Roman's Having Sex Again

by Nikki Ashton

  ‘Ah yeah. “Replacement architrave required on existing doorways.”’

  He threw the pad back on my desk and then ducked down to kiss my cheek.

  ‘What was that for?’ I asked without looking up from the rest of his scribing.

  ‘Just felt like it. You’re too delectable not to kiss when the opportunity arises.’

  I turned my head to look up at him and gave him a huge smile. He smiled back; his eyes were soft, and he looked more relaxed than I had seen him in days.

  ‘I guess we owe Liam a big thank you,’ I said as I took hold of Roman’s hand. ‘He’s given us some breathing space.’

  ‘Yeah, we do, and he has,’ Roman sighed. ‘I did tell him not to feel obligated, but he said Holly was anxious to get started on the dining room. Their new chef has increased the number of covers from non-residents by ninety-five per cent, and she’s struggling to get people booked in. So as soon as Mark gave the go-ahead, he knew he had to get me over there as soon as possible. Then towards the end of the year he wants to start on the new additions to the hotel and spa.’

  ‘Well, it couldn’t have come at a better time.’

  ‘Thank you too, baby.’ Roman kissed me softly, and ran a finger down my cheek. ‘For calling Holly.’

  I gave his hand a squeeze and then turned back to the quotation that I was about to type up. As I scanned Roman’s figures, he ran a hand down my hair and then stooped to kiss the top of my head.

  ‘Give me a shout if you need anything else translating,’ he said.

  ‘Okay.’

  Roman was just about to enter his own office, when the outer office door was flung open, and Tiffany burst in, with a face so thunderous they could have named a hurricane after her.

  ‘Please tell me it’s not true,’ she spat at Roman.

  Roman’s eyebrows raised as he thrust his hands to his hips. ‘And hello to you too.’

  Tiffany ignored him and ploughed on.

  ‘You have to be the biggest idiot on this planet,’ she cried, pointing a finger at Roman. ‘What has possessed you? That fucking bitch, Roman.’

  I sat open-mouthed, wondering what the hell she was going on about. Tiffany was normally lovely and pleasant. Whatever Roman had done, it had certainly upset her.

  Roman looked at me. ‘Fuck.’ He turned back to Tiff. ‘Caroline.’

  ‘Yes, damn Caroline. Do you agree with it?’ she turned to me and asked.

  I looked between her and Roman before replying.

  ‘It’s nothing to do with me, Tiff,’ I replied. ‘It’s Roman’s house, and she’s his friend and needs somewhere.’

  ‘Hah!’ she huffed. ‘Needs somewhere my backside. She just needs in his boxers, that’s all.’

  I damn well knew it. But being right didn’t stop my stomach from clutching.

  ‘No, she doesn’t,’ Roman scoffed, moving around Tiffany to close the door. ‘I’m with Summer and she knows that.’

  ‘Wouldn’t stop her—we both know that.’ Tiffany looked at Roman knowingly, and I was anxious to know why. ‘Have you been seeing her all this time?’

  ‘God no!’ he cried. ‘I wouldn’t do that to you, you know I wouldn’t. She’s desperate, that’s all.’

  ‘Yeah, like I said desperate to get in your pants,’ Tiffany snapped back.

  ‘Listen,’ I said, rolling my chair back. ‘I don’t really know the woman, but she’s been perfectly pleasant to me. So what don’t I know about her?’

  Someone needed to tell me, because if she and Roman had a romantic history that I didn’t know about, new girlfriend or not, I was not going to be happy about it. My anxiety was growing, and that would topple me over the edge.

  ‘Has he not told you that she’s a lying, manipulative, relationship-wrecking bitch?’ Tiffany said through gritted teeth. ‘Because she is.’

  ‘Tiff,’ Roman warned. ‘That’s enough.’

  ‘No it isn’t,’ she replied, her voice shaking with emotion. ‘She ruined my life, Roman, or have you forgotten that?’

  ‘No, I haven’t forgotten and I really am sorry.’ He put his hand on Tiffany’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. ‘But she has nowhere else to go.’

  Tiffany whimpered and shook her head. ‘We were talking about getting married, Ro,’ she cried, swiping at tears on her face. ‘You weren’t here, you didn’t know what we were like together.’

  Things were becoming clearer, and my heart ached for Tiffany—she looked devastated. She must have been deeply hurt by whatever had happened. This, whatever it was, was what she hated to talk about.

  ‘I know, and I hate how much they hurt you, but she was grieving and grief makes people do strange things.’ Roman looked down, with his hands on his hips. ‘Losing Michael—’

  ‘You can’t defend her just because of Michael! She can’t get away with shit just because her boyfriend died.’ Tiffany pushed a finger in Roman’s chest, as tears continued to crawl down her face. ‘But, it always comes back to him, doesn’t it? When will you just damn well let it go?’

  My head snapped to Roman, as he made a stricken noise from the back of his throat. His hands fisted as he looked at Tiffany with pain in his eyes.

  ‘Roman?’ I whispered, pushing up from my chair and going to him.

  He put out a hand and shook his head. ‘No, Summer. I just need a minute.’

  He pushed past Tiffany, swung open the door and stormed away, leaving me open-mouthed, staring at his sister.

  ‘What the hell is going on, Tiff?’

  As Tiff wiped her face, my stomach churned and a light sweat pricked my forehead. My cheerful, happy mood of earlier had well and truly disappeared.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Tiffany sobbed, dropping down onto a chair. ‘But I just fucking hate her, Summer.’

  ‘Caroline, obviously.’

  She nodded silently, fished a tissue from her jacket pocket, and wiped her nose with it.

  ‘She took him from me,’ she said, her chin trembling. ‘Everyone thought, just because we’d only been together a few months that I was fine. And I admit that I am better off without him—I know that now—but he broke my heart. She broke my heart.’

  I moved over to Tiff and put an arm around her shoulder, hugging her to my side.

  ‘What happened, Tiff?’

  She turned her red-rimmed eyes to me and gave me a weak smile.

  ‘After Michael died, Roman went away to work down South, where Caroline and Michael had been living for a couple of years. I don’t know, maybe he felt closer to him there. And, of course, there was her.’

  My heartbeat increased at Tiffany’s words and what they might mean.

  ‘Were they in a relationship?’ I asked quietly.

  ‘God no, he just wanted to help her and Maisie. He wanted to check up on her, make sure she was okay.’

  She spat the words out as though they were poison. ‘He said he owed it to Michael. He pretty much cut himself off from the rest of us—his family. Then about four years ago, he started to phone home and spend Christmas with us, and it felt like we were getting him back. Finally, he came back to live here, said he wanted to come home and have a family of his own, with all of us all around.’ She started to laugh through her tears. ‘Hah, he always used to say he wanted eleven kids, so I guess his poor wife would need help with a brood that big.’

  Bile rose to my throat at Tiffany’s words. This was exactly what I’d been dreading. It felt like her words were a death knell to my relationship.

  As my head buzzed with the information, Tiffany started to talk again.

  ‘He’d been home about six months, when he told us that she was coming back too. He said that Caroline wanted Maisie to spend more time with her grandparents, get to know them a little better.’

  Dread slammed against my already racing heart. I couldn’t help wondering whether she’d really come back for Roman. Nausea fought with the nerves in my stomach as I gasped.

  ‘Are you sure they weren’t together?’ I asked, self
ishly forgetting Tiffany’s current despair.

  ‘No, honestly. I swear, it was nothing like that,’ Tiffany said, shaking her head and grabbing my hand. ‘He really only ever kept an eye on her. But when he came home, I think he suggested that she come too. Said it was stupid being there when her parents lived here. So eventually she did.’

  ‘And what happened?’ My voice was quiet and timid, still worried about what I was going to hear.

  ‘It was Roman’s birthday and she came around to the house with a card and present for him. I was there with my boyfriend. When he saw her, that was it. He told me later that it was love at first sight. He couldn’t help it. Within two weeks, he’d dumped me and moved in with her. Maisie even calls him “daddy”.’

  Tiffany took a deep breath and studied our hands that were still joined.

  ‘It’s not losing him, Summer, it’s the way I lost him. He was cruel and mean when he told me, and she sat in his car, watching, while he dumped me in the cinema car park. She’s never apologised, and still thinks it’s okay to prey on my brother’s good nature because of Michael. I hate her and I can’t believe he’s letting her stay at his house. I feel like he’s taking her side, all because of damn Michael.’

  Roman’s loyalty to Michael was admirable, but Tiffany felt betrayed by it, no matter how torn Roman was.

  ‘Now, they’re not together either?’ I said.

  ‘No, he’s dumped her too—in readiness for his next conquest no doubt.’ Tiffany shook her head. ‘Kicked her out about a month ago.’

  ‘Is he local, because I have to be honest, he can’t be much of a human being if he’s wiped Maisie from his life, even if she isn’t his.’

  ‘Hah!’ Tiffany scoffed. ‘Jack Abbott has no conscience, Summer, so it’s no surprise he doesn’t even care about a child who calls him daddy.’

  ‘Jack Abbott,’ I said on a gasp. ‘You’re joking? Roman didn’t say he was Caroline’s ex.’

  ‘Probably because I asked him never to tell anyone,’ Tiffany replied. ‘It was humiliating. I’d told people we were going to get engaged and then he dumped me. It was less embarrassing to say we’d drifted apart.’

  ‘Oh, Tiff.’

  ‘I’m not proud of the fact that I’ve lied, Summer, but it was the only way I could get through it.’

  As what Tiff said, ran around my brain, I finally understood why Roman hated Jack Abbott.

  While I comforted Tiffany, my phone beeped on my desk, and, when I checked it later, I saw that it was a text from Roman:

  Grumpy: Can you meet me at my house? We need to talk.

  We were at Roman’s house and I was preparing to talk. I was also preparing to leave with my heart broken, because I was sure that Roman was going to end things.

  ‘Here you go,’ Roman said passing me a glass of wine.

  ‘Thanks.’

  I took it from him with a smile, and settled back into the sofa.

  ‘Where’s Caroline?’ I asked.

  ‘I paid for her to take Maisie for a burger and then the cinema. They won’t be back for a few hours.’

  While I was annoyed that Roman had paid, I was also grateful that we could talk without fear of being interrupted, especially by Caroline. It was no comfort that I’d been right about her.

  ‘She’s skint,’ he said looking at me warily, evidently reading my mind. ‘But we need to talk, and she doesn’t need to hear what I’m going to tell you. I need to explain things to you, so that you understand why I’ve done something that has upset Tiff so much.’

  I sighed as I recalled poor Tiff, and how she’d still been upset when she’d left the office. This had to be something Roman felt was really necessary to leave his sister in such a state.

  ‘Okay,’ I said quietly. ‘Tell me.’

  Dragging in a breath, Roman looked at me with tearful eyes.

  ‘I told you how Michael and I met, and how close we were.’

  I nodded. ‘Boxing club.’

  ‘Yeah, we were both really good. Although I had a better technique, Michael had the raw aggression. Then about eight years ago, he and Caroline moved down South. I was doing well on the boxing scene, but Michael felt that our trainer wasn’t doing enough for him. I think he thought that Dickie was concentrating on me too much, and getting me all the best bouts on the card.’

  ‘Did you argue about it?’ I asked, wondering whether this was what was fanning the flames of guilt.

  Roman shook his head. ‘God, no. Michael totally understood, but he felt he needed someone who would make him their priority. That’s when he found a guy called, Tom Anderson. Tom was based in Camden, so Michael got a transfer with his job and moved himself and Caroline to Essex.’

  ‘Did you lose touch?’

  ‘No, we spoke most days either on the phone or via text. When Caroline got pregnant, he was so excited, he called to tell me before his own parents. Then …’

  Roman took in a deep breath and swallowed audibly.

  ‘I killed him, Summer,’ he said, ‘with one punch I killed him, and ruined Maisie’s and Caroline’s lives.’

  Air dragged from my lungs as Roman’s words registered with my brain.

  He killed his friend.

  Boxing.

  The pictures in his wardrobe.

  Tears sprang to my eyes as I saw the pain in Roman’s eyes. I wanted to comfort him, yet my own shock wouldn’t allow me to move. Putting down my wine, with shaking hands, I shrank back into the chair and placed a hand against my churning stomach.

  ‘What happened?’ I whispered.

  Roman sat forwards, his forearms resting on his thighs, his hands clutched together. He looked up at me, and there were now tears on his cheeks.

  ‘As much as I don’t want to tell you this, you have to know. You mean a lot to me, Summer, and you’re meaning more to me every day. I don’t ever speak of this, because it cripples me knowing what I did.’

  He let out a shuddering breath, linked his hands behind his neck and looked at me. The pain he was feeling was evident on his face. His eyes shone and his chin was trembling as he took a deep breath.

  I couldn’t stand to see the pain in his eyes. Just thinking about telling me was killing him, and that was making my heart ache for him.

  ‘Roman.’ I moved closer to him, placing a hand on his knee.

  ‘I … I … Shit!’ he muttered. ‘This is so fucking hard, but I want you to know.’

  ‘Hey, it’s okay.’ I reached out for his hand and pulled him closer to me. ‘You don’t have to tell me.’

  ‘No,’ he said, resting his forehead against mine. ‘I want to tell you. I don’t want any secrets from you.’

  I swallowed back the guilt, thinking about the secret that I was keeping from him. A secret I was keeping for my own selfish reasons: he wanted a big family, and I couldn’t give that to him. But if we got through tonight, then I knew I had to tell Roman about the problems that I would have having children. No matter what the cost to my heart.

  ‘Just take your time,’ I whispered, bringing his hand to my lips.

  ‘Well,’ he started, with another deep breath, ‘like I said, I was pretty good. I fought at Middleweight, so I was a couple of stones lighter then.’ Roman shook his head and smiled ruefully. I had no idea why because there wasn’t an ounce of fat on him, he was all toned muscle.

  ‘Anyway,’ he continued, ‘I was making a name for myself on the semi-professional scene. More importantly, for some, making a serious amount of money.’

  ‘So you fought in competitions for prize money?’ I asked, holding his hand tight. He needed to know that I was there for him, no matter what he was telling me.

  ‘Hmm, kind of,’ he replied with a shrug. ‘It was all exhibition-type fights—gentlemen’s evenings and boxing shows—but the prize money I earned was pretty damn good.’

  ‘But I thought unless you were a professional, and boxing title-fights, boxers rarely made much money?’ I’d taken that much in when my dad was droning on about boxing
.

  ‘Generally you don’t, but Vance, my manager at the time, was bloody good, and I was a good fighter. So as well as the prize money, I’d get a percentage of the ticket sales, which, as I was so good, was always a hefty amount because people wanted to see me fight. The other thing Vance did, unless it was for charity, was to negotiate a percentage of the bets placed.’

  ‘They actually bet on that level too?’

  ‘Yeah, people will bet on pretty much anything, and they were putting big amounts on me, so it was very lucrative. Obviously some bookies wouldn’t agree, but it got to a point where Vance had the say on the bookies that could attend, so if they didn’t agree to the deal then didn’t get in.’

  ‘Wow,’ I gasped, ‘he was one astute businessman.’

  ‘I owe him a lot,’ Roman replied as he raked a hand through his hair. ‘I made a shitload of money that helped me to buy this place and, eventually, buy a partnership in Ziggy’s and the business.’

  ‘If you were so good why didn’t you become professional?’

  I shifted on the sofa, and Roman gently pulled his hand from mine. I reached for it again: we needed to have contact. I would not let him slip away from me while he told me the worst thing that had ever happened in his life. As my fingers wrapped around his, Roman gave me a small smile and sighed.

  ‘That’s where my nightmare starts, really,’ Roman sighed. ‘I’d joined a boxing association and had won a few bouts. So now I was fighting in a national championship—the first steps to going professional—and that’s when it all went wrong.’ He looked at me, his anxiety evident in his eyes, which were wide and staring.

  ‘You don’t have to tell me this,’ I said, softly, cupping his face.

  He shook his head and gently pushed away from me.

  ‘No, you have to know all the details.’

  I didn’t want him to do this. Reliving it was killing him, but he was determined to work through it.

  ‘Okay, but stop if you want to.’

  He took a deep, shuddering breath and grabbed my hand back.

  ‘Michael was moving up the ranks too, but I was the one that people were talking about. One day we ended up on the same card. My original opponent had dropped out, and, without me realising it, Michael’s manager arranged for Michael to fill the spot.’