’s go get some food," Meggie says.
"You’re always hungry," Trace tells her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
"I can’t help it. Fast metabolism."
"It’s all that bouncing," Xander adds, "on and off Trace’s cock."
"Xander Matthew Mackenzie, language," mama scolds.
"Sorry mama."
Their voices fade off into the distance and then I ask, "What happened, Cage?"
"It was an ectopic pregnancy, Fee. There was nothing anyone could have done."
I nod. "What does that mean exactly? I mean, I know what an ectopic is, but what did they have to do during surgery?"
"Let’s let the nurse tell us that," Cage says, nodding to the nurse standing across the room.
"Hi. I’m Toni."
"I remember you from when Lucy—"
She nods. "You wanted to know about the surgery." She explains about the ectopic and how it ruptured my tube, then goes on to explain they had to remove the tube in order to stop the bleeding and save my life. "You flat-lined once, but they resuscitated you quickly. To be honest, with as much blood as you lost, I’m surprised you didn’t flat-line more than that. You’ve got a very strong will."
I nod. Thanks to my mom and dad for guiding me. I wonder if everyone has someone to guide them like that or if I’m blessed. I, personally, think it’s because of Nana Russo’s mojo. She can work some serious magic.
"Thank you," I tell Toni. She nods, takes my vitals, and goes back to the far side of the room with the other nurse.
"Fee."
"What is it?" I ask, his tone uneasy.
He shakes his head. "I know the timing is off, but after everything..."
I look at him in question.
"I love you, Fee."
My eyes widen, my heart skips a beat then speeds up, my eyes fill with unshed tears, and then I smile.
"That’s handy because I love you too."
He smiles one of his rare smiles and in that moment, he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. His smile, this one, lights up his whole being. I do this for him just as he does for me. The wonder of it all doesn’t escape me.
Cage stands and kisses me softly.
"I’m not going to wait anymore, Fee. No more denying ourselves. After this," he shakes his head. "Life’s too short."
I nod against his forehead. "Okay."
"I want to marry you."
I stiffen. "What?"
He chuckles. "Not right this second. But I’d be honored if you’d agree to be my wife."
"Holy smokes. Give a girl a chance to catch up, will ya?" I tease, excitement and fear warring within me. For real, holy smokes. He wants to marry me. He’s talking about forever... the forever I’ve been waiting for, the forever I want with only him. There’s no question.
When Cage chuckles, excitement wins.
"Yes."
He pulls back, meeting my gaze, his expression as serious as mine. "Did you just—?"
I nod. "I did. Yes," I say again.
"I thought you’d take some convincing," he tells me.
"After everything, there’s no doubt where I want to be. Always with you."
He nods, pressing his forehead to mine. "I have a ring at home—"
"You have a ring at home?" I ask incredulously.
He nods and smirks sheepishly. "I didn’t ask on a whim."
I swallow, absorbing all of what that means. "Well then."
"Thank you, Fee."
"For?" I ask, confused.
"For bringing the light into my life. For loving me and for letting me love you. None of those things are easy. So, thank you," he tells me sincerely.
"You do the same for me, so we’re even." I lift a hand to his cheek.
A throat clears across the room and the doctor enters. "I need to do a quick examination of Serafina and from the wincing she’s doing, I’d say it’s time for another dose of pain medication."
I nod and Cage kisses the hand he’s holding. "I’ll wait over there."
I squeeze his hand tighter. "No. Stay with me?" I ask.
His expression softens and he nods. "Always."
"EXPLAIN TO ME HOW Toni, Lucy’s nurse in Denver, is my nurse here," I say to my grandpa with a raise of my brow.
"You don’t need to know all the details, just that she’s here to take care of you."
I huff. "Gampy. That’s not fair."
He chuckles. "When has life ever promised to be fair?"
"Truth."
"How did you convince Cage to go home?"
I smirk. "I have my ways."
"Of this I have no doubt."
Lucy walks up. "Tell me your secret."
I snicker. "It was easy, really. I told him that while he looks sexy in scrubs, he looks hotter in his suits and I miss the scent of him while he’s in them."
Lucy lifts her brows.
"We have some fond memories of that scent and what—"
"Enough. A mother doesn’t need to hear such things, Serafina," mama scolds.
I roll my eyes.
"How are you feeling?" Lucy asks.
"I’ve been better."
She nods. "I know all about that."
"Yeah, you do. Grandpa. Tell me. How is she here?" I persist.
"Who?" Lucy asks.
"Toni."
"Yeah, I was wondering that myself. I was pretty shocked to see her," Lucy agrees.
We both look at grandpa and he takes a deep breath. He looks to mama and daddy and I start to panic.
"What is it?"
Mama nods her approval.
"She is your mother’s nurse," Gampy says.
"What?" Lucy all but shouts. "You’re sick?"
Mama clucks her tongue. "I’m no such thing."
"Regina," dad chides. "The truth is, your mother is a diabetic and requires extra care right now while they try to get her sugars under control."
"How far out of control are they?" I ask, panicking a little more with each passing minute.
"Not as bad now as they were a few weeks ago. We wouldn’t have sought the help of a nurse but your mother was very ill. Her vision was blurred, her skin was hot and itchy—so itchy she scratched herself raw. It was just a very bad time so Toni traveled with us. That’s how she came to be in Denver. This is her normal place of work," daddy tells us.
Lucy and I look at each other, eyes wide, mouths agape, then we turn to mama, who’s looking out the window.
"Mama?" Lucy begins.
"I’m fine, Luciana."
"Now. You’re fine now," Lucy scolds. "How could you not tell us?"
Mama turns and smiles sadly. "How could I? In the middle of everything going on, how could I add more to your burden?"
"Mama," I bite out, "you are never and you will never be a burden."
"You had enough to deal with."
"Then I’ll say that to you the next time something happens I don’t want to burden you with," I say smartly.
"Don’t speak to me like that, Serafina. As your mother I will protect you how I see fit."
"As your daughters, we will protect you how we see fit," Lucy says softly.
"You’re being childish," mama admonishes.
Lucy shrugs. "Probably. But you’re our mother and we have a right to know when something’s wrong with you. We should decide for ourselves
what’s too much. Not you. People have tried that with me before and you remember what happened there? It didn’t end well just as this isn’t."
"Fine," she says shortly.
Daddy sighs. "I’ll be sure to let you know everything."
"You should have been already," I say, giving him a look.
He nods.
I sigh, leaning into the pillow, and close my eyes. "I’m tired, I hurt, and I don’t want us to argue. Can we please all agree to be honest with one another from now on?" I ask.
"That sounds like a really good plan," Cage says from the doorway.
I open my eyes and there he is. In his black suit with the purple and black tie I picked out for him. The sight makes me smile.
"Hey," I say softly.
"Hey," he replies, making his way over to me, his scent immediately blanketing me. I inhale.
"There you are," I say, eyes closed.
"Mmm," he hums against my lips, giving me a soft kiss. "How was your nap?"
"Not long enough," I tell him.
He nods. "How’s your pain?"
"Pretty good. I just got some more medication which is why I’m so drowsy right now."
"Rest, Fee. The more you rest the better you’ll feel and the sooner you’ll be out of here," Cage reminds me.
I sigh and nod. "You know I’m only this agreeable because I know you’re right."
He chuckles. "Oh, trust me. I know."
I can’t help but smile, my eyes drifting closed.
He runs his nose along my cheek, up to my ear. "I love you, Fee. I’ll be here when you wake up."
"I love you too," I whisper, drifting into a peaceful sleep because for the first time in a long while, I feel hopeful.
A WEEK LATER I’M SITTING in Cage’s kitchen with Joan while she prepares dinner. She’s been taking care of me whenever Cage has to go to work or meetings, which isn’t very often and I end up pushing him out the door more often than not. He doesn’t have to babysit me. I’m fine. I may move around slowly but I’m fine.
"Tell me about Cage," I prompt.
Joan grins. "What do you want to know?"
"How did you two meet? How did he come to live with you?"
"Oh, he was about thirteen when I first found him. He tried to steal my purse one night." Joan laughs, a full-throated, melodic laugh that makes me smile. "I laugh because he was so skinny. He was all legs and elbows."