Reunited

by Jodi Kae

  I have tried to date but no one compares. Am I setting myself up for failure for future relationships? I am a twenty-five-year-old successful male in his prime, so why do I feel like my life is stuck in a time warp from a year ago and I can’t move forward. Why can’t I develop Tag’s revolving door policy?

  Rolling out of bed, I stumble to the shower. Standing under the spray, visions of Livvy bent over holding on to the soap dispenser has my body ready. I turn the faucet to cold and endure my freezing cold wake up call. After a pot of coffee, I will call Jax just to make sure everything is right in his world; it definitely isn’t right in mine.

  ~Livvy~

  Once again I find myself driving to my mom’s house with Alex, hoping she will open the door this time since she won’t answer her phone. I keep coming here, not for myself, but for Alex. He is only three months old and I pray that she will take one look at him and fall in love. I know she struggled being a single mother, but I’ve heard that being a grandmother is usually more enjoyable because you can give them back to the parents when they misbehave. After becoming a mother myself, I have a new appreciation for everything that my mother went through trying to raise a child on her own. Even though things ended badly between us six months ago, I want her to know that I don’t harbor any hard feelings toward her. I know she only wanted the best for me and was afraid of me following in her shoes. I myself struggle to be a great mother. I wish I didn’t have to work so much or that Alex didn’t have to spend so much time with George and Liz while I finish school. Knowing that I do these things to better our lives will make the sacrifice worth it in the end; won’t it?

  I pull behind my mother’s car in the driveway and take a deep breath. “Here goes nothing, Alex.” While I’m pulling him from his car seat, I notice the curtains close out of the corner of my eye. That’s fine. If I have to talk to her through the door I will. After standing on the porch with no answer, I realize, that will be my only option. “Hey, Mom, I hope you are feeling well. I just wanted to stop by and let you meet Alex, your grandson...please call me, Mom. I have a lot that needs to be said but I don’t want to do it on your front porch.” With still no answer, I hang my head and go back to my car.

  Back at the bar, I pass Alex to Liz so she can take him home while I work the late shift. This is the hardest part of my day. George and Liz are wonderful to us but I wish that I could do everything myself. Not completely myself; I wish I had a husband to share the trials and the joys with. Not just any husband, Alexander, but that is not in the cards for me.

  ~Savage~

  A desperate feeling to find Livvy comes over me again today. I feel that if I don’t find her soon, things will turn out badly and my chances of reconnecting with her will be zero. My obsession comes in spurts. Almost like when she is hurt or in danger my intuition kicks in and my need to find her ramps up. Of course, just as I pull up a name search, Jax walks in.

  “Hey, Mate. What ya up to?”

  Jax glances at the screen then back at me with his eyebrows raised and I know the lecture is coming.

  “We are shorthanded at the club tonight if you want to join me. One of the Dominatrix is out sick and you could fill in for her.”

  Sex is Jax’s answer for everything. Domination and control will put me back on track, he says. Even though I have never participated sexually, and I’ve only flogged a few of his subs, he hasn’t given up on me yet. One of these days, I might take him up on his offer, but not tonight.

  At 10:00 p.m., well after everyone else has gone home for the night, I shut down my computer and make my way out of the building. I think I’ll drown my sorrows in a couple of shots of whiskey before passing out. Hopefully, that will dim my visions of her.

  ~Livvy~

  “Come on, Livvy, just one date? I promise to keep my hands to myself. I don’t expect anything other than to get to know you better. Dinner and a movie is all I’m asking for, please?”

  Jerry is a really nice guy, but something seems a little off. He has come into the bar almost every night for the last few weeks and just sits and talks to me while I work. He doesn’t drink anything but soda, but tips me very well. He is also good looking in a boy-next-door sort of way; so why am I so hesitant? “Okay,” I whisper. I don’t want anyone else hearing that I’m willing to get on the dating train. I have been successful in avoiding any and all suitors, until now.

  “Really, when?”

  “I’m off tomorrow night, so if Liz can watch Alex, I can go to dinner. I don’t want to be gone too long from my son, but I can spare a couple of hours.”

  “Great! I’ll pick you up at six.”

  For the next few months Jerry and I fall into a simple routine of dinner or a movie a couple of times a week. We have even taken Alex with us on a few dates, but Alex doesn’t seem to like Jerry very much. Have babies developed intuition at this age?

  “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday baby Alex, happy birthday to you! Yeah!”

  Gathered around the pub booth are George, Liz, Jerry and myself. Today my baby is one-year-old, and we have to celebrate a little early before the bar opens at noon. George gave me the day off, but we are shorthanded, so Liz has to work.

  Alex squeals and plants his face in the small birthday cake. We all laugh at the shocked expression on his face when he realizes that his eyelashes are caked with heavy frosting. As George washes his face, Liz takes a few pictures.

  “I wish I could go to the park with you guys. I’m so sad.”

  Liz has filled in the grandmother role that Alex does not have. Not that she is old at twenty-five, but my mother hasn’t even talked to me since she kicked me out over fifteen months ago. I have called my mother and even gone by her house, but she doesn’t answer the phone or the door even though I know she is home. Liz and George have done anything and everything for Alex and me, including making him a room at their condo for the nights he stays over when I work late. I don’t know what I would do without these two people who have become my family.

  “It’s okay, Liz, we are taking him to the fun center on Saturday. George has covered all of our shifts that afternoon and we can celebrate then.” This earns me a dirty look from Jerry and I know I will hear about it as soon as we leave here.

  After living with Jerry for three months, I regret ever having made the decision to move in with him. With the bar changing locations, the studio was no longer available, so I was forced to move. Jerry had begged me to move in with him and I was not in the financial position to pay rent, utilities, and a car payment and still go to school. Any money I had saved went pay for a growing nine-month-old baby. I took him up on his offer with the condition that there was to be no pressure for a sexual relationship. I didn’t expect him to wait forever, but certain characteristic traits have me nervous about taking our relationship to the next level. Liz thinks I’m crazy for baiting the bear, her terminology not mine. “You can’t expect to live with the guy and share couples responsibilities without putting out. He is going to lose his patience. Then where will you be?” I am seeing signs of that loss of patience in him almost daily.

  It doesn’t take long for Jerry to start in about his role in this relationship. As soon as we are in the car on the way to the park he starts yelling.

  “Olivia, I can’t help but feel like you are trying to push me out of every family decision you make. I am your boyfriend. Shouldn’t I have a say of when and where we celebrate Alex’s birthday? You are constantly putting the needs of George and Liz above mine. You know I have to work on Saturday afternoon, but you planned a celebration for Alex anyway. How is that supposed to make me feel?”

  He pulls into the parking lot and slams the gearshift into park. He turns toward me and grips my arm hard enough to bruise.

  “I am not going to wait forever for you to consider me as part of your family. We have been together for the last six months, and I think it’s time for you to start sleeping in my bed.”

  This is only the second tim
e Jerry has mentioned me sleeping in his room instead of Alex’s, and both times have caused a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I know that if I take this relationship to the next level, I will never be able to get out. Not only does Jerry’s behavior make me uneasy, but thoughts of Alexander invade my mind daily. How can I commit myself to one man that I don’t love when I am always thinking of the man I do. I know it seems crazy to hold on to the hope of ever finding Alexander, but I just don’t know how to move on when our son is a constant reminder of my one true love.

  “Jerry, please, you’re hurting me.” His grip loosens a little, but he keeps his hand in place to remind me who is in charge. “We have only been together for six months and three of those were spent sporadic dating and socializing at the bar. I am a single mother because of a spontaneous decision and I refuse to put myself in that position again.”

  “Don’t you dare compare me to your son’s sperm donor. I’m not just going to sleep with you and leave, Olivia! You live in my goddamn house for hell sakes. I’m invested in this relationship; it’s you who’s not. How long do I have to wait for you to love me back? How long will I have to wait for you to get over a man who didn’t care enough to give you his full name?”

  Alex starts to whimper, so I know I will have to placate Jerry just to get him to calm down. The violence in him simmers just below the surface and I know it’s a matter of time before he becomes more physically aggressive. “You know I care about you, but it’s my childhood that has me hesitant. It’s very hard to erase twenty years of chastisements and warnings about men in a matter of a few months. And you are right, Jerry, making a spontaneous decision left me pregnant and alone. Can’t you see why I would be reluctant to put myself in that position again? Please just be patient with me. I promise that you won’t have to wait forever.” That statement seems to calm him a little, and he releases my arm.

  We spend a few hours at the park watching Alex struggle to walk and try to chase birds. Jerry doesn’t participate in our play and just watches with a scowl of resentment. I know I’m going to have to leave him but the timing will need to be perfect, plus I don’t have enough money stashed away yet. I give Liz thirty dollars every night and ask her to keep it for me because Jerry takes all of my tips to help pay bills. I know that this is just another way for him to control me. I have only saved about a thousand dollars for when I need to run; how much money will be enough?

  Chapter Nine

  Hide:

  *put or keep out of sight. *prevent someone or something from being seen. *prevent an emotion or fact from being apparent or known; keep secret.

  *conceal oneself.

  ~Savage~

  “Dude, come on, it’s just a little wager. Real or fake?” I glance at the blonde as she licks her lips and smiles seductively at Jax.

  “Real,” Jax mumbles without conviction.

  “You’re on. There is no way that she is blessed with that ass and real tits. It’s either one or the other, not both.” I’m sure that’s a lie but I’ve only found the perfect combination one time in my life, and that was 2 ½ years ago.

  I make my way to the bar and lean in real close. “Hey, Sugar, see that man over there.” She turns her head and looks toward Jax. “Well, he is in need of some company, but he likes the non-traditional kind of company that involves you being sandwiched in between the two of us. Do you think that would interest you at all tonight?” She doesn’t look like the type to take a complete stranger up on this crazy-ass offer, but she places her hand in mine and lets me lead her to our table.

  “What’s your name, Sugar?”

  “Sami, with an i.”

  “Hey, Jax, this is Sami, Sami this is Jax. I’m going to be your sun tonight and Jax will be your moon.” Jax looks at me with murder in his eyes. What the hell? This is right up his alley; he didn’t even have to work for it.

  “My Pleasure, Sami,” he responds as he leans forward to kiss her hand.

  We have been to this bar a number of times and know the best secret hiding places to go. I lead Sami to a room in the back that has a do not disturb door hanger that I place on the front.

  “Is he coming? I only have thirty minutes.”

  Obviously I was wrong about the type of woman she seemed to be. “Of course, Sugar. He just wants me to get you warmed up.” She grabs my face and slants her mouth over mine, then threads her fingers into my hair. Releasing one side of my head, she snakes her hand down to my crotch and proceeds to rub me through my slacks. Shit! I don’t like an aggressive woman. This bottle blonde might be a Dominatrix and I was too stupid to pick up on that little personality trait. I reach up to caress her breasts, but she places her hand over mine and squeezes hard letting me know how she likes it. Definitely not real and Jax owes me twenty.

  My mind wanders to a few years ago when I found the realest thing there is on Miami Beach Boardwalk.

  “There you go, Big Boy. Why don’t you show me what you’ve got?”

  Damn, I need my extremely Dominant partner to come in here and show this woman the right way to do it. “Give me a minute, Sugar. I’ll go get Jax.” I have watched this man work in The X Club and I look forward to seeing him put this woman in her place. It just doesn’t feel right to have a woman call the shots in the bedroom. I quickly make my way out to the bar to find Jax right where I left him. “Dude, you don’t get to keep the twenty, but she isn’t going to wait all night.” His phone beeps right at that second, notifying him of a text.

  “Shit! Sorry, Mate. I gotta go. I’ll see ya when I see ya. Remember, Montauk by Sunday.”

  “Dammit, Jax.” He walks away before I can tell him that I was going to hand over the reins and head home. I have Livvy on the brain and it doesn’t feel right to be with this woman when I have a hard-on for another. I really don’t want to deal with the confrontation that is about to happen in the back room, so I wait two minutes and leave the bar the way I came in.

  ~Olivia~

  “I can’t tell you where I’m going because I don’t know. I only know that I have to go before he hurts my son or me more than he already has. I would prefer that no one knows where I am until we are safe.”

  “No, Olivia. We need to go to the police. You have to report the abuse and the threats, so he doesn’t get away with it. You can stay with us for as long as you need to. Please don’t go. It’s late and the baby is sleeping. Just wait until the morning.”

  “He has the graveyard shift tonight and he will be home in the morning. I have to go now while I have a few hours head start. You know that going to the police will only anger him more. I can’t prove anything and he won’t be arrested. Where would that leave me then? Last night when he hit me in front of my baby just upped the stakes. I can’t wait until he loses control and hits him too. You two are our only family. I would rather not go, but I won’t put it past him to hurt either of you to get to me. You know I love you and I’ll call you when I’m settled.”

  Leaving the people I consider my family is killing me emotionally, but it’s better than giving my ex the opportunity to do it physically. I can’t believe I’ve stayed with him for twelve months. I’m positive he has multiple personality disorder or an alter ego because he changed two months after I moved in with him, becoming angry and aggressive. He blames everything on my twenty-one-month-old baby, saying that he looks too much like his dad and is a constant reminder of my one-night stand.

  Scooping up my sleeping boy from the crib, I make my way out to my trusty Honda. He only stirs a little, and once I have him buckled in, he goes right back to sleep. When he was born, Elizabeth changed her work schedule to be opposite of mine to help babysit while I worked. In a sense, I am taking their baby away from them too. They are standing on the sidewalk with tears in their eyes, so before I break down and cry, I wave, climb in and drive away from the only family my son has ever known.

  One week free

  The dining room is quiet, just the way I like it. I was a little nervous when Marge told m
e she had an entire wedding party checking in. I hate crowds because the more people see us, the more exposed we are. I feel bad that they all canceled on her, though. “Hey, Marge, is it just us tonight then?”

  “Oh, no, a nice couple checked in about an hour ago. They should be down in a minute.”

  Marge owns the bed and breakfast I found on the way to Florida. I don’t know how far I’ll go, but traveling with a twenty-one-month-old baby is slow going. Hawkinsville seems like a nice enough small-town to stay in and I can’t imagine Jerry searching for me here.

  Just then, an incredibly hot guy and a strikingly beautiful woman walked in and sat at the end of the table. The guy has dark hair like Alexander’s, but his eyes are electric blue. The woman has the clearest green eyes I have ever seen with long, brown hair that cascades down her back. They are an incredible looking couple with mutual love and affection written on their faces. The hot guy guides his woman with his hand on her back to my table and pulls out her chair. He looks around with careful eyes as if waiting for something or someone to jump out. He seems a little paranoid, but I guess I have been that way for the last week myself.

  Alex starts vrooming his toy plane around the table, and I don’t have the heart to stop him. We have been traveling for days and it has taken its toll on both of us. Originally I was going to head west, but my gut instinct kept nudging me to Florida. After driving to Birmingham Alabama and spending the night, then to Montgomery Alabama to spend another night, then to here, he has been stuck in a car seat and I want him to be able to stretch and play.

  “Wus you name?”

  The man is the one who answers, which I thought was weird since Alex was looking at the woman. He seems like a controlling man, and I am making every effort to avoid those; lesson learned.

  “Hey little guy, this is Jen and my names John, what’s yours?”